He pulled away from her touch.
"Dammit!" he shouted. "I can't let you die. You hear me? You will not die in my arms. Don't do this to me! It should be me. It should be me and not you. You were supposed to grow up, have the life you always wanted. Oh god…" His every word was hushed, filled with anger and pain.
He should be the one under this car. Not Elena. She was a good person. The best person he'd ever known.
There were so many times that he was supposed to die, as a human and as a vampire. Last time he was on his death bed Elena was with him, she was strong, had faith in him. It was time to do the same for her.
He was terrified that she was going to leave him before he had a chance to make it right.
"Damon. Shhh. It's ok." Her words were barely recognizable. She was gasping for air after every syllable. She could feel the weight of the car pushing into her pelvis. She was no longer sure if her legs were attached to her body or if they were thrown a mile away. But she didn't care. She was dying. It was bound to happen. She'd always expected it to happen.
"I'm dying. And it's ok."
He was once told by an old friend that if you love someone, you tell them. You tell them even if you're scared that it's not right, even if you're scared that it will cause problems.
Even when you're scared that it will burn your life to the ground… you say it and you say it loud.
Well thanks, friend. He thought in his head, remembering all the times he had with Ric. I'm doing this for you buddy.
It was probably his only chance. The problem was that it was never right when it came to him and Elena, but something kept pulling him back to her. After all she kept him alive. Literally. Against all odds.
Elena was his humanity. And now she was… No...
"No! You are not dying because... Because I love you."
The words spilled out of his mouth without a second thought. There was no time for thinking. More importantly, there was no time for them. For he and Elena to have their day. Their 'right now.' And that thought broke his heart.
She smiled, or at least she tried to. That was the smile that made him fall in love with her. The only smile that could change his mood, his entire day even. She was the raging fire that melted the ice caps of the darkness inside his heart.
"Thank you for staying with me, Damon. You always stayed by my side even when you didn't have to... Even when we broke up, you still stayed."
That was true. The belief that they were toxic haunted him every day, but it didn't change the fact that he still cared. Nothing would ever change his feelings for her.