Mapleshade stretched awake and climbed out of the warriors' den. She was so tired from staying out the entire night; she usually only stayed with Appledusk for a short period of time. She suddenly remembered, as she was looking over camp, that Patchberry had caught her returning.
What would she do if he found out? Her life and Appledusk's would be ruined. They would both be exiled. She couldn't let anyone know. Perhaps acting like nothing had happened would work. Yes, that had to be it.
As Mapleshade was silently panicking, Snakepaw had approached her. He'd recently reached the age of twelve moons, and she was supposed to do his warrior ceremony that day. She'd completely forgotten in her thoughts.
"Good morning, Mapleshade," Snakepaw greeted her.
The tom had grown even larger than he was before - not only in height, but in body mass as well. She found it strange that she had to tilt her head upward to look at him. His mew deepened, and he sounded oddly like she imagined Oakstar would've in his younger moons.
"Good morning, Snakepaw," Mapleshade returned. "Your warrior assessment is about to begin. Let's go out and find a nice hunting spot, alright? After that, we'll see how well you fight."
"Yeah, okay," Snakepaw breathed, his yellow eyes widening. "I've just realized how serious this is. What if I fail?"
"I doubt you will," Mapleshade assured him, beginning to walk. He followed, his gaze never leaving her. "You're very talented. You've inherited your parents' skill."
"You think so?" Snakepaw asked. "Thanks."
They were silent until they arrived at a part of the forest. The prey he'd catch would be plump, as leaf-bare was only a few moons away. She looked forward to seeing the results of the hunting test.
"Hunt five pieces of prey," Mapleshade ordered. "If you only hunt three or four, they better be pretty impressive to make up for it."
"Yes, Mapleshade," Snakepaw meowed obediently. "I'll make you proud."
As Mapleshade padded away and prepared to get into a hidden position to watch, she felt her heart ache. She'd grown very close to Snakepaw, and it hurt to think that soon she would no longer mentor him. The past six moons had passed quicker than she'd ever wanted.
The calico she-cat watched as Snakepaw hunted. She had always known that he was clumsy, but his even larger size that had recently appeared only worsened it. He seemed to scare almost all of his potential catches away. He seemed to be getting angry with himself; she could hear him growl each time.
However, his luck eventually arrived. After a short break where he sat silently, he seemed to pay much more attention to everything. He caught prey after prey. By this time, it was more than halfway to sunhigh. They'd started at dawn. He'd taken a long time just getting the hang of the hunting bit. She wondered if she should keep that in mind.
Once he reached the five pieces at a little after sunhigh, she left the undergrowth. He turned, clearly proud of himself.
"I did it!" Snakepaw purred, his ears perked happily.
"I'll take these back to camp," Mapleshade told him, just as proud of him. "Go to the training grounds. I'll meet you there."
Mapleshade took all five pieces in one trip, stubbornly refusing to go back again. She sat them down on the pile with a heavy sigh.
"How's the assessment going?" Nettlebreeze asked, padding over. "Did you start with battle?"
"No, he just took a while to hunt," Mapleshade replied, slightly embarrassed; would he think that she did a bad job mentoring his son? "We're about to do the battle part now."
"Ah, gotcha," Nettlebreeze meowed. "I'll leave you to it then."
Mapleshade made it to the training grounds quickly, eager to finish the assessment. She put her apprentice through some basic moves, then some complex, and then a spar. He performed impressively, as she expected. She knew that he was probably one of the Clan's best fighters.
Mapleshade couldn't help but feel like she was losing part of herself when she reported to Beestar that Snakepaw had passed. She would no longer be a mentor; what was she now? That was one of the few things, besides meeting Appledusk, that she found true purpose and joy in.
That was when she realized that she'd never truly moved on from losing Swiftpaw and Larchfang. Ever though she didn't love Swiftpaw anymore, his death still felt like a wound that only got worse with time. Larchfang wasn't at all better. She missed her son so much that it hurt.
Her ever longing sadness and lack of motivation had only lessened. It was still very much there. She couldn't understand why; she was still grieving, yes, but she knew that she was incredibly close to officially moving on. And if she were no longer a mentor, that would only worsen those symptoms.
What sickened Mapleshade the most about herself was that she truly considered telling Beestar that Snakepaw failed just so that she could keep him for a little longer. However, she knew that would be an awful thing to do to such an ambitious and deserving apprentice.
Mapleshade cheered with everyone else at dusk when Snakepaw was given the name Snaketail. He began his vigil immediately. She watched as he smiled at everyone who walked past. She was still upset and grieving over losing him as an apprentice, but she also was just as proud as when her own kits were made warriors.
The next morning just as his vigil ended, Snaketail approached Mapleshade once she left the warriors' den. Tiredness was clear in his eyes, but determination was present as well. There was something else too, yet she couldn't determine it.
"I wanna ask you something," Snaketail told her, leading her out of camp.
"Ask away," Mapleshade mewed.
"I… I really admire you," Snaketail meowed, looking slightly embarrassed and nervous. "We've become very close over these past moons, and I'd consider you my friend. But… I want more than that. I love you. I want to be your mate."
Mapleshade was speechless for multiple moments. When she finally spoke, it was, "I'm flattered. Really, I am. But Snaketail, I don't like you in that way. You're basically a son to me."
She could see his heart break as his mood visibly dampened. "Oh. Alright. I'm... gonna get some sleep now. See you later."
Mapleshade watched as her former apprentice turned and reentered camp, his fluffy tail dragging behind him. She sighed, feeling awful; how could she just crush a young cat like that? She began hunting, desperately seeking something to clear her mind.
A seed is planted. Perhaps it will blossom later.