Here's Chapter 1! Enjoy!

Characters & Music are not mine, but the rest is!

Chapter 1:

**Chapter songs:**

Rosyln by Bon Iver & St. Vincent

Island in the Sun by Weezer

Shake me Down by Cage the Elephant

It's been almost a month since the accident. I don't go out; I don't see anyone or really talk to anyone. Only my mom and step-dad Luke, but only when they speak to me first. All I do anymore is get up, force down a little food, sit under my favorite oak tree overlooking the stream behind my house, then go back to bed and pretend to sleep. I haven't slept a full night in a while and I know the dark purple shadows under my eyes are pretty bad.

I get up today thinking it will be just like the day before, but this time it's different. I go out to sit under my tree trying to lose myself in the numbness that has consumed me for the last several weeks when I feel the air shift around me and someone sits down beside me. I look over and stare into the dark eyes of my brother.

"Hey little sis."

"Hey." I say and look out at the stream.

"Mom and Luke called."

"Did they?"

"Yeah. They're both really worried about you and so am I, Clary."

I look at him and see he really is worried. That and he hardly ever calls me Clary. I look down at my hands.

"I'm sorry. I just...I'm doing the best I can right now. It's so hard being here when everything hurts so badly."

Jon pulls me against him and hugs me. "I know. That's one reason why I'm here."

I pull back to look at him. "What do you mean?" I ask curious as to why he is here.

"I want you to come live with me for a while. You need to get out of here, away from this town and besides I miss you. What do you say? Come live with me."

I stare at him and see he is completely serious. "What about mom?" I ask wondering what she would say to this.

"I already talked to her about it and she thinks it would be good for you too." he says with a small smile.

I look out to the stream and try to gather my thoughts. If I did this, I could start over and get a job and start a new life. I'm not going anywhere here. That realization confirmed what I should do. I look at my brother who is still looking at me with a hopeful smile.

"Ok. I'll do it." And for the first time in weeks, I smile a real smile.

o.O.o

Jon and I begin packing right away and I feel some excitement growing for the first time in a long time. It feels foreign to me and it also makes me feel guilty to be feeling anything but sadness. So I try to focus on packing instead.

"How permanent is this move?" I ask wondering if I should take all my clothes or just the warm weather clothes.

"You can stay as long as you like. I was thinking in exchange for staying rent free, you could help me around the apartment with cooking and maybe laundry." he says with a playful smile.

"Uh huh, I'm sure you would love that. That will work until I get a job of my own and start paying you rent." I say with my hands on hips.

"But if you stayed rent free and got a job, you could save your money and get a place of your own. I'm sure you don't want to live with me forever." he says with a cocky grin, knowing he had a point.

"Fine. You win. I'll cook and do your laundry." I say with a sigh.

"Don't forget the grocery shopping. You'll have to do that too. You know since you'll be the one cooking and all." he says sheepishly.

I glare at him and throw a wad of socks at him to which he blocks and laughs before going back to packing. In the end, I pack all of my clothes and shoes, but none of my furniture. Jon says he has bedroom furniture in the spare room already. I take my sketch pad and pencils even though I haven't drawn in a while. Jon's car is packed full of my stuff and my mom and Luke come to say good-bye. My mom pulls me in for a hug.

"This will be so good for you, baby. I love you." she says with tears in her eyes.

Luke hugs me next and says, "Take care of yourself. We're always here for you, you know that right?" I nod.

"Yeah, I know Luke. Take care of mom and I love you both." I say looking at my parents.

"Jon, keep an eye on your sister." Mom says to him as I climb into the car.

"I will mom. Bye guys. Love you." he says and gets in and starts the engine.

"Ready Clary-berry?"

I roll my eyes at the nickname and take a deep breath, "Yeah, I'm ready."

And then we leave behind the old memories and head toward making new ones.

o.O.o

Jon and I ride for about an hour talking about trivial things. Never talking about things that will remind me of anything from recently. After a while, we stop at a road side diner to grab some food. We slide in a booth by the window and order our food.

"Tomorrow, I'll invite some of my friends over and introduce you so you can get to know them. Let me warn you though, they're all guys and one or two can be a real douche." Jon says to me as we're looking out the window.

"They sound so nice. I can't wait." I say sarcastically.

Jon laughs and says, "Really, they're not that bad. And they'll be nice to you or I'll beat the shit out of them."

I roll my eyes, but secretly love the protective older brother act he puts on in front of people. Jon and I are 18 months apart, but 2 years difference in school. I'm now 20 and was taking classes at the community college near home, but quit after the accident. Jon just turned 22 and is working for our uncle at his law firm.

"None of these friends of yours have girlfriends?" I ask glancing back over to Jon.

"Nah. We're too busy playing the field to be tied down to one girl right now." he says with that cocky grin of his.

"Ew, Jon, I better not hear any noises coming from your room when you bring some slut home with you. Are all your friends players?" I ask with disgust plain on my face.

He laughs again and says, "Pretty much."

Just then the waitress brings over our food and winks at Jon before walking back behind the counter.

"What did I just get myself into?" I groan looking pointedly at Jon.

He laughs and says, "It's not as bad you're thinking. I promise. Eat. You look like you haven't eaten in a while."

I tense slightly and give him a small smile and start eating. When we are done, we get back in the car and drive the rest of the way just listening to the radio. Another hour later and we arrive in my new city. I stare out the window at all the tall buildings and people rushing around. The energy here is exciting and I find myself smiling.

"What are you grinning about?" Jon asks me while stopping at a red light.

"It's so busy here. I like it." I say smiling back at my brother. "Thanks for bringing me here."

He grabs my hand and squeezes it. "I'm glad you're here. And not because you'll be doing my cooking and laundry. I really have missed you, Cherry drop."

I shake my head and can't help but smile. "You and the nicknames you have for me."

"You know you love each and every one of them."

I laugh and go back to looking out the window. When we get to the apartment building, I look around and notice that it looks like an older building, but well kept. It also has some really nice architectural elements to it. We unload all of my stuff and go into Jon's apartment. He shows me around and then to my new room. I unpack my clothes and put them away and then I see my sketch pad. I pick it up and sit on the window seat in my room. Looking out, I see a small park next to the apartment building. And for the first time since Simon died, I begin to draw.

Read and Review :) Until next time. . . .