A/N: It occurs to me that I have the worst chapter names in the history of ever... But you guys are so sweet xD You don't even question it.

Chapter 2: The Worst Kidnapper Ever

"I'm coming in."

"Ah! No - wait!" Orihime's protests came too late as the door pushed open and Ulquiorra entered. His eyes flickered towards her as she hastily pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs and hunching over in embarrassment. Her wet hair clung to her back, only the tips floating ghost-like in the filthy water.

"Ul-Ulquiorra-san!" she exclaimed, earning a prolonged glance as he set a bundle of grey and brown cloth on the toilet seat. His eyes lingered on a droplet of water slipping down her throat. "You can't just...just walk in like that! I could have been..." She blushed, trailing off uncertainly and averted her eyes. "You know..." she mumbled.

Ulquiorra straightened up, fixing her with a loaded stare. "I told you I would be bringing your clothes."

She heard the unspoken reprimand to stop making a scene, but refused to back down. "I know, but you can't just say 'I'm coming in'," she lowered her voice in imitation of his deep baritone, "And then not even give me time to do anything about it. Then there's no point!"

His frown deepened after her impression of him. "Do not mock me." That seemed to be all he was interested in saying on the issue before he stepped towards her. Orihime pushed herself further into the water, eyes widening. Immediately, he halted his approach, studying her carefully. Orihime was unable to stop her trembling and goosebumps erupted over her exposed skin.

There was your normal, everyday nervousness when dealing with Ulquiorra - the kind of nervousness that only a very impressive kind of person could get away with not feeling. And then there was this. As if with every second he looked at her she became more and more aware of her naked flesh, half convinced that he could see right through to her insides. She lowered her gaze, thoroughly intimidated, as she always was when he stared at her for so long. No one else in her life had ever looked at her like that - as if she was utterly and completely the center of attention.

God, she had never ever been naked in front of a boy before other than her brother and now for it to be Ulquiorra of all people...

Once again, she had the urge to bombard him with questions - why was she there? How was he alive? What did he want? But it certainly wasn't the right time or place for that. To think before she'd woken up she'd been with Ishida-kun, happier than she'd been in a long time, and now she was naked in a bath tub with a man that made Bykuya-san seem warm and approachable.

Ohhhh, If he stood there for much longer looking at her like that it wouldn't matter what he wanted her for, she'd die of embarrassment.

"It seems you are confused again."

Orihime blinked, meeting his green eyes with a puzzled frown. "Wha-?" Her bewilderment cleared as she picked up on his sarcasm, referencing their earlier conversation. She huffed, doing her best to ease the undoubtedly stressed look on her face. "I'm not afraid. I...I'm uncomfortable."

She realized immediately how lame that sounded, and he obviously agreed judging by his unimpressed silence.

"Well how am I supposed to feel with you looking at me like that?" she asked more loudly than she than intended, her blush of embarrassment slowly deepening into one of anger. "Are you trying to be scary on purpose?"

Orihime held his gaze defiantly, silently daring him to answer her. There was a tense moment in which she could only imagine what he was thinking as he looked at her.

And then his eyes drifted away. "...Ridiculous," he said rather vaguely, before turning on his heel and exiting without another word.

The moment the door closed behind him, Orihime slumped back into the tub and let out a loud, embarrassed groan, only realizing a second too late that Ulquiorra must have heard it.

This was ridiculous. How on earth was she supposed to keep up with his weird mood swings? He'd seemed so understanding and peaceful and sad in his final moments. She had been undeniably dismayed by his death. He had been an enemy, there had been no choice but to fight him. But that hadn't made it any less tragic to see someone so obviously confused and struggling to understand human emotions pass away.

But all of that had seemingly disappeared around the same time he had. There was no gentle acceptance in his cold eyes now. Maybe there never had been and she'd imagined it? Orihime rose from the tub, wrapping herself in the towel hanging on a wooden rail on the wall. All she knew was that he'd seemingly returned to his old habit of looking at her as if she were the most infuriating puzzle in the world.

Oh, it was nothing she would have noticed if she weren't the one being subjected to it. She knew she was no warrior, and certainly had no useful skills when it came to important things like protecting her friends and fighting in wars. But Inoue Orihime also knew that she had an observational gift when it came to people and their behavior. Perhaps Ulquiorra might have remained a mystery to her despite this, but certainly not now that he was targeting her for...something or other.

It was in the way his eyes pinned her in place, the subtle movements in his face as he observed her, the way he always seemed slightly restless in her presence, moving around a lot, unable to stand still. As if he just wanted to pace around her, circle her like a predator.

She felt it in the air whenever he was close to her, ever since the day she had sworn her fealty to Aizen-sama. An unnerving amount of...intent.

It was almost funny - a mere human teenager being a source of so much frustration to a powerful, aloof guy like Ulquiorra. Almost.

Because if for whatever reason he decided that he couldn't solve her...

He'd probably break her.

Uryuu did not like his current predicament. Not one bit.

Gathered together in the Captain's Assembly Hall were several major participants in the war against Aizen Sousuke, some of them still covered in a fair amount of blood and dirt. The situation was serious enough to postpone healing any non-lethal injuries, and only Captain Unohana and Captain Hitsugaya were notably absent. Rangiku stood in her captain's place, looking pale and haggard, her eyes still red and puffy, face stained with tears.

And the atmosphere was only getting more unhappy by the minute.

"Ishida Uryuu," came the gravelly old voice of Captain-Commander Yamamoto, whom Uryuu stood before, "Based on the evidence at hand, it is clear that Inoue Orihime is indeed the traitor we suspected her to be."

"She is not!" he protested, taking an angered step towards the aged man, though he really should have seen this reaction coming. Around him, the assembled members of Sereitei seemed to grimace in unison, every person who had ever had any contact with Orihime immediately disliking the pronouncement. "Inoue-san was kidnapped again, it's the only explanation!"

Uryuu caught Renji and Rukia sharing a silent look, both of them clearly only remaining silent due to the stoic presence of the sixth squad captain, standing calmly between them. Uryuu grit his teeth, but shook his head slightly at the female Kuchiki, watching her settle reluctantly in place. There was no need for those two to be making a scene now, he knew they would have his back if worse came to worst.

"You have said nothing that would support that statement. By your own words, you were struck from behind and rendered unconscious. You have already said that the girl was not in your line of sight at the time."

Uryuu immediately returned his attention to the elder Shinigami, forcing himself to remain calm. He performed the familiar gesture of pushing his glasses further up his nose, taking a soft breath before answering. "I never implied that she was the one who attacked me - I only said that I didn't see what happened to her."

"But you did say that you felt no threats in the area at the time of the attack," Captain Ukitate interjected mildly.

Uryuu hesitated, nervous that even the kindly captain of the thirteenth division seemed willing to use his own words against him. "That means nothing - anyone could have masked their reiatsu and snuck up on us."

"Do you know why you would have felt no threats, boy?" Yamamoto asked.

Ishida had a feeling he wouldn't like the answer the Captain Commander intended to give.

"Because there were no threats - none that you perceived as threats in any case. All of Aizen's army have already been accounted for."

"Based on whose information?" Uryuu growled.

Yamamoto conveniently ignored his question, instead firing back one of his own. "If you do indeed believe that Inoue Orihime was kidnapped once again, who do you suggest was responsible? Did any Arrancar take excessive interest in her?"

Uryuu shuddered, several faces flashing before his eyes. "There were one or two, yes. But they're all dead now."

"I see."

Uryuu scowled, clearly seeing where the old man was going. "That doesn't mean she wasn't taken by someone else. Inoue-san...there's no way she would have sided with them. They tormented her. As soon as Aizen gave word that she was no longer useful, she was attacked." He hesitated. "And...and there's no way she would have attacked me, either. Inoue-san barely defends herself, even when her life is in danger, because she hates the thought of hurting another person so much. The thought that she would have attacked me...it's ridiculous to even contemplate!"

Yamamoto was silent for a long moment, before he gave a grave sigh. "I am sympathetic to your situation, boy. It was not so long ago that we of Seireitei found ourselves with a betrayal so unlikely, it too seemed laughable."

"This is nothing like that! Inoue-san...she's a genuinely good person - anyone who's ever spent time with her could attest to that!"

"Hinamori Momo once said something very similar about Aizen, her beloved Captain. Do you know what he did to her, boy?"

Uryuu reluctantly shook his head.

"He impaled her and left her for dead."

The Quincy swallowed heavily. "That's a sad story, but it means nothing. Inoue-san never tried to kill me."

Soi-Fon seemed to have reached her limit.

"Exactly!" she hissed, "Who else, ignorant child, who else in Hueco Mundo would have left you unconscious and alive? Who else would have had you at their mercy and not killed you were you lay?"

Uryuu's well of logic and reason had run dry. He felt himself grinding his teeth. "What is your motivation? Why won't you just believe that she was kidnapped?"

"Motivation?" Soi Fon glared at the young man, "Watch your tongue. The protection of Soul Society is Soutaichou's only-"

"Liar," Uryuu stated with a calm he did not truly feel. "If Inoue-san is a traitor, you and that freak show scientist of yours get to do whatever you want to her."

"Tch. Foolish Quincy," Mayuri said with a scoff, "I saved your life. Show some respect."

"As if that would make me forget..." Uryuu seethed, turning his head to glare at the golden-eyed scientist, "That you're the one who killed-"

"Ah, Quincy-san, is now really the time to be getting off topic?" It was the brown-haired captain in the pink haori that spoke up, clearly seeking to diffuse the situation. Uryuu took a deep breath. The man had a point. Once people began speaking about who killed who...things would get a lot more messy than they needed to be.

"Tell me," he began, narrowing his eyes once more on the eldest Shinigami, "Do you intend to take advantage of Kurosaki's current state?"

Yamamoto's aged face crinkled into a frown. "Kurosaki Ichigo has done Soul Society a great service. But," and here the Captain-Commander sent him a particularly stern look, "He is no longer in any condition to be making decisions."

"And yet you know damn well what his decision would be," Uryuu responded with a humorless smile, "And you know that he has friends - powerful friends - who know what it would be too. Some of them are in your ranks. I would caution you against making a hasty decision that will cause the events of Kuchiki-san's execution sentence to repeat themselves."

"Is that a threat?" Yamamoto asked, sounding almost weary.

"To those who are of the mind to see it, a warning and a threat are very different things. Consider this a warning. If you choose to handle this unwisely, there will be repercussions. And Seireitei is in no position to be handling any more drama."

Silence reigned for a long moment. And then Rukia's discipline went up in flames and she sent her older brother a long, pleading look. "Nii-sama..."

Had Kuchiki Byakuya been the kind of man who sighed, he looked like he might have done just that. But, perhaps due to Rukia's almost strategically timed plea right after Uryuu had mentioned her almost-execution, the noble instead stepped forward, meeting his commander's gaze evenly. "Soutaichou. Regardless of the girl's allegiance, surely her companions can handle such a small matter. Seireitei has more important things to do than meddle in human affairs." He sounded like he truthfully believed this.

Uryuu thanked whatever deity was out there for brotherly love. He would have bet his sewing kit that Byakuya gave less than a rats arse about Inoue-san. But at the request of his sister he had clearly, in his own politically-correct manner, declared which side he would fall on in this issue. He glanced around. Surely there were more who could help settle this in his favor. He locked eyes with Zaraki Kenpachi. Hadn't he once carried Inoue-san around on his back? As unnerving as the thought was, there perhaps, he might have an ally.

"Zaraki-taichou," he inquired. He needn't have said anymore, for the menacing Shinigami simply shrugged carelessly.

"Ichigo went out of his way to save that woman. Even if we found her guilty, we'd be his enemies if we tried to do anything about it." For a brief moment, Kenpachi's eyes lit up with excitement. "I wouldn't mind being on the end of his sword again, but..." He eyed those around him. "Something tells me I'd be the only one."

"Hoo boy, you've got that right," Kyoraku said with a slight smile.

"The fact still remains that she is a threat," Soi Fon said, "The nature of her powers could be very problematic if she is indeed siding with Aizen."

"Then allow me to offer a compromise." Uryuu stepped forward, addressing the room at large. "We won't ask for your assistance in finding Inoue-san, although we would appreciate it. You can be free to gather evidence on her all you like. The only condition will be that should you find her, or any information about her, you immediately inform us." His blue eyes flashed. "If you find enough to implicate her, I insist that you allow us to deal with it."

"Are we supposed to believe that you will be capable of dealing with her as a traitor?" Mayuri asked with a clear note of disdain, "Don't make me laugh."

Ishida scowled at the mere sound of his voice.

"Inoue-san is a human. She doesn't fall under your jurisdiction in any event. We will deal with her with human justice, not the warped monstrosity you people endorse."

Kyoraku waved a hand and chuckled slightly. "Well, insults aside, that sounds pretty reasonable to me. What do you say, Yama-jii?"

The eldest Shinigami was quiet for a moment, clearly considering what had been said. Uryuu knew what must have been running through his mind - Inoue-san was a treasured companion of the war hero Kurosaki Ichigo, whom, despite his current state, held far too much loyalty from the within the Gotei thirteen, as well as the Vizards, to cross without serious thought. There were those who would fight for Inoue-san on a personal level, but there were many more who would fight for her because of Ichigo or other loyalties. Picking a fight with those people would be the last thing Soul Society should want just then.

Uryuu knew the exact moment the ancient Captain gave in, his stooped shoulders seeming just a little more hunched. "Very well," he stated, "We shall refrain from declaring the girl a traitor until we have more information, all of which shall be filtered through to you humans." Yamamoto huffed. "I assumed we will be in contact with you through Urahara Kisuke." Clearly the thought annoyed him.

Uryuu nodded, not allowing the immense relief he felt to show on his face. "We'll be in touch." With one last glance at Rukia and Renji, he turned to leave, aware of the blatant disrespect he showed as he did so without a word. He didn't care. He would never be comfortable in a room full of Shinigami.

Had anyone stepped out into the corridor, they would have been met with the ridiculous sight of a fully clothed Inoue Orihime, tentatively poking her head - still wrapped in a worn looking blue towel - out of the bathroom door, wide grey eyes searching the dark for any signs of her captor. Seeing how no one appeared, she seemed to settle slightly, stepping out of the steam filled room.

The bath had been more pleasant than expected. She hadn't realized just how much blood and dirt had been clinging to her skin. Her uniform had been peeled off more than anything else.

The drab grey kimono she now wore was far less extravagant than her tattered white uniform, but also thicker and warmer. The house they were in was more than a little chilly, and the extra layers of cloth helped keep the cold at bay and made her feel more secure, less like her body was on display.

She pondered where to go next, giving what she suspected was the front door a longing look. Ulquiorra was nowhere in sight, but if she concentrated she could sense his and Grimmjow's reiatsu across the hall, behind the closed door she hadn't been inside yet. She wondered what they were doing, a corny line from one of her favorite horror movies flickering through her mind; 'It's quiet...too quiet.'

There was nothing to suggest that the two Espada were silently engaged in a battle to the death but maybe...if they had each other distracted, she could get a peek outside? The bathroom windows had been - rather ominously - boarded over from the outside, and only a slight whistling indicated that any air got in or out at all.

She wouldn't run away or anything, certainly not while Ulquiorra had her Rikka held hostage. Silently, she wondered if that had been his motivation more than anything to do with 'not underestimating her'. She was unaware of the childish scowl that crossed her face at the thought. He was always manipulating her.

Well whatever his reasoning, he couldn't keep her in the dark forever just because he had her powers. If she was really all alone with such dangerous people, it would be up to her figure her way out of the situation herself!

...Or maybe she was just trying to psych herself up into doing something stupid. Orihime deflated slightly.

Well, what else could she do? Knock on the door she knew Ulquiorra was in? Quietly go back to the room she was in before? Come to think of it...why had Ulquiorra dumped her in the kitchen anyway? Her eyes widened. He'd better not be trying to pull some weird beauty and the beast thing. The house was no castle but it did look like it could use a good dusting.

She shook her head. Real life, she had learned, was far more sinister. And so was Ulquiorra. Whatever her purpose here was, she doubted it had anything to do with housekeeping.

She made up her mind with a stern nod. She was going to find out just where the hell she was, whether he wanted to tell her or not.

Orihime had never before made a concerted effort to 'tip-toe', but she figured that there couldn't possibly be a better reason to try. The socks Ulquiorra had given her were thick and soft, helping to muffle her cautious steps. She braced one hand against the wall, using it to balance her as she snuck over the treacherously squeaky wooden floor. She furrowed her brow in concentration as she moved along, freezing in place for a good thirty seconds when a misstep caused a loud creak. She peered nervously over her shoulder, half expecting an angry Espada to burst through the door.

When she finally reached the front door she used a quivering hand to push it open, surprised to find that it wasn't locked.

Orihime stepped out onto a beautiful white landscape, and for a brief moment her heart leapt into her throat. It had seemed - if only for the second it took her eyes to adjust to the light- as if she were still in Hueco Mundo. She moved further away from the house, gazing around in awe. Mountains surrounded her, covered in glistening white snow and thousands of trees, many without leaves. Judging by the light, it was early morning. She shivered, clutching her new outfit to her and was immediately grateful that she was no longer in her ruined Arrancar uniform.

She exhaled slowly, watching the cloud of air form in front of her. Wherever they were, it wasn't there. That at least, was something to be grateful for. The atmosphere alone told her that she was in the living world - she was home. She breathed in deeply, the scent of pine and damp soil. The small house behind her had clearly been abandoned for a long time, judging by their surroundings. A few meters away there was a pile of neatly chopped wood that had become overgrown, a rusty axe blinking at her from beneath the leaves.

She felt a biting cold begin to pierce her socks, gasping in dismay as she realized they were getting wet.

"What are you doing?"

Orihime spun around, cheeks flushing. Ulquiorra stood a few steps away from the open doorway, pale skin almost blending with the snow. She immediately saw his eyes flicker up at the towel wrapped around her head, keeping her wet hair contained. She realized she must have looked slightly silly.

"...I just wanted to see outside."

She knew he was probably unhappy that she had left without permission. His stony expression didn't change at her explanation.

She placed a hand sheepishly behind her head, a nervous giggle falling from her. "I mean, ehehe, you don't really think I'd try to escape with a towel on my head, do you?"

He seemed to consider this for a moment and she caught his head tilting ever so slightly to the side as he regarded her. After a moment he said, "On the contrary, I believe you capable of all manner of foolishness."

Orihime winced internally. Ouch.

"Uh, okay, but I wasn't going to run or anything. It's just that the windows in the bathroom were boarded over and you wouldn't tell me when I asked so I figured I would go see for myself." She glanced around. "I still don't know where we are though...?"

"Northern Japan." Ulquiorra replied evenly, causing Orihime's eyes to widen in delight. "But don't get attached. We won't be staying here for long."

She frowned. "We won't? Why? Where are we going?"

"I haven't decided yet."

Orihime's jaw fell open and she gaped stupidly. "Wha- you don't even know?"

Ulquiorra didn't seem bothered by her incredulity. "We will be making a brief return to Hueco Mundo. I have some business to take care of there. After that, I will have to find a new destination in the human world where no one will search for us."

She lowered her head, staring at the snow and her now completely soaked socks in confusion. "I don't understand. Do you even have a reason for taking me? Why are you doing this?"

"Why does it matter?"

She gasped in disbelief, knowing full well that she was looking at him as if he were insane. "Why does it matter? It just does! If you don't have a reason for taking me and you don't even know where we're going then you...you!" She had no idea how to finish. Instead she stepped towards the unfazed Espada, glared up at him and jabbed an accusatory finger into his chest, barely aware of how his skin jerked beneath her. "Then you're officially the worst kidnapper ever!"

Ulquiorra seemed mildly perturbed by this accusation and easily caught her hand in his, refusing to release her even after she paled and tried to step away from him. "What are you talking about, woman? I have successfully removed you from your friends and secured you in my grasp." As if to make his point, his eyes rolled down to where he had her hand gripped firmly in his own, his fingers pressed into her palm. "What more is there to it?"

Orihime realized she was trembling, not quite sure how she had allowed herself to forget just who she was speaking to. Ulquiorra could crush the bones in her hands with no effort and hardly a second thought. Her eyes widened as the pad of his thumb brushed lightly over the back of her hand. "And besides," he added softly, as an afterthought, "I never said I had no reason for taking you."

She whimpered, unable to stop herself as the stress of her situation caught up to her. His eyes snapped up to hers at the sound, green depths unfathomable. "So," he murmured, "Which are you now? Confused...or uncomfortable?"

She averted her eyes, trying to calm the shaking of her hand where Ulquiorra held it to his chest. "Both. But I'm not afraid."

A single, slender finger dipped under her chin, curling lightly into her jaw and forcing her to look up at him, which she did with wide eyes, surprised at the unprecedented initiation of such intimate touch. "And tell me..." he began slowly, green orbs flickering over her face - in search of what she knew not. "If I were to break this hand," his fingers tightened their grip, almost - but not quite - painfully. "Would you be afraid then?"

Orihime felt her breath hitch in her throat, knew he could no doubt feel her pulse racing. The air between them felt electrified, and she realized that somehow they had been drawn closer together. She could feel the warmth from his body, a presence that felt so human, so normal and yet wasn't. His hair had fallen over his shoulder around his neck as he leaned over her. He was close enough that she could count the lashes around his eyes. There was an odd sensation in her stomach, as if a ball of nerves were causing all of her insides to clench. Would she be afraid if he followed through with his threat?

"Yes," she breathed, unable to look away, entire body suddenly incredibly hot at the confession. Ulquiorra's face flashed with an expression that she couldn't decipher.

"I see," he said. She wondered if he did. They were frozen in place like that for a moment, faces inches apart.

And then he suddenly released her and took a step back, his absence causing an icy chill to invade the space he had just occupied. Her hands curled into her chest and she watched him retreat, gaze alarmed and wary. He turned, watching her from the corner of his eye.

"Come back inside now. It's too cold for a human out here."

Orihime followed him into the house without another word, unable to shake the though that, on the contrary, she felt a bit too warm.

And...she was still wearing a towel on her head.

A/N: Man oh man...steamy.