I don't own Law & Order SVU or it's affiliated characters. If I did... two certain detectives would be together. And we EO fans wouldn't be suffering from the teasing EO moments that we get every other week. Sure, we know they'll end up together and I quote from Mariska Hargitay when I say, "Everyone wants them together. Everyone." I think she's not just talking about herself, I'm pretty sure she means Dick Wolf too. Yet… I mean one minute, you think... hey that was an AWESOME EO eppie, ex. Fault, Infiltrated, Burned, etc... then the week after you get eppies that torture like Underbelly, or Dependent. It is bitter-sweet torture being an EO fan, it is quite the rollercoaster ride. Well, maybe this will help a little, I think that's what fanfic is really all about. Thanks to those who showed an interest in this story, that's why I just had to continue with it. I appreciate all your supportive reviews, this is for you all, okay a little for me too.

The next morning… she could not wait to see him.

Olivia walked into the squad room, it was so hard to try to calm and contain herself…

or that smile which was always threatening to show itself unexpectedly, ever since she found out,

and for the first time in a long time… Olivia Benson … was happy, giddy almost. Just knowing…

what she did… now she'd have to find a way to let Elliot know she knew his secret.

It was way past time that he knew about hers…

Elliot Stabler felt something change in the busy squad room; on some level he knew something was different…
and he usually felt this way only around…

He looked up from his steadily building paperwork. And his breath almost caught in his throat at the sight of her.
Liv. His Liv. She was here, walking towards him, and it wasn't just a dream. It took everything he had in him not
to get up and rush towards her and take her in his arms right then… Just to make sure she was real.

Olivia was amused to see that expression on his face… his surprise at her presence…

It might not have been obvious to anyone who didn't know him. Good thing, she knew him best. She had caught him off-guard…
He seemed frozen for a moment.

She decided to make a simple introduction to break the ice, "Hey there, stranger. Long time no see."

Then she saw it, that smile of his, he recovered pretty quickly, just like she knew he would.

"Liv, You're back." He rose to meet her.

"Yep El, I'm back." She mused.

"How long?"

"How long what?"

"How long have you been back, Olivia?" He questioned.

"A few days, Elliot." She wanted to be honest with him.

"And you didn't call…"

She smiled, "I wanted to call… I figured dropping in would be best. Besides, I didn't know I was missed that much"

Elliot could only think to respond, "You know you were missed."

She replied, "I'm glad I was."

"To prove it… let me be the first to officially welcome you back…" Elliot started.

"Actually, you'd be the fourth… I appeared in court for Novak, I ran into Munch and Fin just outside on their way out on a case."
Olivia informed him.

Elliot chuckled, "Well, it's nice to know… I rank so high on your list of friends. Hey, you can't blame a guy for trying to
welcome back his old partner." He hoped she wouldn't remain 'old' for long.

"Stabler, you top the list." She simply stated.

She glanced at her 'old' desk on purpose, she wanted him to see her do it,

"So, five weeks… you've replaced me…"

Elliot laughed, "You're one-of-a-kind. Benson, No one could replace you." He meant that more than he let on.

"So… you're new partner… What's her name?" She didn't want him to know

she already knew the answer to that question.

"Dani Beck."

"Hum… So where is she? I'd like to meet her."

"Oh, she's talking with Cragen about transferring back… to her old division in Warrants."

"Oh. That's a shame... why would she want to do that? Were you too much for her to handle?" She teased,
yet she was excited to think there might be a chance to get her job back; she might get to work with him again.
She learned the hard way; she wouldn't have it any different.

"I think the cases were too much." Elliot stated.

"I understand that better than most. You kind of have to uh, have the stomach for this…"

He agreed, "Yeah."

Liv continued, "It's a calling of sorts…"

"So, how'd the Feds treat you Olivia?"

"Okay… Just fine. Considering I was on a wild goose chase. I'd have to shoot you if I told you anymore." She smiled.

He laughed, "My piece is on the desk, next to that mess of paperwork. You wouldn't shoot an unarmed man would you?"

She played along and appeared to think on it for a good moment before responding, "This is national security we're
talking about here, but I suppose not."

"You're hair… it's gotten longer now." Elliot noted.

"Oh yeah? You got a problem with long hair?" Olivia joked.

Elliot nervous now replied, "Well... uh no… Actually, I like long hair. It suits you.
I mean, it looks good on you. You look good, Liv."

"Thanks… I like it too." Olivia said as she felt a blush creeping upon her cheeks. Hoping it would make
the redness less obvious, she turned her head to the side; part of her hair followed.

"Wait Liv, is that a mark on the side of your head? Looks like it was bad."

She faced back to him, surprised by how observant he was being of her.

He reached to touch her where he thought he saw an ebbing bruise. He gingerly put his hand on the side of her face.
His fingers were over a bump which was underneath her hair… He frowned.

"What'd they do to you?"

She heard the tinge of anger in his voice. That's not what got her attention.

Suddenly she was finding it harder to breathe; she involuntarily closed her eyes at his touch, as she
uncontrollably tilted her head slightly into his palm… a natural movement.

She'd almost forgot how even a simple touch from him, could make her feel so much,
it stirred up emotions, she had only dreamt about… dreams weren't better than this.

Elliot started to finger through some hair, trying to see how much damage had really been done.
Her reaction to his touch intrigued him, he wondered if he had always had this kind of affect.

"If only I had been there, to protect you…"

She said softly reassuring him, "It's nothing El, just a run in with a cop, while I was undercover." She moved her hand over his.

Suddenly, remembering where she was, with a sigh, she blinked open her eyes, and gently moved his hand away from her face,
she gave a squeeze almost forgetting to let go as she took a step back.

Elliot wouldn't let up, "Tell me where I can find this so-called 'cop'? I don't care what city or state he's in. What's his name?
Badge Number? I'll leave him with more than a bump on the head. Teach him to lay a finger on you."

She smiled at his protectiveness, "Elliot, it's really okay. I can't tell you much about my experience undercover. You know that.
Believe me though, I'm a big girl, I can handle myself."

"Still…"

She laughed, "It's good to know you've worked on those anger issues of yours during my absence."

He laughed too, "Some things never change Liv."

"Good to know, El."

They stood in place for a moment, wondering what would be said next…

"You hung up on me."

"I had to; some members from the group I infiltrated were coming… besides, if I had started talking to you,
I wouldn't have wanted to stop."

"Oh…"

His voice softened, "Liv, you didn't say goodbye."

Olivia smiled knowingly at him, "Are you sure I didn't?"

"I think I would've remembered goodbye."

"El, I'd better go and let you get back to work, maybe we can catch up some more sometime over coffee? Well, it'd be tea for me."

'Is she avoiding the issue?'…

"Umm, I guess I could busy myself … But, I would like to get together. Tea huh? You'll definitely have to tell me more about that.
It just seems like forever since…"

"I know." She stated as she caught him in a hug.

To have her in his arms again, was an overwhelming feeling... he'd missed her hugs, he just missed her.
He didn't fail to notice she was slowly making the transition from hugging him to holding him, who was
he to remind her? He wouldn't let go unless she wanted him to, she could hold him as long as she'd like,
she held him a few seconds longer than she probably should have... before she backed away and released him.

She turned to start to walk out …

He watched her go… he couldn't tear his eyes away…

She looked back over her shoulder to say,

"El, I know some things just don't change… but maybe you really should clean out your desk sometime…
especially that middle drawer…"

She was out the door.

And he was back at his desk.

'Middle drawer? What'd she mean by that? There's only one way to find out.'

He searched underneath the extra paperclips, stapler, and pen holder …

He found a plain white envelope addressed to him, ELLIOT

He traced the letters of his name. How did he miss it until now?

He held it, turned the envelope around and took a breath

He opened the letter it contained and began to read the words:

Dear Elliot,

I'm writing this quickly while I have the chance… I have to leave you again, only this time it's not my choice. I don't want to go. I never wanted to leave you,
even when I went to computer crimes. It's not different this time. There's so much I've been meaning to say to you, sometimes it's just hard to find the words. Ever since that showdown with Gitano, I've been thinking about our partnership, our friendship. We've had to become close to do this job Elliot, I don't think caring about you is a bad thing, I could never think that… You make my life better not worse. Elliot you should know, most days you're what keeps me going here, you help me want to wake up and come to work in the morning, it's the victims too… But, you keep me real, you've kept me sane, you've kept me safe, mainly from myself. You've helped me face my past and you give me hope for my future. Best friends, partners are there for one another. You count on them, they have your back. Many times, many ways… you've gone beyond the call. I realize now, why you said what you said outside that hospital room. I'll never forget those words, at the time, they stung. But Elliot, I get it now, believe me I get it. Because you and this job are about all I have too. Elliot, you may have thought you were trying to put distance between us so you wouldn't lose me, let me say this… You would never, ever have to lose me. If you choose not to lose me, you won't. Yes, it's that simply easy, I choose it to be. You'll hear … I'm working with the Feds… I won't lie to you…. It may be… it probably is dangerous… That's why I'm writing this. I want you to know how I feel about you, in case I don't come back to you …Yes, you're what I'd be coming back to, you're home in so many ways to me. I hope things can be different between us after I get back, I know we may fight a lot, but you'll be surprised to know… I like it when we can just be. When we're in tune, in sync with one another, on the same page. Those times, I cherish… I cherish every minute I spend with you. If you haven't figured it out by now… if you can't read me… Elliot Stabler, I only wish you weren't lying on that hospital bed so I could say this in person… I'm almost tempted to wait… for when I return, if I return… So I can look you in the eyes, so you'll know I mean it… with all my heart. I think though, you know my secret… the one I can't keep any longer cause I'm afraid I'll burst. I don't think I could live with myself if you didn't know. So, let me take the chance to say…

Goodbye (Cause I promise to never leave you without goodbye),

-Liv

P.S.

I love you.