Chapter 2: Scars

"Everything you can imagine is real."―Pablo Picasso

xxx

He did not know what happened at that moment. As he was standing in the middle of nowhere, he just saw a car coming towards him. He felt himself floating lightly in the air, as though he was literally flying. A white flash of light blinded his vision, and a few seconds later, the reality began crashing down on him. His eyes snapped open and he gasped out in extreme pain as his entire body fell onto the road hardly. All he could hear were voices buzzing noisily at his ears. His head hurt, as though something hard was hammering at the side of his forehead.

Suddenly, he saw a black figure leaning down towards him. His face shielded the glaring sunlight away, his lips moving as though he was trying to tell him something. He wanted to respond, but realised that he had no energy to do so, and he was seeping out of consciousness. He stared as hard as he could, trying to remember that person's face, before everything went black.

Oi, are you alright? Oi!

"Allen! Allen!"

The silver-haired teen moved slightly, his lips parting a little as he let out a soft sigh. His eyes slowly opened as images started to appear. He peered at the plain white room for a while, before shifting his gaze to a teenage girl who was wearing a uniform. He swallowed with difficulty as he tried adjusting his body. He winced and whimpered as pain shot up his body all of a sudden.

"Where..."

"You are in the hospital. How are you feeling right now?" There was a foreign voice from the other side of the bed. Allen glanced at the person wearing in plain white as he was writing something on the memo pad. A woman wearing white as well was standing beside him. He groaned as he touched his warm forehead, wondering what had exactly happened. His mind was just in a blank state, not recalling anything.

"Uh, not good? It hurts...everywhere," He muttered softly. He just nodded his head in reply, as he turned to check on the medical equipment beside the bed.

"Looks like there isn't anything serious, just a slight concussion. You can be discharged after a few days' of observation here." He and the woman in white stepped out of the room once they had finished. Allen just stared at them in silence, before he turned to the teenage girl who was wearing the same college uniform as him.

"Uh, you are..." Her eyes widened in shock. She gasped as she grabbed his hands in agitation, startling him.

"Don't you remember me? I'm Sally, your senior! I witnessed everything from behind, and I'm still slightly shaken. Oh, are you alright Allen?" He coughed as he gave a weak smile, redrawing his hands from hers. He then remembered that she was one of his best friends in school. Allen moved his hands as he struggled to sit up. She hurried over and put the pillow upwards, supporting him at the same time.

"Thank you."

"You are welcome. Don't scare me like this again, Allen. This should teach you a lesson not to read something when you are crossing the road. You might not have realised this, but you always do that," She lectured as she folded her arms, angry at his action. He just smiled again as he muttered an apology.

"There was a large crowd surrounding you. It was so hard approaching you, but there was someone who managed to get you out and sent you to a hospital. And you will never guess who that person was," She said as she stared at the ceiling, showing such an exaggerating expression on her face. Allen just blinked, not understanding what she was saying.

"So?" He frowned as he touched the side of his forehead, recovering something from his memory. Someone was there, looking anxiously at him while the accident occurred. It was so dark that he couldn't get to see his face. He grimaced as he bit his lip, wondering who he was. Who was this person calling out to him?

"It's him!" She exclaimed.

"Who?" Allen asked in bewilderment. She was silent for a moment, before she turned around, masking a serious expression on her face.

"It's him. Kanda Yuu, that famous Japanese model. I can't believe that I actually saw him on the streets!" She wailed and screamed as she jumped in excitement. Moments later, a nurse came in and asked her to lower her voice. She stopped laughing as she apologised. Allen just stared at the ceiling blankly, his mind wandering back to that particular part of his broken memory when someone was desperately calling out for him.

Oi, are you alright? Oi!

"I can't remember," The silver-haired teen answered softly, wincing in slight pain as he felt his throbbing head. She just stared at him in disappointment, before she sighed and pulled a chair over to the side of the bed and sat down.

"You really cannot remember anything in regards to the accident?" She asked again. Allen nodded his head. All he could recall was voices and dark figures and faces. After that, he found himself here. The silver-haired teen ran his fingers through his silver hair, confused.

"Never mind. I'm so glad that you are okay now. Do take a good rest!" She stood up and patted his shoulders lightly. Allen just smiled and waved as she walked out of the room. As the doors slowly closed with a click, his hand stopped as the smile faltered. He touched the front of his forehead as he winced at the excruciating pain. It was currently Monday. He wondered whether he was in good condition to help out at the fair on Sunday. Even so, he would definitely come, because he needed money for his daily expenses. He wasn't one rich kid. He had to earn his own money.

It's him. Kanda Yuu.

Allen chuckled as he shook his head. How would a famous celebrity be there and helped him when he was unconscious? He should have his own business to do then to care for a student who wasn't even related to him. The silver-haired teen turned and looked out of the window, lost in his thoughts.

The manager walked along the corridor warily, avoiding people's gazes as nurses and doctors were streaming in and out of the rooms and lifts. Patients were walking around the place, some sitting down on benches staring into space. He then turned to the left and saw the raven-haired man wearing black shades standing in view. He walked to him and stood beside him, leaning to him as he tried not to get anyone's attention.

"So how is he?" Kanda asked.

"He is just suffering from a concussion. It was heard that he will be alright in a few days' time. Do you want to visit him?" Jonathan asked. The raven-haired man snorted in reply as he adjusted his black shades and walked towards the exit, ignoring his words.

"He was the one who suddenly appear out of the blue. It isn't my fault."

"You still dare to say that!" He hissed softly. The manager looked around, before he walked closer to him and whispered,"You are the one who caused all of these. Don't you think you should go and apologise?"

"No." They stepped out of the hospital. A black sedan was there, waiting for them. As they entered and closed the doors, Kanda took out the black shades and brushed some of his raven hair strands to the back of his left shoulder. The manager took out his cap which was meant for disguise, making a face at that attitude.

"How can you say that when you are the one who caused everything? I have told you to slow down, yet you never listen! Now, it really happened! You should be glad that this news does not spread to the media, or else the consequence will be dire!" Jonathan snapped in anger. Kanda just grunted as he covered one of his ears which was facing the manager's direction, shutting off his loud voice which was causing him to have a headache. What was he making a fuss of? Nothing had happened right? It wasn't as if he caused someone's death.

"Don't give me this type of expression! I'm worried for your reputation, Kanda. If news like this leak out, your career will be gone forever. This is a crucial period when you are just starting to pick up and becoming famous," Jonathan warned as he took out some documents from his bag and started to read. Kanda just rolled his eyes in slight boredom, choosing not to answer this question as he stared at the streets outside the window.

Frankly, he didn't really want to be famous. Being a model wasn't his ideal job, because he was constantly exposed to the crowd. He did not have any privacy at all. From the day he started to train to be a professional model, he had changed his phone number for twenty times and moved houses for five times just to get away from those fans who were disturbing his leisure days at home. Even if he hated socialising with people, he had to force himself to do that. His life was disrupted, all thanks to a certain old man. If it was not because of earning good money from it, he would have quit this job.

He glanced outside, seeing teenagers who were slightly younger than him walking and playing with one another. They wouldn't care about what was happening around them. They just did what they wanted, and no one would notice them anyway. He would sometimes envy the life that they were living, and wished that if he had the choice, he would do the same way. At this, he let out a soft sigh.

"What is it?" The manager asked. He did not answer, continuing to stare outside as he leaned lightly against the car door. His mind slowly recalled that moment when his car crashed onto that silver-haired teenager who was probably three years younger than him. To be honest, he was slightly taken aback, because it happened too fast that he couldn't control it, and when that teenager collapsed onto the ground in a pool of blood, he couldn't help but call out towards him, hoping that he would hear him. Now when he thought of it, he wondered why he did that.

He spotted a mother tending to her child on the streets. His eyes narrowed as he stared elsewhere. It wasn't the same as that time. No matter how many times he called her, she would never wake up again.

"After your one week's break, you will be taking a music video together with a singer in . It should be her...second debut. This would let you gain more experience and secure your position as a professional at the same time. Hmm..." Jonathan's words trailed off as his hands were searching something, before he took out a folder with a small photo clipped at the side.

"There! She is the singer who will be in the music video." Kanda took the folder and flipped it open, seeing the first page. A photo of a pretty olive-haired girl was displayed in view. He looked down, his eyes narrowing slightly as he read out her name.

"Lenalee Lee..."

"Yes, that is her name! She is famous, and almost everyone want to get close to her! Guys would want to take her as their girlfriend! I'm...one of her fans too," Jonathan said with a slight creepy smile, his eyes glimmering in happiness. The raven-haired man just stared at him with disgust, deciding to ignore him as he looked at the document instead. He read through her particulars briefly, knowing that she was an Asian mixed. She founded her career when she was fourteen, and had been singing and acting ever since that day. He put the folder aside as he stretched himself and closed his eyes. Well, he wasn't interested in her anyway. He would do his job, and all would be done.

"Many people will envy you for this."

"It's just my job. I'm not interested in her." Jonathan blinked as he turned and stared at him in slight shock. Kanda continued flipping the pages of the documents. He then looked up, shooting a glare at the blonde who had been staring at him in silence for a while.

"What?" Jonathan just gulped, before he came near him and whispered.

"Perhaps...you like men?" Kanda's eyes went wide with shock. He growled angrily as he snapped the whole folder shut and threw it over his head instantly. Jonathan gasped, catching the flying papers hurriedly as he stared at the raven-haired man in astonishment. It was meant to be a joke, and he had always wanted to see how he reacted, but he hadn't thought that the Asian model would take it so seriously.

"I realised that you have been talking too much these days, Jonathan. There are some things that you can say, and there are some things that you cannot say. And one more thing," He turned to his manager and leaned closer towards him. Jonathan swallowed nervously as he slowly backed away, till his back leaned against the car door. Kanda continued to move forward, until his face was just a few centimetres away from his. He then stopped, before a smirk appeared.

"I am...not gay." Jonathan tried to maintain his calm expression as he slowly nodded his head. Kanda showed an eerie smile as he returned to his seat, whistling happily to himself as though nothing had happened. Noting that the raven-haired man was staring elsewhere, he looked outside the window, letting out a sigh. A little sunlight was starting to seep inside, brightening up the insides of the car. As he stared at the reflections of two people, he couldn't help but notice Kanda.

I am...not gay.

His heart thumped hardly in response. Jonathan's eyes slowly widened as he shifted his body, facing the front. He knew that Kanda wasn't gay, but why was he feeling slightly disappointed? He leaned against the couch as he covered his eyes by his arm, the strands of golden hair brushing against his skin.

The car slowly stopped to a halt as they arrived Kanda's house. Making sure that no anonymous person was there waiting for him, the manager opened the door and gestured him to come out. Kanda slowly stepped out, staring at the grand white terrace house which was his home. There would be no schedule from now on, and no one to be bothered from today onwards. As he thought of these, his heart fluttered lightly and a smile spread across his radiant face.

"Kanda?" Kanda turned to Jonathan who called. His eyes widened at the smile that he had just seen, wondering whether he was seeing the wrong things in daylight. He just shook his head, following the raven-haired man into his house.

Everything was arranged neatly in order, and he was still slightly amazed at how Kanda could tidy and keep his whole house clean, without a single speck of dust in sight. That guy always had a problem with his attitude, but he wouldn't allow himself to lose sight of what he should do. Jonathan sank onto the soft couch and sighed, feeling slightly lightheaded due to the lack of sleep to prepare for the coming event.

"I told you countless times to wear slippers when you step into my house," Kanda said as he threw a pair of slippers on the floor. He gave an apologetic smile as he wore the slippers and stretched his tired legs from the long hours of work. Kanda came back with a cup of green tea as he put it on the coffee table for him to drink.

"So what are you planning to do during your short break?" He asked. Kanda settled down on the couch and brought up today's newspaper to read.

"I'm not sure. Probably staying at home." Jonathan frowned.

"Staying at home again? You should come out and walk around once in a while! There is plenty of time to go out and do some shopping? Or you can ask your friends out for a date as well...Kanda?"

The raven-haired man was not really listening to his conversation, his eyes fixed onto the headlines from the newspaper. Jonathan sighed, giving up on persuading the obstinate man as he stood up and walked up the stairs to the second floor, where he saw four rooms. He strolled across the narrow passage in slight curiosity, finding an opened room which was presumed to be Kanda's. He took a slight peek, curious on what was inside.

The manager slowly pushed the door which was already opened slightly, making a soft creaking sound. He went in and looked around. There was a super-single bed, a desk for him to work on, shelves of books for him to read and an unknown sword leaning at the side of his drawer. He was slightly shocked that Kanda possessed such a dangerous thing, and wondered whether it was just a replica for decoration. The blonde stepped up in caution, his hand slowly reached out and touched the surface of it, feeling the extreme smoothness of the silver blade. As his fingers trailed the sharp edge of the sword, he hissed in pain, redrawing his hand away immediately as he sucked on his thumb which was cut instantly.

"That's so dangerous. You won't know what will happen if I make Kanda angry. Maybe he would just use his sword and slice me into pieces." At this, his body trembled. Jonathan turned, deciding to put his attention elsewhere to avoid imagining too much. His gaze wandered at his desk, seeing a very clean and nice wooden surface, bringing it a shine. He then saw a small photo frame of a little raven-haired boy smiling. Beside him was a rather beautiful raven-haired woman who was clasping that boy's hand. Jonathan stopped as he stared at it for a second, before taking it up by his hands and looked at it.

"Such a beautiful woman. She must be Kanda's mother. But..." He knew what had happened between this son and his mother. Because of certain matters, she ran out of the road and was knocked down by a car. She died instantly.

Now that he thought of it, the accident which happened today was rather similar to the one that happened to his mother. As he saw that teenager lying on the floor with a pool of blood beside him, that stoic expression changed instantly and he was horrified at what he saw. He wondered whether this accident brought him back to that painful past that he couldn't avoid. It wasn't his fault, yet he knew that Kanda blamed himself for not able to protect his beloved mother to the end.

Somehow, he hoped that Kanda could let it go and move on.

"What are you doing in my room?" Jonathan jumped as he turned and saw Kanda standing by the door. He laughed as he put down the photo frame quickly.

"Nothing! I just want to see what a typical model's room would be."

"More like sneaking around?" Kanda asked in suspicion as he went in and looked at him sternly. As Jonathan was about to explain, Kanda looked behind and noticed the photo frame which had been moved. He turned and glared at him.

"You just...touched my stuff?" Kanda demanded angrily as he glared at him.

"N-No, I just look at it. Don't overreact over this, Kanda..."

"I invite you to my house does not mean that you can touch my things!" Kanda hissed as he took the photo frame, opening the drawer and threw it inside, before shutting it with a loud slam.

"Get out," The raven-haired man said coldly with an emotionless gaze.

Jonathan wanted to say something, but the fact that he opened his secret once again was something that he shouldn't do. He slowly walked out, knowing that he shouldn't probe about this, but something within him just wouldn't let this matter rest. Whether he was going to be chased out of this house and never to step in again or not, he had to say it.

"Even though it was wrong of me to touch your things, but why are you so agitated over a plain photo frame? To you, it should be just a mere past. Isn't it?" His frown deepened as Kanda turned and stared at him darkly. He knew he shouldn't continue, but he couldn't bear to see him staying at that same place, unable to move on.

"That accident isn't your fault. She died because an incoming car was approaching her at a fast speed. You know that fully well."

Sapphire eyes widened in shock. How did he know his past so well?

"Why you..."

"Why do I know about this even though you didn't say it? I checked it out. When you enter a working industry, especially a modelling company where you are going to be exposed, all of your issues must be declared so that we can judge you more objectively. I read your resume, but I have a hunch that you are still hiding something, so I approached your father -" Before he could finish his words, he felt a hard punch on his face which sent him flying to the nearby cupboard. Jonathan winced as he touched his bruised face, feeling his head spinning in continuous circles as white stars flashed across his vision.

"Y-You...You checked on me?" Kanda asked in disbelief. He could not believe that he had betrayed his trust on him.

"It's the rules! You should know that! I have no choice as well. But...I wish that you shouldn't dwell too much on the past and move on. It wouldn't bring...bring your mother back to life. I know that she also want you to let it go and move on with life..."

"What? Forget?" Kanda asked sarcastically as though it was a laughing matter. "It is a nightmare which has haunted me over the years. It is something that I couldn't forget, no matter how I tried to erase it. How can a third party understand the feelings I have for so many years?" Kanda yelled as he turned and stared at him coldly. Jonathan looked at the ground, feeling guilty for what he had done. It was as though he had reopened Kanda's wounds forcefully, one by one. That radiant smile was long gone, replaced by an agonising expression on his pale face. He wondered whether he had done the right thing.

"Are you satisfied?" Kanda finished weakly, before he leaned against the wall, covering his face. The manager slowly got up to his feet as he walked up to him. As he reached out towards him, wanting to chase away his sadness, he stopped. He was the one who dug up his past. He was the one who should disappear from his sight. The blonde slowly redrew his hand, as he turned and walked out of the room.

As the door closed, Kanda revealed his face as he turned to the window and stared at the dull, greyish sky which was about to rain, muttering that particular word which he hadn't said for a very long time - a secret which he had forbid himself to say.

"Mother..."

The raven-haired man did not know why the hell he was here in the early morning, but before he knew it, he was standing at the front doors of the hospital, staring inside the large corridor of the building. Doctors and nurses were rushing all over the place, too busy to notice that he was here. Furthermore, he was wearing a plain shirt with a jacket over his shoulders and a black jeans. Right now, he looked like ordinary people on a random street. Or rather, he did not stand out as much compared to the days when he was working as a model.

Kanda stepped into the hospital, looking around cautiously to check that no one was following him. Not even his manager should find out about this matter, partly because he did not want to lose his pride and ruin his image, and he did not want to listen to his endless lectures about revealing himself in the public for too many times etc.

He slipped some of his raven blue strands behind his ears, making sure that he wasn't noticed by anyone. The raven-haired man paced slowly, looking at the patient rooms which looked exactly similar. He wondered which room that silver-haired teen was staying. Kanda peered at the counter, wondering whether he should ask. People might recognise him instantly by his monotone voice, but there was no choice. He couldn't just call Jonathan and ask either.

Kanda stopped at the counter and just stared at the nurse with a blank expression. The nurse looked up and blinked.

"Yes?" She finally asked after a few seconds of silence.

"Do you know which room the silver-haired teenager, who was warded yesterday, was staying?" He asked. She blinked again and was silent for a moment, seems to be in a daze. He wondered whether she had heard his words. Kanda grunted in slight frustration and was about to repeat himself again when the nurse suddenly replied back.

"Oh, I'm sorry. It's just...I'm slightly surprised that Allen has a friend like you."

Allen? So that was his name.

"He is in room 42. Do you want me to lead you there?" She asked politely.

"No, it's okay. I can go there myself," Kanda answered quickly as he walked off, searching for the room. As he followed the direction signs at the ceiling, he found the room which was just at the corner of the corridor. He cleared his throat as he looked around in suspicion, before he gripped the doorknob and pulled slightly.

"I'm alright. Ah, just a slight concussion. I will be discharged later in the evening. Yeah."

He saw the silver-haired teen sitting up on the bed, chatting on the phone. He looked rather well and good to him. Kanda adjusted his shades as he scoffed, wondering why he was worried for him. It was his very first time getting anxious and guilty over someone. Worse, someone whom was not even an acquaintance to him. But he was...glad that he was alright. At least this lifted him off the heavy guilt that he had to bear if this accident had side effects.

"Don't worry too much about me. Yeah, see you in school tomorrow," Allen said with a smile as he took down the cellphone and put it on the small table at the side of the bed. As he adjusted himself on the bed, he noticed some movements coming from the door. The silver-haired teen looked up, only to see the door opened slightly. No one was there. He blinked in slight bewilderment.

"Is it my imagination?" He wondered.

Kanda stood by the wall, wondering why he was doing this. He sighed as he slipped his hands into the pockets of his jeans, leaning his head against the wall for a moment. He rubbed his face with his hand in frustration, his mind replaying the scene when the accident happened this morning again and again. As he saw how the car hit the silver-haired teen repeatedly, he could vaguely see the shadow of his mother being knocked down many times till he couldn't count anymore.

He turned and was about to leave when the door suddenly opened. Kanda stopped in his tracks, seeing a shadow beside him. As the raven-haired man slowly turned around, he saw Allen standing at the door, staring at him with astonished silver eyes.

"Who...are you?"

A/N: Lol, Kanda is just too nice to come and visit our dear Allen... Well, there is finally progress between the two of them... ^^

This chapter mostly focuses more on Kanda. Slightly emotional, but there will be more of Allen's POV in future chapters! The rest of the canon characters will also be introduced in this story very soon! Stay tuned!

One reviewer asked me whether this story will be focusing on many OCs. Well, there is only one OC at the time being, which is Sally. Tim is the short form for Timothy. So sorry for the confusion! I won't be focusing too much on creating OC in this story.

Please review and tell me what you think! :) Apologies if there is any spellings error or grammar mistake spotted!

Title will be changed from 'Utopia Romance' to 'Utopia' only!

SingingBlues