Authors Note: Suicide Mentions. Yooooooooo. I'm back and determined to finish
Step One - Pack away every belonging that was important, and make sure it's easy to find.
Matt had been desperately trying to get his effects in order .Locker room was empty, and it was the perfect time to think about what had happened. He'd helped cause someone's death. He'd been a part in what had happened, and honestly? It was eating him alive. The page is still up on his screen, fated words written by what seemed like a vengeful spirit. Maybe she'd enjoy it if he was gone, maybe things would be better if his existence was over. It seemed like it. People that knew what he'd done, their gazes made him more uncomfortable than he was. Did they know? Did they know that the blade that had hit her skin was his fault? His hands shake, the feeling of wanting to throw up so strong. "Matt."It's Seth. He's not even too sure how long he's been there - but he knows where the email had come from, and that the man staring at him is the reason his guilt has returned in
"Huh?" Maybe if he played dumb, things would be fine. Seth had been one of them that had agreed with that stupid list. He'd been the one that had suggested putting her on it. Why didn't he have to feel the incredible pain that Matt was going through? A small shuffle of his feet, and Matt's stood. Pale skin glinting under the locker room light "- You sent it on yet?" No, he'd have to do that later. He had others to read, right? He couldn't just send it on without…. "Hey, Can I just.. Not read the others?" Watching as his company shrugged, Matt glanced down. He'd do it. Send it over to Sasha, and let things just continue on. He'd go out with the others, and things would be ridiculously fine. He wouldn't be thinking about.. Nope, that wasn't to think about now. He wouldn't think about the guns that were back at his hotel, the ones that he'd put to his head and finish it. "I think we all need to meet and talk about this." He had a point, now that Matt thought about it. All of them needed to figure out what they were gonna do if it did get out. Yeah, there were people that weren't too bad - apparently, but it was enough that it would tarnish careers if they did get out. Especially the few people later on. He focused down on his phone, the list of names - the pages that followed after his. It all seemed way too much for him to handle. Matt leant back, his hands slowly drifting away from the
"Yeah, I'll s-" The locker room door opened slowly, and there stood his brother. Matt couldn't help but smile. The situation was awkward, and he didn't want to talk about what he'd done. Jeff could help out. Maybe.
It had been an hour or so later. The arenas gym area was nice, a small pool which was enough for them to just laze around in, and for a moment - Matt was sure that he felt a little happier. It was like being a child again, where things didn't seem as stressful. Matt had leant himself back against the water, allowing his head to slip under gently. The sound of the water was peaceful. The rush of the water against the skin of his face was nice, and every part of him was wondering if he could just… let himself go.
The water was so damn warm. Another careless moment and his head was swimming with thoughts of what Gemma had gone through in her final moments, but that peace is dragged out of him when his shoulder is grabbed and he's tugged out of the water. What the fuck was Jeff doing? His arm quickly moved from where Jeff had pulled on it. "Dude, what the fuck?" Why did he always seem to ruin the moments that he had to himself where things were all the more… fine. Jeff had gone into a tirade, about how he couldn't lose someone else that he cared about. Maybe that was a good thing. Jeff could live a life without having to worry about him. He'd blanked out. Gone into a moment of silence where he had nothing to worry about. Jeff had proudly made sure he was out of the pool and wrapped in a towel. His final words had hit him like a brick shit house "We've already lost one third of us. Don't make it 2. I can't deal with that." How it stung to hear his brother talk with such words, words that had been pained by their experience
So, off he began, the slow walk through the arena. Matt had took to taking in everything that he could, where the three of them used to sit, to where he'd watch her smoke every day just to make sure she got back in properly. It was there that he found Sasha, a small frown resting on her face. What in the ever loving fuck did she have to smile about? She was on here too, wasn't she? "Hey?" There's the link open on her screen, and even after all that they'd been through, he wanted to be there for her. . She deserved the good,she deserved nothing but the good that came her way. It was what she got for being talented, and just… all around a decent person "Do you want someone to sit with you whilst you read that?" Her nod is all he needs to see to move that little bit closer and just.. "I'm sorry we even got dragged into this."
And Sasha found herself looking up at him with the roundest of eyes, a gentle shrug rolling from her shoulders "I'm sorry we even met her. Things would be way easier if I could've just… not met her at all." That was a lie. Their worlds would have been far different if it hadn't have been for Gemma and her stupid attitude to life.