Thank you so much for all the love and support on this story! I'm so glad to see that you guys are all enjoying such a short and silly project. Chapters should be coming out every Tuesday as long as I can keep up!

Enjoy!

~Alyssa

At times, it seemed to Link Cearneigh, Member of the Hylian Royal Guard, that he would never have peace.

A single step through the door of his barrack confirmed this thought.

"You've done it this time, Cearneigh," said Abernathy, his partner in rotation.

Link gave his comrade a dirty look, unclipping his gauntlets one by one as he made his way over to his bed. "I can't say I know what you're talking about."

That was, of course, a lie. Every man in his regiment-and probably several from regiments beyond-knew and were much entertained by the way the Princess gave him her particular attentions. Much like the Princess' incessant attempts to make him smile, he was given no respite from their teasing. But, much like the Princess, Link wouldn't give them the satisfaction of knowing just how much they affected him.

Though he made no move from his bunk, Archer, bless him, came to Link's aid. "Give it a rest, Abernathy."

Abernathy, however, was most certainly not going to give it a rest. "I don't get it," he continued, "The answer is easy. You just smile, give her the satisfaction, and she'll leave you alone."

From his top bunk, Beylin leaned down, guffawing. "Have you ever considered that Cearneigh doesn't want her to leave him alone?"

Smacking his head aside, Link sat down on his bed below Beylin's, beginning to remove his boots. "I only do my job." he said. He only hoped that his ears weren't as red as they felt.

"If you wanted to get on with your job, you'd let her move on from you," said Abernathy.

"I'm no so weak that I need to break the law to be able to do my job," he replied. "How long did it take for you to cave? A day?"

"Two," snorted Archer.

"Grounds for dismissal, I think," Link said gravely.

Abernathy gave him a rather rude hand gesture in response. Link balled up his socks and pegged it towards his face.

Beylin wouldn't give up as easily as that, though. "Just admit it, Link. You're taken with the Princess!"

It was true. Link was taken with the Princess. Absolutely besotted, in fact. She was clever and beautiful and lighthearted, and if that wasn't enough, she spread joy everywhere she went. There wasn't a person under the King's service in the castle that didn't adore her, and he much looked forward to the time she spent in his presence.

It was the only time he'd ever get, after all.

"You've caught me, Bey," Link rolled his eyes as he hung up his coat and sheath on the pegs by his bunk. "A noble, wealthy lad such as myself is always in search of an eligible woman to be his wife. Only the best will do. How many diamonds should I have on her engagement ring before I propose?"

The boys burst out laughing, a welcome sound after a long day of stoicism.

"She'll give up on you before long," said Archer, meaning to be reassuring. "There's a new round of cadets coming in next week. There's no way she'll be able to resist."

The thought of that was rather disheartening. He'd just have to wait and see.

"I've got to get through tomorrow first," he said to his friend, pulling his pajamas out from his trunk.

And, just to be safe, he peeked down the legs of his trousers before putting them on.

xxxx

If Link thought that he was going to have a quiet shift the next morning, he was sorely mistaken. Not an hour into his rotation in the East Wing, the King and the Princess walked by. And, by some horrible shred of luck, the King had business with him today.

"Soldier Cearneigh," the King called as he walked to stand before him, offering a nod in greeting. "How fares the day?"

Princess Zelda, after glancing either way to ensure no one else was looking, moved to follow him. She threw her shoulders back and puffed out her cheeks, resting her hands on her hips as she mimicked her father's gait.

Goddesses. In front of the King? Had she no shame?

Though he was absolutely mortified at the idea of breaking before the most powerful man in the kingdom, the challenge made him all the more determined. If the Princess wished to throw the gauntlet, he'd pick it up and toss it right back.

"Unremarkable, your Majesty," Link replied, his jaw clenching. He met the King's gaze, trying very hard not to pay attention to what was going on behind him.

"Just as I like to hear it. Now, you'll forgive me for distracting you from your work, but I've heard the most remarkable thing from my brother, General Gustaf…"

He gave his best effort to pay attention to the King. Truly, he did. But the Princess behind him was being so ridiculous that there was no way he could prevent himself from following her antics.

His lip twitched, and he bit down on it.

"...and you were able to make the best of three other men? Is he correct in his retelling?"

"Yes, your Majesty," he managed.

"Truly astounding! How I'd love to be present for such a feat of skill…"

With a glint in her eye, the Princess continued to mock her father, mimicking his lofty hand gestures just an inch behind him. A moment later, however, she reached into her sleeve and pulled something out, pressing it to her face with a barely concealed giggle.

A mustache. A mustache that was exactly like the King's. She wiggled her mouth, and the horrible, horrible thing quavered just the same way as it would atop her father's lip. If her impersonation was ridiculous before, it was absolutely hilarious now. Mirth rose in his chest, but he fiercely pushed it down.

He would not be bested by her!

Strained, he exhaled through his nose. His grip grew tight on his spear as he trained his eyes once again on the King's face, calling upon every ounce of discipline and self-control that years of training had cultivated. He would not smile. He would not laugh. He would come out the victor in this exchange, if it were the last thing he ever did.

"...and there is the matter of the position that Captain Elward left, what with his injury…"

There was no focus in the world, however, that would prevent him from seeing the cushion slip from the Princess' hand and onto the floor just behind the King.

Cold dread filled his heart.

Goddesses, she wouldn't. Would she? He wasn't sure. All he knew was that, if the King stepped on that cushion, there was a very good chance that he would crumble.

"Papa?" the Princess quickly removed her mustache before her father turned, giving him her sweetest smile. "Would I be able to come to this show of skill that you propose?"

Her intention was to lure him onto the blasted cushion, but the King only turned his head. This gave Link the opportunity to reach out with his leg, tenderly using his foot to drag it out of danger.

No such luck. The pressure of the situation made him less than delicate, and he winced as the cushion emitted a most unflattering noise. The King paused mid-sentence in his response to his daughter to glance back at Link, who closed his eyes, exhaling heavily.
"Pardon me, your Majesty," he said.

The look on Princess Zelda's face when he met her eyes was perhaps funnier than all her previous antics combined.

"Yes, dearest, of course you may come," said the King, "But only after I have someone speak to the cook about what they're feeding our soldiers." He guffawed, clasping Link on the shoulder. "Now, come along. We have other matters to attend to. Until then, Soldier."

Link bowed his head to the King, keeping his eyes low so he wouldn't have to watch the stunned-and outsmarted-Princess follow bewildered after her father.

Then, when he was certain they were out of earshot, Link bent over at the middle and wheezed.

Leave a word if you would! I'm excited to see what kind of antics you guys want these two to get into.

Until next time :D