Chapter 2 is up! It's not really that great, but I'm hoping to get the meatier stuff in soon. So, here are the reviewer responses.

Darth Vyper: Thanks for the review, and thanks for being the only reviewer who voted in the Mace poll. Please, people, learn to do your civic duty.

thepenguinsquad: Yeah, I'm glad you found this one early too. I guess it's okay if you can't make up your mind. Though I don't know if you would do this at the presidential election...

Duo Jagan: Yeah, I think everybody does hate Jocasta Nu. And no, I am not going to use Baba or Bobo Fett. Learn how to spell.

G-Anakin13: The most consistent reviewer is back! I'm HAPPY you read this!

Disclaimer: I do not own the metric system, the English system, or Frank Sinatra.

"No! Abort mission! Abort mission!"

"DIE!"

"DIE!"

"Why, thank you for saying die."

"Oh, don't praise me, great warrior. I was only following in your noble footsteps."

"I'm so gonna chop your head off."

"Ditto."

Wade the Battle Droid turned off his radio logs and sighed. "And that's all I could get. I was kind of unconscious at the time. Sorry, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan looked at him. "What? Did you say something?"

"I was showing you the recordings I got from the Jedi Council Chamber. I called there and someone picked up the phone, but then they dropped it and I heard that random conversation."

Obi-Wan nodded. "I see. And you said something about being unconscious at the time?"

"Yes. Right before I called I learned a valuable lesson: Droids can't drink coffee."

"Ouch."

"Yeah, I had a pretty bad mess in my circuits."

"No, I mean you're stepping on my toe."

Wade removed his metallic foot from Obi-Wan's big toe. "Oh, sorry. My bad."

The Jedi Knight shrugged. "It's okay. I can live with only one kidney."

"How can stepping on your toe affect your kidney?"

"It can't."

"Then how did you lose your kidney?"

"Because I realized that if you tell the people at Starbucks to heat your coffee up to a gazillion degrees, they'll actually do it. And gazillion-degree coffee can be lethal when spilt…Lethal to kidneys."

"Ouch."

"Yes. But I can't believe coffee is hot! They should put warning labels on those things! I mean, who wants their coffee hot!"

"Uh…"

"Answer me, Wade! We must save the world!"

Suddenly a pack of ravenous chickens tackled Obi-Wan. Wade blew out a sigh of relief. "Phew. I thought that stupid train of thought was going to last forever."

"No! I must destroy hot coffee! Save me, Wade!"

Wade watched Obi-Wan being carried away by the pack of chickens. "Hey, those chickens are the same ones from the first fic. I wonder why they get an appearance in this story but other characters from the first one don't…"

"Ah, but Master Wade, who said I didn't appear in the fic?"

CLIFFHANGER! Anyway, let's go to the Sith Hideout, where our trio of villains is just in the last stage of fixing their shuttle…

"Pliers?"

"Check."

"Wrench?"

"Check."

"Darth Sidious' collection of Frank Sinatra CDs?"

"Check and mate."

Darth Maul folded up his clipboard. "Good. Then we're ready to go."

General Grievous stared at him. "Dude. Did you just fold up a clipboard?"

"Yeah. So?"

"You can't fold a clipboard. You only have half a body! Most normal people can't do it!"

Darth Sidious sighed. "Why are we even on this topic?"

Maul rolled his eyes. "Because the author is running out of good jokes. It's late."

"Whatever. Just get on board."

Grievous ran up the shuttle ramp, coughing, as usual. Sidious extended his hand towards the shuttle. "Ladies first."

Maul stared at him. "Then why aren't you going?"

"Give me a break." Sidious rolled his eyes as he entered the ship. "Wear one man skirt when you're chancellor and everybody has to make fun of you…"

Next we come to the final climax of this chapter. Yeah, the chapter wasn't really that great. Sorry. I'll try to make it up with the next one. Anyway, let us return to the adventures of our newest friend, Clyde…

Clyde took the paint brush and dipped it into his can of blue paint. He lifted the brush and made a slash on his canvas. Ah, how he loved art. Every stroke gave him new joy. Almost as much joy as eating his eight bowls of Cocoa Puffs a day.

But his bliss would not last. Jocasta Nu rushed up to him, her bun of hair standing on edge. Okay, not really, but you get the picture.

She was, as Clyde like to think of it, very peeved.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING! YOU'RE PAINTING ON THE WALL!"

Clyde turned back to his canvas. Only to his utmost horror the canvas turned out to be the wall. "Oh no! My canvas turned out to be the wall!"

I just said that.

"Oh. Right. Sorry."

Jocasta Nu, the evil Jedi librarian, slapped him across the face. "Shame on you! You're disgracing the Jedi temple! You must be an agent of the Dark Side!"

Clyde shook his hands in a negating manner. "I'm sorry, Miss Nu! Look, I'm shaking my hands in a negating manner!"

I JUST SAID THAT!

Clyde shrugged. "So what? It's not my fault if you copy me."

I'm not copying you, you're copying me!

"I am not!"

Jocasta Nu gasped. "Talking to invisible people! You MUST be an agent of the Dark Side! Children, attack!"

Clyde backed away. "No, not the children, please, anything but the children!"

But his pleas came too late. Dozens of kids with mischievous smiles filled the Library, training lightsabers glowing. Clyde turned and bolted. He ran until his legs simply would not keep going and collapsed under him.

In other words, he ran about a dozen feet and then fell down.

Jocasta Nu pointed at him. "Take him, children! He is out of shape! He could only run 144 inches!"

One of the children scratched his head. "But Mistress Nu, what are inches?"

She slapped herself on the forehead. "Great Scott, I forgot! We use the metric system in Star Wars!"

"NO!" Clyde struggled to his feet, aided only by his addiction to chocolate and art. "I will not use your European system! I will not abide by your laws! I will use the English System even if it's the death of me!"

Jocasta Nu rolled her eyes. "You idiot, the English System was developed in England."

"Well I'd rather be British than Canadian!" He pulled a string that happened to be next to his head. "So long, Jedi!"

A bucket of water fell from the ceiling and drenched him. He sighed. "Dang it. I always get my switches for buckets of water and trapdoors confused." He pushed down a lever that, for some odd reason, happened to be next to him. "So long, Jedi!"

The trapdoor opened up underneath Clyde's feet. He fell through, screaming something as he went down. Not quite sure what he said. Something about not eating enough Cocoa Puffs in the morning. Anyway, next thing he knew, he had landed in a darkened chamber.

He surveyed the room. "Hello? Is anyone there?"

"I'm here."

"Oh. Who are you?"

A figure in white armor approached him from the shadows. "I think the question you should be asking is, 'How can I help you?'"

"Oh. Okay. How can I help you?"

"You're going to help me. You're going to help me find the one I've lost…A person by the name of—"

Oh, cliffhanger! Incredible! I wonder what's going to happen. Who was talking to Wade the Battle Droid? Will the Sith get to Anakin before the Jedi? What's going on at the Council Chamber? And who is the mysterious figure in white armor? All these answers and more will be in the next chapter of Jedi Nites 2, so keep reading.

P.S. If you haven't yet, you can vote to determine whether Mace will be smart or stupid. So far the smart side has one vote. See you at the polls!