A/N: As requested by the lovely Forever Written in the Stars (check out her fics, they're fantastic!) I've done another installment! Hope you like it!
-BB-
Pizza Boy and Loony Girl
Did She Really Just Say That?
After spending some time getting to know Lauren Tanner, Razor is pretty sure "gymnast" is just a synonym for "extraterrestrial."
"Get out," he says over the phone. "Tell me you're lying to humor me."
"Carter and I never really. Once with Max," she tells him over the phone. "But it was so lame. We had to go to this cheap restaurant all the way in Littleton because, oh, the fab Austin Tucker suggested it to him and Max was afraid someone from the gym would see us out in public together."
"Wow."
There's a long pause and Razor feels like kicking himself. He knows she has these buttons, these insecurities over things that he thinks are just plain silly, but because of what she's been through and who she is, Lauren actually takes to heart. Things like, when they're out at the Shack or something and she'll catch a glimpse of a mother and daughter, laughing together or little gangs of giggly girls toting around shopping bags and talking about average teenage life. It all reminds her that she doesn't have any of that.
Razor doesn't see why she can't see how kickass she is. He did the whole high school thing and it wasn't very glamorous. Lauren was raised on gymnastics (and possibly steroids? Man, she'd literally kick him for that joke) and she's never had to deal with detention for stupid things like chewing gum in class. She's been to places like France and Brazil and Razor did the roadie thing for a while but the farthest he's gotten is Canada. He doesn't understand her craving for normalcy, but he figures it's that whole green grass on the other side of the fence or however the saying goes (whatever, he thinks idioms are clichés anyways) and so he makes the effort to be sensitive when it comes to presses her wrong button.
"Doesn't matter," Razor says quickly. "This gives me the chance to actually take you out on a date-date. I'll pick you up at your house and we'll go to dinner and a movie and it'll be terribly, terribly cliché, but at least you can say you have and with a guy who'd love nothing more than to get caught in public with you."
There's a pause and Razor holds his breath, praying for endearing more than cheesy.
"Can't wait," Lauren says. She tries to play cool, but barely hides her excitement, which in turn, makes him wanna skip around in circles. "And please don't wear anything with the Pizza Shack logo on it and no four-dusted aprons while we're at it. It's my only rule, Ray."
"Lo," he playfully groans, "That eliminates at least half my wardrobe."
"Okay, for your sake, I really hope you're kidding," Lauren says. "Whether you get a kiss at the end of the date or not depends on it."
"That sounds like a challenge."
"Oh, it is."
"Well, I'm game," he agrees. "I'll pick you up. 7 o'clock sharp."
"Alright. See you then."
When Razor shows up at her house, he brings her flowers just because. They aren't a dozen red roses or any of those flashy, expensive arrangements, just a single white rose. There's something about her face and the shimmer in her eyes as he whispers, "I saw these and thought of you." Razor assumes he's doing something right when instead of having to wait till the end of the night to see if he gets that kiss or not, Lauren rises up on the tips of her toes and kisses him right there on the front steps before the date actually begins.
-BB-
They hang out at the mall a lot.
Lauren tells Steve that it's stress and retail therapy after a long day at the gym and he never asks questions. Razor likes to show her around the music store, an expert, like he works there when he actually spends most of his time slinging dough, baking and delivering. He can be a bit of a showoff with guitars too expensive for the lint in his pockets and the employees have given up yelling at him for ignoring the 'Ask for Assistance' sign that actually means Don't Fucking Touch It. Lauren lets him because he willingly totes around her bags for all of the little mall excursion and he is cute, especially when he's talking about what he's passionate about.
Despite his claim to be allergic, Lauren drags him into the men's department at a store Razor can barely afford to buy socks at and talks about how skinny ties are the it thing when it comes to dudes clothes and how that would go with his overall look and bring out the color of his eyes. She picks out outfits for him and though he's reluctant when she shoves him off to the nearest dressing room, after the first few, Razor makes the best of it, modeling for her.
"This would look great on you," Lauren says, expertly twisting a skinny tie into a perfect knot under his chin.
"Hey, how'd you learn that?"
"Have you never seen my dad?" Lauren asks, but then she remembers, no, he hasn't. "He rarely leaves the house without a perfectly tied tie. It was sort of our thing when I was little. The other girls at tumbling and acro were always jealous of my sense of style—not exactly surprising—and complained to their stupid gym moms who'd complain to my dad like it was some big scandal. So in exchange for him picking my outfits, I'd get to choose his and I sort of just picked it up."
Lauren straightens the knot and takes a step back to admire her handwork. The only thing more perfect than her tie tying abilities is the way he's looking at her in this moment. Attentive. Thoughtful. She doesn't even have to fight or beg for his attention. She doesn't play on the seduction card or try to be sexy. Razor looks at her like he thinks she's amazing after an anecdote she didn't even realize she was telling. Lauren just opens up without even realizing it and the way he looks at her, it makes her feel appreciated and beautiful.
"Thanks," Razor says and it sounds like something beyond tie tying. It isn't a feeling either of them really knows how to define, but it's there and it's mutual, something Lauren hasn't felt much of in her life one-sided love life.
Smoothing her fingers down the silk tie, Lauren smiles back. "Anytime. You know who to call."
"As much as I do love tuxedo tees and clip-on bowties, I might have to switch to these," Razor says. He flips over the price tag and his eyes bulge. "…or not."
"Maybe I'll buy you one for your birthday," Lauren says, loosening the knot for him. "Spiderman or Bugs Bunny?"
"How do you read my mind like that?"
Lauren rolls her eyes, but smiles, pulling the tie off from around his neck. Oddly enough, this one time, putting clothes on a boy felt more meaningful than taking clothes off him. "But don't count on me letting you wear a weird cartoon themed tie out in public."
Turning on her heels, her blonde hair flipping out, Lauren starts to turn away when she feels Razor take her hand and tug her back. Before she says anything, he leans down to kiss her sweetly. Not to shut her up. Not because she's trying too hard and it's too pathetic for him to watch any more. Just because he likes her and he wants to. Razor is her constant reminder that some things really can be that simple.
But things get a little more complicated when a nearby voice says, "Lauren?"
And they break away to see Summer standing there, staring at them.
-BB-
No hate cuz I kno shes like the mom u never had, but that lady is scary judgey.
It's not u she's judging, Ray. It's me.
The entire car ride is spent in silence. Summer driving and Lauren texting.
Lauren honestly doesn't get why Summer had to go and make a big deal out of nothing, demanding Razor leave and she and Lauren drive home together. So she was out with Razor. So they kissed. So what? Razor is her (secret) boyfriend. It isn't like that time with Max Spencer and the lack of clothing and the flashing camera. Lauren feels inclined to point this out and she does. Summer tenses behind the wheel. Oh boy.
"I don't know what to do about this, Lauren," Summer says tensely. Honestly, at this point, the woman really needs to get laid. Pronto. "I thought you learned your lesson after that last time I caught you with a boy, but apparently not."
"This is different. Max didn't have feelings for me," Lauren says. Her lip quivers a bit at the memory, but her face remains steely. She has long come to terms with everything that happened with Max and how artificial it was. Being with Razor, noticing the differences, the way he doesn't make her battle and beg for his attention, it reminds her what an idiot she was, so desperate to make Max like her when his interest veered in clearly contrary directions.
"And this boy—what's his name—you're so sure he does have feelings for you?"
"Razor. His name's Razor." Summer gives her a look and she can already imagine her father's expression somewhat resemble that, but multiplied by a thousand just hearing Razor's name alone. "And, yes, he does."
"Lauren, you're so young…"
"Summer, I'm seventeen. Not seven." Though many of her fellow gymnasts can build cases against this, regarding her mental age, Lauren jut pushes that thought aside. "And, yeah, I can tell because I have feelings for him too."
With something like pity in her eyes, Summer argues, "But, like you said, you're seventeen. You have the rest of your life for this and there's no need to rush into anything."
"We aren't," Lauren says. "Look, Summer, I know what you're thinking, that I'm this love sick little girl being sidetracked and manipulated by a boy, but it isn't like that so you don't have anything to worry or tell daddy about."
"Are you having sex?"
Blunt. Harsh. Like Summer's already assuming she knows the answer, a are you being safe already on her tongue. Lauren rolls her eyes. These "love" (sex) obsessed virgins. Summer should start an abstinence group or a book club. Kaylie can be club secretary. Payson, an unwilling yet involved by association third party.
"Gee, Sum, I don't exactly ask about you and my dad or your sex life…"
Or lack there of.
"Lauren."
"No," she replies. There's something so refreshing about that answer and especially the fact that it isn't a lie. Everyone assumes they are. Kaylie and Payson, Austin and Max, they all assume that when Razor sneaks in to the Rock to see her or steals her away during their lunch breaks, that they're fucking. Whatever. They can think whatever they want because she knows the truth and people just believe what they want to believe anyways. "No. He isn't pressuring me into anything and so we haven't done anything. That's what makes it different."
They sit with that throughout the rest of the drive.
"I still think you should tell your father."
Lauren honestly likes Summer. She does. She thinks she'd be a great wife and a great mother and fix all their problems and make them a family. Steve and Summer have been doing this on-again-off-again high school bullshit and it's become tiring, the way it gets Lauren's hopes up just to disappoint her, like everything and everyone has disappointed her in the past. Lauren's been holding her breath, waiting for that fairytale wedding, but it's yet to come. At one point, she just had to let it go and take a breath.
"He won't understand," Lauren whispers. She loves her father and she knows he wants the best for her. She also already knows that he won't think Razor is what's best for her. Razor is a pizza boy. Steve is going to judge him just like Summer and everyone else judges her.
Lauren waits patiently for her father to get home while Summer busies herself in the kitchen. She anxiously taps her fingers against her thigh. Clearly, it only makes sense to beat Summer to the punch and tell Steve about Razor herself. What is she supposed to say?
Daddy, I'm dating a pizza delivery boy. Deal with it.
Yeah, Lo, because that's really going to go over well. She can already imagine the steam coming out of Steve's ears and how red his face is going to turn. But, damn it, she's seventeen. It's ridiculous for her dad or Sasha or for anyone else to simply expect they can only have one—feelings or a gymnastic dream. Lauren has both and wants to keep both. She's nothing if not determined. And when she carefully makes her case to Steve, his face turns even redder than expected, but she takes it as a good sign when he chuckles and comments on how she'd make a fine lawyer post-Olympics. Hint. Hint.
-BB-
They kinda just hang out and it's cool. She makes up lies and excuses to get some alone time with Razor and that's the first time a girl has really put an effort into see him. Razor is usually the one that has to do the wooing and the chasing and he still likes to try and woo Lauren because she deserves it and it's kinda fun, but she also meets him halfway. It's not much of a chase and Razor is fully content with it.
"Carter Anderson? Carter Anderson who'd always forget to turn off the stoves and the ovens and once even managed to lock himself in the meat locker and almost died of hypothermia? You lost your virginity to that guy?"
"Shut up," Lauren snaps. She slaps her hand against his shoulder and Razor laughs lightly. She fluffs her end of the pillow they're sharing, both turned on their sides and watching the other. "I know. It was stupid and alcohol might have been a major factor in it too."
"At the kegger where Damon and Emily fell in love at first sight?"
Lauren nods. "That's the one."
"Damn," Razor mutters, stroking the little bit of scruff on his cheeks. "I was there."
"I know," Lauren says. "Isn't it weird that we didn't even know each other back then and now we're, like, together?"
Razor smiles, lazily threading his fingers through hers, but not entirely lacing them. "It only seems natural," he says. "We had to grow up a little. You had to realize what a douche Carter was and I had to get over whatever I thought I could have possibly had with Emily. Then everything fell apart, just for everything to fall in place and now we're here and I really like here."
As much as she wants to whisper a me too, Lauren assumes he sees it in her with the way his lips spread in a smile and makes her smile back. "Okay, your turn," Lauren says. "Who was your first?"
Chuckling, Razor turns over onto his back to stare at the ceiling. "Jody Bishop. Straight-up Cali girl. Her and Damon have been friends since they were kids. She was the one he was staying with when he was down in LA, recording, or at least trying to record. She came out here to visit him one summer and, yeah, we hooked up."
"Tell me it was horrible."
He shrugs his shoulders. "I was extremely nervous. I remember my hands shaking and her telling me to calm down. We might have been drinking too, but not like a sloppy, possible date rape level. Mechanics-wise, yeah, it was probably horrible and awkward, but looking back on it, it's a nice memory."
"You still talk to her?"
Razor shakes his head. "Barely. Damon probably talks to her more than I do. She was a total Colorado hater, tried to talk us into moving to California after graduation, always talking about how much better LA is than Boulder, but I'm a Colorado boy, you know? I do my roadie thing and travel around, but I always end up back here. It's home."
Sometimes he loses himself in what he talks about, but instead of growing annoyed of his romantic talk, Lauren looks like she could listen to him talk for days.
"What about you and me?" Lauren asks. She seems so nervous, a step away from vulnerable. "Are we ever going to, you know, have sex? You do want to with me, right?"
She's so blunt sometimes he makes him want to laugh, amused, but he knows she'll take it the wrong way and settles on a smile instead. Turning onto his side, Razor faces her and squeezes their fingers, fusing them into one.
"Yes," he answers. "But not right this second. When we do, we're both going to be sober and it isn't going to be in the back of my van and I can't promise you some fantasy version, but it'll be real and not for any other reason besides the fact that we both want it and that I care about you and you care about me…you do, right? Because if not and I just assumed, well, that's embarrassing."
Lauren rolls her eyes and leans in to gently kiss his lips. Razor moves his free hand to the side of her face, his fingers gently buried in her hair. With the way they kiss, honestly, Razor wouldn't mind taking back what he said and just speeding up this courting process right here and right now, but for their first time together Lauren Tanner deserves better than afternoon sex in the back of his van, parked in a random parking lot a few blocks from the Rock. No one let her know that she deserves better and Razor's determined to show her.
Before they get the chance to fog up the windows a la Titanic, her nearby phone starts beeping, ending their allotted playtime for the day. When Lauren pulls away, Razor quickly leans in to sweetly peck her lips before she puts an end to the alarm on her phone. It's time for her to sneak back into the Rock and for him to get back to the Shack. Lauren reluctantly sits up though Razor closes his eyes and lies there, taking in a moment before forced to resume reality.
His little moment to himself shatters when Lauren cheerfully says, "Oh, and by the way, my dad and Summer want to have dinner with you and me. You eat food other than pizza and peanut M&Ms, right?"
-BB-
Dinner goes horribly before it even starts, which doesn't surprise Lauren in the least bit. After all, this is Boulder. She did think Razor would at least last the night instead of making up an excuse about thinking he left the stove on at his apartment and had to leave as quickly as possible before he burned down the apartment building and wouldn't be able to get his deposit back.
"Razor, wait!" There's nothing worse than chasing after a boy in designer heels, but Razor is worth it so Lauren slams the front door and follows him out to the driveway.
Razor walks faster than he usually does, stiff and jagged compared to his usual laidback swagger. His hands are balled into fists, ready for a fight, which is expected, a defense mechanism. If Steve looked at her the way he looked at Razor the second he walked in through the front door, Lauren would have prepared herself for a war too.
"Ray!"
"I can't, Lo," he says, finally turning to face her, elbows bent and hands resting at the back of his neck. "I couldn't last five minutes in your fancy house with your dad glaring at me and the way he says pizza boy and his girlfriend or whoever 'oh'ing at me not being down with Jesus. Your neighbors probably already called the cops when they saw my van parked in front of our house, probably thinking you're getting robbed! And it pisses me off that I can't change any of this. It's just who I am, Lo. I'm a pizza boy."
Her sweet, carefree Razor reduced to this mix of insecurity and pride, it kills her to see him like this.
"Right. That is who you are. And I'm legit crazy," Lauren admits. She doesn't do it often. She probably never will in front of the other girls at the Rock. Plus, they'd probably agree that insecure and psychotic are more appropriate synonyms anyways. Whatever. "Who cares what everyone thinks?"
"I care," Razor argues. "Because they love you and you love them and I want them to love me, but that seems like a lost cause."
Lauren rolls her eyes. "Well, they're just going to have to deal because I love you."
Her heart gives an unexpectedly harsh thud when she realizes what she just said. The fuck must be written across her face because Razor stares at her, shocked, and Lauren doesn't have the time to mask it. Honestly, they haven't been dating for that long. This is the first time she's brought him over to meet her dad and Summer and she doesn't think he's ever mentioned even having a family before. But she does feel something for him, something strong and undeniable, and whether or not that's love, Lauren hasn't really figured it out, but apparently her lips are way ahead of her brain.
"I mean…I don't…I—"
"You mean it?" Razor asks, looking right in her eyes and taking both her hands in his.
Lauren looks down a moment, organizing her thoughts, before she answers, "Maybe. I could."
"I could too." He holds her gaze for a long moment and a smile slowly crosses his face. After giving her cheek a kiss, Razor takes her hand and leads her back over to the front door, saying, "Come on, let's go show them how we do."
Lauren knows how close he was to running and she honestly wouldn't have blamed him if he got into his van and just drove away without a glance back. But, no, he's here and he's holding her hand and giving Steve and Summer the biggest grin he possibly can, telling them that nothing, not even a burnt down apartment building can stop him from being here with them for dinner. Lauren knows there are a million places he'd rather be, but he's here, enduring mind numbing small talk and crippling judgment for her, and no one in her life has ever done that for her before. Razor is her first.
A/N: I've been into this thing lately where I write couples in complicated yet in a weird, twisted way stable relationships. Tell me if you like it. If you do, I might write the dinner scene. Awkward fest? You bet. Razor being adorable. Obvs. Please review and let me know what you think.
Xoxo