A/N: Oh wow, two chapters in a week? I'm on a roll! Again, I also owe much of this to my lovely beta, horselover97 (thank you so much!). This chapter may seem a little dark and ominous (her words) but don't worry, things are gonna start to pick up next chapter, which might be up in a week.
Again, for those of you who have followed and commented, thanks a bunch. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter and don't forget to review!
The next time Castiel opens his eyes, he is disappointed to see that he isn't in fact dead. He is, however, on a hospital bed with a drip attached to his wrists. He is not too badly hurt, just sore in a few places but still, his head hurts, just thinking about the bill he is running up. He has no means of paying, his brothers had after all, cut him off and his joint bank accounts are all frozen. That was just another way for them to teach him a lesson. Since he doesn't seem to need any more attention, Castiel decides that it is time he escapes from here. He knows that running off without paying his bill is probably illegal but it has been long since he cares about this kind of stuff. So he rips off the drip and steals some hospital scrubs. He then slowly makes his way out through the back, certain that nobody has seen him.
Just when thinks that he has made it, he crashes into somebody and he flinches as his sore muscles scream in pain.
"You again?"
Castiel definitely recognizes that voice and he immediately looks up, shocked to see the man from last night.
"Ah, shit. Those nurses are looking our way. Run!"
Castiel follows the instructions thrown at him, running behind the man. They manage to make it far away from the hospital when they slow down to catch their breath.
"I'm Dean, by the way," the man pants out.
Castiel nods and says, "My name is Castiel, Castiel Novak."
Dean rolls his name on his tongue, "Castiel? That's a weird name. Can't I just call you Cas?"
Castiel stiffens at that, it is what his father used to call him. "No you may not," he bites out sharply.
Dean simply smirks at that and says, " Okay, sheesh, whatever. Anyway what happened to you? It looks like you've just been run over by a truck."
Castiel nods in reply and tells him that it wasn't a truck, just a really fast car. Dean raises his eyebrows at that. Then Castiel points his head to the hospital tag around his wrist and asks him why he was at the hospital. Dean smiles humorlessly and says, "Yeah, well I tried jumping again, but I slipped and hit my head. Stupid, I know. It seems that the universe is just fucking with us. It just doesn't seem to let us die."
Castiel shivers a little at the way Dean's voice goes dark and emotionless. Dean notices it but thinks its because he's cold.
"Those flimsy scrubs aren't doing much to protect you against the cold are they?" then he hesitates before saying, "My apartment is just a block away, want to come over for some hot coffee?"
Castiel thinks it's strange that a man would invite a complete stranger for coffee for no apparent reason but he cannot hide his gratitude for such an offer. He gives a tentative nod, which makes Dean grin.
He follows after Dean who leads him to a flat not far away. He is surprised when Dean doesn't go in through the entrance but instead finds himself at the alley behind. His hackles rise a little; he thinks that maybe he shouldn't have accepted the offer after all. But Dean takes one look at his tense shoulders and laughs in a way, which seems friendly.
He then pulls down the fire escape ladder and point to it. "I never have my keys with me," he explains. "This way is easier anyway."
Castiel glances at the rusty ladder that creaks and groans and he doubts that. Still he grips tight onto the railing and climbs up, with Dean close behind.
"Anyone tell you you've got a nice ass?" Dean calls out cheekily. Castiel blushes at that, remembering how thin the hospital clothes are.
"I'm really loving the view from here," he continues to tease him.
They finally reach the tenth floor and Dean pushes open the window with a grunt. He then crawls in. Castiel follows after, but at the last minute stumbles and almost falls flat on his face. Dean holds him strongly by his arms until he is steady on his feet again, but still Castiel wishes that Dean won't stop touching him.
"This way doesn't seem safe at all," Castiel mutters.
Dean hears him and shrugs. "It's not like I have anything worth stealing here anyway."
Castiel takes a look around the apartment. It is messy, with clothes strewn all over the place. There are no photographs, except one. It has a couple in it with two little boys hanging from their father's shoulders. Castiel thinks the older boy looks like Dean, with the same green eyes and a smattering of freckles all over his cheeks.
"Here, Cas."
"Its Castiel," Castiel takes the mug of coffee from Dean's hands and relishes the taste as he sips. It has been almost two days since he had a proper meal and the bitter coffee seem to reawaken his taste buds.
He looks up to see Dean looking at him strangely and he blushes.
"Not to pry or anything," Dean hesitates, "but back at the bridge, was that... The first time you tried something like that?"
Castiel shakes his head but doesn't want to elaborate. Subconsciously, he wraps his palms around his arms so that it covers the marks on his wrists. Dean notices but doesn't say anything. Instead, he laughs bitterly and nods to himself. "It seems that no matter how hard we try, life just won't quit huh? It's as though..." he trails off and shakes his head even more. "It's like we're not supposed to die, like we've still got something holding us back here."
Castiel doesn't know what to say so he just nods. "I agree."
Dean stares into Castiel's eyes deeply. "Do you?" he asks softly.
Castiel is slightly thrown off by Dean's sudden change in tone and he shrugs. "I do not believe in fate or destiny, but I suppose that such a thing is possible," he elaborates.
Suddenly, Dean is much closer to him and although he should, Castiel does not feel uncomfortable. "I don't believe in hoodoo stuff like that either. But there is something stopping us." Dean's eyes are lit up dangerously and they start to shift. "Don't you want to find out?"
Castiel is curious, so he asks, "What do you propose exactly?"
"Another attempt," Dean states simply. At Castiel's confused expression, he goes on to explain. "We'll go swinging at death again, and if we die, then hey, mission accomplished. But if we don't, we'll know we have something more to do yet."
The plan is ridiculous, yet Castiel finds himself thinking about it. He begins to understand that Dean is a troubled soul and that he must have gone through something awful to become so bitter. He thinks that maybe Dean's plan isn't so bad, a way to test fate. Castiel has also gone through many trials in these few months and he supposes that it would be assuring to know that maybe he still has something better to look foreword to. The worst-case scenario he manages to come up with is actually succeeding in dying and since that's what his original plan was in the beginning, it doesn't sound too bad.
Against his better judgment, Castiel nods a soft yes.
They decide to keep things simple and just take an overdose of pills but they find out that the dosage Dean has is only enough to be fatal for just one person. They then get a little creative and turn up the gas stove. The two of then wait a while, and after a few minutes has passed by, they take out a lighter. The lighter is faulty and doesn't light up so they decide on matches. Holding their breaths and nodding solemnly to each other, they close their eyes as Dean's fingers strike the matchstick against the box. Castiel waits, and then waits a while longer. When no explosion happens, no burst of fiery heat, when not even a loud bang is heard, both open their eyes to see just a small flame dancing at the end of the matchstick. They look at each yet and immediately jump up in search of paper, or anything that could help spread the fire. It is when Dean is cursing furiously and fiddling with the knobs of the stove when Castiel eyes the price of paper that he finds on the counter.
"Dean, what's this?" he asks as he shows it to him. "It's says here that you haven't paid the bill for a month, so they've cut off your gas supply."
Dean's eyes widen and he flushes. "Well, its not like I cook much, so how was I supposed to know?" he huffs out.
Castiel doesn't say anything, but Dean snaps at him to stop staring and so he does. "Any more ideas?" Castiel asks.
Dean nods and says "one more."
He reaches into his kitchen cabinets and pulls out a box of plastic cling wrap. "Asphyxiation," he explains. He pulls out one end of the plastic and holds it up in front of Castiel's face. "If this doesn't work, we'll know for sure that maybe there is something that we haven't done yet."
Castiel looks at him and agrees. He feels the smooth fingertips touch his face before the clear plastic is slowly wrapped around his head, inch by inch. It is a very slow process and he taps his foot impatiently. Dean notices and snaps, "Hey, I'm going as fast as I can, it's not my fault your face is so long!"
Castiel almost let's out a snort of amusement but it is at that time that he finally feels the weight of the cling wrap pressing against his nose and mouth. He can't breathe anymore and slowly, he feels the oxygen being cut off and his lungs have begun to strain for more air. He doesn't have much time left so he quickly grabs the box from Dean's hands and starts on him. He has gone almost an inch down Dean's face when the last of the cling wrap is used. The both of them look at the empty roll in horror and then at each other. Within seconds, he can feel frantic fingers scraping against the layer of plastic around his face. Finally, the seal is broken and he finds himself taking in huge gulps of air.
"You're not dying and leaving me alive to face murder charges, you hear me?" Dean growls at him. But all Castiel can do is stare at him because they're both not dead. Despite their numerous attempts, they are still breathing. Castiel finally thinks that maybe Dean has a point.
He looks at Dean and asks slowly, "What should we do now?"
Dean looks down and nervously fidgets. "This sounds silly, and I don't know about you, but I've got a bunch of things that I want to do before I die, you know?"
"You mean like a bucket list?"
"Exactly. And I'd really like to do those stuff but it would kinda suck doing it alone..."
Castiel suddenly understands where the conversation is going and maybe it's because they've almost died together and he feels that they share something now, that he says, "Okay."
Dean seems taken aback. "Are you serious?"
Castiel thinks about Anna and nods firmly, with his mind made up.
"December 31st, new years eve. That gives us about two months. And when we're finally certain that we've done everything that we possibly can, we'll go back to that bridge to finish the job." Dean stares at Castiel. "Deal?"
Castiel doesn't know what he's getting himself into but still, he shakes Dean's hand and as he does, he feels a thrill going down his spine. He's never done anything this spontaneous before and he supposes that he'll finally do something insane right before he dies.
He reckons its fitting.