"Don't worry," Mike snickered, "I'm sure they'll think you're just "all tied up" right now.
Mike and Mark chuckled at their little pun and got an extra kick out of their captive's reaction, muffphing through her gag and vigorously straining against her bonds.
However, this got boring fast. As they returned to the TV, a new problem presented itself. "Uhh," whined Trooper McCoy, "we're out of Cobra Cola and Rattlers (The number one Cobra Brand potato chip)."
"That's alright," proffered Trooper Miller, "I've got more in the Hydrofoil. I can get some and be back in twenty minutes before the halftime show is over."
"Oh no," argued McCoy. "I'm not letting you go by yourself. You'll eat'em all before you get back. I'm coming with you."
"But what about her?" Mark said in exasperation, pointing a finger at the tied up Cover Girl. "Who's going to guard her?'
"She's tied up!" rebutted Mike. "She isn't going anywhere!" They both stared at Cover Girl who all this time was exerting herself immensely but without visible success. "Fine," conceded Mark. "Let's go." The two Cobra troopers grabbed their guns and left the warehouse, making sure to padlock the door on the way out.
Cover Girl couldn't believe her good fortune. Those two Cobra lunkheads had just left her by herself. "Don't start patting yourself on the shoulder," thought Cover Girl. "Not that I could anyway." The captured Joe realized there was no way she could free herself in twenty minutes. She was examining her options when she spied another stroke of luck. In their junk food driven haste, her captors had left her wristcom lying on the table.
"All I have to do," Cover Girl told herself, "is jockey my chair over to that table." She figured the distance from her spot to the card table at about 40 feet. The distance was doable but there were several factors against her. The chair holding her was solid oak and fairly heavy. The ropes tying her down to the seat would make it difficult for her to lift her weight off the chair and jockey it over. Lastly, her ankles had not only been tied together but the ends had been lashed to the chair legs.
"Come on girl, who said it would be easy," the Joe told herself. Painstakingly, Cover Girl moved the chair foot by foot. In no time, she was drenched in sweat, her gag-muffled grunts punctuating each advance. Closer and closer. Until at last, success!
"Did it," Cover Girl congratulated herself. The effort had drained her. She took a moment to regain her strength. Then, she laboriously pivoted her chair around, the chair scraping loudly on the floor, so that her back was to the table. Now, she could grab her wristcom with her bound hands.
Cover Girl knew she couldn't call for help by speaking unless Shipwreck could understand "Melp Be! Mm ull ied ep!" But her wristcom had a silent homing beacon she could activate at the touch of a button. Once this was done, she carefully returned her wristcom to the same spot (not that she suspected the two stooges would notice but why take the chance) and started back to her old location. She made it back just as she heard the padlock on the door being unlocked.
"Hurry up," Trooper McCoy exhorted his partner. "Half-Time is almost over."
"Hold your horses," Trooper Morris responded. "See," he said, gesturing to the television, "we just made it back in the nick of time." Indeed, the Adders and the Pythons had just returned to the field, ready to start the second half.
The two Cobras laid their bag of goodies heavily on the table and plopped into their chairs, turning up the volume on the TV.
"Hey, Little Miss Joe, did you miss us?" asked Trooper Morris sarcastically while loudly ripping open a bag of Rattlers. If the Cobra troopers' attention hadn't been completely on the game he might have wondered why the captive Joe was all sweaty and out of breath.
Cover Girl counted herself lucky that the Cobras were so intent on the game. In fact, she half wondered why she went to all of the trouble to reposition her wristcom on the table when they hadn't even bothered to look at it upon their return. Cover Girl had done all she could and now could only wait.
In was well into the third quarter of the game, with the Pythons up by seven, when Cover Girl noticed a familiar face looking through one of the warehouse windows.
"Shipwreck," Cover Girl told herself with relief. The two Cobras had their backs to the window but Cover Girl could see just fine. Shipwreck was motioning to Cover Girl with his hands while Polly was circling over his head.
A few minutes later, Shipwreck had the window unlatched and began to quietly drop down through it head first. Just as he was half way through, he slipped, dropping down onto a pile of cardboard boxes loudly.
"Hey, what the…?" exclaimed Trooper Morris, spotting the Joe sprawled amidst the now crumpled stack of boxes.
Both Cobra troopers quickly gathered their guns and rushed to where Shipwreck had fallen.
"Lookee what we got here," snickered Trooper McCoy, training his rifle on Shipwreck. "These Joes keep popping up like daisies."
"I wouldn't be so cocky, boys," replied the sailor calmly. "I've got you right where I want you."
"Is that right," responded Trooper Morris coolly.
"Yeah," Shipwreck answered. "Polly, attack."
"Who's Polly," asked Trooper McCoy, "your dog?'
"No, my bird," replied the Joe.
The Two Cobra Troopers broke out in laughter.
"His bird, he says," stated Morris.
"I'll show him…hey what the…!" began McCoy before he was viciously pecked at by one irate parrot. Polly was swooping down on the two Cobras, his lightening attacks too quick for the Cobras to respond to.
While the two Cobras were wildly flapping their arms, Shipwreck took the opportunity to pick himself up and charge. He knocked the gun out of the closest Cobra and landed a haymaker which sent the goon flying into the same stack of cardboard boxes Shipwreck had just come out of.
The other Cobra forgot about the bird and tried to level his rifle at the Joe but Shipwreck ducked under and delivered a devastating uppercut that
K-Oed the creep.
The villains dispatched, Shipwreck turned towards Cover Girl and took a gallant bow.
"My hero," thought Cover Girl beaming.
"Well, CG, your knight has arrived," Shipwreck pronounced. "I would have been here sooner but Polly, uhh…" he didn't get a chance to finish as he was clobbered from behind by the butt of Trooper McCoy's laser rifle.
"Shipwreck!" Cover Girl shouted through her gag.
As Shipwreck swooned to the ground, Polly dove at McCoy, his claws bared. But before the loyal parrot could connect, he was swooped inside a heavy canvas sack by Trooper Morris.
"Thanks for the save," McCoy offered to his teammate.
"No prob," responded Morris, tightening the sack and hanging it from a hook and chain, conveniently placed directly over the Cobra's head.
"What do we do with Gilbert and Sullivan here," inquired Mike.
"Let's tie him up beside his girlfriend," snickered Mark.
The two Cobra troopers proceeded to pull up a chair next to Cover Girl, who was furiously struggling again now that her means of rescue had been so cruelly snatched away from her. Shipwreck was hoisted onto McCoy's shoulders and unceremoniously dumped into the hard wooden chair. Meanwhile, Morris had obtained a small quantity of rope.
"Here you go," prompted Morris, handing his partner half the rope. They then proceeded to tie the Joe up in a very hasty fashion. Shipwreck's hands were drawn together in front of him and bound together. While Morris was doing this, McCoy was tying the sailor's feet together. Lastly, a few ropes were wrapped around Shipwreck's chest and fastened to the chair.
Trooper McCoy had produced a long oily rag and had it stretched between his hands as he approached the unconscious Joe when Trooper Morris shook his head.
"There's no need for that," stated Morris. "He's a guy. Isn't that right, toots?"
"Mou're mig!" Cover Girl uttered in gagspeak. She couldn't believe how chauvinistic these Cobras were! The unfairness of it all was unbelievable!
Mark and Mike laughed and turned their attention back to their sports game on TV and their snacks.
Soon after, Cover Girl turned her head, responding to a soft moan coming from beside her.
"What, what happened?" asked Shipwreck. "Great," he summarized, after processing everything that had occurred up to that moment.
"Mell, mat meast mou marn't magged," Cover Girl commented to him.
"Sorry CG, can you speak more clearly," Shipwreck replied, unfazed. He tested his bonds perfunctorily. "Oh well, I guess I'm not getting out of these ropes," he concluded rather quickly. "Hey, guys! Is that the Cobra Bowl?"
"Yeah, what of it?" responded Trooper McCoy testily.
"I got twenty bucks down on the Pythons, answered Shipwreck. "What's the score?"
"Geez. First you, now this guy," uttered McCoy.
"Pythons leading 21 to 14 with ten minutes left in the fourth quarter," Trooper Morris answered, happy to have another Pythons fan present.
"Oh yeah" Shipwreck replied. "The Adders are such losers."
"Hey, wait a minute!" McCoy rebutted, rushing to his team's defense. "There's still plenty of time left and the Adders have won three fourths of their games with less than five minutes left."
"Want to make a little wager on that," Shipwreck suggested.
"Yeah, perhaps I do," McCoy responded. "How about another twenty bucks."
"You're on," Shipwreck declared. "Lemme get to my wallet. Oh, yeah, I'm rather tied up" He chuckled good-naturedly.
The two Cobra troopers joined him in the laugh. "That's alright," offered McCoy. "Your wallet's right here, along with your wristcom of course." He lifted Shipwreck's wallet off the table to show him.
"Great. Go ahead and pull out twenty dollars," instructed Shipwreck.
"Okay," replied McCoy. "Hey Mark, why don't we move him over here so he can watch the game with us."
"Sure, why not," Morris agreed. The two Cobras got up and each took one side of Shipwreck's chair. They lifted it and Shipwreck over to the table, pushing aside their chairs to make room.
"Hey, want a Cobra Cola?" Trooper McCoy asked his new best buddy.
"Sure," answered Shipwreck. McCoy popped open a fresh can and held it to the Joe's mouth for a couple moments.
"That hit the spot," Shipwreck answered with a satisfying ahh.
Cover Girl couldn't believe it! They hadn't asked her if she wanted to watch their stupid sports game. And she wouldn't have minded having a Cobra Cola too. After all, wasn't she thirsty too? In fact, she had more of a right to that Cola then Shipwreck since she had actually been trying to get out of her ropes! And she was the one that those Cobra meatheads had spent all their rope on!
Men! They stuck up for one another even when they were on opposite sides of a conflict. The Cobras treated Shipwreck like one of the guys but all she got was snide jokes told while leering at her, roped up in her swimsuit, struggling to free herself. Oh how she was so mad!
Cover Girl vented her anger by straining against her ropes with a renewed energy. She could hear the ropes actually creaking as the rope strands stretched and pulled taut with her efforts. The scratchy hempen strands bit into the nylon/lycra fabric of her Speedo. Her face scrunched in a grimace of determination as she continued to strain. However, the ropes remained steadfast and firm. Next, she focused on vigorously tugging and squirming in the hopes of slipping her bonds even a fraction of an inch. This continued for another few minutes, after which the ropes still constricted her in a close-fitted, iron-vise grip. Sadly, Cover Girl was forced to concede and ceased her struggle. She had to accept that her captors had used good strong rope on her and that, unlike their slipshod work on Shipwreck, they had secured her with absolutely thorough attention.
"Hey, looks like your girlfriend is none too happy," snickered Trooper Morris to Shipwreck.
"You know women," Shipwreck confided to Trooper Morris. "They hate football." All three guys had a good chuckle at this.
"Ohh, when we get out of this Shipwreck, you're in sooo much trouble!" Cover Girl thought menacingly.
"Alright!' exclaimed Shipwreck and Trooper Morris simultaneously, high-fiving each other. The Pythons had defeated the Adders 28 to 27 to win the Cobra Bowl.
"Pay up," Shipwreck demanded of Trooper McCoy.
"Yeah, yeah," McCoy responded sullenly. He very reluctantly added twenty dollars to Shipwreck's twenty and returned the money to Shipwreck's wallet.
"We got to do this again," offered Morris. "Of course, that's if your girlfriend will let you."
"Hey, if not, you could always kidnap her and tie her up again!" Shipwreck suggested.
Their laughter was cut short by an annoying brrring. The two Cobra troopers answered their Cobra-comms simultaneously.
"Hey Baroness, what's up?"
Even Cover Girl could hear the strident string of expletives that exploded on the other end, forcing the two troopers to take their Cobra-comms away from their ears.
"I mean, reporting in, Sir! Ma'am!" Morris restated swiftly.
Cover Girl watched as the troopers explained the situation, which was followed by more expletives on the other end. Then there was a long silence, as the Baroness was relaying instructions (Or so Cover Girl figured), punctuated by a "Yes Ma'am!" from the troopers now and then.
After a few more minutes, the two Cobra troopers snapped their Cobra-comms closed and turned their attention back to the captive Joes.
"Well, looks like we got to go," Trooper Morris told the captive Joes reluctantly.
Slowly, he rummaged through a satchel and pulled out a metal device. It had a timer secured to several long cylinders. Cover Girl didn't need to be a rocket scientist to realize it was a bomb.
"Hey, come on now guys," Shipwreck reacted.
"Sorry, Joes," Trooper Morris responded with obvious regret. "But orders are orders. With that, he placed the bomb on the table and set the timer for thirty minutes.
"Come on," McCoy gestured at Morris. "The Baroness wants us at the staging area in an hour. We got to get to the Hydrofoil at the end of Pier 14 by 5:30."
With that, Cobra troopers Morris and McCoy, packed up and took their leave, locking the warehouse door behind them.
"Don't worry, Cover Girl. I'll rescue you," Shipwreck declared heroically. He made a show of straining against his not too terribly tight bonds.
"We're doomed!" he uttered just a few seconds later, having obviously giving up any hope of getting out of his bonds in the foreseeable future.
"Oh brother," thought Cover Girl, rolling her eyes in exasperation. "Looks like it's up to me, as usual."
Cover Girl concentrated on just getting her hands free. She realized that her mistake in the past was trying to undo all her ropes all at once. If she was to succeed, she needed to focus on one small thing at a time.
The Joe twisted her hands within their ropes. The ropes didn't loosen but it allowed her fingers to reach the knots securing them. The knots were especially difficult. Feeling them with her fingers, she guessed they must be quadruple constrictor knots with a triple fisherman's bend or two thrown in for good measure.
"Of all the Cobras to tie me up, I get a couple of Eagle Scouts," Cover Girl lamented.
But then again, Cover Girl was an old Girl Scout par excellence and the day would never come where a mere Boy Scout knot would get the best of her.
After about ten minutes, the ropes over Cover Girl's wrists came loose and slipped off. Now she could jockey her chair to the table quicker and easier than the last time. She wasn't after her wristcom this time- there wouldn't be enough time for help to arrive- but a full can of Cobra Cola that the troopers had left behind. Her hands were still pinned behind the chairback but they were free, allowing her to pick up the can of soda with some effort. With even greater effort, she was able to throw the can at the ceiling.
"Yes," she told herself in triumph as the can hit its target- the canvas bag holding Polly. The bag came loose and Polly flew out, free at last.
Polly was an extremely intelligent parrot; he didn't waste his time with Shipwreck but flew directly to Cover Girl. He went to work on the triple constrictor knots tying the ropes binding the Joe's upper body to the chair. After about five minutes, he had them undone.
The ropes were untied but they were still tight due to the way they were looped around Cover Girl's chest. However after five minutes of straining and squirming, Cover Girl was finally able to wiggle out of the miles of ropes pinioning her upper body, slipping them over her head.
She quickly pulled off her gag ("Thanks, Polly") and went to work on her leg bonds. Six minutes later, she untied the last rope.
It took one minute to free Shipwreck.
Cover Girl and Shipwreck rushed to the table, the bomb planted dead center like a monolith. Cover Girl took one look and realized they had no chance of defusing it in three minutes. Couldn't move it either. Motion sensor.
"What do you…" Cover Girl grabbed Shipwreck's hand and started dragging him to the door before he could finish asking her opinion about what to do.
Cover Girl reached the door and pushed on the handle. It jammed, stopped by the padlock and chain locking it.
Two Minutes.
Window. They could get out the way Shipwreck got in.
Climbing cardboard boxes. Out the open window. Cover Girl, Shipwreck, Polly close behind.
One Minute.
Running Hard. Gotta get far enough.
BOOM!
The explosion ripped through the warehouse in a giant fireball. Debris rained down on boardwalk, thankfully free of civilians.
Cover Girl picked herself off the beach where she dove just as the bomb detonated. She helped Shipwreck up and hugged him. They parted and Shipwreck puckered up, expecting the kiss.
"My hero," Cover Girl declared to Polly, kissing him instead.
"Now, let's get those Cobras!"
Will Cover Girl, Shipwreck, and Polly catch up to Troopers Morris and McCoy?
Will they stop the Baroness and save the Key Bridge?
Stay tuned for the final chapter!