This story is about Zuko being overly protective and mildly (not like he's cruel or anything) sexist with his girlfriend, Katara. He really does mean well, he just... well, you'll see. I have to say that I love the way that this turned out!! The beginning and end are just dialogue, but the rest of it is told from Katara's POV, sort of like a diary entry, or something that she is thinking. R+R please!!

PS: I DON'T OWN ANYONE. BUT I WILL ACCEPT JOHNNY DEPP AS A GIFT.

just putting it out there.

Rating: T (for semi-questionable subject matter. nothing explicit, buuuuut, better safe than sorry)

Warnings: Make out reference, some big words.

Style: Humor/Cute.

We All Need A Big, Strong, Man

"No, really Zuko, I can carry -"

"Nonsense. It's much too heavy. Why don't you go help, erm, Aang with his, uh, glider?"

ooOORHOOoo

He's driving me insane. I love him to death, but I swear to all the spirits, I will kill him…. Ever sense I agreed to be his girlfriend I have been torn between two radically different impulses when it came to Zuko; Kiss him, or Kill him.

Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy… he's just… well, he's used to the fragile, dainty, useless girls of the Fire Nation and their apparent lack of the ability to do anything for themselves.

Like just now. That thing that I was carrying; that horribly heavy parcel that I could not have possibly moved of my own volition with out causing myself serious physical harm? It was a sleeping bag. And when we were setting up camp he also deemed the firewood, the cauldron, and the Water dangerously heavy for me. The WATER!! Helloo? I am a Water Bender!! A Master Water Bender!! A tidal wave isn't too heavy for me! Why should two measly buckets be?!

And then; most unforgivable of all; was the time that he insisted that he escort me when I went to gather food in the woods so that I didn't get attacked by wild animals, and he MENT it!! I was thinking oh, clever Zuko… now we can make out without the prying eyes of the entire camp on us… but did he make even the tiniest sexual offer? Nope. The most sex-starved human being, or anything else for that matter, on the planet could not have translated one of his glances, statements, or usage of body language at any time during our forty-five minute hike as even a "kiss me". I could have killed him.

In fact, he has missed out on several prime make out opportunities when they could have gone down as some of the most gratifying experiences of his life. Like the time that he offered to guard one of the rare hot springs that we found while I was bathing, and not once, NOT ONCE, despite all my hints and flirts and barely concealed suggestions did he venture anywhere near enough to the spring to even look at me. I know. I asked Toph afterwards, because she had been 'keeping watch' for me, and she said that his vibrations had never gotten within ten yards of the edge of the woods surrounding the clearing, and they were too thick to see through there, I checked.

ooOORHOOoo

"AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHH"

"What happened?"

"Who screamed?!"

"ZUKO!? Zuko, are you okay?! Are you hurt?"

"SPIDERFLYYYY!! SPIDERFLY IN MY SHOE!!! GET IT OUT GET IT OUT GET IT OUUUUUUUT!!!"

"…."

"AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

"IT WAS NOT FUNNY KATARA!!"

For the record, during the little "…." Part Katara picks the spiderfly out of Zuko's shoe and kills it, in total silence and the whole gang is staring at Zuko with this really weird look on their faces. Katara is the only one who laughs; (in the story, after Zuko's last line they all crack up, not including Zuko.)

I looooooove reviews!! they are like beautiful flowers growing from the sewage of life!!

-- Raven Heart