A/N: I'm so sorry for not updating! I probably shouldn't put up a date for the next chapter so I don't disappoint you. Anyways this is my shortest update I just wanted to update to say "i'm alive", but to make up for it I will post another chapter tomorrow! I will be posting a Samchel oneshot as well so look out for it! Also I changed the rating to M and for a very good reason, I promise though it isn't going to be lemon 24/7 just so I can work get some better ideas to the fix and start getting inspired enough to write Plus what I added was totally needed. This came to me by watching a commercial which I know is weird. I'm not beta'd but if anyone would like to beta me, I'll be extremely happy. This story is completely AU, so unless I explain why Rachel knows them. She hasn't met them yet. Enjoy.
Title: Match Me
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine, Santana/ Rachel/Quinn/Brittany/Kurt Friendship, Rachel/Finn sort of, Rachel/ Artie, Rachel/ Puck , Brittany/ Finn, Santana/Artie, Quinn/Puck and Rachel/Sam (duh [;)
Rating: Right now its M.
Plot: Turning 30 was scary enough; turning 30, single with a cat was terrifying. So she decides to join online dating. With a few terrible dates will she ever find love? And why is her neighbor acting so weird towards her?
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee blah. I can decide which characters I'm using and what not it's MY decision if I want to use all Glee Characters… Oh and Rachel isn't a vegan. Don't favorite without leaving a tiny review please?
Rachel found herself waking up with a pounding headache and a throbbing feeling from her lower regions. This is why she didn't drink anymore. She was a horny drunk and she usually got some innocent man to bring her home and take advantage of him. She sighed and looked at the clock on her nightstand. 7:26 am, She thankfully didn't have to be at the office until noon, which meant she had to start to get ready at 10:00. She could take her time and do her business and still get up to have a good breakfast with enough time to spare. She lazily reached over to her naughty drawer and picked up the pink vibrating dildo that Santana had gotten her when she figured out that the only person she ever dated was in the eighth grade and at the time was a virgin.
Sighing Rachel imagined herself on a beach somewhere with a hot surfer with an amazing body on top of her. In her mind that surfers name was Sam Evans, but her being in denial pretended she didn't know the man's name. She entered the helpful vibrating tool inside her and felt herself in complete bliss. She bit the corner of her lip to try and contain her screams, but the lack of sex and with her release approaching she couldn't help but let out several moans. With her screaming she didn't hear the foot steps in the living room approaching her door, not did she care. She was milliseconds from releasing when she heard him.
"Holy fucking god!" Sam's eyes practically feel from his skull.
"Shit Sam!" Rachel immediately turned off her toy and sat up glaring at the blonde boy from her fantasy. "What the fuck Sam, don't you fucking knock!"
"I did! But you didn't answer and then I heard screaming so used that key that you gave me for those times that you lock yourself out. How the fuck was I suppose to know you decided to wake up and screw yourself! I'm not a fucking mind reader!" He glared back. "Although I gotta admit, that was kinda of hot, I didn't know you even owned a toy." He laughed before climbing into the king size bed.
Rachel glared at him and scooted away from him before slipping the toy back into its proper drawer. "What are you even doing here you ass wipe."
"Ooh someone's a little grumpy that they didn't get to cum, its alright if you want to finish, I wont mind." He laughed as Rachel growled at him. "Anyways, remember that girl from the 3rd floor that owns the bakery and has a little bit of a crush on me? She gave me like a dozen of these french thingy with strawberries and stuff. I thought you would like to cheat on your diet with me to make me feel better."
Rachel grunted before making herself climb out of bed. She stretched a little bit before exiting her room and heading for the kitchen. She was going to need coffee if she was going to be dealing with him.
"Come on, Rachel. I'm sorry I walked in whilst you were having your little moment, but you can't be that mad. I mean seriously my mom walked in on me once and that was way worse!" He laughed as he followed her.
Rolling her eyes and starting the coffee pot, for the first time she noticed that Sam was only in a pair of black sweat shorts and nothing else on top showing his abs. The abs she just had a sex fantasy about. Smirking lightly she got two mugs out of her cabinet. Rachel opened her mouth to say some witty remark, but was immediately shut up from Sam shoving a piece of pastry in her mouth. She glared at the boy before chewing on the delightful piece of heaven in her mouth. Chuckling at Her Sam himself took a bite.
"You're an ass you know that? We eat then your out of here, I have to check my email before I go to work, and It might take awhile.
Once again sorry it took so long, and sorry it was so short! But its winter break so I'll try to get 3 more updates before January 3rd! Review please!
~Janice