Disclaimer: Not mine
"Don't women usually wait till they're twenty-nine to get upset over birthdays?"
- Alice Cullen (New Moon)
----------------
BPOV
30
With each ticking second on the clock hanging on the wall, I was getting close to the day I had been trying to avoid for weeks.
My birthday.
My freaking birthday.
My freaking 30th birthday.
My freaking 30th without-a-boyfriend birthday.
Oh God. If you really exist, please please, kill me before I turn 30, kill me at the age of 29 and let me die happily. Amen. I prayed as I unwillingly noticed the calendar on my Blackberry, on which the black bolt September 13th waved at me. Kill. Me. Now.
I clicked open the browser of my office computer to do some "research".
Junkies and their "Golden Shots". I shuddered at the thought of needles pricking my skin. I would not do that, not even at the state of being "high".
Psychic teenager girls with "cutting wrists". Blood, I'd die at the sight of it, not because of tearing some arteries and veins. "Isabella S. (30), Failed suicide attempt"- "I was sure it would be Dead on Arrival, turns out she was sick at the sight of her own blood,"EMT explains. I could already read the newspaper article and they sure would love to round up my age to 30. No, I definitely didn't want this kind of suicide method.
Car accidents. I thought back to that waiter at my favorite Chinese restaurant talking about an accident he had witnessed. What did he say again? Oh yeah. "One car come, one car go. Two cars "bang bang", one car die." No no no, there was no way I would want to sacrifice the good old Chevrolet Charlie had bought me when I moved to Forks during the year of my Junior High...which was 12 point 95 years ago. I had vowed "Till death do us apart" to my dear truck the last time I was being depressive while having the thought of never being able to say those words to an actual person. But even "death" would not do us apart, because I'd be literally driving it to hell. Along with myself.
I was still deep in my thoughts about possible ways of killing myself when I heard a soft knock on the door, bringing me back to reality. The reality of sitting in my office, and being depressed about turning 30 soon. Very soon.
"Bella, honey...You are so beautiful today. I was just thinking..."
"What do you want, Mr. Black?" I growled.
"Honey, since when are we back to formal? And I want a nice blowj..."
"If you "honey" me again, I'll show you my less formal side! And also, just for your information, I am here to blow the minds of wealthy wives to use our products, but definitely, not to blow your little thing down there." Jacob Black, my so called "boss" had been my friend ever since I came into the world with my ass showing to the midwife rather than my head, which was 29 point 95 years ago.
"Objection! It's not a little thi..."
"Try me and it WILL definitely turn little!"
"Bella, I need your help with a new guy starting his internship next week," Jake sensed my bad mood and changed back into my "boss".
"Who?"
"Well, he just finished college and I was thinking maybe you could help him getting started and be his supervisor," he requested.
"Jake, I really don't know. I have a lot things coming up. You know, it is almost that time of the year where christmas for us is around the corner. In September. Christmas requires new designs, new designs means new marketing concept, new marketing concept means research and coming up with new things to..." I tried to explain to him that I didn't want a new job added to my already busy schedule.
"I promise, he won't be a burden, in fact I've heard great things about him," he tried to persuade me.
"What? You are suddenly interested in boys?" I cocked an eyebrow at him. Poor Leah. Poor five hundred other girls from his online fan community. Yes, Mr. Jacob Black did have an internet community created by his female "fans". However, I was never sure about who had created the community, it could have been that he had created himself a fan community.
"How could you? You've missed my outing," he accused, trying to hide the smile. I started to become uncertain about the female fans part.
"Admit it. Leah is a cover-up for you," I challenged him.
"No, she is my fiancée." His eyes sparkled when we spoke about Leah. No gay Jacob as my buddy then. I sighed internally. I kinda liked that idea, actually, I was already planning to paint his nails to try out some new nail polish.
"I'll request more Christmas bonus for you!" He bribed, suddenly turning back to topic. And I had to say, it was tempting. Because which woman, at the age of 29, without a boyfriend, can resist the second best thing next to a guy in her bed: Money.
"Christmas bonus and one week off after New Year!" If I was going to hell, I might as well enjoy it by thinking about the prize. One week off after New Year, with extra money for vacation and a Blackberry left at home. No matchmaking-mom calling, no hyper-active-shopper Alice calling, no work to do. No nothing. Well, maybe some "not-the-drink" Sex on the Beach.
"How about five days off!" He suggested.
"Five weekdays off!" I negotiated.
"That is one week including the weekend, Bella!" Jake was grinding his teeth, I could see it clearly.
"And I am getting this one week!" I demanded.
"Fine, only because I am sure, you'll do your job perfectly until New Year, do we understand each other?"
"Deal!" I reached out my hand. He gladly shook it and turned back to the door.
"Oh and Bella?" Did he just give me THAT look? Yup, he did.
"What?"
"I'll get you some overdose of sleeping pill as your 30th birthday present. Just try and keep your thoughts to yourself when you do some important "research" on the office computer." He smirked knowingly.
"Jake...do you think Charlie will grant me a wish and shoot me straight into my heart?" I asked, knowing that he didn't mind me doing my private surfing.
"I don't think so, Bella!" He suddenly started laughing.
"I am glad to amuse you during my depressing moment!" I mumbled.
"No, I swear it is not about you. But..." He gasped for air.
"But...think about Charlie shooting you and arresting himself...HAHAHA!"
"Fine, I'll cross out this option on the suicide list then!" I tried to ignore the scene he had caused in my mind.
"Seriously, Bella. What's wrong with turning 30?" He asked while calming himself down. After all he was the VP of the whole building. He should know to behave himself during work.
"You know, it's just something like...going to hell."
"No, it's not. I already went through this, and now, I am 31 and not even smelling Satan." He took my hand and looked into my eyes.
"I don't know, Jake...It's the pressure from Renée, she is literally pushing me into a wedding with some guy I don't even know. And believe me, I do want to get settled down since I am turning 30. You know, after all I am a woman. All I thought about in college was climbing the Corporate Ladder, and now, I am a successful woman without a man warming my bed, holding me during sleep, kissing me awake in the morning." I told Jake everything, the only buddy I could share my depressions with.
"Bella, believe me, one day you'll be a successful woman with a man who loves you by your side!" He gently hugged me, comforting me.
"When, Jake? You know, one day, and I don't know how soon it will be, but you already see the signs, I'll turn insane. I mean, look, I am already thinking of different ways to kill myself."
"Well, I do hope that man of yours will appear BEFORE you go insane. And I think some pink pills called Anti-Depressiva will actually be a very good birthday present, don't you think so?" He winked. I had to smile at this comment. Who else could get along with the crazy me?
"Adding the overdose of sleeping pills, I can actually accept your present. Thanks Jake. You know, I love you!"
"Me too. Just do me a favor and stop the ridiculous suicide list. You'll die some day, but I do hope not that soon, and not because you are depressed because of turning 30." He pleaded with his puppy eyes.
"Fine, only if you promise me not to throw a birthday party for me."
"Deal!" He smiled and turned to the door. I walked back to my desk.
"By the way..." He turned around and stood in front of my desk.
"What now? You want to give me some more bottles containing pills?" I asked.
"No. I am not a drug dealer. Actually I want to give you this. His name is Edward Cullen." He winked and handed me a file.
--------------------------------------------
A/N:
Reviews please :)
Chapter 2 will be up sooner if I know that people are interested