I've not given up yet on that idea. It's hard to stop myself constantly checking I've still got the amulet. Maybe it was destined to all happen like he said. But I dont see why it should be me here in the middle of all this, or how someone from home has predicted events on this world. Still I'm sorry I failed you all, fate or not.
I need to get moving soon, already wasted too much time on this journal, but I know there's too big a chance I'll die where I'm going, and if this is ever found; especially if anyone from home ends up here at least there might be a record of what's happened to me, and why I went.
No wonder Baurus didn't hesitate so much to believe what I said, I was speaking through barely contained sobs. Stood in range of the paralysis spell, I could only uselessly watch the assassin I'd believed I could stop. By jamming that hidden passage door shut, or smacking them on the head as they came out. Couldn't hold the door, it just slid past my fingers as I strained to try and hold it. Then with just a gap I saw a glow as the assassin used that spell. As a player I used to sit and click past the dialogue to move my impassive character on so I could wander off. I've never seen people actually die before, never mind murdered in front of me. What if I have to fight anyone myself? I'd known what was coming and should have easily managed to explain it so to prevent their deaths. It's my fault. And now when they were unknowingly meant to have some 'hero' they got the wrong person. I owe them. So I'm going once I'm prepared.
Sorry for the scrawl but I'm writing fast. Stuff worth knowing, and what my plan is. I've got some gear from the trek through the underground, probably all I need given I've now figured I'll try to overtake events. There's no talk of any attack on Kvatch yet. I refuse to accept all this as some obedient puppet to 'fate' on a world which shouldn't even exist.
Ok I've got potions; they really work thank god. (Or gods.) That last assassin nearly took a chunk out of my arm before Baurus got him. The potion I used seemed to vaporise, bottle and all out of my hand, and my flesh near instantly fabricated back as it was.
Already discovered I could use the spells when I'd thought to try it earlier. I felt it like a warmth in my veins as I stretched my hand up and mumbled 'heal'. Wow! Wonder if saying the name properly and holding my arm up more fluidly gets better results. Bet I'll get plenty of practice on the way...
Magic seems to permeate this world more that I ever realised it could. I found after I salvaged the armour (mouldy smelling but damn comfy) and weapons, far from having to carry it all in my arms or in a bag, an understanding came to me how focusing as I grasped an item, it could vanish yet still be in my awareness and feel its weight. Calling the warhammer to my hands in itself I could marvel at. Could barely carry, never mind effectively swing the damn thing though so left that behind.
Only just getting used to the sword as it is, though I have to admit I think I enjoy using it, once I get past seeing the sickening damage it can do on animals. But if those goblin things want to try to hurt me they can expect this thing in the face.
Even the torch I got, hold it aloft and you can light it with just a tiny spark of fire without using a whole spell. Handy.
Need more repair hammers. Hard to use but they work too. Hold over the fault or damage and focus as you strike. I suck at using them; mine shattered into dust leaving me dumbly staring at my empty hand. I'll try A Fighting Chance. Seems an appropriate name and looks near on the map stuck in the back of the journal. Drawing a quick map of Earth in here too before I leave town. I can draw it better later, this is just in case.
Gonna sidetrack as little as possible, stop at a chapel and buy a spell to heal wounded people I might come across. Maybe try a quick prayer too, not all that religious but why not.
If I'm alive I'll update this later. Wish I could stay longer in this city, it's huge. Same layout but far more here than the game showed. Hope there's public toilets of some sort, there's enough damn sewers. Oh yeah- kids running about. How idiotic am I to be surprised they exist? I bet Khajiit kids are cute!
The Watch guards changing shifts now look unsettled, I think word has already got round. Ok time to go before that shop shuts. ~