A/N: R+R please and for those of you who have, thanks. You have no idea what it means to me. Working on this story is like basically the only fun I get to have in my life, and so, it's nice to see that others are enjoying it.
For those of you who don't know, since apparently some of you didn't find this through tumblr, that last chapter was actually four parts and this is the fifth. It didn't make sense to load them as four separate ones to me. Usually, chapters are about 4000 words (like this one). Most of them are highly mature. I don't own anything mentioned in any of the parts – be it characters, tv, beer, anything. I barely have a functioning computer.
Warnings: Lots of pairings and general fucking around. In this particular part, there is referenced abuse and that will be referenced in future chapters.
Next update: Most likely next week. I know, I know, I suck, but unfortunately, I've got a lot of shit this week, and while I have another approx. 13,000 words written right now for this story, I have to make sure that the order in which it unfolds is right. I do all my own editing/betaing hence why it takes me a bit longer (and there's usually still a few mistakes.) There's some other little sections missing too and I want to be as perfect as possible. I try to make it worth the wait.
Special Update: Between now and next update though, I'm also debating about offering you a crack Harurin fic that will take place in the UTL universe, but will NOT be canon to the story. It'll reference real events and as a result it's got spoilers (which are canon), so I don't want to give it to you, because I want them to unfold in the story, but I also think it's a pretty fun fic (and who doesn't love Harurin?!), but yeah. We'll see.
Kisses.
XXX
Gou came home from school late that day. Normally, she spent her time around her brother and his friends, her adopted brothers, managing their swim team after school. But, today was different. She had failed some test, and the teacher made her retake it. She had planned to make it to the last few minutes of practice, but naturally, the teacher spent that time and a long time afterwards lecturing her about the importance of academia and how disappointed he was in her, and blah, blah, blah. She knew school was important, she was one of the best students in her class, but she had forgotten about this test. After all, the boys had a big match the original day of the test, and her thoughts had been on that. Oh well, she thought. She figured that her brother would have gone home without her.
She sighed, and she gathered her bag. It was pretty late, and she wanted to just get home. After all, she had more homework for this class and more for others on top of that. She hopped on the train. She wasn't like the boys, she didn't see the point to running home or biking home, she had no reason for training. And even if there had been, she was not going to do something like that at this hour. She sighed. Two more stops, she thought.
When she reached her stop, she hopped off, and walked the few blocks home. Since her father had died when she was a child, her family didn't have much money. Rin got to go to other schools because of his swimming prowess, but he had decided to go back to public school for Haru. She knew he wasn't happy in their apartment though. In her opinion, it was rather tight for three people, even though they all had their own rooms, their space wasn't big. That wasn't the reason why Rin disliked being home though.
She wondered in passing if Rin would even be home when she got home, he had been spending a lot of time with Haruka lately. Not that she minded, she understood why Rin wanted to get out of their apartment. It was one thing for Gou to live at home with their mother, but their mother was different to Rin. Rin looked too much like their father, and sometimes when she was drunk, which was often, she got violent with him.
Gou went up to their apartment on the second floor. The apartment complex was small, not like the ones in Tokyo. There were only three floors and each one had only like six apartments. The lights were off when she got upstairs, and so she thought to herself, I guess that means that nobody is home. Not that she minded, it would be quiet and she could get to work.
She turned the key and went inside. In the darkness, sitting in their combination living room/dining room/kitchen, she saw Rin sitting there.
"Rin? What's wrong? Don't tell me..." her voice trailed off, as she flipped on the light switch. And sure enough, it had happened again, "Where is -?"
"She's out with some tool. Probably gonna come home later even more drunk and stoned," his expression was completely unreadable, but Gou knew what it meant. This was unfortunately not the first time, she had come home to this, Rin continued, "I hate living here. I hate it so fucking much."
Gou was surprised, usually, their mother avoided his face, and yet she could see the formation of a bruise there too. She must have been really drunk. Gou sighed and got the first aid kit out of the bathroom. She also got her makeup kit for later. Everything was extra waterproof, and she always helped Rin cover it up. She knew Rin didn't want his friends not to know, although, she always tried to convince him to talk to them.
"You don't have to," she said, and she started to apply the medicine, "you could go back to boarding school."
"What? Tell the team that I'm a little bitch that gets beat up by his own Mom and that's why I have to abandon them?" He snorted, and said, "Get serious."
"You could tell Haruka. The rest of them don't need an explanation, but you could explain it to him," she cleaned the scratches on his stomach. It hurt her a lot to have to do this, but she knew it hurt Rin more. Most of the cuts had scabbed over, which meant that Rin had been sitting there for awhile. That made her feel guilty, perhaps if she had been home instead of taking that test or getting yelled at by the teacher, she could have stopped their mother from doing this. But, she knew Rin wouldn't let her get involved. She just felt badly about it all. She wanted Rin to go back to boarding school, but she also knew that when he was on the same team as Haruka, he was happy. And ultimately, no one could control Rin except Rin.
Rin didn't reply to her, and finally, he said, "It would just upset him."
"But, that's what a relationship is, you work through problems together," she argued, cleaning one of the bigger cuts on his stomach.
Rin rolled his eyes, "It's not a relationship, sis. Besides, what could he do?"
She frowned.
And seeing the look on her face, Rin replied softly, "It's bad enough to lose to him in the pool. I don't want him to see how weak I am."
She bandaged the majority of the cuts for now, "I'll let them heal overnight. And then, tomorrow..." her voice faded.
"Yeah, if you wouldn't mind helping me cover them up, I'd appreciate it," he said. His voice was empty. He had gone to Australia for school shortly after their Dad died, because of this. Then, when he came back here, he went to boarding school to avoid this. But, when he and Haruka became closer, he changed to public school. He wanted to swim with Haruka and be with Haruka always, but everything has a price.
"Rin," she touched his hair and thought about the photos of her father, "I can cut it and dye it, if you want, and maybe she won't -"
"No, I like my hair as is," Rin said. It wasn't entirely true. He liked it long, but considering everything, Rin had also thought about changing it. He wanted to make himself look different. But Haru liked it, and so, Rin couldn't cut it, "I'll just deal with it."
XXX
"Nagisa?" Rin knocked on his door.
There was no answer. Rin heard someone scurrying around, Rin knocked harder, "Nagisa? I'm coming in," and he opened the door.
Nagisa was by the sink in his room. Freshmen rooms were tiny, their main furnishings being a bed and a desk. In the corner, was a tiny sink with a mirror.
"What are you doing? Why didn't you answer? Why aren't you ready? We said seven," Rin checked his watch.
"Sorry, I was just..." His voice faded.
And as Rin walked closer to Nagisa, he saw the beginning of a puncture near Nagisa's wrist and a knife in his hand. Rin's eyes widened and he rushed over to Nagisa, "What the fuck were you doing?"
Rin grabbed the pocket-knife from Nagisa and slapped his face. Nagisa was shocked. So was Rin. Rin didn't ever hit people, he hated hitting in general, but this was too much. The thought of what could have happened if Rin hadn't gone into Nagisa's room, if instead of entering Rin had turned around and left, terrified him.
"What the fuck were you thinking?" Rin asked still staring at his own hand, "Holy fuck, Nagisa. What the hell has happened to you?"
Nagisa pouted and looked away, "The door was supposed to be locked."
"Do you want me to slap you again?" Rin asked, but he knew he wouldn't actually do it. His hand stung, and while his temper was cooling off now, he felt bad far too bad about hitting Nagisa to do it again. Instead, he folded the knife down and slipped it into his pocket.
Nagisa shook his head.
"Good. I'm sorry I did that...I...I really am. I just...I can't handle the thought of anything happening to you. So, here's what we're going to do. You are going to call me anytime you think of doing anything stupid. Or anytime you are upset. And I will take you out and we'll do something fun, and eventually, you will be happy," Rin sighed, "you can't do this. I can't lose you. You're the person who goes here from back home."
Nagisa nodded slowly.
"Let's get you cleaned up and then, let's get some ramen," Rin said.
Nagisa sat on his bed, and Rin grabbed the first aid kit from Nagisa's closet. Nagisa was surprised by how deftly Rin cleaned the cut and put the bandage on. His curiosity must have been obvious, because Rin explained, "My Mom got violent a lot when I was home."
Nagisa's eyes widened.
"Don't make a big deal of it okay? Just let it go and don't tell Haru," Rin said.
Nagisa wanted to ask more, but Rin obviously wasn't going to volunteer that information. The only reason, Rin told me that, he thought, is because he saw what I was about to do, "I won't, if you won't talk about what I almost did."
Rin smiled. That was the beginning of their friendship. They had been friends for awhile, but nothing like what unfolded after that. That night at Ramen began their true friendship. Nagisa learned more details about what had happened to Rin as time went on, and Rin helped Nagisa through his loneliness. They were an unusual pair, but Rin had a certain charisma that changed Nagisa and Nagisa's genuine kindness drew in Rin.
Rin took Nagisa to a little street Ramen stand, "Oh, that is the stuff," Rin said, as he sipped on the broth, "See, this right here is exactly why I couldn't do that kind of thing. Ramen is just too damn good."
Even Nagisa smiled at that.
Rin asked, "Why were you gonna do something like that anyway?"
Nagisa didn't respond.
"Tell me that it is not because of Rei." Rin demanded.
"What happened with him was all my fault," Nagisa replied after slurping up a noodle. He had to admit this Ramen was good.
Rin let out a loud snort, "That's complete bullshit. I mean, you don't honestly think that do you?"
Nagisa nodded slightly.
Rin wanted to shake him, "He told you not to go to school here. How is that your fault?"
"He thought it would tear us apart and it has, it's all my fault," Nagisa put down his spoon and raised the napkin to his lips.
"You're wrong. It was selfish of him to tell you not to go to school here. When Haru got scouted to go professional, even though I didn't want him to, I didn't stop him. I encouraged him. Anything different would have been completely selfish," Rin looked at Nagisa who appeared to be mulling that over, "and that is coming from a very selfish guy."
This also made Nagisa laugh.
"Ultimately though," Rin said, "The only way to get over heartbreak is to break hearts."
"Amen to that," said the guy working in the Ramen stand. This also made Nagisa chuckle.
The guy handed Rin and Nagisa a beer each, "Breakups are the worst."
They thanked him. They toasted each other, and took a swallow.
"You're looking better," Rin said and he meant it.
Nagisa nodded, "I'm feeling a lot better. You're a way better friend than I thought you were, Rin."
"I'm not sure whether to be complimented or offended," Rin joked. He chugged the rest of the beer and said, "Oh man. I feel way better now too. You know what? I've got a brilliant idea. You should join my fraternity. We'll have a crazy time."
Nagisa agreed, "Yeah, okay."
"Oh - be more excited than that. We are gonna wreck shit up."
XXX
The pair was standing in Rin's bathroom now. Nagisa had turned on the water. He felt like such a push over, but he had to agree with Rin, a bath sounded nice. Rin had a tub with more than enough space for two. The thing was like a small pool.
It wasn't the first time Nagisa had done this with Rin, and it was sure to not be the last. Nagisa helped Rin stand up and Rin lifted his arms. Nagisa unbuttoned Rin's pants, and wasn't sure whether or not to be surprised that Rin was wearing nothing below them. On the one hand, it was not the first time that this had happened, but it had been awhile since Nagisa was responsible for drunken Rin, "You've got to be kidding me."
Rin smirked and laughed, "You can touch it if you want."
Nagisa rolled his eyes and slid Rin's pants down and helped Rin step out of them. Next, Nagisa helped unbutton Rin's shirt. Nagisa helped Rin into the tub and threw the smelly clothes out into the hall where they couldn't smell them. The bathroom was foggy and nice. Nagisa slipped out of his own clothes, but kept his boxers on. He started to step into the tub, when Rin said, "Oh don't be a bitch. This is Japan."
Nagisa laughed and agreed. He slid out of his pants and stepped into the tub. Rin was on one side of it and Nagisa on the other, he asked, "Feeling better?"
Rin nodded, "Much. I didn't mean to get as drunk as I did tonight. I haven't puked in awhile. But, it's been a long time since I've gone out with you."
Nagisa laughed.
"Will you wash me?" Rin asked.
Nagisa glared at him, "No funny business."
Rin nodded, and so, Nagisa went to join Rin. He grabbed some of the soaps and oils and rubbed them on Rin's face and chest and legs. Rin behaved – no moaning, no moving, nothing - to Nagisa's surprise. Not that I'm particularly disappointed or anything.
When it was Rin's turn though to do Nagisa, that was when Rin made a move. First of all, he put the oils and soaps on Nagisa's lower back and went down further than Nagisa had gone on Rin. But, he still managed to stay well above Nagisa's ass. Nagisa tried to control himself. It had been a long time since anyone had touched him and Rin's deft hands were not making it easy.
Rin started to move his face in towards Nagisa's.
"Well, it's about time for me to grab a cab home," Rin said looking at his watch.
Nagisa nodded. The pair was sitting on the curb. It was the middle of winter, but they were drunk and warm.
"Unless you wanna make out?" Rin asked.
Nagisa only laughed, "Not gonna happen."
"A shame."
"Congrats on getting scouted."
"There are better ways to offer them," Rin winked, but he was already halfway in the cab.
Nagisa pulled back, a second later than he would have normally. Rin didn't notice that it had taken Nagisa longer to pull back. He was too drunk. Nagisa stood up, but seeing that his dick was almost at eye level of Rin, he stepped to the side and got out of the tub. Nagisa put on a towel, and then, he helped Rin get out.
"So, even at this stage, you still won't touch me, huh?" Rin asked. Either Nagisa was the best friend ever, or he was really not interested.
Nagisa shook his head, "Not while you're drunk no. I want you to have a clear head if you really wanna try this."
His sincerity surprised even Nagisa himself. He was really open to being with Rin. He would have probably said no way at the beginning of the night, but then again, he had been the one to text Rin. Was this what he wanted?
Rin nodded, "Okay then. I'll ask you when I get up."
Yeah right, thought Nagisa, but he didn't say anything.
"Will you help me put on my pants?" Rin asked Nagisa.
Nagisa sighed, Rin did something of a swagger to indicate that he wasn't in fact faking. Nagisa nodded, "Okay then. Let me get your boxers."
"Nah, just pants."
Nagisa rolled his eyes, "Fine, but if you piss yourself, I'm not doing this a second time. You're gonna have to sleep in piss pants."
"I have not ever pissed myself."
"Not true."
"Oh come on now, that's not fair. You weren't even there that night."
Nagisa laughed laughed, and got the pajama pants, and slid them up Rin's legs. Rin obviously appeared to enjoy having Nagisa dress him, and Nagisa didn't entirely mind the accidental brush against Rin's ass. Nagisa was about to get the shirt to put that on Rin, but Rin reached for it himself. He buttoned it without a problem, leaving Nagisa to wonder if Rin just wanted to be a cocktease. Most likely. Rin gave Nagisa a look that said, 'I dare you to ask.'
But, Nagisa didn't ask. Instead, he drained the bath, and walked Rin to his bed.
"You gonna sleep next to me?" Rin asked.
Nagisa shook his head, "I'll sleep on the guest bed."
"Soooo far away."
"If you need anything let me know," Nagisa was firm. He was starting to get tired.
Rin nodded, "Okay, night-night, Nagisa."
Nagisa went to turn off the light, but Rin said, "Thanks for inviting me out tonight Nagisa. I know I was a pain for you, but I get really lonely."
Nagisa paused and thought about how to respond, but he heard snores.
XXX
Haruka was sitting in his bath. It had gone cold, and so, he turned the jets on again. It started to warm up again. He was staring at his phone debating with himself about everything. He wanted to make a move to see Makoto again, but he couldn't figure out how to do that. He wanted Makoto to appear at his door like Rei had. As if that would happen, he thought to himself. He wanted to tell Nagisa that Rei was here, mainly to see how Nagisa would respond. Nagisa had tortured him for months with the information about Makoto and it seemed only fair that he should get some revenge. His mind went over what Nagisa had said though. That Nagisa would have been happy if he never had to see Rei again. Haruka refused to believe that. He was happy that he got to see Makoto at his cafe. Even though it had been difficult.
And so, Haruka decided to send him a text.
Rei is here too, Nagisa. He's been here this whole time hiding out in this town. He and Makoto are friends. If you came back here, you could see him.
He wondered how quickly Nagisa would take the bait.
XXX
Nagisa's phone beeped. Nagisa was lying awake mulling over everything that happened with Rin that night. It had been a long time since Nagisa had seen Rin intentionally start a fight just to lose it. At the same time though, Rin had been so forward and tried so hard to get Nagisa's attention.
When Rin had gone in to kiss him, as always, Nagisa had pulled away. But, what if when he sobered up it was still what Rin wanted to do? It had been so long since Nagisa had felt that kind of release, and he knew Rin was good. He had to be considering what Haruka let Rin get away with. But, Rin couldn't commit. Not then, not now, not ever. Rin could only commit to friendship, and Nagisa knew well that Rin was well committed to theirs. After all, if it had not been for Rin freshman year, he might have -
Nagisa pushed that thought away and rubbed his wrist awkwardly. He thought more about what would happen if he did give Rin a chance. What would he tell Haruka? Would he tell Haruka? He would have to. But, how would he put it that would not make Haruka hop on the next train to Tokyo to steal Rin back? Would it even matter to Haruka? Haruka was never going to get back together again with Rin. Right? Nagisa thought about what Rin had done. But, as he was torn in the middle, a small voice in his head asked, Could he really blame Rin for that?
The truth was that if he could, he wouldn't have been able to stay friends with Rin. Even so, what about Makoto? He mulled over Makoto and Haruka. Mostly though, he was awake because he was worried about Rin and it was never easy to fall asleep in the guest bed of someone else's place. But, Nagisa was surprised to get a text at this hour. Haru, maybe? He wondered.
He checked his phone and just about dropped it when he read it. Now, he was definitely not going to get any sleep.
XXX
Haru wasn't that surprised that Nagisa didn't text him back. It was late after all, maybe Nagisa was in bed. Haru wasn't there for Nagisa to go to the bar with, and Nagisa would have gotten home earlier if he had been out with workmates. Haru knew he should be in bed too, but his days and nights were all mixed up. During the day he couldn't muster the energy to get up, but during night, he had all the energy in the world. Not that he had anything to do with that energy. Haruka made use of his pool, but his mind was on Makoto. He sat patiently in his tub waiting to get tired enough to go to sleep or for Nagisa to text him back, or for anything really, when he heard the front door to his house open. He was not even startled. Probably some worker, he thought. His new property required a lot of maintenance after all. Between the pool, the yard, the cook, and everything else, it was a lot of upkeep.
But, the person that entered hadn't been maintenance. And Haru was surprised when the bathroom door opened up. But, more surprised to see the face to whom the visitor belonged.
"Just like old times, huh?" Haru smiled softly.
But, Makoto's face didn't reflect one of old friends meeting. He replied coldly, "I want to hear it all. I want to hear why you are here, what you want, and what happened between you and Rin, and then I'll decide what I think."
"It's a long story," Haru sighed. He didn't like telling stories, especially not long ones.
"Well, you have to tell it."
"I know and I will."
XXX
Their mother stumbled in drunk at around 3 AM. She was by herself, whoever the guy had been, if they did it, she didn't bring him home. Her mood was soaring. She giggled in the kitchen to herself. Her loud movements, slamming doors and stumbling around, woke up Rin. He tried to lay as still as possible in his bed. Please don't come in here. Not tonight, he thought.
But, she did, as she always did. This was his mother's happy drunk mode, and one that he preferred to the alternative. Not that it was much better.
"Rin, sweety," her voice was sugary, "wake up, I wanna talk to you."
"Okay, Mom," he tried his best to sound happy to see her. He never knew what would set her off and cause her to get mad at him again.
She sat on his bed, "Sit up."
He obeyed.
"Mommy's sorry, you know that right?" She asked, "Mommy loves you very much, but sometimes, Mommy gets confused, and angry. But, you know I love you right?"
He nodded slowly. She hugged him, and he put his hand on her back.
"Say you love Mommy too, Rin," she demanded.
"I love you too, Mom," and he tried hard to mean it, but he felt nothing. Love isn't real, he thought, there's no such thing.
"Good!" She patted him on the head, and left his room.
He slumped back down into his bed and cried softly to himself. This is why I can't tell him, Gou. He'd see me cry and he'd think I was weak and he wouldn't want me anymore. And besides, there's nothing he can do anyway. There's nothing anyone can do.
Gou was awake in her room too. When their Mom crashed into her bed, they both knew it. He knew Gou was awake, and as much as Gou wanted to go to him, and comfort him, she didn't. It just made him upset, and he was thankful she didn't bother him. It was one thing for her to help him deal with the marks, but he didn't like when she saw how powerless he was. He knew she knew, but he preferred for her to not see the look on his face. He was supposed to be her brother and her protector and he just felt so weak.
And no matter what she said or did, Gou couldn't change his mind about that. The truth was, she respected him and cared about him more than anyone in the world. In her mind, he was the bravest person she knew.
XXX