So, I'm in medical school myself and I know what you're gonna be thinking when you read this chapter "wtf is thorazine and secobarbital and what do they do?"

Thorazine is a sedative given to psychotic patients who act out to keep them from hurting someone, it's side effects include dizziness, disorientation, slow heart rate, labored/difficulty breathing, anxiety, increased sensations especially nerve receptors that target pain senses, and lethargy or inhibition of reflexes and reaction time.

Secobarbital is also a type of sedative in the same basic category except it will weaken the body and sharpen the mind and causes impaired motor functions/coordination/balance, dizziness, anxiety, headache, sever nausea/vomiting, headache, increased sensitivity to pain.

Mixing the two drugs above is VERY BAD! and should NEVER be done! if another sedative were to be given with them it has a high risk factor of fatality by slowing the breath rate and heart rate to 0, in other words the patient would flatline.

Okay, enough medical jargan...

Ch 2: The Rush

When you ask someone why they became a doctor the answers are usually the same, the rush, the adrenaline that runs like liquid fire through your veins when you make that first cut, the high you get when you see that limb you've reattached turn pink or that heart that was diseased and killing your patient get replaced and you get to feel that first contraction, that first beat of life. Some say they do it for glory, the feeling of playing God, holding someone's life in your hands, hearing the beep of the monitors becomes like a lullaby instead of an annoyance.

Derek's mind woke before his senses began to function, at first he wondered where he was. He felt cold hard concrete beneath him through the thin material of his button down, but was somehow soaking wet. The sun was just peeking through the trees and hadn't yet come all the way into view,' I was getting gas, was it raining? Have I been here all night?,' he thought to himself,' I had gotten back into my car…' terror washed over him as he remembered the attack,' it hasn't rained,' he gently tried to pick up his head,' I'm not wet, I'm bleeding…'

Footsteps, his eyes were closed but he heard the footsteps clearly and winced they were so loud,' Mer?' his thoughts were sluggish. There was a hand on his back, shaking him and someone was talking but he couldn't comprehend their words. Then someone screamed, a high pitched squeal of a scream and then a thud on the ground next to him.

"Hey buddy, I called an ambulance for you," the voice was right next to his ear," just hang in there you're gonna be okay."

'Is that supposed to make me feel better?' Derek would have laughed if he thought he had the strength, the irony of the situation. Why did people think if they called an ambulance every thing would be fine? Paramedics weren't God, nor were doctors in the hospital they'd no doubt be taking him to.

The siren's blare was deafening as the ambulance sped into the gas station, the doors popped open and Derek heard three sets of feet hit the concrete," Hey man, how're you feeling?" understatement of the year would have been "not so good" if he thought he could've gotten the words out. The EMT's began opening duffle bags and snapping on gloves, the next half hour was a blur from the ground to the spine board to the ambulance. Different faces hovered in and out of his vision as the paramedics poked and prodded," We're losing him, push 10 of epi and hang some fluids…" Derek's eyes grew heavy," Stay with us, you're gonna be okay. What's your name?"

"Wait he…he gave me something," his voice sounded distant and weak even to him," I'm Derek."

"Okay Derek, what do you do for a living?" the paramedic was young and his eyes were wide and scared.

"I'm a…a doctor, he gave me something," he licked his lips and tasted more blood.

"You're gonna be fine Derek," the paramedic seemed to ignore his previous statement," we're gonna take care of you."

" I know what you're trying to do," his throat burned with every word," I'm not okay, and the fact you're…" Derek tried to catch his breath," asking me questions proves that."

"No, you really will be all right," the young man was shaking," I'm not lying."

Derek was losing grip and about to pass out," One tip," he grabbed the paramedic's shirt and pulled him a bit closer so the others wouldn't hear," learn to lie a bit better," and with that Derek's vision faded and everything went black.

"Maybe McDreamy passed out in one of the on-call rooms or in his car somewhere while getting gas, either way I have a triple bi-pass in like an hour and I get to do it unsupervised and SOLO!" Christina Yang crunched on her potato chips and was practically bouncing up and down in her seat," It's been almost a week since I've held a heart!"

"But what if Derek's been hurt? What if he's speeding again and he hit someone? What if…"

"Okay, you know I don't do the 'what if' thing, Mer, so don't start it and ruin my good day and my happy feelings coming from my solo surgery, did I mention it's a triple bi-pass?"

"Yes you did," Meredith chewed her lip nervously," yeah but if he fell asleep in a corner of the hospital I'm going to kill him! I haven't been by his office today, I'll bet he fell asleep doing paperwork…again."

"Yeah men are just that dumb sometimes, I think all their blood goes to their pants instead of their brains."

Derek woke suddenly as his body jolted and tried to sit up, the restraints across his chest and stomach inhibited him of getting very far but seemed to do well in sending sharp pains through his chest," Welcome back," the young paramedic's face came into vision again, smiling like he'd won the lottery," we're almost there, another like 5 or 6 minutes. I toldya you'd be okay didn't I?" all Derek could manage was a nod and a sigh of relief," okay he's back, hang some fluids and push 50 of morphine, let's get him feeling a bit better so the…" the voice faded as the name of that drug came to him.

Flashback

Clark's weight pressed on the car door and threatened to crush his shoulder, the blade of the knife shown in the moonlight as it shot out of it's sheath. Derek closed his eyes and swallowed hard, cold steel pressed firmly against his throat,' Is this it?' terror ran through him, momentarily letting him forget his aching shoulder,' he's going to slit my throat and watch me bleed out,' sometimes he hated being a doctor as images of exactly which veins and arteries Clark could sever from this position. He could almost feel his veins burst beneath the blade his heart was pounding so hard,' Blood pressure is up, heart rate increasing, if he cuts me now it'll only take about three minutes for me to completely bleed out instead of five to seven; I'll drown in my own blood if I don't crash fast enough…'

"Oh, I'm not killing you yet," Clark's voice sounded excited," no Sheppard, I'm not that merciful. In fact, I had a friend mix up a little cocktail for you," Derek the pressure shift from one end of the blade to the other as Clark fished something out of the inside pocket of his coat," You might call this Thorazine and Secobarbital, but that wouldn't be right," terror washed over Derek and his entire body went cold, Clark had a syringe filled as full as it would allow," but my friend calls this the 'Zombie's Cocktail' I thought about a Morphine and Epinephrine mix but the Morphine would block out most of your pain receptors and you might pass out on me," he tried pushing on the car door, desperately trying to get away or at least inside the car so he could get away. Clark dug the blade into his jugular," if you don't hold still I can still cut you to ribbons," to prove this Clark drew the knife to Sheppard's earlobe and down the side of his neck to his shoulder leaving a small trail of blood as it went," You're going to wish you'd never picked that scalpel up," Derek jerked as the needle stung his neck," as a matter of fact, you're going to wish you'd never went to med school."

End flashback

"NO!" Derek gasped," no morphine," he knew his voice was shaking, the paramedic looked confused," I told you, he…he gave me something…"

"Okay man, we'll make sure we get whatever it was out of your car, just calm down…" as the paramedic spoke, he had positioned a restraint over Derek's left arm and pulled it tight, the needle pierced his forearm and the EMT pushed the Morphine.

With his free hand, Sheppard grabbed the paramedic's shirt and made sure he got a good look at his nametag," I told you…not to give me Morphine…"

"Why not?"

"Because, the man who attacked me shot me up with Thorazine and Secobarbital…" his chest tightened," with the biggest syringe I've ever seen," his breath was slowing down and heart rate going up," I told you I was a doctor, Ronnie…and you may…have…just…" Derek's body shuddered," you may have just killed me…"

AN: What'd you think? Should this be a MerDer story or should I grab another random char/OC who isn't so MarySuish and so frickin' annoying? Lemme know in your reviews bcuz Derek eventually has to make it to the hospital...