A/N: OMFG! I feel like my heads been in a hole! I've only EVER read 2 Yullen fics (my obsession with Uchihacest is very strong at the moment!). Which have been on AdultFanfiction…. And I was all looking up Yullen ff on REGULAR ff and of course its 3 in the morning. And I see this ff by Pay Backs a Bitch. And I'm all like 'oh yullen!... oh fuck, this seems familiar….' Proves to show that great minds think alike! So go read Pay Backs a Bitch's ff. It's called 'Equal Rights for Woman' and it is AMAZING. Well done. Peeps are in character. You know all of that good stuff. Oh and in the fanfic Kanda is sexier then a piece of cheese on Santa's beard, which is dead sexie!! (That's ALL you need to know! LOL!)

SORRY Pay Backs a Bitch if it seems like I totally PWNED your idea! Apparently I have had my head in a hole…

There may be some confusing transitions…. Sorry... green tea keeps me awake but sure as hell doesn't improve my writing.

Träumst Du

"Spwindle?" Allen asked out loud. Not once had he heard a name like that, not even when he had been traveling with Master Cross.

Kanda grunted. "That's what the sign says." The older boy then looked sideways at the younger boy and said "didn't you read the folder?"

Allen felt a blush creep across his face, he hadn't read the folder because when he had seen Kanda he had been so consumed with 'impending doom' that he had not bothered to even so much as glance at the folder. He had glanced at it to see who his partner should have been, so that was down the tube.

Why did he have to be paired up with Kanda out of all people? Why not… so there was no one else! But still he should have been able to be given a choice.

"I-I read it!" Allen had always been a bad liar.

Kanda merely cocked an eyebrow and continued to walk through the train station while ignoring Allen. "Bakanda!" Allen yelled after the retreating boy.

OoOoOo

From the night before

Lavi was screwed. There was nothing to it except for the fact that he was just screwed. The only clothing that he had a tiny towel that barely covered his manly parts! How the hell was he to make it to his room? Especially when he had a mission the next morning.

"Gotta wing it and hope no ones in the halls." Lavi darkly muttered to himself. He still couldn't believe that some pervert had made off with his clothing.

oOoOoO

"I think the look suites you more, Kanda, try them on." Allen groaned. They had long left the train station and were now in the hotel room that would be their home for however long they needed to stay in this godforsaken town called Spwindle,

They now were having the pleasure of looking into the closet to find the clothing that Komui had said would be provided for them to only find that it consisted of dresses that looked too puffy for Allen's comfort and male clothing that looked too big for Allen to even consider wearing. He was now of course trying to convince Kanda that it was in Kanda's best interest to be the one that wore the dresses.

"tch. The dresses seem to look to fit you better then me. Plus the man's," Kanda stressed 'man' a little more than necessary. "Clothing looks to be too big for you, Bean Sprout."

It took two hours before Allen tried on one of the dresses. It was grey, better then the 'give me a headache' pink dress. Now Allen stood in the bathroom and wanted to just die. If Master Cross were able to see him now Allen was sure that the man would have many choice things to say and not one word would be comforting to Allen.

There was no way in hell he was going to step out of the bathroom to have Kanda look at him. Hadn't he repented for his sins enough? Why did he deserve this kind of torture?

"How does it look?" Kanda called mockingly through the door.

"I look like a man who got dressed with the lights off and somehow wandered to his wife's closet," Allen hissed. This was humiliating and the worst part was that in a sick way he knew that Kanda was enjoying every minute of it.

'Tch'

Allen just glared at the door and thanked the heavens that he had locked the lock. "Why the hell don't you do this, Kanda? God knows you have the hair to pull it off. And don't 'tch'!" Allen for one of the few times in his life was beyond angry. He still wanted to melt into the floor and die, but right now he wanted to murder Kanda then melt into the floor and die.

"Shut up, Bean."

A warm feeling began to erupt within Allen. He felt the urge to sock Kanda… In the face. Without thinking Allen unlocked the door banged it open he had a mind to hurt Kanda just for Kanda being annoying. This mission was a bad idea and it had barely even started.

He felt the fingernails piercing his skin as Allen balled his hands up into fists. He was getting ready to punch Kanda so hard that Kanda would see stars for weeks, if he got lucky months. Then Allen noticed how Kanda's lips were pursed in a deliberate attempt to not laugh on the spot.

"My statement stands, Moyashi, the clothing does suite you." With that Kanda walked into his room, which thankfully they each had their own room.

Allen had forgotten all about punching the older man no now he wanted to murder Kanda with a shovel. Soon Allen began trying calculate the odds of getting away with murder when he eventually decided that it was no use, the police looked at the 'spouse/ girlfriend/ in his case 'fiancé'' first.

Later that evening Allen discovered that of course they had no food thus he banged on Kanda's door and demanded the boy to come with him to the store, which is when Kanda made the comment of 'oh you're right, a proper lady never walks by herself' which set Allen into a fit of rage. Eventually though they made their way to the market that so happened to be at the edge of town.

"We need a car," Allen groaned. The damn corsets and heavy woman's clothing really took it out of him.

His thoughts drifted to Lenalee and he began to wonder if the girl had to wear these accursed things. Allen still couldn't get over the fact that he had to force (literally) his short hair into a bun which would be stuffed under a hat 'because his hair was too short to pass for being 'female'. Of course his hair was short! It was manly! Unlike Kanda's hair which was long and girly.

Though Allen did admit to himself that he had wondered why he wasn't able to wear some wig but then realized that he would have to actually wear the wig. And from stories that he had herd from Lavi wigs were itchy, hot, and uncomfortable. Allen had decided against asking Lavi how he knew this, some things are better unsaid.

"When you get a job," Kanda retorted looking ahead with his eyes half closed.

"We're both getting jobs, Bakanda!"

"Tch"

"How do you expect us to survive, the order isn't exactly rich since Komui installed those communal baths," Allen trailed off after he said 'communal baths'. It had been an unspoken agreement between him and Kanda that no one was to mention the Timcanopy incident.

The silence was thick and awkward which made Allen wish that he hadn't said anything at all.

"Fine," Kanda said.

"What?" Allen surprisingly asked. The last thing that he had expected was for Kanda to agree plus after the non-direct mention of the 'incident' Allen was sure that Kanda would snort (very pig like) and walk away.

"Are you deft? I said fine," Kanda grumbled. He couldn't believe that he was actually agreeing to this and without the dumb bean practically begging. At Allen's bewildered expression Kanda added. "It's not right to make the woman bring in all of the income anyways."

Allen stopped in his tracks and watched the retreating back of Kanda. If he hadn't known any better he would think that maybe this was Kanda caring? Allen abruptly shook his head. Something wasn't right. Kanda wasn't being a total ass, Kanda seemed to not be too lazy, and now Kanda seemed to have some sick twisted sense of humor that involved torturing him. Something was very wrong with the world and Allen had decided that maybe he should read the horoscope for that day and determine whether Armageddon was coming soon or not.

Kanda and Allen had been on the mission for a month. Everyone in town somehow knew them, much to Kanda's dismay. And since now everyone knew that they were supposedly 'engaged' he had seen many people whispering about them from behind their hands. 'Why aren't they married yet?' Or else 'do you think she's (of course they pointed directly at Allen) Mr. Kanda's mistress'. At all of these remarks Allen scrunched up his nose and Kanda would merely 'tch.'

The worst part of this mission was not being forced to spend time with Kanda but the part where he actually had to dress up as a girl. It was humiliating. Though he attempted to get out of it as much as possible such as he would put on a wig and take off the horrid make- up from his face that revealed his curse mark, he would then walk around town and pretend to be a visitor. People would smile kindly at him and he felt better knowing that at least he wasn't losing all of his masculinity.

It seemed as though everyone in town knew about Kanda and Allen. Allen didn't even bother changing his first name, if people asked Allen would say that his parents had thought that he was going to be a boy and decided to name him Allen even though he was a 'girl'. Kanda had scoffed at the excuse, but Allen found it usable.

When they had passed by the church there was suddenly an arm draped over his shoulder and when he looked over at Kanda he saw that a short pop-bellied man had had his arm draped around Kanda's shoulder too. Kanda gave the 'don't make me kill you glare' and the man just steered the two into the church. This guy has a serious problem, both Kanda and Allen thought.

"What do you want?" Kanda demanded when the two had been inside of the church. For some reason his mind felt foggy as though he were no longer under control of himself.

"Don't you two lovebirds," Kanda almost interjected until Allen conspicuously stepped on his shoe, warning him not to. "Want to get married in the 'Church of Drool?"

Kanda's eye twitched. What the hell kind of a church was called 'Church of Drool?' Allen was questioning the same thing too in his eyes.

"It's called the Church of Drool 'cause by the end of the service ya'll will be droolin' for each other or if not for each other than for me." The man began laughing at his own bad pun and began rubbing his stomach that jiggled with his laughter.

Kanda tried to turn around and leave, he had better things to do, but found himself rooted to the spot. What was going on?

"But you're not a priest!" Kanda could hear the tremor of terror in Allen's voice. Though Kanda doubted that the man, who he shall only refer to from now on as the Village Idiot, even noticed. Allen too must have realized that there was something going on that didn't meet the eye.

oOoOoOo

Kanda stumbled out of the church. He needed to forget about the last 30 minutes. He would be damned if he had been just forced to marry his sworn rival. Oh dear lord he just married his worst rival though it hadn't been willing it was still marriage.

He needed to get drunk.

oOoOo

Kanda was yet again frustrated. Actually he had no idea what the hell he was feeling thus he did what any man would do that was in his position: he drank. And that was how Kanda had found himself in one of the cheapest bars of Spwindle.

" 'and me anuder beer mishter," kanda drunkenly slurred. He was now on his eighth beer, not to mention the 3 shots of fire whiskey that he had had earlier, which had made it safe for anyone to assume in the bar that the man was good and drunk.

The bartender, Tamesis, looked down at Kanda with a 'what to do now' look in his eye, his other eye was covered in an eye patch. Though Kanda had not yet admitted that in fact he did have a problem when it came to drinking he knew the look well.

Thus he tried to convince the bartender that he was not in fact drunk. "'m n't dwunk…." Kanda then burped, in the most polite manly way possible. ""M'gen!" Kanda reached for his sword but discovered it wasn't there. Shit how was he supposed to convince the barkeeper now?

Tamesis gave the man a questioning look before turning around to grab a glass and filled it to the rim with foaming yellow beer. Kanda gratefully took the glass and looked down into the yellowish contents, if he really thought about it, it looked like horse urine. He wrinkled his nose when he thought about the time when a horse had somehow managed to piss on his white order uniform a few years back, one of the reasons why Komui had decided that black was in fact a better color then white was. Definitely while dealing with horses.

So far Kanda's and Allen's mission had been beyond horrible. They had been forced to get married thanks to the village idiot. Kanda reminded himself that when this mission was over he was going to skin the man alive, he no longer cared about the consequences.

"Better now then later!" Kanda mocked the village idiot whom he had hated. Since he had said it out loud he received many questioning glances from the bar full of men after a few brief seconds some of them raised their glasses as though saying 'know what you're going through' and gulped their drinks down. Some, including Kanda, buried their faces inside of their drinks.

Because of this mission Kanda was now married, to a man, to his worst enemy, to Allen Walker! Oh did he mention that Allen walker was a MAN! "At least it wasn't Lavi," Kanda grumbled to himself and gulped half of the beer in one swig.

He could imagine his future wife now. She would wonder what his last marriage had been like. How would he say it? 'oh yes, honey, I was married to my worst enemy. A man I must add. Don't worry' he would reassure his wife. 'We did not consummate the relationship.'(A/N because that would be what she was totally worried about) After shivering for a good 30 seconds on what his wife's reaction would be he decided that the only way he would even contemplate on telling her is if he either wanted to give her a heart attack or else wanted a divorce.

That was it… his life was ruined, SOILED by the Black Order! That thought brought him back to the present. When they got back Kanda would first demand an annulment, he would then kill/ destroy ALL the evidence that anyone had that him and Allen were married, then lastly he would install a shower in his room.

Tamesis, the bartender, looked down at the now passed out Kanda. He knew that he shouldn't have given the younger man yet another beer, though Tamesis did admit to himself that he was impressed on how much alcohol Kanda was able to handle.

The bartender set down the rag that he was using to clean an already clean glass and contemplated for a moment on what to do with the younger man. Usually he would carry those who passed out into an alley and claim that they had left on their own accord and must have been too drunk to notice that they had left (which worked every time). But Tamesis knew that this was the man who had been the center of gossip and the one who was supposedly newly married. It was hard not to hear about this while running a bar, one was forced unwillingly to keep up with gossip.

"Guess I should call someone to pick 'im up" Tamesis said to himself. Then he directed his attention to the rest of the bar. "'Ey! Do any of you know where 'e lives?"

OoOoOo

Allen was asleep, keyword: was. That was until a phone in his room began ringing and when he answered it, it was a barkeeper saying that his husband, Allen shivered at the thought that Kanda was actually his husband, was passed out at the local bar called "Bar of Bark".

This was why women don't like being married Allen thought to himself. He couldn't help but feel like a house wife. Now Allen would be forced to leave his MANLY sanctuary and go down to some bar, in a dress, to pick up Bakanda! He was sure that the people at the black order were laughing at him. He darkly grumbled to himself as he got dressed, forced his hair back, then shoved a hat on his head.

He had long ago decided that this mission was his private hell. It was as though Komui knew his worst night terrors and decided 'let's make Allen suffer! He hasn't had to deal with that bastard Kanda enough that of course Allen needs to be with Kanda more!'

People outside (or yards away) of the newly weds hotel room could hear the stomping inside the room and the very angry grumbling that followed suite. That was when many decided that the newly weds complimented each other in attitude.

Hesitantly Allen walked into the 'Bar of Bark'. It smelled musty almost like a moldy room that had been closed off then freshly reopened. Allen had found Kanda almost instantly, mainly because Kanda was no longer knocked out and was now in a drunken fit. The blackmail Allen would have after this mission was overwhelming.

"Kanda," Allen gently shook the boy's shoulder. Kanda groggily looked up at Allen. When he saw the spittle of drool escaping from the corner of Kanda's mouth, Allen couldn't help but smile. He also noticed Kanda's drunken flush and his half lidded eyes.

"Wha?" Kanda began to sway on the barstool, Kanda breathed heavily on Allen, which made Allen decide that the moment that they got back to the hotel room he would force the other man to brush his teeth.

Allen began to walk to the door and made the assumption that Kanda would follow that was until he felt someone tackle him from behind. How much had Kanda had to drink to get this clingy? He had always imagined Kanda as one of those really moody drunks not the emotional drunk!

"Don' –hiccup- le've me!"

"I'm not, Kanda!" Allen began to struggle under the weight of the other man. It didn't look it but Kanda was heavy! "Get off me!" Allen hollered and began struggling even more to be let free.

"Your sexie," Kanda slurred into Allen's now bright red ear. Allen stiffened, who was this and what happened to his grumpy Kanda?... wait… his?!

"Kanda, let's go," Allen inwardly complimented himself for not saying that he was a man. "Come one get up." Allen felt as though he were talking to a dog. "Ugh! Kanda don't breath on me! You're breath smells like a golem that curled into your mouth and died! How many beers have you had?"

"I've had…" Kanda lifted his arm and began to point at the different glasses as though he were counting. "…33."

"Kanda, are you drunk?"

"Nooooo," Kanda yelled throughout the bar. He then whispered into Allen's ear. "M'ybe jus' a li'le bi'"

A groan escaped from Allen's lips. There was only 9 beer glasses on the countertop plus 3 shot glasses, which Allen assumed to be whiskey. This alone showed that Kanda was definitely hammered; no sane person could hold that much alcohol and not be drunk.

Allen thanked that barkeeper then with Kanda draped over his shoulder Allen made his way down the street which would have been a hell of a lot easier to walk if he hadn't been forced to wear a dress. He couldn't help but feel embarrassed by the looks that people sent Allen and Kanda. It wasn't his fault that Kanda had to get himself hammered so why did he have to suffer?

"Kanda?" Kanda groaned for what Allen assumed to be a 'yes'. "Why did you go out and get drunk?"

Allen didn't even know why he was asking the older exorcist this. Either Kanda would spiel a drunken rant or else speak the truth, which was very unlikely considering his condition. Allen knew that after what happened earlier he wanted to get drunk himself. He was married to Kanda Yuu for gods sake! When Lavi found out he was going to laugh his ass off. But Allen felt as though he needed to treasure this moment. This was the moment, the only one, where Kanda was this close. Where Kanda was this human. Where Kanda seemed to almost care.

"'Tis –hiccup- 'cause of you," Kanda's drunken slur still had not left but it appeared to Allen as though Kanda were becoming more aware of his surroundings.

"H-how?" Allen asked nervously, he wasn't sure how the hell he was supposed to deal with a drunk Kanda. He had expected Kanda to say something on the lines of 'because of that damn Village idiot'

Kanda then shifted a little on Allen's shoulder, almost uncomfortably. "You don't undwestand."

Allen found himself to have broadened his smile. He knew why he was smiling, but it was wrong. Throughout this mission he had felt as though him and Kanda were becoming closer. This wasn't normal though, Allen kept on telling himself. Kanda hated Allen. He hadn't even so much as tried to disguise it. It would nor could ever change; Kanda was too stubborn for his own good. If Kanda were to know what Allen were thinking Kanda would surely tell him otherwise.

"Watz wong?" The still drunk Kanda asked as he stumbled over a rock.

"What do you mean?" Allen asked. Suddenly he felt a hand on his face, when Kanda withdrew his hand there was a water droplet on it that was Allen's tears. Tears so silent that Allen had not even noticed. Though Allen didn't even have to ask himself why he were crying. "Nothing." Allen said with no emotion. He smiled at the older boy and was glad that Kanda was drunk. He would not hear the end of it if Kanda weren't intoxicated.

"Then why are you leaking?"

That was the day that Allen realized that he was unconditionally in love with Kanda Yuu. Though like his tears, Allen would remain silent.

oOoOoOo

Preview for next chapter: "Moyashi!" Kanda yelled and began banging on Allen's door. Allen hadn't looked at him, much less talked to him in days. It made Kanda anxious and he hated feeling this way.

To kanda's surprise the door opened to reveal a worn out looking Allen. Kanda had expected Allen to start yelling at the older boy for banging on his door so recklessly. Yet there the younger exorcist was, but Allen did not look at Kanda. Allen eyes were fixed on the wall behind Kanda as though Allen thought that Kanda wouldn't notice...'

This chapter was cut in half… It would have been like 8,000- 10,000 words and that would have been way too much… so this is shortened edition! Originally this wasn't going to be chapter 2, but I think chapter 5… But I got bored during psychology and started writing this scene. In the super exclusive (meaning a gift to a friend!) version of this chapter there are two times where Kanda gets drunk and a lemon.

Hope you liked…. –cries-

REVIEW! They are the green tea that keeps me alive… seriously… I've been up for over 24 hours solely because of green tea's caffeine godliness. –sips tea- Damn. I need to study for my AP European history test and my psychology one… fudge.

Will try to have updated by Sunday. No guarantees.

-Vegimeat