TITLE: "I Can't Believe They Voted Me Out" (2/4)
RATING: AA
CHARACTERS: Toby and the gang
SUMMARY: Each person's view in order that they were voted out of the "fantasy survivor game."
POV: Each character.
DISCLAIMER: The characters used from the West Wing do not belong to me; they are the property of Aaron Sorkin.
TIMEFRAME: Continues from "Where's Gilligan?"
***OLIVER***
After checking into my room I showered and changed into some fresh clothes. I couldn't wait to get downstairs and start hitting on some babes. I knew that Donna and the Bartlets were here and I was looking forward to seeing them again.
Once outside I ordered a drink and I was somehow drawn to the beach. The water was just so beautiful and it felt refreshingly cool against my skin as I walked along side it. I didn't get far before I heard my name being called out. A quick glance and I spotted Abbey as she waved me over.
"Long time no see," Donna got up and gave me a hug.
"Hello," I said taking a seat at their table.
"You were hanged I see," Bartlet spoke.
"Yes. There were too many lawyers on that location therefore Sam felt it his duty to defeat me and send me packing."
"Sam won immunity?" Donna asked excited.
"He sure did. You know I would have never taken him for being so smart. But apparently that he is."
"Of course he is. I don't work with stupid people. Only the best," Bartlet raised his glass. "To Sam."
"To Sam," we all said in unison as our glasses clinked against each other.
"I need gossip," Donna said grabbing my hand. I smiled at her.
"And here I was hoping you had some for me."
"CJ gave Josh a black eye," I offered.
"No way," Donna exclaimed.
"Good for her," Abbey said taking another sip of her beverage.
Jed Bartlet just smiled as if he was already aware of this information. "Why?" Donna asked.
"It appears that Josh bragged about being this great fisherman to Toby and he called him on it."
"Josh can't fish," Donna said.
"No shit," I replied. "He blamed his lack of fish catching on the net he had been working with. So Toby gets all Tobyish and Josh gets defensive and the next thing you know he is out in the water trying to catch some fish to prove Toby wrong."
"I don't see why that would be cause for CJ to hit Josh. Not that I'm complaining mind you," Abbey said.
"Yeah well, Josh stole something that belonged to CJ and used it for his trapping." As they hung on waiting for me I took another sip of my glass and caught the attention of the waiter for a second one. "He stole her bra."
Abbey and Donna gasped while the President burst out laughing. Abbey slapped him on the side of his arm. "That's not funny Jed."
"Yes it is," he responded during his laughter.
"Oh my gosh. I'd have hit too."
"That's not the worst of though Donna. He put his make belief spear right through one of the cups. The bra is ruined and it's the only one CJ had on her."
Now all three of them were laughing and I soon joined them. I felt terrible for CJ but I had to admit it was funny when she showed it to all of us. "Poor CJ," Abbey giggled.
"Lucky bastards," Bartlet threw in getting a dirty look from his wife. "What? Abbey I'm sorry but it's every man's fantasy to be trapped on a deserted island with a braless babe."
"Amen," I said saluting the President.
"Josiah Bartlet. That is our CJ you are referring to."
"I know Abbey. I say it in good fun," the President was making peace with his wife when he blurted. "I sure hope there isn't any bopping around in the next challenges or she may black out all their eyes."
Now it was only Bartlet and I laughing as the women stared us down with daggers in their eyes.
We headed back to our separate rooms and it was Donna who offered us to join her in hers. Since neither of us had any immediate plans we all happily accepted. Bartlet ordered us some drinks for a nightcap.
Forty five minutes later we were deep in discussion of our past. We all suddenly realized that we didn't quite know a lot about one another and so we figured we would change that. Since Abbey and Bartlet knew each other obviously well, Donna and I did most of the sharing.
"While in law school I supported my family playing the drums in this lame rock band," I told them.
"Really? You have a family?"
"Well I did Donna. My wife hated me playing the drums. She thought it was beneath her and so finally she took my son and left me."
"Oh Oliver," Abbey said. "That's terrible."
"The kicker is eventually she got remarried. And it was to another drummer," I gulped my drink and started laughing.
"She wasn't worthy of you Oliver," Donna said trying to be consoling.
"Ahh, it didn't bother me. I lined up the next Mrs. Babish a week after the first one split."
"Oh," Abbey said shocked.
"Well I'm glad that you had someone to stand by your side while you put yourself through law school."
"Nah, she left me too."
"For another drummer?" Bartlet asked smiling.
"Actually no. Allison left me for the sitter who babysat our daughter. I knew that Mrs. Wilson was trouble the first day I met her divorced ass."
Everyone stared at me as though I was crazy. "Your wife left you for another woman?" Donna asked. She made it sound as if it had never happened to anyone before.
"Yep."
"Man that's rough," Bartlet said looking away.
"Just how many times have you been married Oliver?" Abbey inquired.
"Uh," I took a second to count them. "Four."
"Four?" Donna and Abbey chorused.
"I haven't given up though."
"Good for you," Bartlet raised his glass to me.
"Yeah, I mean there's got to be another soon to be ex Mrs. Oliver Babish out there somewhere. I just have to find her, romance her, annoy and then get dumped by her. I figure it can't be that hard?"
"Oliver!" Abbey threw one of the pillows at me. "That's a horrible thing to say."
"What can I say. I'm a masochist for marriage."
"I'd like to get married one day," Donna spoke up.
"I'm glad to hear that Donna," Bartlet told her. "I think you'd make someone a terrific wife."
Abbey smiled and swirled her scotch around in her tumbler. "I was telling Donna how she should make a move on our Josh."
Bartlet spit his drink into a napkin and wiped his mouth. "Are you nuts Abbey? Josh Lyman?"
"Yes Jed. What's wrong with Josh Lyman? I think he's charming and perfect for Donna."
"There is nothing charming about Josh Lyman," Bartlet said in disgust. "He's a moron."
"You don't really believe that Jed and you know it. You adore Josh."
"No Abbey. The word you are thinking of is abhor. I ABHOR Josh."
"You're not fooling anyone Jed so shut up," Abbey ordered. "Donna and Josh are perfect for one another."
"Well we don't even know for sure if Josh likes me," Donna said.
"Oh come on Donna. You mean to tell me you haven't seen the way he looks at you?" I asked her not buying her statement.
"I'll rip his eyes out," Bartlet threatened in a fatherly tone.
"Stay out of this Cujo," Abbey demanded pushing him over. "I think that they would be just lovely together. And of course Josh fancies Donna. What's not to fancy?"
"Donna deserves someone who will respect her," Bartlet said trying to sit back up without spilling his drink.
"Josh respects her," Abbey said. Apparently Donna wasn't needed in the decision of her love life. So we just smiled at each other and listened to the Bartlets as they fought back and forth.
"Like he respects Amy? Abbey how many times have you had to chastise him over the way he treats her?"
"I don't chastise him Jed. I simply give him some friendly advice."
"That's chastising Abbey. It's the same thing."
"Not its not," Abbey argued. They went back and forth until finally Donna and I passed out from boredom.
***CJ***
Did he just say my name? I think he said my name. Okay the schmuk is still speaking and yes, it is true. He said my name. I got up and left immediately as I was prepared to at the beginning of this stupid game.
I am going to kill them. I will use severe pain on each and everyone of them. I can't believe they voted me out. I'm CJ for Christ's sake. I followed this big homely looking fellow to a small helicopter.
"Where are we going?"
"I am to take you back to the hotel where the other people are, homely replied back to me.
I got into the helicopter and we began to ascend. It didn't take as long as I expected to reach the hotel. It was lovely from what I was able to see considering how dark it was. I entered the lobby and was amazed by the amount of young people that were hanging about. A few good looking men walked past me and smiled. Well this certainly had potential.
Not in the best of moods I went to the front desk and was waited on by a snooty looking girl who to me had an attitude. "Can I help you?"
"I'm assuming that's your job. I'm CJ Cregg, there should be a room here for me," I glanced around again.
"Yes we do have a Claudia Jean here."
"CJ will do just fine. Where am I?" I needed a shower so bad.
"If you could sign here please I can release your card to you."
"Do you have a place here to buy clothes?"
"You don't have your own?" she asked me rudely.
I glared down at her. "Do I look like I have clothes with me?" I raised my empty hands.
"There is a gift shop on the second floor. I am sure you can find something suitable in there tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" I questioned her. I can't wait until tomorrow. What was I going to sleep in.
"Yes tomorrow. They do close at night you know."
I signed the paper and she handed me my card. She didn't tell me to enjoy my stay. Aren't they supposed to say that? "Your attitude wouldn't last an hour in the States. But should you ever visit feel free to look me up. I'll be sure to give you the same hospitality as you have given me." I began to head for my room.
I was dreaming of Bruce Willis when I was awakened by the knocking on my hotel door. "Go Away!" I shouted rolling over.
"CJ! It's Donna. I have some clothes for you."
"I'm sleeping," I shouted back. I grabbed the extra pillow and held it over my head. The knocking continued.
"I'm not going away until you open this door CJ," Donna threatened.
I rolled back over and flung the pillow across the room. Grabbing the sheet I wrapped it around my body since I was naked. I whipped the door open and was disgusted at the sight of Donna looking all perky and happy. "I was sleeping," I grumbled.
"And now you're awake. This works out perfectly." Donna brushed past me and entered my room. "Wow, nice room. I like what you have done to the place."
Trying to pry my eyes open I took a look around the room. I had made a complete mess. I never bragged about being clean. Donna began to tidy up. "Are you cleaning my room?"
"I don't mind, besides someone has to do it."
"No. That's why they have maids Donna."
"CJ here," Donna handed me a bag. I took it from her and looked inside. There was a nice silk blouse in a lavender colour, a black skirt, a matching set that included a blue thong and brassiere.
"Oh God a bra. How glad I am to see on of these."
Donna smiled. "Yeah we heard. How's Josh's eye by the way?"
"Fortunately for him it's healing. He's lucky I didn't knock him unconscious I was so pissed off at him."
"I can imagine. He does such idiotic things sometimes without thinking. Well what are you waiting for? Get dressed so we can meet the others for breakfast."
"The others? What time is it anyway?"
"8:30."
"8:30?" I repeated in a loud voice. "I'm on vacation."
"Yes we are. So lets go make the best of it. There are plenty of yummy guys out there and I for one don't plan to sit around and waste a perfectly free holiday."
Blondie had a point. "Give me a few minutes to wake up and change into these," I held the bag up. Donna continued on cleaning up.
I walked towards the bathroom and opened the door. I turned to Donna. "Hey Donna?"
"Yeah CJ?"
"Thanks."
"No problem CJ. Now hurry."
A few minutes turned out to be twenty. Donna and I went downstairs and joined Abbey, the President and Oliver by the pool. I started laughing when I noticed Bartlet's disguise. "Very discreet Mr. President."
"I'm a babe magnetic in this thing."
"Don't start that crap again Jed. I don't think I can handle hearing it anymore," Abbey warned her husband.
We did the greeting thing and then we ordered breakfast. "Who pays for breakfast?" I asked.
"I do," Bartlet responded.
"That's what I wanted to hear," I replied as I roamed through the menu. I ordered steak and eggs, toast, pancakes, orange juice and coffee.
"CJ slow down. Where do you plan on putting that?" Oliver asked me.
"In my mouth Oliver. I'm hungry."
"So they got you too. I was expecting Leo to be the next one out."
"If I know the brat pack they'll be kicking him out tonight."
Bartlet laughed. "That's good to hear."
"So," Donna began. "Tell us what's been going on?"
I leaned back and stretched my legs out a bit. "Well Batman and Robin were on my side for awhile but that ended fast."
"Batman and Robin? That's Josh and Sam right?" Bartlet asked.
"Actually together those two or more like Tweety and Sylvester. One's a big pussy and the other one is just a bird."
That got a laugh. "I was talking about Toby and Sam. Toby promised he wouldn't kick me out but he didn't really stand a chance against Leo, Charlie, Josh and Sam."
"Oh sure they gang up on the strong women," Donna said sounding angry.
"That's because they don't stand a chance against us," Abbey stated smiling.
"I'm hoping Charlie kicks their ass though," I said.
"Me too," they said together.
"What else happened?" Bartlet asked.
"The usual. We fought. You would think it would be fun to be the only woman on an island with five men but you know what? It's overrated."
"With those guys sure," Oliver said. "Now if you had real men-" Oliver smiled and winked at me.
"Whatever," I replied. I thought of Toby for a minute. I missed him already. He better be missing me.
Our food came and we ate and then went for a walk along the beach ending up swimming after our stomach's were able to handle the exercise. Later on we joined for dinner and then went dancing at the local club. I had a lot of fun. I have never seen the President get down and boogey like he did. It was nice seeing him be free.
On our way back we ran into Leo in the lobby. The President ran over to his old friend and gave him a hug. "I missed you buddy."
"Mr. President? I sure hope that's you."
"Of course it is Leo. Who else would be hugging your decrepit old body?"
"And to think I was looking forward to seeing your ugly mug again," he teased back.
We were gathered at the elevator talking and we walked Leo to his room and followed him in uninvited.