At the end of day Stevie was still seething with anger.
Today had been a complete stuff up.
She wishes she'd never gotten out of bed.
Drew had screwed them over with a deal.
She'd lost the plot completely with him and told him to stick the deal Jodi had made with him.
Jodi was angry at her now.
...
Making matters worse Fiona had turned up scrounging around for donations for the Fundraiser.
Normally Stevie would have been helpful but her presence was a constant reminder of Alex's lack of courage.
Courage... She mulled the word over in her mind, she would never have thought of him lacking in it.
In fact in her eyes he lacked nothing.
...
She'd seen him ride Bull's, massive, angry Bulls that would gladly trample you until you looked like fish paste.
Took courage in bucket loads to do that.
Bloody hell she thinks to herself what's wrong with him.
Gutless she tells herself, anger rising again, he's just gutless.
She'd walked off when Fiona was in mid sentence leaving Regan to smooth things over.
...
Throughout the day her mind pitted itself against Fiona, Alex and the world.
Her internal conversations were filled with her triumphing and saying just the right thing.
She pictured Fiona spinning uncontrollably and then her head exploding just like in the cartoons.
If only life was that easy.
Unbeknown to her, Regan had spoken to Alex which set a chain of events in action that would spiral out of control...
...
Drew had arrived and they'd sorted the deal at the original price.
Self satisfied Stevie patted herself on the back for changing Drew's mind about honouring his word.
Later she'd found out Alex had thrown the deal back to them.
Rather than feel gratitude she just felt angrier, like a tightly wound spring her anger festered in the pit of her stomach.
"So Stevie how about we have a beer at the pub?" Drew asked.
Inhaling she replied. "Well I have to go back out to bring in a mob of sheep so thanks but no thanks."
...
Riding towards the windmill she hears Alex on the Ag bike and looking up sees him pull up at the gate.
No smile on his face just a subdued anger.
"Where are you going?" He asks.
"None of your business."
"You told Regan."
"My life, my business, my choice who I tell."
"Fiona's my wife..." He begins
...
Before he gets to finish she snarls at him. "I don't want to know anything about you or your wife! Get it through your head! Every time I see her or hear her name it feels like I have a knife here."
She gestures to her heart.
Angrily he replies. "Do you think this is easy for me? I'm about to end my marriage."
"Don't lay this on me Alex just because you're gutless. I've been there remember, I've been married and I know there are no winners. But someone has to have the balls to stand up and say this isn't working. And you quite clearly haven't got em' so stay right where you are because I sure as hell don't want you."She growls back at him.
...
"But I love you."He pushes.
Her anger shifts just for a split second.
Glaring at him for a moment she unhooks the gate and walking through mounts back up and says. "Sometimes love isn't enough."
Clicking Banjo up
He watches her ride quickly away.
...
After dinner and a shower Stevie headed into the pub.
She'd asked all the girls but everyone made excuses.
Can't say I blame em' she'd thought to herself I'm not enjoying my own company at the moment either, why would they?
...
Arriving she buys herself a beer and sits at the bar.
Several people stop and chat and slowly she begins to feel slightly less angry.
"Can I interest you in game of pool?" Drew asks grinning at her.
"Oh I don't know. Are you any good?"She quips.
"Well why don't you try me." He replies.
Inhaling she nods.
...
They play a game and she wins.
"You set them up and I'll get us a couple of beers." She offers.
Sitting at the bar is Alex.
"You didn't take long to move on!" He snarls.
Frowning she retorts. "I'm playing pool not marrying him."
"Two beers thanks." Stevie asks the bar maid.
...
She turns to look back at Drew as she pulls her wallet from her back pocket.
Alex grabs her wrist and growls lowly. "I did it! Are ya happy? I'm separated!"
Even though she can tell he's quite drunk she needles back.
Shaking her head she answers. "Oh wow gee thanks shall I kiss your feet now or later? You were unhappy and yet somehow you make it sound like it's all my fault."
...
She tries to move to pay the barmaid but he holds her wrist tightly.
"Let go of me." She demands.
"We need to talk Stevie!" He pushes.
"You're drunk Alex." She replies.
...
He glares at her with a mixture of anger, love and pride.
"Are you alright Stevie?" Drew's voice enquires from behind her.
"Yeah I am but I've decided to go home Drew thanks for the game and I'll see you around."She states as she throws the money for the beer onto the bar and strides away.
...
Reaching her car she fumes at the nerve of him and his attitude.
As she opens the door he's there.
"Stevie stop." Alex calls.
She turns and he says. "I'm sorry ok. Can we talk?"
She shakes her head.
Confused, angry tears are forcing their way to her eyes and threatening to invade her cheeks.
...
He lunges for her and holds her closely.
She struggles a little, but he smells so good.
He forces his lips onto hers and despite the taste of whisky, a jolt of delight hits her like an egg cracked open onto a hot grill.
Sizzling, exciting and melting her anger.
...
His tongue entices and explores.
She feels the heat of his back and the muscles defined under her hands as she slowly surveys him.
Thoughts are only of how much she's longed to do this.
His kiss deepens.
Strong hands slide under her shirt, caressing her.
Her breath quickens.
...
Distracted by his lips she shocked when she realizes he's released the button and zip of her jeans.
His arms around her shoulders pull her tighter into his embrace his lips ripe for the taking.
Every sense heightened.
His hands slide delectably down her back his hands wide push her jeans lower.
...
She wants him more than she's ever wanted anyone.
Reason arrives.
They're in the car park.
It's thrilling but scary at the same time.
...
His hand moves around her, sliding down her soft stomach.
She inhales sharply and pushes back.
"No, no, no." She says shaking her head.
"Yes Stevie." He replies and she can hear the want in him.
...
Straightening her clothing she realizes this was a mistake.
She doesn't want it to be like this.
There's too much anger here.
"No Alex! Not like this I'm not some piece you picked up in the pub." She states.
'Yes you are.' He says trying to be funny.
She glares at him.
...
"It was a joke Stevie."He offers.
"Well why aren't I laughing." She says as she jumps into her Ute.
"Stevie don't do this. Don't leave me like this! I want you." He says angrily.
She shuts the door without answering.
As she begins to drive off her driver's side window shatters.
...
Startled she stops and climbs back out.
"What in the hell did you do that for?" She yells.
"Don't walk away from me Stevie." He yells back at her.
"You owe me a window! You're drunk go home and sleep it off."She growls as she climbs back in and drives off.
...
As she drives down the road she's angry with him and with herself.
Shifting in her seat she feels the remnants of his lust.
She inhales.
Her mind racing still.
Her skin tingling from his touch.
...
It would be so easy to turn back and let him ravish her in the nicest possible way.
But she wants more than sex.
She wants his love and his respect and she wants it wrapped in tenderness.
An overwhelming sense of disgust finds its way into her heart.
She feels dirty from what she allowed him to do.
Torn between lust and love she wipes her face as tears of guilt begin.
...