Ray Berry had almost perfected the art of being invisible. Being invisible was safe; it meant no bullying, and no one finding out. For about eleven years of his life he had lived as Rachel Berry, the girl who wanted everything too much and couldn't shut up about it.
Rachel was teased all through elementary and middle school for being who she was, a star and not ashamed of it. Her fathers exalted her and told her that no matter what the bullies said or did, the most important thing was for her to follow her dreams.
He tried so hard to convince himself that the reason he felt lost and uncomfortable all the time was because his talent wasn't being appreciated, but when puberty came he finally realised that it was because he wasn't being true to who he was.
He started visiting a gender identity clinic at the age of thirteen and by the age of fourteen he had started hormone blockers, cut his hair, and in his new school McKinley High, he was registered as Ray.
He had decided with his fathers that it would be best to be stealth about his gender identity, it was a small town in Ohio and they already got shunned for being gay fathers. So on his first day of school, he kept his head down and his mouth shut, and somehow no one bothered him.
When the story of Quinn Fabray, the youngest head cheerleader in a decade, reached his ears he felt his stomach flip. It couldn't be the same person. The person he knew from Middle School, the only friend he'd had back then, she most certainly wasn't a cheerleader. And anyway her name was Lucy Fabray. Lucy Quinn Fabray.
He couldn't fully believe it until he saw her with his own eyes. She strode into Spanish class, blonde hair, five sizes smaller, no glasses and a different nose, but it was most certainly her. He kept his eyes down and hood on, fear gripping his throat at the thought of her recognising him. She sat flirting with the enormous guy next to her, unaware of the brown eyes observing her from across the room.
He got to know that the new Lucy, Quinn, was very different to the one he knew. Those who crossed her or just were too 'lame' in her eyes would be dealt with using either harsh words or a slushy facial from her football team lackies.
However, when their eyes met after one such slushy event, he could see the fear and remorse written plainly upon her features. He stood, entranced for a moment before remembering himself and slipping away. He did his best to avoid her for the rest of the year.
There was one thing that often made him question staying invisible, and that was glee club. Even though he'd lost a large chunk of his self-confidence, he still longed for his chance in the spotlight, his chance to show everyone how much of a star he was.
It was like a raging fire pushing him to join, put himself out there, but it was dimmed significantly by the thought of what might happen if he did. So he kept his low profile, ignoring the pangs of longing he felt whenever he caught them performing.
Ray knew it must have seemed nigh on masochistic to book tickets to their Sectionals performance, but he just couldn't pass up on the opportunity. He spent the whole of the performance overwhelmed by the aura of it all, but still picking up on all the times one of them went flat or stumbled slightly on a dance move.
Try as he might to stop it, Ray's eyes kept wandering over to Quinn. Her effortless movements and beaming smile were captivating, but what distracted Ray was the way it didn't quite reach her eyes and the weariness of carrying another life weighing down on her shoulders.
He left after the performances, unable to bear the longing much longer.
Ray all but forgot about glee after that, channelling all his energy into his studies. That was until they decided to perform during lunch, invading his senses with their amazing talent.
He tried his best not to look, he really did. He studied all the different seeds that were in the bread of his avocado and pesto sandwich, but in the end he gave up unable to keep himself from inspecting their choreography.
Of course, he picked just the wrong moment to look up. Quinn's gaze shifted over to him and they locked eyes once again, and this time Quinn's hardened into a determined look. Whatever she was determined to do, he guessed it wasn't going to be good for his reputation as the guy with no reputation at all.
Avoiding open corridors and dashing into empty classrooms whenever he saw a cheerios uniform could only work for so long, he needed his books for his next class.
He thought about not turning up to class, he doubted the teacher would notice, but no, if he wanted to get out of this hellhole of a town and have any chance at the spotlight, he would have to retain good grades.
Thwarted by his own ambition, Ray headed surreptitiously down the bustling corridor to his locker. Quickly stuffing the essentials into his bag, he slammed it shut, only to reveal one Quinn Fabray heading down the hallway.
Ray turned sharply almost colliding with a very flamboyant boy standing next to him.
"Hi, Kurt Hummel." The boy said, extending a hand toward Ray.
"Hi." Ray replied, proud of the way his voice was lower than Kurt's but also anxious to leave before Quinn found him.
Kurt looked put off by the less than warm greeting but pressed on nonetheless.
"I saw you today in the courtyard. You were totally into our song. You should join, we'd love to have you in Glee."
"I-uh I'll think about-"
"Kurt!" Ray was cut off by a sharp call from a voice that sounded very much like Quinn's. Taking Kurt's distraction as an opportunity, he fled.
The glee clubbers were at a loss. Sam hadn't shown up for his audition and the other kid was like a ghost, it was like no one even remembered he existed. With only eleven members and seemingly no hope of getting more, morale was low.
"Come on, guys! We'll find new members, don't worry." Mr Shuester tried in vain to encourage the kids. "First, we have to get you guys back in shape. This week's assignment…"
Quinn tuned out of his lesson about yet another eighties artist and how inspirational they were. Her thoughts were on the elusive boy she'd been tracking for days now.
Finn put his arm comfortingly, yet slightly heavily, around her shoulders. Somehow he'd managed to forgive her and the power couple once again reined the school.
But that meant nothing if they couldn't use their power to do something worthwhile. As much as she hated to admit it, glee club was the only thing she properly enjoyed in her life now. Cheerios had always been hell (but worth it to stay on top and keep in shape) and Santana and Brittany, her closest friends, were stuck in some transgressive lesbian spiral bound to end in tears.
That left Mercedes, and as much as Quinn enjoyed hanging out with her, they didn't really have a lot in common. Plus she spent most days busy with Kurt anyway.
Quinn supposed she should have put Finn in there somewhere but to be honest, all their dates at Breadstix and make out sessions just made her feel guilty.
"Okay! So since none of you had anything to perform this week, can you try and find something for next week. We have to get back in our groove if we want to win Sectionals this year."
Quinn sighed heavily and hitched her bag onto her shoulder, not quite ready to return to the stifling atmosphere at home. She saw her two fellow cheerleaders link pinkies and new that they weren't going to be an option. Finn was off talking with the other guys about Halo night and Kurtcedes were already out the door.
Groaning internally, she strutted out of the choir room and to the parking lot, intent on taking the longest route home.
Ray's perfectly constructed life had started to go wrong. On Monday, he forgot to put on his Vitamin E cream for his surgery scars. On Wednesday, he bumped right into a football player, earning him a growl and a promise of a beating if it happened again. On Friday, he forgot the words to One Hand, One Heart when sitting down to watch West Side Story with his fathers.
He just couldn't concentrate on anything anymore and glee club was to blame. Wherever he went, Ray would see their dejected faces and defaced or empty sign up sheets. Plus he was still trying desperately to avoid Quinn, made harder by their shared Spanish lesson. Luckily, she still hadn't yet noticed him in the dark corner, but it was only a matter of time.
Maybe the only way to get her off his back would be to give them what they wanted, a new member. Not him obviously, but Ray had overheard them talking about a new kid called Sam who'd joined the football team instead. It would mean purposefully starting a conversation, but sacrifices had to be made.
Ray had on good authority that Sam would work out during lunch period, so after polishing off his vegan pasta dish, he headed over to the weights room.
Just as predicted, the blond was sitting there lifting dumbbells.
"Uh Sam? Sam Evans?" Ray began nervously.
Sam looked up at the unexpected visitor confused, still lifting the weights.
"Yeah?"
All thoughts of his carefully constructed monologue left his head and in a panic he just blurted out: "You need to join glee club."
"You're in glee?"
"Uh well no but… some of my friends are and if you don't then they won't be able to compete and they're all really depressed about it." Ray's mind was on autopilot.
"I don't know, man." Sam looked uncomfortable. "I don't really feel like being slushied all the time. I'm already having a tough time fitting in, being the new kid and all."
"But you have to!" Ray cringed as soon as he said it.
Sam just raised an eyebrow, looking slightly amused.
"If you care so much, why don't you join?" He countered.
Ray tried hard to think of an excuse, his mouth opening and closing but no words coming out.
"I-I don't sing." He offered lamely. He cringed as his childhood self berated him for lying, knowing his singing voice was his strongest talent.
Sam chuckled, seeing right through Ray's lie.
"I'll tell you what, I'll audition on one condition."
Ray nodded eagerly, proud of himself for breaking him. Maybe this talking thing wasn't so hard.
"You audition with me."
Ray felt his heart sink.
Dammit, so close.