A/N: First of all, I would like to thank you all for the follows, favourites and reviews, I wasn't expecting this sort of response to the story, and I'm very grateful to everyone who took the time to read the prologue. I did want to address something that Rose wrote in her review about you guys investing your time and stuff and me not updating and not finishing my story. I will finish this story, but I can't guarantee a time that this will completed by and I can't say for definite that updates will be regular and I know that having to wait a long time for update is horrible and I'm really sorry if updates drag or whatever. But there are a lot of things going on at the moment and I'm in college as well which is hard and takes up a lot of time, and yeah I know I'm using excuses but I don't want you guys to think that the updates will be weekly and then let you down. At the moment I'm on summer break so they might be more often but I still have other stuff going on. But yeah, anyway, this is going to be different to the prologue so hopefully its okay and you all still like this.

CHAPTER 1

Callie lay, awake, in bed. It was the morning and everyone was up already getting ready for school and work. Aside from her. She was staring at the ceiling of her and Mariana's room while everyone was rushing round and arguing over the bathroom. She knew Stef, or Lena, or both would be up here soon, making sure she was okay, reminding her that she had her second chemo appointment at 10 and that Lena was taking her after she had dropped of the kids at school. She knew it already, they had reminded her several times yesterday and the day before that, and the day before that. And it wasn't likely at all that she was going to forget about that. After the first round, she hadn't been that bad, the nausea was only slight and she wasn't sick. It had made her tired but that was as expected and she had lost her appetite but it hadn't been bad at all, not compared to what she knew could be the side effects. And she knew that it was only going to get worse.

That was what she was lead there thinking about while Mariana was talking to her. Or at least talking, Callie wasn't sure whether she was talking to her to whether she was just muttering to herself about school or something. Mariana spoke to herself a lot, she just didn't like to admit it and often didn't realise she was doing it. Normally, Callie listened to what Mariana was saying, just because it was funny and she could use it to tease her later on. But she wasn't at the moment. She was thinking, and she was sure that her mind was in overdrive. Normally she was able to just stop thinking and ignore what was going on in her head, but not at the moment, and so Mariana's voice was just background noise. Which is why she didn't really realise when she left the room and Stef and Lena came up a few minutes later.

When Mariana had come down, she found that everyone else was already down their eating breakfast. They all had looked up at her, and then behind her expecting Callie to follow in afterwards but she didn't. Mariana had told them, while pouring herself some orange juice that she was still in bed which had caused a look to be exchanged between Stef and Lena, which didn't go unnoticed by the kids sat around the table.

They made sure that everyone was sorted with something to eat for breakfast and that they knew how long they had until Lena was taking them to school before making their way upstairs to Mariana and Callie's bedroom. They knocked, and when they got no answer the opened the door and peered in. They noticed Callie was awake, she just wasn't doing anything and they were unsure whether she had realised they were even there.

"Callie, sweets, how are you feeling?" Lena asked her, causing Callie to look over at them.

They looked so tired, and that was her fault, they were always up late at night worrying. They didn't think she knew, but she was awake as well and she had heard them talking. She remembered the worry in their voices, the way they were talking as if she wasn't alive anymore. They were worried about her physical health but she had heard them whispering, muttering, arguing, over her mental health. Lena had been worried about how much everything was affecting her and had wanted her to talk to someone, or at least find someone that she could talk to if things got any worse. But Stef had been opposed to the idea. Arguing that she wasn't going to just open up about everything, and they couldn't force her. She had tried to remind Lena how long it had taken her to start opening up to them, and that she hadn't completely yet, that she still didn't talk to them about how she was feeling. And she heard the fear in their voices. And she had felt totally guilty. She had caused them to be this worried, it was her fault that they were up arguing in the middle of the night.

And that's why she had gone back to bed. Because she hadn't really been meant to overhear, that wasn't her intention. She wanted, or rather needed, some comfort, some reassurance, because she was totally terrified. But if they found out they would have been even more worried and they would have been up longer. So she had returned to her own bed and she had lay there for hours listening as their voices got quieter and eventually there was silence, aside from Jesus' snoring. But she couldn't sleep, she was terrified. And now she was worried about everyone else as well. Stef and Lena had done such a good job of hiding how bad they had taken this and she started wondering how everyone else was doing, it couldn't be any easier for them, seeing her like this.

And that's why she decided to tell them she was fine, despite the fact that she was so obviously not fine. Because saying anything else would have caused them to worry. And that's not what she wanted. If she could assure them that she was fine, they wouldn't worry and neither would the other kids and then everything would be okay. She had been through enough by herself already, she could get through this without letting anyone in. So she didn't tell them that she was really tired, because that would have caused more worry, despite the fact that she was sure it was a natural thing for teenagers to feel. Because while everyone else complained about being tired they ignored them but if she did they became concerned about her. And she couldn't blame them, not really, but she was sure that feeling tired was okay. And she didn't tell them that she was terrified, because they were as well and they had enough to worry about without her adding more to the plate. Because even if she did tell them she was terrified, they wouldn't be able to prevent that feeling. There was nothing that they could tell her that was true and would take away this fear. There was no way for them to reassure her that everything was going to be okay and that this would all be over soon and they couldn't tell her that she would be here to see Jude's next birthday or spend another Christmas surrounded by family. Yes, they were able to tell her that they were there for her, and that they loved her and that they would help her through everything. But she already knew that, and she didn't want to waste their time when they already had so much.

Stef and Lena shared a look, they didn't believe her and they wished she would be open about how she was feeling, but they let it pass, they didn't want to push her, they had agreed on that during their late night conversations.

"Are you coming down for breakfast with the others? Or do you want something while Lena's taking them to school?" Stef asked.

They had been undecided on how to go about eating habits. They knew that the chemo would lower her appetite and would cause her nausea and vomiting but they had disagreed as to whether or not they should insist she should eat. Lena hadn't wanted to force her, knowing that even if she ate something it was likely that it would come back up soon. She wanted Callie to eat, and wanted her to come and sit with the others with a plate of food but she didn't want to force her into eating anything. And it wasn't that Stef wanted to force her, it was rather more so the fact that she wanted Callie to have some freedom in all of this. Everything else had been taken away from her, she had no control over anything. And this was something that she would have some control over. And she knew how dangerous that was, she knew how eating disorders were developed, wanting some control, but she knew that Callie knew how important it was for her to eat and she knew that Callie wasn't going to jeopardise her ability to get better. She wanted Callie to eat just as much as Lena wanted her to eat, but forcing her wasn't going to get them anywhere. Neither of them were really sure how to go about anything, they had no experience in this area and it scared them. Everything they seemed to do, no matter how much of a good affect it seemed to have on Callie, there was always a negative side. And they struggled to find things that had more of a positive than a negative.

"I think I'll come down now, I want to see everyone before they go to school," she said.

She wasn't really sure why she agreed, she knew that she would have to eat something to stop questions from the others, but she knew that she would be forced to eat something like she would if she was alone. And she did want to see the others, it hadn't been a total lie. Only because she knew what it was like for the few days after chemo and she knew she wasn't going to be seeing a lot of her siblings. Also, she figured it could cause a distraction from her thoughts for a while, laying here didn't seem very appealing anymore.

"Okay, we made pancakes so you might want to hurry up before Jesus has a chance to eat them all," Stef said with a smile.

Callie could tell it was slightly forced, it was different to how it used to be. Just like Lena's was. Just like their laughs. She smiled as well though, pretending not to notice.

"Oh, and there's been a chance in plan for today, Stef managed to get the day off so once I've taken everyone to school, we'll both be taking you up to the hospital," Lena said.

Callie agreed. She hated that they both took time off work to accompany her to the hospital when she was sure that she was able to just go by herself. It would so much easier for them and she wouldn't be worried about them missing their work. She was sure they needed to go in and couldn't just take days off whenever she needed them to be with her. But Stef and Lena wanted to be there, they thought it would somehow make it easier for Callie, so they could take some of the fear she was feeling, because they could tell she was terrified. They both wanted to hold her hand and try and keep her spirits up and they both wanted to be there afterwards to remind her how well she had done. They both wanted to make sure she felt okay and help her when she didn't, and although they had already decided that they would alternate on who would go with her, neither were ready to not be there, not just yet. And neither minded going, so there really was no problem.

Stef and Lena left and they returned downstairs. The others were still sat down at breakfast, although not eating. In the five minutes that they had been left alone, Mariana and Jesus had somehow ended up in an argument over the syrup and were stood yelling at each other. It was, of course, no longer about the syrup. Stef and Lena rolled their eyes, they had no idea why they couldn't just get along. Jude and Brandon were still sat eating at the table. Brandon was focusing on his music, not paying any attention to the twins, however they had Jude's complete attention, so much so that he had managed to spill syrup on his shirt as he hadn't been paying to eating his pancake.

They were about to interrupt when they heard Callie's voice behind them. She gained everyones attention, even the twins, as they hadn't been expecting to see her this morning. She had brushed her hair, but she was still in her pyjamas.

"Did Jesus eat all the pancakes?" she asked, smiling.

It was so nice to see the others acting normal, that despite what things were doing on with her, in her head, everything else was okay, everyone else was still able to enjoy themselves. And it made her smile, not a forced smile either, but a genuine, relaxed smile. Because the others were okay.

"Not yet," Brandon said. "But you might want to hurry up if you want one."

Callie smiled and sat down next to Jude. Stef and Lena also took their seats and Jesus and Mariana stopped arguing and sat back down as well. And it was just normal. It was as if nothing was wrong, and it made Callie so grateful, because no one was acting strange around her, and no one was asking how they were doing. It was like it had been before. She took a pancake, and after she had covered it in syrup, she began eating. And she could feel Stef and Lena looking at her, and when she looked up to ask why she found them smiling. They were happy that she was eating, that she had joined them at the table and she had willingly chosen to eat a pancake and she had willingly chosen to put syrup on it. And Callie didn't know how she felt about that. Because everything was normal, but it was also completely different. Everything was just wrong.

She looked down at her pyjamas and regretted not getting changed, because it reinforced that she was sick and she wasn't able to go into school today, and probably not tomorrow either. And that she didn't realise how much she would miss just fitting in, because she never really had. She had been the one who was in foster care and juvie, and she didn't mind. But now that she was even more of an outcast and she didn't want to be. Right now she would do anything to just blend in, because she hated this. She hated it so much. Everyone was trying so hard to make everything normal that it was so far from normal, and despite all their efforts to appear relaxed, it wasn't like it used to be. She only ate half of her pancake before excusing herself from the table.

She didn't even get to the bottom of the stairs before Lena called her back. Reminding her about something else that made everything not normal.

"Callie, don't forget your meds."

She hated that word. And she hated having to take them. And she hated being reminded. She hated this whole thing and it just wasn't fair. But nothing in life was, in her life anyway. And she didn't understand it, but she didn't complain. Because she learnt a long time ago that complaining got you nowhere. So she turned around and walked back into the kitchen. She took down the box that held all the medication in and sighed. Her name was on so many of these. She didn't even know which ones she needed. The doctor had explained it so many times to her, and Stef and Lena had told her, but she couldn't remember and there was so many. And then she was crying.

She didn't know why, everything was just so overwhelming. So she just stood there. Looking into the box and crying. And she heard everyone eating behind her and talking and it was like she wasn't a part of that anymore. It had taken long enough for her to be comfortable with the Fosters and now she was back outside of their family unit and that made her cry even more. Because this stupid, stupid disease was ruining everything and she didn't know how to fix it.

And she was still stood there, just looking down and the tears were running off her face and she was furious. At everything. And at nothing. Because there was nothing to be furious at. There was no physical thing she could put her anger on. And she could feel this rage building up inside and then the box was on the floor and she was in the garden.

She sat down on the grass and she was so focused on her thoughts that she didn't notice Stef coming to sit down next to her. And until she was sat next to her, Callie thought she was alone. She turned to look at Stef, who was frowning at her. She looked so concerned, and Callie was enveloped in guilt.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, we're just worried about you. Everyone gets overwhelmed, and no one blames you for it. It's okay to be worried and angry and upset and you're allowed to feel whatever it is you're feeling, but it's not okay for you to keep it in. We want you to talk to us so that we can help and so we know what you're feeling. It's scary when you don't tell us what's going on because we get so worried about you. And I know how hard it is for you to trust us and I know how hard you try, but trust me when I tell you that we aren't going to be cross when you come to us and that we don't mind when you talk to us no matter when or what it's about," Stef told her.

While talking, Stef had placed one arm around Callie's shoulder. She didn't know whether Callie would welcome a hug and even though her heart was telling her to comfort the girl by pulling her close, she thought it best to let Callie initiate a hug and this way it would be easier for her to do so and she could still bring the girl some form of comfort.

"I just don't want to bother you," Callie said.

"You're not going to be bothering us by coming to talk to us. If it takes time for you to come to us, that's fine, but know that you aren't bothering us. That's what we're here for. Whatever you are worried about or upset about or scared about, we want to help you. We love you Callie girl."

Callie smiled slightly and leant into Stef. Her arms were wrapped around her and Stef wrapped her arms around Callie.

"Thank you Stef," she said.

The two sat like that for a while until Stef felt Callie shiver. It was early and she was only in her pyjamas, which Stef seemed to have forgotten while they were sat outside.

"Let's go back in, the others will be leaving soon and you need to get dressed," Stef said standing up brushing off her trousers.

Callie stood up as well and Stef followed her inside. The table was cleared from breakfast, as was the floor where she had pushed the box off the side. And Lena was yelling up the stairs. And Jude was worrying about his top. And Mariana was complaining about the rain because she had straightened her hair. And Jesus was trying to find his wrestling gear. And Brandon was stood waiting.

And it was just right.

A/N: So yeah, not sure about this, hopefully you guys like it. I'll reply to all the reviews later on. Thanks for reading. I have no idea if the A/N at the top makes any sense. Any mistakes are mine. Still don't own the Fosters.