"Who are coming?" whispered Frodo, looking very afraid indeed, as Sam patted his arm reassuringly.
"The Mary-Sues'," Gandalf intoned, looking as if he would rather be stuck in a room with Sauron and 10 Balrogs, rather than face the Mary-sues'.
"What new evil is this?" cried Aragorn, to which Gandalf replied-
"Run, run for it!"
And so they did.
Bursting out of the chamber, they sprinted away, running as fast as their legs could carry them, narrowly evading the approaching Mary-Sues'. With a nance and a pout, the Mary-Sue's began chasing them.
"Gandalf!" yelled Boromir. "Pray tell, why are we running away from such fair maidens? How could they possibly harm us? And if they meant to kill us, can we not just turn and fight them?" (Note that in practically every Mary-sue alive, Boromir is a sexist bastard. So here, he will again be a sexist bastard)
"Boromir of Gondor," said Gandalf. "A simple lesson you need to learn-Appearances often deceive. These 'fair maidens' as you call them, are the very bane of Middle-earth. But there is no time to explain. Swords are no more use here! Hurry! To the bridge of Khazad-dûm!"
They dashed on, following the dim light from Gandalf's staff. The Balrog, sensing the presence of many, prepared to emerge from the depths of Moria. But alas! Alas for the Balrog! A Mary-Sue leapt forward to face him, her blue eyes sparkling, blonde hair rippling behind her.
"Hey GIRLFRIEND! I'm Barbecuemonkeyfaceham! Wanna like, get with it and join me? I'm like, saving Frodo from this big fiery Balrog thing. Frodo is so totally RAD! Hey, have you, like, seen a big fiery thing around here?"
The Balrog, as soon as he heard all this, whimpered in fear and fled.
"Oh, that is sooo cute!"At long last, the bridge was in sight.
"Over the bridge!" cried Gandalf. "Fly! I will hold the way!"
Most heeded his orders, with the exception of Aragorn and Boromir, who stood their ground, ready to help Gandalf. The others halted just as they reached the other end of the bridge, and turned, not willing to leave their Companions behind.
Glamdring glittered white as Gandalf gripped it, ready to face the fast approaching Mary-Sue's.
"You cannot pass!"
"Oh, help, I'm so frightened. Ah, ah, help." Quipped another of those dazzling beauties, this one named Babydoll, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
Gandalf looked slightly put off, but held his ground.
"I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass!"
"Oh, go climb up a tree." Was Babydoll's reply. Then all of them were momentarily distracted as one of the Mary-Sues' darted away. There were sounds of a brief scuffle, before the Mary-sue returned, clutching a kicking, spitting, Gollum.
"Getss your handss of Gollum…poor poor Gollum wantss the preciouss! Gollum gollum," hissed the wretched creature, clawing at the Mary-sue till she pinned his arms to his sides.
"Nikki always gets her Gollum," said the Mary-sue smugly, before noticing that everyone was staring at her.
"Just because I got Gollum and you didn't, is no reason for you people to be jealous," Nikki said, at which everyone, including the Fellowship, shuddered involuntarily in disgust.
Gollum suddenly wrenched a hand free from Nikki's grasp and clawed at her hand, making it bleed.
"AHHHH! BLOOD!" squealed Nikki, sinking to the floor rather gracefully, clutching her hand, her piercing, clear green eyes conveying a message of pain, although there was but a minuscule spot of blood on her "injured" hand, as Gollum squirmed free and scampered away into the darkness.
"Playing hard to get, eh, Gollum, my sweet?" Nikki cried out into the gloom, her voice as mystical as the wind. "I will find you, and we will be together forever, just as we were always meant to be! I will melt your frozen soul! Soothe your tormented heart! Heal your troubled mind! I know you love me Gollum, you are just afraid of what you are feeling! "
"Ai, Elbereth Gilthoniel, I feel sick," moaned Legolas, after listening to Nikki's sickly sweet tirade.
"Oh Legolas, come with me, I am wise, I can heal you!" chorused many voices immediately, as the Mary-sues' advanced onward again.
Legolas took one look at the Mary-Sue's and-
"GAAAAAAAAAAHH!"
Fled from Moria, his companions hurrying to keep up with him.
Author notes: So how was that? I think I was a little off when it came to Nikki the Mary-Sue, apologies for that. Sorry, I can't exactly stick everybody in yet. Anyway, if any of you other people want to create you Mary-sue for this, feel free to sign up! Application form in the 1st chp! Mary-Sue's object of affection need NOT be restricted to the Fellowship alone, (slashy-sue's are welcome also!) Note that Gandalf, Gimli and Pippin have yet to have any Mary-Sue's tormenting them. So get to it! Everyone who wants to be in will get in! No worries!
-Millikov