Chapter 2: existence
Outside it was almost dark, with the wind blowing a nice cool breeze through the trees. The tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. The sun was beginning to set as the village began to wind down, however not everyone was packing it in for the night. The young green eyed boy stared at Gaara in shock.
"Your Gaara… that means you're the Kazekage," he said wondering what the leader of the village would be doing wandering around one of the worst places in the village.
Gaara looked at him with interest answering, "Yes I am, but you haven't told me what your name is?"
The boy looked tired as he leaned back against the wall, and then dropped his kunai to the floor. He decided he could drop his guard when he found out who was standing before him.
"My name is Amon," the boy said in a calm respectful voice.
Nervously he sat down and began to stare at his feet not knowing what to say or do. Amon wasn't scared because he's not that kind of kid, but he was nervous because how often does a kid like him gets a chance to speak to the Kazekage.
"I see … so Amon why are you out here training so late?" Gaara broke his chain of thought.
Amon froze for a second trying to think of what to say then he let out a little nervous chuckle, "Well I'm trying to train for the upcoming chunin exams. I need to get stronger."
Gaara looked at the mess around him; so many ninja tools lying on the ground. He was surprised the boy would be training so hard with exams still so far away. Shuriken everywhere as well as kunai and if you look closely you could see destroyed pieces of rock about 30 feet away from their position. This means he had also been using paper bombs to train with.
"Impressive but where are all your friends?" Gaara said with curiosity.
Amon looked the blue eyed red head in the eyes and said "I don't have any." He honestly didn't mind being by his self.
"Why is that?" Gaara answered quickly as he sat down next to the boy.
"Well I'm an orphan so it's always been kind of hard for me to make friends but who needs friends anyway," The boy stood up with anger.
"Who needs friends, when strength is the only thing that matters in this world? And with my strength I will prove to the world my existence!" Amon said with determination, "I'll crush anyone who gets in my way" he finished determined. If they had met three years ago you could say Amon was having a Gaara moment. "I'll show them all I will become one of the sand's strongest shinobi," the young orphan balled his right hand into a fist then pointed his opposite hand to the sky. "Once I become Kazekage that is," he finished with a huge Naruto smile.
When Amon finished Gaara just sat there with a blank face for about a minute. It was like he was looking at his old self; except for the fact that this kid didn't kill for pleasure like he used to. Actually, Amon reminded him more of Naruto Uzumaki, except this kid had better manners of course.
Finally the Kazekage decided to break the silence "Amon how old are you?"
The black haired kid looked at him after he settled down he replied, "I'm 12," he said as he slowly sat down again.
Interesting enough he was the same age Gaara was when he met Naruto. During that time Gaara didn't think much of Naruto till they fought at the Chunin Exams.
Flashback (Chunin Exams)
The person Gaara had his eye on was Saskue Uchia, the famed rookie ninja. He thought by killing such a strong opponent he can truly feel alive. However, Saskue couldn't handle Gaara in his true form so he ended up fighting against Naruto. After Naruto defeated him they both lied on the floor exhausted in the forest of the Leaf Village. They both were drained of their chakra but Naruto wouldn't quit, he started dragging his body towards Gaara with determination.
The psychotic child stared at him thinking to himself what makes him so strong? I will not disappear I will not cease to exist, I won't! The 12 year old red head became flustered. The blond haired genin kept dragging himself towards him.
"Stay away!" Gaara yelled as Naruto dragged his body closer and closer.
"It's almost unbearable isn't it? The feeling of being all alone," Naruto said sadly.
Gaara's eyes widened.
"I've been there in that dark and lonely place, but now there are others, other people who mean a lot to me," He said with a small smile on his face.
"I care more about them than I do myself and I won't let anyone hurt them. That's why I will never give up… I will stop you… even if I have to kill you!" The blue eyed blond yelled with as much anger and passion he could muster.
"But why…why would you do this for anyone but yourself?" Gaara said in a clueless voice trying to understand the reasons behind Naruto's actions.
"Because they saved me from myself, they rescued me from my loneliness. They were the first to accept me for who I am," He said as kept dragging closer to Gaara determined to finish him off.
"They're my friends," Naruto said as he finished his explanation.
Gaara thought back to what his Uncle Yashamaru said when he was a he turned and stared into the sunlight surrounded by trees he saw an image of his dead uncle appear.
"Love is the desire to serve someone precious to you, to watch over them like my sister did for you Gaara," Yashamaru's illusion said as it vanished from Gaara's sight.
"Love… is that the thing that makes him so strong?" Gaara asked himself.
END FLASHBACK
Once Gaara remembered that he knew he wanted to help the young boy. He looked at the orphan standing in front of him.
There must be something I can do to prevent him from walking down the wrong path he thought.
"Amon you need more than your own strength to be strong, as weird as that may sound its true," he stated.
Amon looked back at the Kazekage in disbelief. The only people who got what they wanted were the ones who used force; well at least that's what the young orphan witnessed throughout his life.
"What else do I need?" the child asked with eager.
"Well you need..." But before Gaara could answer the Kazekage started getting this strange feeling. Suddenly he looked towards the sky and saw it was dark out. Then he started slowly to remember where he was supposed to be at this moment. "Shit," he cursed himself under his breath when he realized what he forgot. He got up quick from his seat against the broken down building.
"Damn I'm late!" he picked up his gourd and strapped it back on his back.
"Late for what?" Amon asked wondering what could be so important at this time of the night.
The Kazekage wiped the dirt off his red coat and trousers quickly. He turned to the orphan and said, "Amon I'm sorry I have a training session with a pupil and it seems I'm a bit late."
Amon put his head down between his knees with his arms folded behind his head. He frowned because he felt like Gaara was actually listening to him when no one else would. He hadn't answered his question and it desperately needed an answer. Then he realized that he was acting like a brat in front of the Kazekage; the leader of the village. Quickly he lifted up his head and put on the brightest smile he could.
"It's okay sir I know you're a very busy person," he said with deceitful grin.
However Gaara saw right through his fake smile. "Amon… you don't have to hide your emotions," the 16 year old shinobi said with comfort.
The green eyed orphan was stunned he saw threw him, and felt bad.
"I'm sorry sir I just…" Gaara quickly interrupted him to correct him.
"Call me Gaara and don't worry I understand you better than you think," he said as a small smile tried to form on his face. "
You do?" The boy asked looking in shock not expecting the Kazekage to be so nonchalant.
He had heard rumors that the fifth Kazekage was a calm and quiet man, but he also heard bad rumors from his past while listening to other kid's conversations. But seeing him now in person he realized those rumors weren't true, well at least they weren't anymore. The boy stood up to speak.
"Well thanks for talking to me sir I mean Gaara," Amon quickly corrected himself.
Gaara grinned at the boy's nervousness then replied, "Your welcome Amon, if you ever need anything don't hesitate to ask."
He unfolded his hands, and then put his right hand out to offer Amon a handshake. Amon smiled with delight as he wiped the dirt of his hands on his grey shorts and ripped shirt, then he stuck his right hand out to meet his. Their hands gripped each other in friendship, not to rough but not too soft. After they released their hands Gaara gave him nod saying good bye. He then turned around to run north towards the training grounds. Before he can get too far an idea sparked in his head. He was thinking of what Amon said about his existence. But suddenly he stopped still facing the same way, and continued his thought for a few more seconds.
Amon noticed his sudden halt in movement, Why did he stop did he drop something?
The red head soon finish his thinking. "Amon!" he yelled from about 50 feet away still facing the same direction not turning to look back at the orphan.
"Yes Gaara," he said anxiously waiting to hear what the Kazekage had to say.
"I want you to be at the Kazekage office tomorrow morning we have some things to discuss," he said in a warm relaxing tone.
Then he took off fast to get to the training grounds to see Matsuri. Before Gaara could get too far he heard he heard the orphan yell
"Yes sir I'll be there!" with excitement in the boys response.
The Kazekage grinned at the fact that young boy slipped up and called him sir again. However Gaara didn't have time to address that he needed to get to Matsuri. Gaara ran as quick as he could.
"I'm late… damn maybe I shouldn't have taken my sweet time back there."
Sweating profusely he kept running as fast as he could. Two minutes later Gaara arrived at the training grounds. He hunched over grabbing his knees and began to breathe hard.
Dammit all… when did I get out of shape? he thought while trying to stand up straight to slow down his breathing.
Walking over to brick wall he leaned against it to relax.
"Well…I guess I'm too late, she must have got frustrated and left, I'm such an idiot." He said with disappointment.
The truth of the matter is the young red head got side tracked with other things. Playing soccer with children, walking through the village, and conversing with an orphan doesn't sound like a good excuse he thought.
"Well your right about the last part!" a familiar female voice came from above.
Gaara moved from the wall to turn and look on the roof. Above him sat a girl with beautiful dark eyes, short brown hair and fair skin. The girl wore a familiar dark skirt with a flak jacket and her sand shinobi forehead protector.
"Matsuri?" Gaara said surprisingly, questioning why the girl didn't go home.
She quickly jumped down from the roof top, but landed gracefully on the soft sand showing off her perfect balance.
She looked him in the eye with a smirk and said "So what took you so long Gaara sensei?"
The red head began to say something but his beautiful pupil interrupted him.
"You had me worried for a moment I thought something might have happened to you," the tone of her voice changed to more of caring nature.
"I'm sorry Matsuri. I just had some things I needed to take care of, please forgive my tardiness," he answered solemnly.
She glared at him for five seconds with frustration written all over her body. She kept moving her heal up and down showing her teacher her frustration. Suddenly she tilted her head slightly as a smile came on her face.
"Okay," she said as if nothing ever happened.
Gaara looked at her with mild confusion then said, "Thank you," trying to show his gratitude.
He unstrapped his gourd from the front of his vest, and then placed it on the ground. After that he stood up straight looking at his brown haired student with his expressionless face and arms folded in his usual stance.
Calmly he asked, "Shall we begin?"
Matsuri looked at him with disappointment. The fact is she had been waiting for about an hour and she already begun to train without him. First she warmed up an hour before they were supposed to begin by stretching her body and meditating. After that she worked on her ninjutsu for a while, learning new ways to manipulate her chakra. When she was done with her ninjutsu, her best friend Sari came by and they had a sparring session.
She explained this to her teacher hoping he would be able to understand the situation, since he was the one who was late. Even though she was exhausted the true reason Matsuri didn't want to train was so her and Gaara could spend some alone time together that didn't involve a whole lot of movement. Unless of course it was a sweaty activity that ended with pleasure radiating from both of their bodies. The brown haired genin blushed at the thought of them being that intimate with each other. She has actually had a crush on her him for quite some time and she had been waiting for the right moment to share these feeling with her crush. Every ninja who was around the age range of Matsuri knew of her feelings. Hell even Temari and Kankuro new, but their blind little brother had no clue. She loved everything about him from his calm cool exterior to his spiky red hair. She also loved the tone of his deep voice when he talked to her, it always made her knees shake.
Gaara nodded and said, "Very well then why don't we just relax and take it easy today, besides I want to talk to you about something anyway."
Matsuri opened her eyes in surprise as she began to smile brightly, does he want to talk about taking their friendship a bit further? Then she shook her head trying to snap herself out of it. As much as she would like that she was sure that's not what he wanted to talk about.
"Follow me," he said casually as he turned around and began walking in the opposite direction.
So she did still wondering where he would be taking her. About a minute later they ended up in a familiar she looked around at her surroundings and was shocked that he brought her this place.
With her mouth open wide she said, "Gaara-sensei, this is the place you gave me my first training session? You showed me how to use a javelin."
Gaara looked at her then nodded slowly, "That is correct."
"What are we doing here?" she asked trying to understand the situation.
Gaara looked up at the moon and gazed at it for a moment. He always loved full moons they made him feel good, they were peaceful to him. Still staring at the moon he answered her question, "I brought you here because I thought it would be the perfect place for us to talk."
Matsuri noticed her sensei always like to stare at the moon when it's full even before he became the Kazekage. She smiled at the fact she got to see leader of the village and her crush in such peaceful way.
"The moon its beautiful tonight isn't it?" she said trying to start some conversation.
"Yes it is," he replied turning to focus his attention on his student.
Matsuri was tired so she sat down and leaned her back against one of the stone wall behind her. She had been training for hours so she wanted to get off her feet for a little bit.
"Gaara-sensei you said you had something important you wanted to talk to me about right?"
The Kazekage looked down at her with a serious look on his face "Yes I do'" he replied slowly.
Matsuri looked at him with her dark alluring eyes. She was trying to think of a way to get him closer. Suddenly a light bulb went ding above her head, she had an idea. As she continued staring at him she opened her mouth to suggest something.
"Okay sensei but before we get started you should sit down and relax," she said in an innocent voice as she patted her hand on the spot next to her.
Gaara stared at Matsuri with suspicion on his face but decided there could be no harm in sitting next to her. So he turned his body around and slowly sat down next to brown haired girl.
"You comfortable?" she asked feeling accomplished by getting him to sit next to her.
Wasting no time Gaara started to speak his mind, "Matsuri how has your solo training been going?" he asked knowing that he's been too busy to train with her on a regular basis.
Actually the Kazekage has been too busy to train with her since he got back from a month ago. This has been their first session in about two months but he promised her a week after he got back that they would train today.
Matsuri replied, "It's been going. Well my taijutsu has gotten better and my medical ninjutsu has also improved," she said with satisfaction.
He grinned at her progress, "Good because I want you to be ready for the Chunin Exams in 5 months," he said slowly.
She looked at him with shock then replied, "Gaara-sensei are you serious?" She was surprised in his confidence in her.
"Of course you've gotten much stronger in the past two years, besides you're a year older than me it's time you took the test," He told her nonchalantly.
Matsuri looked away and stared at the ground with uncertainty. She knew her skills had improved but she couldn't help but think I could be so much stronger. Gaara's right I'm fucking 17 and I'm still a genin, she thought to herself.
As she stared at ground in despair she felt a hand slowly rest on her shoulder. She lifted her head up in surprise and saw her teacher looking at her with a grin on his face.
"I have nothing but faith in you Matsuri I know you will succeed."
At that moment the brown haired girl felt overwhelmed with emotions. She felt so happy by what her teacher had said. He was the only man who gave her such confidence and energy. Before she knew what she was doing she lunged over to hug him.
Gaara gave her a look that said "what the hell are you doing woman?" but she paid it no mind as she wrapped arms around him gently. The red head just sat there not moving a muscle. He was kind of uncomfortable, but at the same time it felt kind of good, because he was not use to this type of affection. As she started to squeeze him tighter he could feel her body rubbing against his. Her scent was strong but it smelt good like peaches, he thought to himself. His heart began to beat a little faster as each moment passed. His stomach started getting this warm feeling that was obviously foreign to the sand shinobi. Gaara decided to saysomething, so the situation wouldn't get to awkward.
"You don't have to call me sensei anymore," Gaara said in a relaxed tone.
When Matsuri heard him say that, she slowly released her hands from around him, "Why not?"
Slowly he began to fix his vest, running his hands threw his clothes like an iron. His clothes had gotten wrinkled from that hug he had received.
"We are no longer teacher and student," he said calmly, "You may still be a genin but you have the strength of a chunin, we are now equals."
The genin gave him a puzzled look then faced her head towards the ground again, she was lost for words. Truthfully she didn't know how to feel about what he said. She was happy that he acknowledged her skills, but at the same time she couldn't help but feel a little sad that she wouldn't be able to spend time with guy she had feelings for. She turned her head to the left to look a thim. She stared at him with those intense dark eyes of hers.
"So what do I call you then?" she asked in a low voice almost mumbling the words.
Gaara raised his head up to look at the full moon again. He stared for a moment then closed his eyes to breathe in the cold desert air. Then he opened his eyes and exhaled, "Gaara will do," he replied slowly.
Matsuri nodded slowly then asked another question, "Will you still train me every now then?" she asked with hope in her eyes.
"Yes I'll train with you once a week, until the Chunin Exams so you'll have new jutsu to use in the exam finals," he replied while also giving her his reason.
Matsuri wanted to jump out of her skin with excitement but she didn't want to look foolish in front of the guy she had her eyes on. She rubbed her hands together in excitement with a huge smile on her face.
I can't wait! Maybe I can get to know him in other ways, she thought as perverted images crossed her mine. After she was done with her thoughts she turned to look at him. "So we're still friends Gaara?" she said as she inched over close to him.
Gaara stared at her with complete and utter confusion. Friend, he thought to himself still not fully use to the word. He never new she thought of him in that manner. To him he thought they were just teacher and student, no more no less. The young man felt that warm feeling he had felt a couple minutes ago. His heart began to beat faster as he started to become nervous. Slowly he turned his face away from her towards the moon so he could calm down. Finally his heart seemed the slow down a bit.
"Of course," he replied trying to sound as calm as possible.
Matsuri giggled at her former teacher noticing how uncomfortable he thought it was cute to see the legendary Gaara of the desert, the village's Kazekage so nervous. She started to wonder to herself has he ever been this close to a girl.
She looked at her calm leader and asked, "Have you ever been out with girl, Lord Kazekage?" As she asked as she scooted even closer to him.
His cheeks turned red and his blue eyes started wondering in all directions trying not to look at the girl.
"Uhh…no I haven't," he replied slowly while his head with embarrassment.
Then suddenly he thought back to what his brother said earlier about Matsuri and him. Could Kankuro have be right? He thought to himself. As much as he hated to admit he knew there was strong chance she did like him. A lot of young girls have taken a liking to him since he became the Kazekage, but Matsuri has been the only one who had been nice to him when decided to change his lifestyle three years ago. Unfortunately, too much time had already passed and Gaara needed to get some rest for his busy day tomorrow so he couldn't ask the questions he desired.
"I think it's time we head home; a young girl shouldn't be out this late even if she is a kunoichi," he said softly with a small grin as he slowly stood up.
Then he reached his hand out in offer to help out. The young girl blushed at his gesture nodding her head while giving him her hand. Gaara quickly pulled her up using too much strengthnot knowing she was that light causing her body to fly right into his. Next thing he knew his right arm was wrapped around her lower back. Her left hand gently resting on the left side of his chest as she slowly looked up at him. Their bodies tight against each other, both of their eyes meeting one another in a mesmerizing gaze. Matsuri's face turned the color of a cherry. She always dreamed of being in his arms but she never thought it would happen this soon. I can't believe he's holding me what do I do? she thought to herself.
On the other hand Gaara's body began to go through the same process it did before. He can feel his heart beating even faster than it did before. That warm feeling in his stomach appeared, he even began to grow a little in his pants which was rare for Gaara since he never really went looked at woman in a perverted manner. What the hell is going on what's happening to me? he thought to himself, still gazing into her beautiful black eyes.
Matsuri on the other had slowly begun to lean her head in for kiss. What…what the hell is she doing? he thought franticly. The red head new he enjoyed the close body contact, but he also knew as the Kazekage it was inappropriate. But most of all he was…scared? Finally he managed to calm himself down to address the situation. He didn't want to just break away from her and run off because that would obviously hurt her feelings.
Luckily he was used to being around sister who happened to be an emotional woman behind her tough exterior. So he decided to take a more gentle approach. Gaara lifted his right hand that was resting on her lower back and placed it on the back of her head touching her short brown hair. Slowly he began to caress her thin hair.
"Matsuri," he whispered in a soft caring voice which caught her off guard.
Her lips froze right before reaching his, but still she didn't move. She wanted to stay as close to his lips as possible, so she could follow through with her previous intentions as soon as he finished talking.
"Yes Gaara?" she asked as she began to rub her smooth hands on his chest slowly.
He took a deep breath to inhale the cold crisp air so he could relax as the girl kept moving her hands up and down his slim yet muscular frame. Slowly he exhaled through his nose, while still stroking her hair then he opened his mouth to speak.
"Matsuri I'm sorry but we can't," he said softly feeling a small…ache in his chest.
His words caught her off guard. She thought they were going to share a romantic kiss and perhaps he would carry her to his mansion to make her feel like a woman. After hearing this she moved her lips away from his, but their bodies still against one another.
"As much as I wouldn't mind…I can't" he said painfully, "If I could I would however…"
She was still in shock, her whole body seemed frozen in place, but her eyes were wide open.
"Please understand," he said then he removed his hand from her hair then placed it lightly on her shoulder, "Again I'm sorry," the blue eyed teen repeated to reassure his sympathy.
Then he removed his hand from her shoulder and proceeded walking over to the right side of the building where his gourd was. He knelt down to pick it up then quickly strapped it on. Matsuri was still trying to process everything that was going on. First they were talking, then they were holding each other about to kiss, And now? she thought to herself. What the hell happened? I was so close to showing him how I felt… her thoughts continued. The brown haired girl snapped out of her reverie to see her crush walking towards his home.
"Gaara wait!" she yelled abruptly.
He stopped for a minute, and then turned his head slightly to the right looking at her out of the corner of his eye.
Before she can even begin to speak he said "I have to go farewell."
His body started slowly disintegrating into sand. Before he could fully disolve into sand he gave her a friendly smile that said good bye as he blew away in to the night. Matsuri watched the sand heading towards the Kazekage mansion.
She stood there by herself not knowing what to do. She had just missed the best opportunity to let him know how she felt. She dug her hand into her left pocket then pulled out the rope-javelin Gaara had given her the day they first became student and sensei. The dark eyed girl stared at it with intensity then she quickly gripped it making wooden handle whine in protest. A small smile formed on her face, as she looked up at the moon. "I'm not done with you yet… Gaara-sensei!" she softly swore to herself before heading home for the night.