I made many changes in this chapter hoping to capture the intensity of their brief private moment together. Try as they might to outwit each other, there's no match against the passion that fuels their desire.

Terminal Feelings

The delightful soft texture of Bonnie's snug baby-blue, velvet dress allowed her hand to work soothingly, caressing the material that massaged the little girl's back. Moments earlier, her daughter flung herself over her lap whining about an itch. Under her touch Bonnie had succumbed to a nap that had been hours overdue, and it empowered Scarlett for accomplishing such a small feat, giving rise to the courage she desperately needed, alone with Rhett. She entreated him to make this moment, be without anything or anyone between them.

"She's going to rumple her beautiful dress. Do set her down comfortably on the seat, will you?"

His strength made it appear to be such a gentle movement, lifting her and placing her down gently on the empty carriage seat across from them. When he returned to his spot, she sensed the extra space made between them was intentional.

"Scarlett, you haven't made any plans to accompany us to England, have you?" he asked, with that mocking grin of his, preparing to say the next snide thing.

"I could never make so an abrupt plan as you can, Rhett Butler." Her eyes were dancing, dangerously playful to his growing curiosity. Then, she turned them away to peer out the window, measuring the close distance to the terminal. "But I do plan on saying a few things before we reach the terminal, being that I have such a short time with you before you depart."

The green eyes directed back at him, seemed troubled and sincere, never faltering to pierce the gaze he had toward her. A second of silence lingered too long for him, he began to ask, "Well, I wish you didn't surprise me this way—"

"You, yourself have quite a few up your sleeves as I fondly recall." There wasn't much time. She had to make sure she had Rhett where she wanted him to be. She needed to lay on her charms as thick and smooth as churned butter. "You do recall, don't you Rhett?"

The new hue on his cheeks answered her question although he made a successful attempt to hide it, momentarily confusing her. "If you're referring to last night, I've made my apologies. And if you're referring to this morning, I meant what I said. I want you to think about my er proposal while I'm away. Absence will make the heart grow fonder, for whom you're truly fond of, that I'm sure. All the more reason, for my departure, to make your decision as easy and painless for you as it can be."

"Did it pain you to make love to me, Rhett?" She found the right moment and question to break his cool and collected façade. He took his eyes off her and stared at the floor of the carriage, his brows furrowing. Even as a fast thinker, Scarlett was faster at inching closer in the brief silence, urging an answer to bubble forth.

"My dear pet. It pains me to be in love with you, and fool that I have been, to have believed my money could've bought yours. There's no need to tell me what's on your mind. I've done enough damage, most especially last night. I'm afraid I've emptied myself out completely."

He met her mouth—contorted—biting her bottom lip underneath intense green eyes that indicated she was trying hard to process all that he said to her, and how it didn't fit with her emotions—her goal to win him over, actually.

"And do you think, your ardor, your gumption, emptying yourself out to me," Scarlett's face was radiating with vibrancy, "was all in vain, Rhett?"

Feeling like a cornered animal as she edged toward him, he leaned his shoulders forward forcing Scarlett to pull her neck back, but she managed to keep her eyes on his, and his mouth as it moved. When he sighed before speaking, she inhaled, narrowing the lids of her eyes, readying to take in his closeness, causing him to almost lose his thoughts.

"It doesn't make a difference what you tell me now. Come now, Scarlett. What's become of you? I don't know what to make of it. Let's just say our goodbyes now. I don't want to have to ruin your mood, which might change by the end of this ride, and I don't want your temper flaring, risking to rouse Bonnie from her nap."

His voice was soft, almost as if he was trying to convince himself, growing weaker in his usually firm delivery, wondering if Scarlett was hearing a different message. Her face was lit with hope.

"The only thing that will flare Rhett, is my desire for my husband."

There! She said it, but that was just a droplet of the flood gates that flowed right after.

"I hear words coming from your mouth, but I,… I don't care what you say to me. I just want to feel the warmth of your breath against my skin again, your hands, your fingertips. To feel and hear the sound coming from your throat, and, oh, the gooseflesh it makes."

He found himself already breathing erratically. His mouth hanging open, unaware that his eyes were transfixed on her exposed neck. His struggle to regain composure was evident, so to keep the momentum, she spoke in a breathless manner, "Oh Rhett, you do know something happened more than….more than making love! Something indescribable!"

"No!" he cried in a whisper, mindful not to stir his daughter. "It was drunken chaos, Scarlett. We were both drunk!"

Scarlett unrelenting, marching toward victory, continued, "I wasn't intoxicated by the brandy at all my darling! And if I was intoxicated, it was from your kisses covering my body completely! Not to forget the taste of your skin still on my lips. Rhett, you see what I realized when you left the room this morning, is that before last night we were starving souls—starving mad for, for, for…" dare she say it, she had to,

"…for love. We deprived ourselves of such simple rations that we had to ravage each other—

Her words were stolen from her, muffled inside his vacuous mouth. In one, sweep of his great arms, he took her in and kissed her passionately, feeling time race by, instead of slow down. Even after several minutes, she still wanted more, and still had more to say. When the time came to relax their hold on each other, he painfully asked against her lips, giving her the brief opportunity to answer, only the question.

"Why must you speak so brazenly?"

She opened her eyes and wondered if it was his or hers, blurred, like grey clouds had formed a fog between them. But she didn't need to have sight to see Rhett was clearly taken and caught in the web of her game. She was just as caught up in it. Her body assuaged already while her mind, hot with fever, flamed uncontrollably. Much like the flames burning the city of Atlanta.

"It's like the war, Rhett," kissing him in between clauses, "so many days, months even, of no food—, slaving in the hot sun—, with no refuge in sight, feeling your burdens—back breaking burdens—suddenly, all lifted—in one night. And darling!" she paused, discovering for herself, in her own thoughts, the description of their relationship.

Then she looked deeply in his eyes, hoping to transfer the memories of her past into them. The past, that hardened her, blinded her ability to be frivolously charming, and appeased. The past that kept all what she was meant to be, dormant. And nothing was as powerful in shattering the emotional fortress the war built in her heart, than Rhett's lone ambush on her, the night before.

"Like when there was so little of everything! You had to take what you could when you could! The enemy robbed us, harmed us, and there was no where to hide, or run. But last night, there was no reason to run. There were no enemies to run away from. All because Rhett, all because in our war, we surrendered to gain victory! Last night! Oh darling! We made our peace last night and I couldn't let you leave without telling you how I feel. That I, I—"

Suddenly the carriage jerked to an abrupt stop. They could hear the bustle of people in Atlanta's train station outside. The carriage swayed as the driver jumped off and in moments swung the door open. They could clearly see by the look on his face, he had interrupted something intense, although not having enough common sense to allow them a few more minutes of privacy. The brightness of the day emanating from the opened door, had stirred Bonnie, and she excitedly asked,

"Are we in London, Daddy?"

It was agony to wrench his arms from Scarlett, but he had no choice if he wanted to prevent Bonnie from jumping out of the carriage.

They walked lazily into the depot, in silence, oblivious to others scurrying by, needing to secure their spots in distant cars, and to the Atlanta socialites who were aware of Scarlett's recent indiscretions only the day before with Ashley, perversely disappointed as they tracked the couple's behavior too obviously and scandalously-quick to be reconciled.

"What are you to do now, Mrs. Butler?" he asked as he took her hand and kissed it. The question meant for himself to answer.

"Why I was hoping you'd change your mind, so we can continue our talk of war. It seems the first time, the topic does not bore me," she replied, her dimples teasing him.

"I can't delay this trip, my pet. I have an important business matter I arranged to settle before you turned my world upside-down again. How am I to think reasonably after your earth-shaking confession?"

"I've confessed nothing, Rhett."

She wished she took that back. But Rhett was already rethinking things. In his frazzled mind, he had sworn he heard her profess words of love. Then he took a step back and refocused on the situation at hand. She was certainly headed down a path he knew well. Seeing to it that he wouldn't fall for any of her charms from there on, he'd have to call on a different game—gambling with the only heart on the table, as it seemed to him.

"I would drop this trip in a heartbeat, my darling Scarlett, if I was undeniably convinced that what you felt was indeed love, but as it is, I only managed to temporarily bring you pleasure, to both of us, I must add. Tomorrow you might loathe me for staying, or trying too hard, the thought compelling me to trust in my fear more than my desire to abandon all logical reasoning."

"What do you think I'm doing, Rhett? I've abandoned all my silly school girl notions of romance, once…" She almost feared to say it in the open public, but after realizing her words were milder than her thoughts, she proceeded, "…..something deep inside me was untapped. What only women, truly desired, know."

He never paid too much mind about what the public thought of him, especially during the war when he stood out in stark contrast in his white linen tailored suits versus the tattered and torn apparel, the public sported, and at that moment as he leaned over to plant a deep farewell kiss on the wife he was detesting to leave behind.

"Say you love me, Scarlett. If only just to hear you say it." He pleaded. It was a moment of sensual intoxication brought on by Scarlett's potent musings that blind-sided him. It too, took her by surprise, fumbling from his grasp and for a response.

"I, I was going to tell you inside the carriage, that, that I knew….Rhett I knew you wouldn't believe me if I said I do. And now? Well, you have asked me to do what is certain you do not believe."

It tore through his chest just the same as it tore through her bosom, tears streaming down her porcelain countenance. The conversation she intended to have, the feelings she intended to leave with him had been intact only a moment ago. Now it felt no different than the Tara during the war, risking her life to return, to find hope, and losing it to the spoils and injustices of war—to be on the side that sorely lost. There was too much realism shared by the two. The reality was that Scarlett could never hide the truth from him, nor could he to himself. Saying it for her to hear was their complete undoing, a disentangling of emotions that had been tightly woven together, in the world they shared in the carriage. Out in the open, they were worlds apart already, staring at each other, quick strangers again.

He placed a white Panama hat over his head and whispered, "Farewell, Scarlett," then waited from a distance for Bonnie to kiss her mother goodbye.

"Be a good girl for Momma," Scarlett whispered in her ear, to drown out the noise around them, "And Precious, take good care of Daddy, he needs all the love you can give."

"I will Momma," she answered and squirmed out of her hold, running back to Rhett to make sure the distance between them didn't increase.