Erin's his partner and he is meant to have her back. Everything happened so quickly—one moment she was on her feet and next she was bleeding and in his arms. He shakes his head trying not to replay everything. He should have had her back. He could have done something. Deep down he knows it's not his fault and he knows that Erin would tell him there was nothing he could have done and it wasn't his fault.
He has been waiting for an hour or so since they'd arrived at the hospital. It's been rough on him—the whole close friend and flirtation thing didn't help with seeing her like this.
He stands up immediately looking at Dr Alec Willhite for an update, "Hey Alec, what's the update on Erin?"
Alec smiles sympathetically, "we've managed to stop the bleeding and remove the bullet... it was touch and go for a bit but she should be okay…" he sighed, "does she have any family members you'd want to contact?"
Jay takes a deep breath, "I'm her family" he says, "you know that..."
Alec nods knowing the exact feeling of worry and helplessness. He lost his wife to a gunshot wound. He couldn't help but feel sorry for Jay.
"The bullet was lodged in her liver, so we just need to monitor her for the next couple of days…" he pats Jay on the back, "but as I said, we got the bullet out and now she just needs time to recover—she'll be okay…"
Jay nods, "that's okay with me as long as she is alive, okay?" He looks at Alec whispering, "She is everything to me..."
He nods, "You know I'll do everything and anything I can for Erin..."
"Hank, it's Jay. The doctors said she'll be okay. The surgery went smooth but the need to keep her in the ICU to monitor her vitals."
He leaves a message for Voight knowing he's out there literally hunting the perp.
She's been out of surgery for an hour now and Jay still hasn't gone in to see her. Every time he has been in to see someone all wired up—it has been bad news. He doesn't want to see her like that with wires and tubes everywhere—the beeping monitors were already too overwhelming. The doctors say she'll be fine but he just needs her to wake up and tell him herself.
Jay knows that he should be there in her room and he should be supporting her because he made a promise to her: to have her back. Yet he's too afraid to see her be that vulnerable, it's too hard to see her like that.
"Detective Halstead?" Nadia whispers.
He looks up and smiles softly, "Call me Jay..." patting the seat next to him, "what's up?"
She hands him a coffee and a brown paper bag, "I just know she wouldn't want you out here starving yourself..." She sits down next to him, "she'd probably even tell you to go home…"
Jay smirks, nodding in agreement, "hey thanks for this Nadia…" he says, "how are you holding up? I know she means a lot to you…"
"She's Erin Lindsay…" the young girl shrugs, "I just know she'll pull through…"
Jay smiles taking a sip of his coffee, "so you're not the least bit worried?"
Nadia chuckles, "I was terrified when you called the first time but you just know she wouldn't go without a fight…"
He chuckles because that's an accurate description of Erin: stubborn and feisty. "I know–" he looks at her, "hey wanna see her?"
Nadia shook her head, "I gotta head back to the district" she smirks, "but when you do eventually get the courage to go in there, tell her I stopped by?"
He nodded, "of course" he smiles, "and thanks for all this Nadia..."
She smiled in return, "it's what she would have done..."