Title: With You Is Where My Heart Belongs

Synopsis: The New Year is fast approaching. Jackson can't stop thinking about Aaron, but he knew he was right to lie to the eighteen year old all those weeks ago. But Aaron isn't coping either. Will they both be able to move on? Will 2011 be better than 2010?

Chapter 2: Things Get Worse

~28th January 2011~
-Hospital-

'We're very happy with your progress Jackson, you've come a long way.'

'Still can't feel my legs though,' Jackson sulked, looking out of the window instead of at the doctor. He was sick of getting patronised. Yes he'd got some movement and sensation back in his arms but he was still dead from the waist down. He was still in a wheelchair and he still needed to be taken care of like a baby.

'Jackson, don't be rude,' Hazel said beside him.

'It's alright,' the doctor said to Hazel. 'It's understandable that patients get frustrated when there's little or no progress between assessments. How are you finding the physio sessions Jackson?'

'Alright I suppose,' Jackson replied.

'Right, we'll see you again for some tests in a couple of weeks and then we'll take it from there. But keep up with the physio.'

'More tests. Great,' Jackson mumbled.

Jackson and Hazel left the doctors office and made their way out of the hospital. They stopped outside, Hazel sat on a bench and took her mobile out of her bag.

'I knew your Dad would be late,' she said to Jackson.

'Give him a chance, it's only just gone four.'

'Are you sure you want to go to your fathers, I can always cancel Bob you know? I don't mind.'

'No, you go. It's not every day he offers to take you out for dinner. Anyway, it'll be nice to spend some time with Josh.'

'Well if you're sure,' Hazel said uncertainly.

'Mum, I'm sure,' Jackson told her with a smile.

Just then they both spotter Jerry pulling up in his car. Hazel hadn't even got the chance to call him and nag him about being late. Jerry got out of the car and walked over to them. He looked at Jackson as he spoke.

'Sorry I'm a bit late, how did the appointment go?'

'Same old speech about carrying on with physio and having more tests.'

'Right, so no more news?'

'No,' Jackson replied quietly.

'Well maybe the next lot of tests will tell us something positive.'

'Maybe,' Jackson said with a sigh. His Mum and Dad were always so 'glass half full' but Jackson didn't want them getting their hopes up. Things might never get better, that was just a fact they had to live with.

'We better get going, I'm parked on a double yellow,' Jerry said.

'I'll see you later then,' Hazel said to Jackson, standing up from the bench.

'Yeah, bye Mum.'

~28th January 2011~
-Bar West-

Aaron arrived at Bar West just after 9pm, with two goals in mind. To get drunk and to get laid. He got himself a beer and sat at the bar for a bit. He recognised a few people now to say hello to so knew he could socialise if he wanted, but in order to look available he needed to be on his own. He took the last gulp of his beer and put the glass down on the bar. He was about to get the attention of the bar maid when someone spoke to him.

'Hi.'

Aaron turned his head to see a guy standing by him. He was pretty good looking, about mid twenties he would have guessed.

'Hi,' Aaron replied.

'Are you here on your own or am I interrupting something?'

'No, I'm on my own.'

'What's your name?'

'Aaron.'

'So Aaron, will you let me buy you a drink?'

'I was always told not to accept things from strangers.'

'Sorry, I should have introduced myself. I'm Lee.'

'Well Lee, I'll have a beer thanks,' Aaron smirked and Lee smiled at him.

An hour and half later Aaron and Lee were still sitting at the bar, chatting. Aaron wasn't really fond of small talk but as long as he knew or felt it was leading to something more, he was prepared to go along with it.

'No boyfriend at the moment then?' Lee asked.

'Would I be here with you if I had?' Aaron retorted, a brief thought of Jackson entering his mind, but he pushed it away.

'I like to double check, you know how some couples are into open relationships?'

'Oh right, well not me,' Aaron replied.

'So,' Lee said, leaning closer to Aaron. 'I know it's a cliche, but your place or mine?'

'Yours,' Aaron smiled.

'Well let's drink up then.'

The answer was always 'Yours' whenever Aaron was asked that question. He'd never invited a guy back to Smithy's, it just didn't feel right. That was the bed he had shared with Jackson, the bed they'd first had sex in, the bed he had spent weeks crying in after Jackson's accident.

Aaron had lost count of the number of one night stands he'd had. It was a helpful distraction and something to do away from the Village. So far he'd never spent longer than a night with another guy. Of course he found each of them somewhat attractive, but so far no sparks, no chemistry, no feelings other than lust.

~28th January 2011~
-Hotton-

It was 11pm and Jackson's Dad was driving him home. He was tired and couldn't wait to get home to his bed. He was staring absently out of the car window when he became aware that the street they were on was very similar. Then he saw ahead of them, Bar West, the pub where he'd had the most amazing nights and the pub where he'd met Aaron nearly a year ago.

'Pull over for a sec Dad.'

'Why?' Jerry asked.

'Please Dad.'

Jerry didn't question his son further and stopped the car. They were on the other side of the road to Bar West, which was still a little ahead of them, but Jackson could clearly see the entrance. He had so many happy memories in that place, especially ones to do with Aaron.

He remembered the first time he ever clapped eyes on Aaron in Bar West. He was at the bar ordering drinks and Aaron was beside him, and of course with any guy he hadn't seen before, he checked him out. He thought Aaron was cute. It wasn't until ten minutes later when Jackson was playing pool with a friend that he clocked Aaron again, sitting alone and constantly looking around him and clearly out of his comfort zone.

He asked Aaron if he wanted to play pool, but the teenager couldn't get away from him fast enough. It was then that he realised Aaron was still in the confused/denial stage of coming out.

Jackson smiled to himself as he reminisced. But then his heart stopped and his stomach dropped. Aaron had just walked out of Bar West, and he wasn't alone. Alongside him was a good looking bloke, not someone he'd seen before and they were laughing about something. Jackson looked on as he witnessed Aaron and his date climb into a taxi and drive off.

'Jackson?'

'Yeah?' Jackson answered his Dad quietly.

'Are you ok?'

'Yeah,' Jackson lied, looking at his Dad and giving him a small fake smile. 'Sorry, we can go now.'

Jackson was grateful that his Dad hadn't seen Aaron, or if he had, kept quiet about it. Half an hour later, as soon as was alone and in his bed, Jackson cried himself to sleep.

~4th February 2011~
-Bar West-

Another Friday night, another night in Bar West. Aaron was on his fifth beer and seriously considering calling it a night. He didn't know why, but he'd been thinking about Jackson a lot the last few days. Maybe because Valentines Day was approaching? But Aaron didn't "do" pathetic things like Valentines Day. He was miserable and he knew it showed. He barely looked up from his pints all evening. Looking at his watch Aaron decided he may as well catch the last bus home which was in twenty minutes.

As Aaron made his way past two guys on the way to the toilet he heard a snippet of conversation that made him stop dead in his tracks and pretend he was interested in the painting on the wall.

'Yeah I spoke to his Mum the other day. Oh what's her name?'

'Hazel.'

'Yeah, she said Jackson still wasn't ready for visitors.'

'It's been months though.'

'I know, I guess he doesn't want his friends to see him so helpless.'

'But locking yourself away and only ever having your Mum for company? I'd be climbing the walls.'

'Funny.'

'Oh shit, well you know what I mean.'

'We can only keep trying, he'll have to give in at some point. Another drink?'

'Yeah go on.'

The two guys walked off to the bar to get their drinks. Aaron could feel his heart rate pounding beneath his chest. They knew Jackson, and they'd been in contact with him, even if it was through Hazel. Aaron didn't recognise either of the guys so knew he'd never been introduced to them by Jackson. Without thinking and abandoning his trip to the toilet, Aaron walked back to the bar and stood next to the guy who'd said he spoke to Hazel.

'Glass of house white and a pint,' the guy said to the barmaid.

Aaron was looking at him and caught his eye. The guy smiled. Aaron smiled back then shyly looked away. As the guy was taking his change a minute later Aaron sneaked another look. The guy was looking at him again, he took a sip of his pint, his eyes never leaving Aaron's. Aaron had to say something, anything. It was now or never. He took a deep breath.

'So I take it the wine's for your boyfriend?' Aaron asked, inwardly cringing at the cheap line.

'No, he's not my boyfriend,' the guy smiled, eyeing up Aaron. He felt embarrassed. 'Can I er, buy you a drink?'

'I'll leave you to it,' his friend said beside him, taking his wine and giving Aaron a wink as he walked off.

'I'll have a pint, ta.'

'Greg.'

'A- Adam,' Aaron replied, almost slipping up on the name. Greg may not know him to look at, but the name Aaron might mean something.

'Why don't you grab a table, I'll be over in a minute,' Greg said.

~5th February 2011~
-Jackson's Home-

Jackson was miserable. He couldn't stop thinking about Aaron, out on the pull, having the time of his life and endless one night stands no doubt. Or maybe the guy he was with was a boyfriend. Last Friday was the first time he'd seen Aaron in over three months and it had shaken him up badly. Nothing seemed to matter anymore, what was the point? The man he was in love with couldn't give a toss and clearly never thought about him much, or at all. He'd even started to think that the Christmas and New Year texts were just a group send to all his contacts, he hadn't referred to him by name or anything. If that was the case Aaron must have thought it a bit weird when Jackson replied.

Jackson sighed, looking at his mobile in his hand. For days now he'd been tempted to send Aaron a text, asking him if he had a good time last Friday, but fortunately he had resisted so far. No matter how much it hurt to know that Aaron was moving on, it really wasn't any of his business. Aaron had a life to lead, that's why Jackson had lied to him back in October, so Aaron could go off and and find someone else, not a cripple in a wheelchair.

Jackson closed his eyes and tried to think of something calming. He thought back to last August and September and smiled sadly as he remembered the last night of their holiday in Lanzarote. It had been one of the best nights of his life.

~13th September 2010~
-Lanzarote-

After going out to dinner and for a stroll along the beach to let their food go down, Aaron and Jackson went to a bar and ordered cocktails. They sat down at a table and both took a sip of their drinks, Jackson had gone for a Sex On The Beach but Aaron had plumped for a local surprise concoction.

'Woah that is so strong,' Aaron said as he screwed his face up. Jackson laughed at him.

'What do you expect from a "surprise" cocktail?' Jackson mocked.

'Shut up,' Aaron smiled.

'So have you had a good holiday?' Jackson asked, briefly placing his hand on Aaron's knee.

'Yeah it's been the best. You?'

'I've had better,' Jackson smirked.

'Oi,' Aaron shouted, lightly hitting Jackson on the arm and they both laughed.

'No, it's been great. Especially the company.'

'And the sex,' Aaron said quietly.

'Why do you always have to lower the tone?' Jackson asked, but he was smiling.

'Because I do. Now shut up and drink your cocktail.'

'You know we still haven't talked,' Jackson said to Aaron after a few sips of his drink.

'About what?' Aaron asked.

'Our living arrangements.'

'Oh right. Are you- You still planning on getting your own place?'

'I guess so, if that's what you want?'

'Well what do you want?'

'I'd rather stay with you, but I know it's awkward for-'

'No, I want you to stay,' Aaron said hurriedly. He meant it too. The thought of Jackson living in town and only seeing him in the evenings and weekends didn't bear thinking about.

'Really?' Jackson smiled.

'Yeah. I like having you around, I like waking up and knowing you're there beside me.'

'Aww how sweet,' Jackson said playfully and Aaron started to look embarrassed, rolling his eyes to the heavens.

'I'll take it back if you ever say that again.'

Jackson leaned forward and kissed Aaron on the lips. Pulling back slightly Jackson looked into Aaron's eyes. He could see the passion dancing in them, he knew tonight was going to end like every other night of the holiday, in bed having sex.

Everything was perfect.

~5th February 2011~
-Jackson's Home-

Jackson heard a key in the front door and opened his eyes, blinking a few times as the light hurt his eyes. Hazel walked into the living room a few seconds later carrying two shopping bags.

'I thought I'd do spag bol tonight, is that alright?'

'I don't care,' Jackson replied.

'I could do something else if you'd prefer?'

'Whatever,' Jackson sighed.

'Did your Dad say anything to upset you last week?' Hazel asked.

'Like what?' Jackson frowned.

'I don't know, but ever since he brought you back you've been in a right funny mood.'

'Have you seen me lately?' Jackson shouted slightly, gesturing to his legs. 'What do you expect me to be doing, cartwheels? Going out on the lash?'

'Jackson, you know it's not productive to sit around feeling sorry for yourself all day. Why don't you invite some friends over?'

'No thanks.'

'Maybe another night then. I'll put the dinner on.'

Hazel went into the kitchen and unloaded the shopping. She then walked up the stairs and put her coat and shoes away in her wardrobe and then sat down on her bed with a sigh. She felt like crying, but she wouldn't. Stay positive, that was Hazel's motto. Her mobile started ringing and she took it out of her trouser pocket. She didn't recognise the number.

'Hello?' she answered. There was silence on the other end of the phone. 'Hello?'

'Please don't hang up,' a voice said quietly.

'Who's this?'

'It's- It's Aaron.'

'Aaron? Blimey, you're the last person I expected to hear from. How did you get my number?'

'Long story. Anyway, how- How's Jackson?'

'He's- He's coping, just about,' Hazel replied. She couldn't believe Aaron had called, he sounded so concerned. She also hated lying to him, but she'd promised Jackson.

'Can I come and see him?'

'I'm not sure if that's a good idea. Jackson's a bit fragile at the moment, mentally I mean. I don't think seeing you would help.'

'Right. I understand.'

'But maybe one day,' Hazel suggested, giving him some hope.

'Thanks. Um, you can say no but would- Would it be alright if I called you now and then to see how Jackaon is?'

'Of course. I'm really pleased to hear from you Aaron. Take care.'

'Yeah bye.'

To be continued.