((NOTE: From the last chapter, that whole bit about Squilliam driving at 6, 12, having been in Juvenile Hall - that's all Squilliam being full of it. That is, telling SB BS. Same with the bit about him and Squidward having been at Jellyfish Fields watching Patrick and SB that Sunday.

Anyway, here's the next chapter, sorry it's short. Hope you enjoy the story so far.))

From the call, and because he'd pulled some strings, Squilliam found out that both a pink starfish AND an octopus wearing a brown shirt had been on the bus; furthermore, he was able to find out the general location of where the octopus and two others had gotten off. The bus had not been going to Rock Bottom, but, in fact, to Half Points. Squilliam was familiar with the town, as he'd done a few clarinet performances at the music hall there.

He hung up the phone when, suddenly, from literally right behind him came a voice, startling him. "PAAATRRRIIIICK!" He whirled around to see the sponge and starfish hugging. He folded his arms and smiled, grateful he wasn't the one being hugged for once. Then, he turned on his heel and left. He went to his boat, got in and buckled up. It was time to go rescue HIS friend. He started the engine, put it in gear, and sped off for Half Points.

[[SCENE CHANGE]]

He'd pulled onto the freeway when obnoxious laughter from behind him was heard. He slammed on the brakes and the boat screeched to a halt on the side of the road. He put on the emergency brake, unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to confront his two stowaways. "What do you two barnacle brains think you're doing in my boat!?"
"Oh, Patrick and I are going to help you save Squidward of course!" The sponge said, beaming.
"What!?"
"Oh, you don't need to thank us!" The sponge exclaimed happily. "It's the least we could do after you found Patrick!"
"I did not 'find Patrick'! He just walked into that grease trap!" The sponge elbowed his friend.
"See? I told you he was such a humble guy!" Then back to the frustrated octopus. "Don't worry, we'll find him!"
"Alright, I'm turning this car around and bringing you two back to Bikini Bottom and kicking you out of my boat!"
"Oh no! You can't do that!" The sponge gasped. "There's no time, we've got to save Squidward before those bad guys do something terrible to him!" And a beat passed. Then Squilliam gave a heavy sigh.
"Fine.." He said, defeated. Too much time had been wasted already. "Then you can come, but behave yourselves! And remember that I need to concentrate on driving, SO BE QUIET and don't bother me! We have a long drive ahead of us!"
"Aye-aye, Captain!" The two answered saluting. Squilliam sighed and turned back around. He rebuckled his seatbelt, disengaged the emergency brake and pulled back onto the highway. The powerful motor in his boat quickly caught up to speed. He pulled into the fast lane and gunned it hard, pushing the speed limit. Actually, he just hoped no cops were around, not that he cared about the ticket, provided the officer would even give HIM one, but that he couldn't afford the delay. And that was why Squilliam obeyed the speed limits.. Well, mostly.. He was pushing them, going a few over.. and watching carefully for any cars that just might be a cop. Some idiot tailgated him, someone in what they clearly thought was a hot rod, but though he could've shown the racer a thing or two about a real car with serious power behind the hood, he instead switched lanes and let the other go on by. He ignored the other's smug honking as they sped by. 'Yeah, you just keep that up..' He thought, giggling to himself. 'Then the cops will be watching you and not me.' And he switched back to the fast lane. However..

Of course, his two stowaways were not so easily persuaded to behave when together and shortly began with their nonsense. At first, Squilliam just tried to ignore it, but it didn't take long to escalate to the point where he began snapping at them. He survived their antics for about 40 minutes before it got out of control and he literally couldn't focus anymore. By this point, Patrick was out of his seat and pestering Squilliam, attempting to turn on the radio by pushing, pulling, and twisting every control in sight. This included wipers, turn signals, hazard lights, and, at one point, Squilliam was just barely able to stop him from hitting the ignition key. To his credit, the octopus managed to even keep the boat on the road - though not quite in his lane, admittedly - and not cause any accidents during. Even when the starfish DID finally find the radio and cranked the volume up to full, he managed to keep the car in control despite the sudden blaring of 'Boys Who Cry' - apparently Squidward's tape was still in the player - in his ears..

After that, though, events unfolded that he could no longer keep control. The sponge got involved and all three frantically tried to turn the volume back down. In the chaos, someone engaged the emergency brake. The boat went spinning out of control, tyres screeching. Not even The Fabulous Squilliam could prevent them from flying off the road and slamming into a field with rocks. The boat crashed and only the boat's special safety systems saved everyone from an untimely end. Squilliam still blacked out from the force of the impact.

***

Squilliam had no idea how much time had passed when he came to. At first, he didn't even know what'd happened or where he was. As his mind cleared of the darkness, he became aware of pain. When he managed to open his eyes, he first saw he was staring at the ground. He looked around slowly and realized he was inside a boat.. Something was pressing hard against him, squishing him to the door. That something moved and he cried out in pain. Then the pressure disappeared altogether with a deep groan. He nearly lost consciousness again, just barely managing to hang on. A series of slaps to his cheek brought him back.
"Squilliam?" A worried voice called to him. "Are you alright?" The octopus forced himself to reality. Memories came back. The sponge was leaning over him. Squilliam was belted to the seat. The boat was laying on its side. The driver's side window was shattered. The airbags had deployed, now hanging limply over the steering wheel, and radio. The octopus reached to undo his belt and hit a small three-fingered hand. Suddenly, the belt released him. He tested his limbs. Everything worked. The pain was due to a pounding in his head. He could move. So, he did. Pulled the seatbelt free of himself and looked up to the passenger door.

He slowly pulled his legs under him, righting himself, and reached to the door. The sponge was hanging over his seat. He groaned.
"We.. We have to.." Speaking was hard, his voice weak. "Get.. Get out.. The door.." He gave up, and instead forced himself to stand up and open the passenger door. It took some doing, but the other two helped and managed to pop the door open. They all crawled out, first the sponge, then Squilliam and, as he was pulling his legs up, the starfish wanted to take his turn and caused them both to topple onto the ground, Squilliam crushed underneath him.
"Y-you.." He gasped for breath. "N-nitwit.." And the starfish moved off him, crushing the rest of the air from the octopus' lungs as he did so. Suddenly freed of Patrick's weight, Squilliam gasped to desperately drew a breath, filling his lungs.

It would be some time before the octopus would be able to pull himself, staggering, to his feet. But, he managed to, and his body seemed intact. He ached in places he didn't know he had, and his head hurt worse than the morning after a wild party with way too many bottles of hard alcohol, but he was okay. At least, he was a lot better off than his boat. It was totaled, and leaking vital fluids. Speaking of vital fluids, Squilliam suddenly realized he was bleeding. A quick assessment revealed a bloody nose, split lip, and.. Well, based on how bad the left side of his face, including his eye, was hurting.. He'd gotten a real shiner too. He carefully removed his neckerchief and covered his nose. He stumbled over to a nearby rock and down on the ground, leaning back against it. His head was spinning and he felt sick. Was that a concussion? He wondered.. it reminded him of that.. He knew what one felt like.. this seemed familiar.. He forced himself to just take slow, careful breaths whilst pinching his nose.

The sponge was all over him, asking how he was doing, if he was okay, and just generally fussing over him. He moaned, and gave him a task. "G-go to.. to the boat.." He began, his voice still weak. "First aid kit.. Trunk.. Bring it h-here.." He hoped he was clear. The sponge scurried off and the octopus closed his eyes, just trying to breathe and keep it together. After a short time, he heard the sponge speaking to him.
"Here, Squilliam. Sorry it took so long, but the trunk was stuck. Patrick had to help." Squilliam opened his eyes and glanced at the boat. His breath caught in his throat, it looked like the trunk had been cut open with a huge can opener. He groaned, decided he just didn't even want to know. He took the kit from the sponge and opened it. The first thing was to take out the mirror to get a good look at his face. He moaned loud, then cursed. His beautiful facade looked as though.. well, as though he'd been in a bad boat wreck. Bruised up, swollen, blood and dirt.. unibrow no longer neatly combed.
"I hate you two.. so much.." He was furious, but not able to produce more than a hissing whisper. And that was it, overwhelmed, the octopus toppled over unconscious.

((To be continued...))