Yeah, that's the first chapter. and I wanted to apologize for the errors present. actually I'm Brazilian and google translator Usso to move the story into English. : (I hope it to understand what I intend to pass you. Emfim, comes to fill the tack. Enjoy and do not forget to tell what you think!
1
(Two years after the prologue.)
I know this is wrong . I know that it's psychopathic how I delude myself and I can not feel bad about it . I do not even know why I still see it, and the main reason for me to accept that kind of relationship with her would be to feel something, and now I feel just being a piece of human garbage .
Effy and Cook stopped coming . I knew that one day cansariam me, and I do not blame them , after all, they already have their own problems to deal with. But I stifled by the lack of the two , especially Effy . I still can not speak, but that does not stop me from going out that night rain . Not prevented me from ending up in a strange club , and drug me longer feel my head . And yet , I felt nothing . There was no point to anything.
Maybe I was anyway , maybe I had become a part of myself rambling , unlike myself . Because no matter how much I feel lack of Mandy , I pushed her away . As much as I wanted to be alone , ended up in bed with Cris . As much as I wanted someone to love me now , was a married woman . As much as I wanted to talk , I could not . And I do not know if I could so soon .
I never asked her to come , and also did not ask her to stay. I do not speak , and she respects that. She talks a lot , and it annoys me .
I left her at home and go out to buy cigarettes , my newest addiction. And to think I 've done talks about not smoking . Hardly knew how to smoke nicotine could bring me so much peace of mind . I know that I have become everything I swore to myself I would not . But I do not care , because nothing I do can hurt me . Not even remorse .
I got to the point of not liking the sun , with all that glow radiating happiness. With all those people laughing around me seem to be mocking me . Rather cloudy and rainy days , where nobody bothers to laugh , or pay attention to me , a shadow stumbling down the sidewalk . In those days , I like to hide in the library . Specifically on the couch near the window where I can smoke and read at the same time , and how far , I can plug my headphones at maximum volume , and still see the view of the rain and the day outside. I do not care if Cris ETA waiting for me or not .
I no longer need to present my card , as I almost live there. I'll walk down the aisle passing a hand over wallpaper red suede . It's a great feeling and distracts me from the eyes of the few people who are here . I'm almost there . 10 more steps .
7 .
4 .
2 .
Wait.
What is that ?