Truth and ConseQuences
By Christina and Rocky

Author's Note: Many thanks to our fellow 7.5 writers, especially Seema, for their beta of this story.

Summary: Kathryn Janeway is stuck at StarFleet Academy, attending and giving talks...but when she is given a chance to change ONE thing, just what would she change?

Warning: This story contains violence and other drastic events. Anything that is in a "different alternate universe" is in italics.

Previously on VVS7.5:

"When you finish your leave, I'm going to assign you to the Academy for at least six months. You'll teach some first contact courses and get yourself caught up. At the end of that time, I'll make a decision. In the meantime, I want you to give serious thought as to what you want and whether you can adjust to the hierarchy - and yes, the bureaucracy - again. Starfleet needs good field commanders, Captain, but not mavericks."-
Admiral Jack Hayes to Captain Janeway ( "In The Course Of Justice")

Prologue

Kathryn Janeway gazed at the painting and decided not to say what she really thought. Especially since her sister clearly found it fascinating.

"Look," Phoebe said as she tugged painfully on Kathryn's arm. "It's by Geoffrey Wallace!"

"Ah." Kathryn had no idea who Wallace was, but figured her sister's excitement could only mean he was an artist of some renown.

"Don't give me that blank look, Kathryn," Phoebe said with a hint of impatience in her voice. "Geoffrey Wallace-in addition to being one of the other guest speakers here this evening-was commissioned to paint a series of interpretive works for the Society's main building on Mars."

"Of course," Kathryn said, praying she sounded convincing enough. "How could I have forgotten?"

Phoebe shot her a look worthy of a Starfleet captain, but refrained from saying anything further on the topic. "Thank you for inviting me this evening, Kathryn. Even if your primary motivation was to avoid going solo, since Chakotay is still off-planet. And even if I had to sit through a boring sermon on astronomical phenomena of the Delta Quadrant." She gave her older sister a wicked smile that suddenly changed to one of delight. "Oh, that's Wallace over there now! I'll be right back!"

Phoebe dashed away, before Kathryn could remind her that *she* had been the keynote speaker and it had not been a sermon, but a very well received presentation.

"Captain Janeway!" a somewhat overweight woman called out as she approached. Kathryn stifled a groan when she realized who it was-Mrs. Florence Vanderhosen, the wife of the Vice-Chairman of the Federation Geographical and Astronomical Society. "I see you are admiring our Wallace. He's done a *wonderful* job capturing the *drama* of a supernova..."

Kathryn smiled politely. "Yes, he has," she said diplomatically and glanced again at the painting. The bizarre combination of purple and green didn't come close to capturing anything about a supernova. She had first-hand experience in that department, recalling all too well the day the war in the Q Continuum had caused a series of supernovae to erupt.

But there was no point trying to correct Mrs. Vanderhosen, who prattled on, "Like I always say, Kathryn-you don't mind if I call you Kathryn, do you dear?-There are so few artists who can truly portray the *essence* of a thing while staying true to its *nature*-"

Kathryn bore the lecture stoically, nodding and murmuring at appropriate intervals. Fortunately, that worthy matron was soon distracted by the sight of several more people approaching, including Captain Rodrigo, the Astronomy department chair at the Academy. "Excuse me, Kathryn, I must have a word with dear Captain Rodrigo..." She hurried off in a swirl of chiffon and heavy perfume.

Kathryn drained the last drops in her glass and decided to go for a refill. She certainly needed some sustenance to make it through the rest of the evening. If only Chakotay had been able to be with her tonight. *He* wouldn't have abandoned her to hobnob with some handsome artist, as her sister had done. Unfortunately, a last-minute glitch at the dig site on Sherman's Planet had delayed his arrival by another week. She looked around the room quickly. Phoebe was nowhere to be seen.

Kathryn snagged a glass of champagne off the tray of a passing waiter just as Captain Rodrigo approached her. "Whew!" he muttered. "That woman could talk the legs off an Andorian tika-beast."

"I take it you didn't find Mrs. Vanderhosen's views of celestial phenomena very enlightening?" Kathryn asked, her eyes dancing with amusement.

Rodrigo snorted. "Now your presentation, Captain, that was something." He leaned forward. "Your discoveries in the Delta Quadrant are going to revolutionize astrophysics, in fact, have already begun to do so. We're very fortunate to have you teaching at the Academy this past semester."

"Thank you," Kathryn said. "I'm enjoying the experience."

"Quite a change of pace from commanding a starship, of course," Rodrigo said. "Any chance of making your appointment permanent?"

"That's up to Admiral Hayes," Kathryn replied neutrally.

"I daresay you're eager to return to space," Rodrigo said sagely. "In the meantime, a group of us were discussing the new core curriculum for incoming cadets. Perhaps you would care to join us?"

Kathryn bit back a groan. If there was one thing about her current assignment she really disliked, it was the games of departmental politics that seemed to dominate every gathering. "I really don't feel I'm qualified to offer an opinion," she said, hoping she sounded sufficiently diplomatic. "After all, I haven't been a member of the faculty very long."

"Everyone's entitled to have an opinion!" exclaimed Captain Neustadt of the Physics department. Kathryn hadn't noticed him standing next to Rodrigo. "Even if they're wrong."

Kathryn chuckled along with the other people standing nearby, then resigned herself to participating in the discussion. After a decent interval, she managed to excuse herself.

She'd been quite flattered when the invitation to be the keynote speaker at the Federation Geographic and Astronomical Society Conference had first arrived, and she'd enjoyed putting together and presenting a lecture detailing her work from the Delta Quadrant. But the social part of the evening had turned out to be a real disappointment, to put it mildly. "Deadly bore" didn't even begin to describe it.

There was a crash behind her followed by some angry voices. Apparently someone had plowed into one of the waiters, upsetting several trays. She decided to ignore the situation and find Phoebe. She'd been standing there with a smile plastered on her face for hours, or so it seemed-surely it was time to go home.

"Captain Janeway," said a voice behind her.

Janeway turned quickly. She tried and failed to place the petite woman who stood before her. "I'm sorry, have we met before?"

The woman laughed, a bit too loudly. "No, we haven't. But you knew my sister all right-she served on Voyager." The last words were slurred.

"Michelle, don't," a tall thin man said as he hurried over. "You're drunk." He reached for Michelle's arm, but the woman slapped it away.

"Don't worry, Danny, I just want to have a few words with the Captain here," Michelle insisted. "The hero of the Delta Quadrant, she can take a few minutes to talk to me about my sister."

"Your sister..?" Kathryn asked, confused.

"Lily Ford."

Kathryn stared at the woman. Ford...she racked her brain to match the name to a face. Then she remembered. Ensign Lily Ford had been one of the earliest casualties, dying only a few months after Voyager had first been pulled into the Delta Quadrant.

Michelle grabbed Kathryn's shoulder. "Don't want anyone to know how you murdered my sister, do you?" she shouted. People were starting to turn around and stare.

"Your sister worked in xenobiology. I didn't get a chance to know her very well," Kathryn said quietly, as she extricated herself from the other woman's grasp. "She died in a battle with the Kazon."

"If you hadn't stranded her in that God-forsaken quadrant, she wouldn't have been anywhere near the Kazon," Michelle hissed. "You had no business destroying the only way home. My sister should have been back home, with her family. That's where she belonged. But you killed her, you bitch! It's your fault she's dead!" She lunged at Kathryn.

Danny grabbed Michelle's arms. "Michelle, come on, you're making a scene." Two hotel security personnel arrived to assist. Together they wrestled the woman away, but her screams could still be heard.

"Damn right I am! Starfleet's golden girl-but she killed my sister and I won't let her-or any of you-forget it!"

Kathryn stood frozen in place. She didn't react when someone tapped her gently on the arm.

"Kathryn, what was that about?" Phoebe asked. Her face was full of concern.

"Nothing." The last thing Kathryn wanted to do was talk about it; she just wanted to get away. "Let's go."

Phoebe sighed. "Fine. I won't force you to talk about that crazy woman if you don't want to. But Kath, even before this, you've been moody all evening." Kathryn's lips opened and she was about to deny it when Phoebe added, "And don't tell me it's because you haven't seen Chakotay for two months."

"Phoebe, that has nothing to do with-" Kathryn began.

Phoebe grinned, apparently pleased she'd managed to distract her sister, albeit briefly, "All right, I'll be ready to go in a few minutes. But first I want to say good-bye to Geoff."

Kathryn stared for a moment, before she realized Phoebe was talking about the painter, Wallace. "So, it's Geoff now?"

"Don't get any ideas," Phoebe admonished her. "I'm hoping he'll come to the university next year as a guest artist. I've been trying for months to meet with him. Why else do you think I came to this shindig?"

"Obviously not to hear me speak," Kathryn said but Phoebe was already gone. Kathryn shook her head and started moving toward the door. It was getting too hot and stuffy in the room. She'd wait for Phoebe outside.

She stood outside the exit for several seconds, undecided as to where to go, before turning and heading toward the gardens at the back of the hotel. Michelle Ford's words echoed in her mind. No matter what Kathryn told herself, she had to admit that those accusations-despite being uttered in a drunken rage- weren't entirely unfounded. So many people had died over the years, so many lives lost. Lives that *she* had been responsible for. Kathryn had met Lily Ford exactly once, before Voyager had left Deep Space Nine. The ensign had been one of the first deaths in the Delta Quadrant; unfortunately, there had been many more after her.

Kathryn leaned against a tall pillar and took several deep breaths. Phoebe's comment about her moodiness was surprising-particularly as Kathryn had thought she'd been doing a good job of concealing the sense of uneasiness that had been plaguing her lately. Her dreams during the past week had been full of 'might-have-beens'-what would have happened if only she had done things differently.

She looked up at the stars. "Why?" she asked the Universe. "Why did Voyager have to be stranded out there in the Delta Quadrant? Why did so many have to die?"

"Now that is a very interesting question," a male voice said next to her, making her jump.

"Q?" she said, more than a little shocked. She hadn't seen him for years. "What are you doing here?"

"It has been a while, hasn't it?" he said. He was wearing the gray Starfleet uniform of a captain, she noticed, wondering suddenly why he never wore an admiral's uniform. As if reading her thoughts, he said, "Because captains have more fun than admirals-but I thought you knew that. As to your other question, I'm here because I can be." He winked. "If you want to give up the boyfriend, I could arrange a whirlwind tour of the galaxy. Think of it, my dear sweet Kathy, just you, me and the endless cosmos!"

"No thank you, Q," Kathryn said immediately. "Even if I was interested in giving up Chakotay-which I'm not-you're married, or have you forgotten?"

"Ah yes, the wife." Q didn't look too happy to have the topic brought up. "She's doing well. So is our boy. He's unusually fond of puppies for some reason, though."

"That's good." Kathryn kept her voice even, hoping he would catch the hint and leave. Wishful thinking, she realized, as Q didn't seem eager to depart.

"And I'm rather fond of you, Kathy darling," Q continued as if she hadn't spoken. "You saved the Continuum, helped me produce a child-even if you weren't as directly involved as I'd planned-so I owe you something in return." His grin grew-she immediately thought of the Cheshire Cat from "Alice In Wonderland", but then started worrying why he was here. "At the very least I can do something about the deep unhappiness you're feeling at the moment."

"Who said I'm unhappy?" she parried.

"Stubborn as always, aren't you, my dear?" Q shook his head. "You're feeling melancholy, and you are bored to tears-such a quaint saying-but you are bored. I could hear your boredom all the way into the Continuum. And do I need to add that you are also feeling guilty? Such a useless emotion, but you are. I can change that."

"Thanks for the generous offer, but no thanks. I'll pass."

Q clucked his tongue disapprovingly. "But you haven't heard what it is!"

Janeway had a bad feeling about this-a feeling which grew worse with each passing second. "Q," she said with a sigh, "I am not going to mate with you, travel with you...or anything else with you. Please go away."

He bowed. "Very well, Kathy, if that's what you *really* want, I'll go. However, I just can't leave you feeling this way...there's got to be something I can do..." All at once he stopped. "Of course!"

Before she could say or do anything, he snapped his fingers.