The Fever - Part 2

Gatih Mijurabi had not been out long when she spotted Rauteinot coming along the rocks toward her. His blue priest's robe could not be mistaken for anything else. She sighed, wondering what he would demean her for now. She took a deep breath, raised her defenses, and resolved that whatever harangue he had planned it would not make any difference to her. She squatted down beside a large tidepool, scanning the shallow water for the snails she needed to brew a certain cough remedy.

Rauteinot sat on the rocks close to her and pulled off his cowl, mopping his brow with it. The afternoon had been a hot one, and though evening was approaching, the heat lingered. "Miss Gatih, I've come to apologize."

"Oh? For what?" she mumbled, trying to sound disinterested.

"You took care of me when I really needed it, and I was ungrateful. I'm ashamed of myself for that."

"You acted like you always do." Her hand pawed through the seawater.

"I know," he groaned, honestly regretful of his behavior. "I've not been very friendly, ever since I came here."

Gatih spotted one of the rosy colored snails she sought, plucked it from the side of the pool, and tossed it into her bucket.

"I want to change all that. I've been so cold towards and judgmental of your people, and there was no reason for it. I let the bitterness in my heart get the best of me."

Gatih suddenly realized that the man wasn't just talking. For once he had something to say, and as far as she could tell it was with full honesty, the honesty of a broken man. Men would keep their feelings or thoughts bottled up inside them for years, even decades, and then when they felt that the right audience had been found, the confessions would suddenly come spilling out. Kazham Fever could break the bottle, scattering memories about here and there. Done voluntarily, the confession came with an uncorking and then a pouring forth of the secrets and sins.

She dried off her hands on her trousers and sat beside him. "You know you don't have to be friendly. We take you as you are."

"And I realize now that I could have done so much better. All these years, no one has cared about me or what I'm doing here." He sounded on the verge of tears. "I hated Kazham and I hated you Mithra and I hated my mission."

"So why did you come here in the first place?"

"The cathedral sent me, but I would have hated anywhere they sent me. I don't know why I haven't killed myself yet, because more than Kazham or the Papsque or the Vicasque or anything I hate myself.

"But you loved Etaunie."

He stiffened in shock, and then the tears welled in his eyes.

"I know. You told me to forget that name." Her tone was apologetic.

Rauteinot buried his face in his folded arms. "I did love her."

"So what happened?"

"I told the Cathedral to send me as far away from San d'Oria as possible. And they did. And I thought that escaping San d'Oria would let me forget everything."

"What were you trying to forget?"

"Her. Etaunie. I was trying to forget her." He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself.

Gatih placed her hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "Who was she?"

"We were kids back in San d'Oria. Neighbors. I was crazy about her. And I would have done anything for her. I was going to be a carpenter like my father, and take over his business eventually with my brother. But she wanted me to be a soldier, and I knew she meant it for the way she always admired the knights. So I signed up with the Temple Knights, and I did well. I earned several promotions fairly quickly and my family was even proud of me too. And then...and then they sent me away on outpost duty, standing guard pointlessly over some flag in a desert. It was supposed to be just for a short time, only a few months, but the relief never came, and we ended up there over a year, until a delegation of War Warlocks came to take our place and hoist their own flag."

"And when you came back...?"

"Yes. She'd found someone else. And I'd been so hopeful. I'd written her letters and told her that when it was over I'd have enough pay to buy us a little house and we could marry. I should have known something was wrong when she stopped writing after a while." His hand balled into an angry fist. "My old drill sergeant even."

Gatih squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. "You held fast to what you were sworn to do."

"So I left the military because I hated what they'd done to me. And I don't know why I joined the church. I was so angry and hurt, I guess I thought maybe I'd find an answer there. But here I am now." He buried his face into his arms again. Maybe I can find some redemption before I mess everything up here."

She linked her arm with his. "You are a man of great perseverance and honor. She was a fool not to wait for you."

Gatih sat quietly with him, saying nothing for a long time. The sun sank toward the horizon and they watched the sky turn from blue to orange. "We should head back. I don't have a light."

"All right," he agreed, not really knowing what he wanted to do.

"Come back to my place. I'll make you some dinner, and I have a bottle of something hidden away. We'll get you good and drunk and you can forget everything for at least a little while."

"I'm not supposed to drink. I took a vow of sobriety and I've not touched anything since."

"I'm guessing that you also took a vow of chastity."

Rauteinot was flustered, and a blush even showed across his face. "Look...I...I didn't realize..."

Gatih interrupted with a peal of laughter. "You didn't do anything but kiss me. You were so weak with the fever you couldn't even sit up."

Rauteinot paused, suddenly realizing that his guilt was the product of his own fears and imagination. "You mean nothing happened?"

She shook her head and began walking back toward Kazham. "Nothing."

He breathed a sigh of relief and followed her back to town.

FFXI and all related concepts, characters, worlds, and events are property of SquareEnix. Original characters and story elements are property of E. Potter, writing under the pen name of Miratete.