Chapter Two

Having been allowed to coast fairly mercifully through the first couple of hours of the day, signing off documents that he'd already approved in draft, the Inspector's headache was becoming a distant memory when its departure was rudely interrupted by a rap on his office door. Bidden enter, Sergeant Collins had the good sense to speak quietly and apologise.

"Sorry, sir, but you're going to want to come to this one. Dead body on a train just outside Toorak station."

Jack groaned inwardly, but trusted his sergeant's judgement, pushing back his chair and reaching for his hat and coat.

"As you're inviting me to join the festivities, Collins, I'm guessing this isn't a natural death?"

Hugh Collins shook his head sympathetically. "Stabbing, sir."

A last mouthful of rapidly-cooling tea, and the Inspector was on his way, enquiring as to the whereabouts of Detective Constable Lennox and the Coroner.

"Dr Mac's on her way to the scene with a team, sir. Lennox was on late shift last night and due in …" Collins checked the clock, "in ten minutes."

"Leave word for him to join us at the locus, and bring Chalky for now," ordered Jack, and while Hugh paused to relay the instruction, strode out to the car. That the personnel involved in the journey meant the Inspector could appropriate the back seat for himself was no more than fortuitous coincidence, and he closed his eyes to think better as they travelled out to Toorak.

When they reached Beatty Avenue, Collins slowed, and started to scan the railway tracks to their right; sure enough, there was the locomotive waiting impatiently. As they pulled up, it blew off a head of steam, which Jack fondly hoped represented the tempers of the passengers being dissipated before he boarded the train.

It turned out that it hadn't.

There were, he was informed, seventeen passengers on the 10.38 from Flinders Street to Pakenham. The only one who didn't mind the fact that they'd been sitting for nearly half an hour between stations was the gentleman in first class who was dead.

Jack had this information passed to him by the fireman because, he was roundly informed, it was more than the driver's job was worth to vacate his post just because the conductor was coming over all peculiar in the shrubbery beside the track. Yes, it had been Ron who'd found the body, but what of it? It was his job to look after passengers, it wasn't like he had to shovel coal all day in these temperatures.

Jack closed his coat a little more firmly against the wind and asked if the passengers had been kept on board.

He was reassured that the passengers were all still on board, sir, because the employees of the Railways weren't a bunch of bloody fools and in any case, it was a six foot drop from the train to the bank so were the ladies supposed to bloody fly?

Ladies, asked Jack?

Most of second class was, it transpired, occupied by ladies of the Melbourne Naturalists Society. They had hoped to be in time for an informative lunchtime lecture in Dandenong, and were being less than understanding about forces of nature – or of the police variety – getting in their way.

Even as the fireman finished speaking, a second car raced up and disgorged Detective Constable Lennox, who sprinted across to join them. Jack reflected that either he'd been early for work (of which the Inspector approved) or, left to himself, Lennox imitated Miss Fisher's driving style (of which he wasn't supposed to approve).

"Right, lads, first things first – Lennox, you start at the front of the train, Collins, the guard's van. I want the names of everyone on the train, passengers and crew. I'm going to take a look at the body. White, with me."

The two senior men saluted and departed on their respective tasks. Jack followed Lennox to the front of the train, Constable White trailing at his heels, to where the sole occupant of first class was taking no further interest in events. Lennox dug out his notebook and returned to the second class carriage, promising to circle back to the driver as soon as the passenger list was completed.

Jack stepped across to peruse the fleshly remains of the victim, but had barely had the chance to note the bloodstains on his shirt when the door to the compartment was drawn open again by his Detective Constable.

Lennox was a little pale.

"Sir? The party of ladies?"

"Yes, Lennox, what of them? I hope we'll be able to help them to return to Toorak shortly, you can tell them that if they're impatient."

"It … may be too late for that, sir."

Jack shot him an impatient glance.

"I'm sure you don't mean they've all turned around started murdering each other, Constable."

If Lennox had had a whimper in his repertoire, he would have deployed it. Instead, he looked at his feet, shuffled, blushed and said "No, sir, it's just that they're not Naturalists. The fireman made a mistake."

Jack closed his eyes and begged for deliverance. No party of helpful angels, or even a single lady detective having magically appeared, he could only grate out his reply. "If they're botanists, tell them we'll let them name the next state flower in return for their forbearance."

"Sir – they're naturists. And they've decided that they had a plan for the day, and they've started already."

Jack's eyes were now wide open, his jaw hanging slightly and his vocal chords temporarily out of action.

"Oh, and they're not all ladies, sir," added Lennox hastily. "There's a gentleman as well."

"Just … the one gentleman?" Jack wasn't sure why this was an important fact, but he was clinging to reality by his fingernails.

"Yes sir."

"Sir!" This from Collins, who'd sprinted along the train corridor to join them. "Sir, you need to come to the baggage car."

"Right away, Sergeant," responded Jack, taking a few paces down the corridor. If there'd been a hint of relief to his voice, only his nearest and dearest would have spotted it. "What have you got?"

"Another body, sir."

Jack stopped in his tracks. As so often, in a time of extreme crisis, his mind cleared beautifully.

"Collins, Lennox, to me." His subordinates obediently clustered round.

"Lennox, you and I are going to the baggage car. Collins, I need you to relieve Constable White in his watch on the body in First Class, so that he can go to the telephone at Toorak station. He can take one of the cars, and has to request all available men from City South. Then he has to locate Miss Fisher."

He looked at the both sternly. "I will deal with as many corpses as the criminals in the State of Victoria make the mistake of providing, but when people start taking their clothes off, I need to call in the only person I know who can persuade them to stop, before I have to take men off my investigation."

Collins and Lennox considered grinning, and then remembered that they were standing in front of the only Detective Chief Inspector in the State of Victoria whose wife had performed a fan dance in the course of duty; and saluted instead.