Disclaimer: Pokemon belongs to Nintendo and its creator, Mr. Satoshi, and a few other TV stations, one of which is WB11. Sadly, I own absolutely nothing, except the plot.
A/N: Many dear thanks to my three reviewers! Thanks for taking an interest in this story.
And if you are new, I welcome you to join my insane world! ;)
Here's chapter two. In which Bonnie and Todd get "inducted" into Team Rocket. Well, supposed to, anyway.
Read and enjoy!
Maybe…Next Time
By Moonrabbit
Two: The Tenets of Team Rocket
Number one: Recruit idiots.
Of course, that wasn't actually on the list, but Cassidy had an urge to scribble it on, as she and Butch watched Bonnie and Todd in the fast food restaurant. Bonnie was gnawing the chicken legs as if she had a grudge against it, while Todd was trying to put as many lettuce and tomatoes into his hamburger as possible.
To add to this, they constantly argued with each other about everything from whiskers to shoes. Without swallowing their food, and attracting a lot of attention from the nearby diners.
This would've never happened in Kanto or Johto, where the Rocket Training School sucked all of the bad manners along with quite a few other annoyances, but Giovanni had had only time to establish a minor base before he told his top executives to move their operations there. Jessie and James excluded, mind you.
"Why are we putting up with this?" she wondered aloud, gnashing her French fries. "My mom did not raise me up to be a babysitter. I'm raised to be the champion."
"So am I," Butch said, drinking his soda contentedly. "But we don't always get what we want. Besides, they remind me of us when we were younger."
Cassidy grimaced. "I sure never insulted every single person who crossed my path," she said. "That girl's mouth is as foul as a Muk, and we've only met her for two hours."
"And that kid is as hypocritical as can be," Butch observed. "Tries to put up a tough guy image but doesn't succeed by far. Says girls are cooties but sucks up to that Bonnie so she won't punch him in the mouth."
"And we have to pay for the food!" Cassidy said through gritted teeth. "There is no justice in the world, I say!"
Butch shrugged. "We could have more when we get back to the base," he said.
Cassidy wasn't listening. She threw down her French fries on the floor and stomped her feet. Anger management problems, she was often told, were nothing to be proud of. But she was on fire. "You two!" she shouted, and the whole restaurant went silent. "HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO KEEP ON EATING?"
Todd was adding more lettuce. "I don't know," he said thoughtfully. "Do you have any sesame sauce?"
"FINISH, NOW!" shouted Cassidy.
Bonnie glared at her. She was a lot braver, now that Cassidy returned her Raticate. "Well, if it isn't bad manners!" she said airily. "We're trying to eat here, you know. Mother always said that you should keep quiet when you are enjoying lunch."
Like you and your friend were.
"I AM PAYING FOR IT OUT OF MY OWN POCKET!" shouted Cassidy. "HURRY UP AND FINISH THE STUPID SANDWICH!"
"It's actually a hamburger," Todd informed her. "Granted, I did finish the meat."
"Out of your pocket?" Bonnie said, giggling. "You don't have any pockets."
"She's a strange lady, isn't she?"
Bonnie nodded in agreement, and grinned at Cassidy. "Goodness, lady, you should stop yelling. Don't spoil our appetite!"
Cassidy screwed her fingers into claws, but Butch quickly grabbed her arm. "LET ME AT THEM!" she shouted.
"Remember, we are supposed to recruit new people," Butch warned her.
"I DO NOT CARE AT ALL!"
Bonnie and Todd exchanged a look. "But we do," Bonnie informed her. "Very much so."
"Yeah," Todd complained. "And you still haven't given me my sesame sauce."
The Real Number One: Make it to the base without killing recruits. In other words, make sure said recruits have weird Pokemon.
"Let me see your Pokedex," Cassidy said, having finally survived lunch. "I need to see if you have any Pokemon fit for Team Rocket."
"We already told you our Pokemon," Bonnie muttered.
"Well, we need to see if they are weird enough," Butch said, clapping a hand over Cassidy's mouth so she wouldn't start screaming.
"Weird Pokemon?" Bonnie sad thoughtfully. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Poison types are usually our favorite," Cassidy said, "but dark and fighting types work as well. Sometimes, we take ghost and normal types, if they look scary enough."
"In fact, if your Pokemon's more scary than our female executives, you're all set," Butch muttered.
"I have a Poochyena!" Todd said proudly.
"We know," the other three chorused.
"Oh. Just thought I'd mention that," said Todd. "And I have a Skitty."
He released his Poochyena and his Skitty, and the two of them began to prance around on the path to the Rocket base.
"And I have the three Pokemon I told you about," Bonnie said, letting her Bulbasaur, Wingull, and Zigzagoon out. "Although I won't say no if you give me a Mudkip or a Rayquaza."
"A Rayquaza," repeated Cassidy, looking disgusted.
"Why not a Rayquaza?" Bonnie said. "Oh yes, by the way, you must really stink at Pokemon while you were at the academy."
"Excuse me?" Cassidy stared at her. "What was that?"
"You need a Pokedex to see the Pokemon's data!" Todd said, wrinkling his nose. "That's so…inexperienced!"
Butch clapped his hand over Cassidy's mouth again. "Well, let me see," he said thoughtfully. "Poochyena is definitely good, and Skitty…well…it should work. Reverse psychology, almost. Nobody would think that a Skitty could steal anything."
Bonnie humphed.
"As for you," Butch continued, "the Zigzagoon and the Wingull will make a great team. And it is good that Bulbasaur happens to be part poison."
"Yep, my Bulbasaur is the best," Bonnie boasted. "I've had it since I was…little."
Cassidy pried Butch's hand off her mouth. "You kids are useless," she declared angrily. "When I joined, I had my Houndour and my Rattata!"
"You have a Houndoom!" Bonnie squealed. "That is so neat!"
"Actually, it hasn't evolved," Butch snickered.
Number Two: If you don't have a real base to speak of, try not to get annoyed at the recruits.
"It's a cottage?"
Cassidy and Butch sighed in annoyance at the two kids' apparently shock. As if they didn't know how hard it was to pay the rent these days. Certainly they would understand they were too broke to get an almost-decent house!
But of course, kids would be kids. They never did understand.
"It's our temporary base," Cassidy said, crossing her arms and trying to look authoritative. "We have a better base…er…elsewhere. Near…um…Lilycove."
Yeah, they did have a "base". Team Magma abandoned it a few months ago because of the termites problem, but Cassidy and Butch preferred not to talk about that.
"You said it was an organization," said the girl with the blonde pigtails. "But I don't see anyone else around beside him, you, and him." She whirled on the boy, who looked terrified. Chicken, Cassidy thought. "And where's that Maxine girl you're so afraid of? Where's she? Is she the Raticate or something?"
"No, she's a brat we tried to recruit outside Verdanturf," Butch said, before Cassidy could stop him. "We didn't know she had such a strong Torkoal."
"So basically, the whole Team Rocket includes two people," said Bonnie, frowning. "And him. So you two are the two people I see blasting off to outer space every time I look out the win—"
"No, that will be Jessie and James, and their membership should have expired a long time ago if they weren't too stupid to realize it," said Cassidy, deeply insulted. "And our main base is in Johto and Kanto. We have more people than you could've ever imagined, you got that? So shut that filthy mouth of yours, and listen to me. I'm the boss here."
"But you guys had a base when you recruited me!" Todd cried. "I sat in a hotel room and drank coffee."
"There we have it," Butch said. "That was a hotel room."
"The coffee tasted nasty," Todd mumbled.
"Enough. Cottage. Here. Got that?" Cassidy snapped.
Todd and Bonnie looked at each other, and both of them groaned.
"Okay, how about we introduce ourselves? I still don't know your names," Butch said.
"That's because you lack a good brain," Bonnie said.
"Gotta agree with that, " chorused Cassidy and Todd.
"Well, anyway, just to sound a tad formal," Cassidy said. "His name is Botch. My name is Cassidy. What's your full name?"
"Bonnie," Bonnie said. "Or Bonita, or Banatito, or Bandit."
"No last name?" Butch said, raising his eyebrow.
"I don't like to talk about it," Bonnie said importantly.
"And we don't like to hear about it either," Cassidy said. "Forget that. Onto Todd. Introduce yourself again, just in case Bonnie's too dumb."
"And I'm Todd Something," Todd said.
"Interesting." Butch tried to remember Todd's real last name. "Never mind. Onto the next part, Cass."
"Now, you two are going to be partners in crimes…"
"But how is she going to be my partner?" Todd demanded. "I've been in training longer than her. She should be my trainee."
"By a month," Cassidy pointed out. "Which was an experimental month, mind you. You were supposed to complete two assignments, but as you've completed neither—"
"We can't do much with two people, however," Butch mused.
"Well, now we've got four," Cassidy barked, whacking him on the head with her handbag. "So drop it, or you'll end up like Jessie and James, I guarantee you that. Now." She turned back to the two kids, with Bonnie interestedly watching them fight—haven't she ever seen adults fight?—and Todd who was both impatient and slightly embarrassed. "First things first. I realize you two have to look like Team Rocket to be Team Rocket—er, I mean, Pokemon masters."
Bonnie looked at Todd, who glared back at her defiantly. "He's too skinny," she said, "and his skin is way too pale. He looks like a chicken."
"She's too dark," Todd said, "and her hair is too tangled up. She looks like…a…a scarlet woman!"
"I am not red. Besides, my hair isn't too tangled. I braided them myself. At least I can actually braid my hair, you bald idiot!"
"I have hair! And they are nicer than yours. Who wants yellow hair?"
"WHO WANTS ORANGE HAIR?"
"That will be enough!" Cassidy barked again. How was she ever going to make this work? But the hair did give her an idea of where to start. "Hmm, Todd, your hair's fine, once I cut it a bit shorter," she said, hoping her skills as a barber was ample. "As for you, Bonnie, your hair…should look—"
"Not like yours," said Bonnie. "Yours look too weird."
Cassidy bristled. "I'll have you know that it's a treasured tradition of Team Rocket TO HAVE WEIRD HAIR!"
"But my hair is still not going to look like that," Bonnie said stubbornly.
"Fine, be like that," Cassidy said. "And when our big important Boss with a capital 'B' doesn't think you look quite as beautiful as me—"
"Ugh. Beauty are for sissies," both Bonnie and Todd said together.
Cassidy worked very hard to control her anger. She would've liked to just fire the two of them. Like…like that. But she figured she might as well go through with it, since she'd probably lost a few months of her life dealing with those unruly kids already. "You," she said, after she was sure she wouldn't breathe fire, "are going to put on your uniform, brush your hair, and then—"
"Uniforms?" Todd said. "I went to a private school. We had neat uniform. Jackets and trousers and everything."
"In the Academy, we could wear anything we want," Bonnie boasted.
"Luckily, your uniforms will look just like ours," Butch said. "Black shirt. Red 'R'. Boots. Gloves—"
"I want blue ones!" Bonnie piped up.
"I want…black," said Todd.
"We only have white," Cassidy said.
"That will go up to your armpits," Butch muttered, and Cassidy hoped the kids didn't catch that.
They didn't.
"I guess that'll be okay," Bonnie said, "but they'll get dirty easily. I like to play in the dirt."
"I thought mud pies were for toddlers," Butch said thoughtfully.
"Not mud pies," Bonnie said. "Mud berries."
"In any case," Cassidy hurried on, "when you've come out, we will go to the…nearest videophone, and call your new Boss."
"Is he a gym leader?" Todd said. "Is he a cool champion?"
"He was a gym leader," Butch said.
"So he blew up the gym," Bonnie said, looking pleased she'd figured everything out.
"But he's not the champion—"
"Even if he were," boasted Todd, "I would beat him, no problem! I mean, after I get through the Rocket training academy."
"We…don't have an academy, not here," Cassidy said. "And we aren't going to ship you to Kanto. So you'll have to do, um, fieldwork and experimentations."
"Oh," Todd said.
"Where was I?" Cassidy whispered to Butch.
"The Bragging About Boss part," Butch reminded her.
"Oh, of course," Cassidy said. "And he'll be pleased, and maybe he'll figure out someway of erecting a building here."
"Okay," Bonnie said. "So we can keep our hair?"
"Let's see how it works out," Butch said quickly, before another Hair Argument erupted.
"Okay," Bonnie said again. "I want my uniform now."
Cassidy sighed, feeling sweat on her forehead. She was sure she wasn't this difficult when she was around nine or ten.
Number Three: Recruits usually have best taste when picking outfits.
"Yuck."
"For once, you're right."
Bonnie and Todd stood outside the fitting room in the mall, wrinkling their noses. Bonnie's shirt hung to her knees, and her skirt to her calves, which ruined the whole boots effect. Of course, the boots were way too large, and made her look very disoriented.
As for Todd, he had to roll the pants up several times, which made his ankles look extremely bulky. His shirt was not only larger—after all, Team Rocket women liked to show off their belly rings—but also much fatter. More like a poncho than anything else. Needless to say, the boots simply could not fit, like Bonnie's.
"We've got a problem," Cassidy commented, when Bonnie and Todd began giggling and teasing outside. "They look hopelessly hideous."
"You should've thought of that when we recruited them," Butch said, ill-mannered. "You should've gotten shrunken it a few times in the wash."
"Which will cost money. But then again, I doubt you ever do laundry."
Butch studied the two. "No, we can't. No amount of shrinking can shrink it that much. We need to get new ones."
"Which means money," Cassidy said, rolling her eyes.
"Once the Boss sees this, maybe he'll wire us some," Butch suggested.
"Meanwhile, where are the kids?"
For Bonnie and Todd had disappeared, Bonnie leaving the boots on the floor. Cassidy wrinkled her nose at the smell that only mothballs and must could provide. After all, Team Rocket uniforms tend to get outdated very soon, so the ones that were never used were just jammed in a closet.
Frowning, Butch and Cassidy disregarded the uniforms and began 'radar-ing' for the kids.
They weren't hard to spot, really. The two had a tendency to get into an argument about everything. A loud argument was taking place far away, and shoppers were turning around to find out who the commotion was coming from. Needless to say, the two Rockets could hardly miss the huge crowd that was forming.
Cassidy slapped her palm on her face. "I'm not dealing with this," she said. "I never liked babysitting. This is ridiculous."
"Me neither, especially when you can't sit on them," Butch agreed.
The two of them reluctantly began to approach the crowd, and were nearly blown back by the sheer volume of their voices.
"I THINK BLUE IS PRETTIER! YOU HAVE TO GET A BLUE SHIRT!"
"PRETTY IS FOR GIRLS! BLACK IS WAY BETTER!"
"NO IT ISN'T!"
"YES IT IS! YOU STUPID!"
"Goodness," a shopper remarked, turning to Cassidy. "These kids have absolutely no manners!"
"Trust us, we are doing this for charity," Butch said dryly, parting the crowd.
"You know, I do believe black is better," Cassidy said to the two kids, who began perusing through the other colors.
"On them? Nothing," Butch said, as they finally decided on navy.
The shoppers dispersed when the kids quieted down and began to raid the store. After five minutes, Bonnie ran into one dressing room with an armload of navy clothes and Todd ran into another with his own pile. Cassidy and Butch exchanged a look.
Another five minutes later, they came out. "How does this look?" they cried.
Cassidy, who was chewing some minty gum, looked and…choked, and Butch had to punch her in the stomach. "Awful," she spluttered, ogling at the clothes. "Absolutely Awful."
"Splendid," Butch said sarcastically.
They were both wearing dark jeans and navy sweatshirts with navy socks poking out from the pants bottoms. Butch had to admit that they looked like overly immature teen stars, but the combination did look very comfortable and fashionable.
"We're not going for fashion here," Cassidy said, reading his mind. "They have to suffer the same pains as us. I have to wear miniskirts in winter!"
Butch thought for a moment. "Agreed," he said, shrugging. "But you try telling them that."
"All right. Go get a miniskirt, Bonnie," Cassidy said. "And it has to be shorter than your knees. The shirt can stay. You can keep your navy theme if you want. By the way, get heeled boots."
"But skirts are annoying," Bonnie complained.
"Shorts, then," Cassidy conceded quickly, looking sick of the whole thing. "You too, Todd. You have to go get shorts or something. And you have to get something that isn't jeans. It doesn't look very good on you. Oh yeah, the boots go for you too. White ones preferably."
"Definitely no leather," Butch warned, feeling that he could not put up with preteen strippers.
"And nothing that's too bulky, or we can't steal them. We don't have credit cards or anything."
Bonnie frowned. "Hmm," she said. "I think he looks ugly in anything anyway, so you can just keep the old uniform for him."
"Ugly equals manliness," Todd informed her.
"Oh," Bonnie said, and frowned even more, as she began heading back into the girls' section of the store. "Well, then you should wear skirts. That way, you look ugly AND unmanly."
Number Four: Thinking up a motto isn't always the easiest thing.
"A motto!" Bonnie cried. "I love mottos. When my sisters do contests, they always make me say their mottos. Do you want to hear them?"
"No," Cassidy said.
Bonnie shrugged. "I wasn't going to tell you anyway," she said snidely. "You are too stupid to understand them."
Todd started giggling, and it took Cassidy much effort to keep her temper in check. It was finally Butch who managed to keep the ball rolling. "So," he said, looking at the two "smartly" dressed recruits in front of him, and trying not to go into hysterics. Cassidy wasn't not going to give her children an easy time, if she ever decided to have any. "Ahem. We need to do one final thing. You need a motto."
"You said that," Bonnie said.
"Okay, then give us your motto," Butch answered.
"How?"
"Here's a handbook," Cassidy said, taking out a thick book from her pocket. "It holds many rhymes that we use. After a while, we change our motto just to seem more professional. Butch and I just got a new one in honor of being here, but our old one is there."
"Give us yours," Todd said. "The new one, I mean."
Cassidy and Butch grinned at each other. "You ready, Cass?" Butch said.
"Ready."
Meanwhile, Bonnie and Todd had opened up the motto guidelines and began to peruse through the list of rhymes they must use.
"This time, my Drowsee gets to say his name at the end," Cassidy informed Butch.
"What? I thought we agreed that it's my Hitmontop's turn to say something."
Cassidy glared at him. "Fine, fine," she said. "Let's stick with my Raticate. Jessie and James always use that stupid Meowth."
"Until that blue thing began popping up occasionally," Butch said. "Are you kids listening?"
"Sure, sure," Bonnie said. "Go ahead, old man."
"To dance in the streets of the new nation," Cassidy began.
"To unite people in our demonstration," Butch went on.
"To sing and praise the meanings of love."
"To kick and disregard the flight of planes above."
"Cassidy!"
"Butch!"
"RATICATE!"
"EEEK!"
"Well, that wasn't part of it," Cassidy observed, when the Raticate began to pounce on Bonnie. "Still, it's quite amusing."
"Yeah," Butch said. "But you better return it. I think we can still be filed for child abuse."
Cassidy sighed. "Fine, fine," she said. "Return, Raticate. Well, you two. Have you guys decided?"
"Your motto really sucks," Bonnie said.
"Careful, or I'll set the rat on you," Cassidy said.
"But sing and praise love? Eww!" Bonnie said defiantly, although she took a few steps back.
Cassidy looked at Butch.
"You know, she's right, for once," Todd said slowly. "Love? Planes? Stupid!"
"Well, let's see you do better," Cassidy barked. "Go on."
Bonnie and Todd looked at each other. "Okay," Bonnie said, flipping her pigtails over her back. "Ahem."
To graffiti the streets of this stupid nation,
To trample the people in our demonstration,
To stick our tongues at the sound of love,
To try and steal the bananas from the trees above,
Bonnie!
Todd!
…
"Um, the Pokemon part," Butch said, and wished he didn't say that.
There were five bursts of light, and then together… "BULBASAUR! WINGULL! SKITTY! POOCHYENA! ZIGZAGOOON!"
"Atrocious," Cassidy groaned. "Honestly. Pick one of them."
It was her turn to wish that she didn't say something.
"Definitely my Bulbasaur!" Bonnie said, hugging her Pokemon to her chest. "It's the coolest!"
"Poochyena is!" Todd looked around. "Even…even Stripes!"
"Wingull!"
"No, Poochyena!"
"Zigzagoon! I have more Pokemon! I win!"
"Oh yeah? How about I challenge you to a battle? The last Pokemon that remains standing is our motto Pokemon!"
Bonnie grinned, as her Pokemon gathered at her side. "Oh yeah?" she said, sneering at poor mewing Stripes. "Let's get on with it!"
"Hey, maybe they'll kill each other," Cassidy said hopefully, as Bonnie chose Wingull as her first choice, while returning her Bulbasaur and Zigzagoon.
"Nah," Butch said, as Todd enlarged his empty Pokeball to return Stripes for later. "Not after all the money we've spent on them."
A/N: I poked a little at Team Rocket here, but it's playful and means no real offense. So ).
Who will win the battle? Who do you think? I'm rather curious. P
Please review! The battle will be extra exciting, with 3 on 2! And we'll get to see how Giovanni, Jessie, James, and Meowth take the news of Bonnie and Todd? Push the button, pretty please?
-MR