Ahoy there my amigos! It is a miserable rainy day here in London; so I thought I'd escape to a sunnier part of the world and see how Dave and Kurt are faring. I think this may turn into a 4-part story or so, but we'll see how it goes.
Oh! And I have realised that I'm rubbish at the whole 'hidden angst' game so don't worry, I won't put you through any more of those. In case anyone wanted to know, the last hidden packet was in Elvis Costello's 'I want you' lyrics. The lyrics are brilliant and I can't do them justice, but it starts off with the narrator proclaiming his love to this woman, however we soon realise that their relationship is over and she is now with some other douche, and even though it pains him to think on those two, he still does and wants to know all the intimate details of this new sexual relationship and it ends with him sadly continuing to proclaim his almost undying/ intense love to this woman. Anyway that's a really brief and simple summary of a whopping 6 minute song and although it doesn't fit with this AU of Kurt and Dave, it kind of fits in with what I think Dave and Kurt's relationship is like by the end of the canon. And finally (gosh this is a long intro!) I recommend listening to the song if any of you have spare time kicking around, because Costello is an amazing artist. Haha! Right! Time to get stuck in!
"Look David!" Kurt squealed excitedly, bouncing up and down and lightly clapping his hands together. "We're entering the Botticelli room! Doesn't being immersed in all this culture and unbelievable talent make you feel so...stimulated?" He paused and waited for Dave's response, but the only difference in David's silence was an increase of rustling from the map, so he didn't bother to turn around. "I mean I know that a woman's form doesn't exactly appeal to me" Kurt continued regardless "but there is something about 'The birth of Venus' that makes me just go 'wow'!" Kurt chuckled softly to himself; "And I know, I know. You're going to say it is so cliché to head straight for Botticelli's most famous painting when there are so many great works of his, but God, does it take my breath away. Don't you agree?" At last Kurt couldn't go on talking to himself like a crazy person, so he turned round and looked expectantly at David who, surprisingly, had his head just inches away from the gallery map, studying it intently.
Kurt's expression turned from that of curiosity to one of understanding as he sympathetically and touched Dave's bicep and said gently; "Now David, we all know that you are gay, but a woman's body shouldn't freak you out that much sweetheart." A soft grunt was all the response Dave gave before he orientated the map 30 degrees to the left and then clasped Kurt's hand, which was now trailing down his forearm in defeat, into his own bigger palms. "Okay babe, I heard you loud and clear, come on; I've found just the place." At that, Dave began to tug on Kurt's hand, wanting him to follow with a determined, if slightly flushed, expression on his face.
"Wait! What place?"
Dave let out an exasperated sigh and explained like it was obvious; "You said 'stimulated', and then something, something 'appeal to me' and 'make me just go wow'. So I figured you wanted me to, you know," he wiggled his eyebrows comically "'take your breath away'." and Dave continued to pull on Kurt's hand, his grin growing wider with every pull back of resistance from Kurt.
"I should have known that from everything I said, you would interpret anything vaguely suggestive as me saying I want sex with you right here on this floor."
"No! Not this floor specifically!" Dave looked wounded for a brief second before his lips couldn't hold back the grin he was forming; "It's actually another floor just down the hall, turn to the left and then back down a flight of stairs."
"I will not have sex with you David!" Kurt stated louder than necessary. Suddenly there were sounds of shuffling feet from behind and Kurt turned his head to the side, just catching a glimpse of a few tourists moving away. He tilted his lowered head back to David and found Dave's muscular frame shaking by his side as he tried hard to keep his laughter from exploding out.
Unfortunately, Dave never had much self restraint and a giggle escaped. Though, in his attempt to mask the sound with a coughing fit, it made Dave laugh more furiously at his pathetic attempt and soon, the ridiculously unconvincing coughs morphed into chest barrelling laughs. Kurt twisted his body to face him and narrowed his eyes. "I'm sorry babe! But that" a splutter of laughter "was too funny!" Kurt held on to his glare a second more, until he sighed and let his shoulders sink, turning away from the artwork on the wall.
Dave caught Kurt's dejected face and the insides of his chest ached. He let out a small groan; David could never stand seeing Kurt sad. So, without a moment's more hesitation, Dave grabbed Kurt into a bear hug; one hand secured around Kurt's waist, the other playing tenderly with the back of Kurt's hair. "Now, let's see, where are we?" Dave mused into the top of the slightly smaller man's head; "Ah, you've taken me to the Botticelli paintings. How very curious..." His voice turned lower and more gravelly, soothing Kurt's hurt. Dave turned around, taking an unwilling Kurt with him to face 'The birth of Venus'. "Oh! You're right; she is beautiful. But don't worry; she hasn't got a scratch on you. To be honest, I think it may be her six-pack that draws me in." The affectionate rumble of Dave's chuckle drew Kurt to turn his head from its position of being squashed flat into Dave's Pecs, to lay his ear against Dave's chest; hearing the vibrations of his voice mixed with the beating of his heart. "Though, as I said before, it is extremely strange that we're in this particular room, it's like the sisters of fate has brought us here" Dave continued.
As Dave had hoped, Kurt's interest had been sufficiently piqued and Kurt waited in silence for Dave to elaborate. Dave milked the anticipation for all it was worth and he paused in the silence, basking at how he had Kurt hooked on him.
Kurt huffed out a whisper of a laugh and nudged Dave's chest with his head, "in your own time then."
"Well whenever I see a Botticelli, I'm always reminded of who he was apprenticed by-it was this old guy called Fra Filippo Lippi. And the story with him is that one day while he was living near Florence, he met this absolutely gorgeous woman who was, like, being guarded by nuns. You know, it was a damsel in distress kind of scenario." Dave shook his head absently, his lips brushing back and forth across Kurt's scented hair. Dave shivered and held Kurt closer, "Damn Kurt, you smell so hot right now."
The heat of Dave's mouth as he breathed out and licked his lips sent waves of arousal through Kurt's hair and down his neck. Dave's mouth lingered a while and his hand that was still playing with Kurt's hair travelled down and began stroking lazy lines across Kurt's neck. Dave cleared his throat and tried to pick up his bearings;
"And anyway, when Lippi laid eyes on this woman, he asked the nuns if she could be used in one of his paintings- I think he wanted her to be his Madonna. And of course, how could the nuns say no to her being the Virgin Mary! It would be like them lifting up their skirts and flashing Jesus before peeing in the holy water or something! But here's the interesting part," Dave's voice suddenly turned coy "what he really did was abduct her and had bed banging sex with this chick all day and all night! ...So like I said, it's like Fate trying to send us a message..."
The hand that was gripped around Kurt's waist went ever so unsubtly down to Kurt's ass and his fingers edged lower in between Kurt's legs.
"...and it's very rude not to carry out an order from the three sisters." He smirked at the panicked reaction he got from the other tourist's when they were caught looking. He loved how almost all of them swivelled away to feign intent interest at a random picture once Dave spotted them, only to glance back to the couple when Dave looked away. He ignored the tourists for a bit and concentrated fully on Kurt's body. He could feel Kurt's gulp and waited patiently for Kurt's admission as he continued to tease Kurt's body with his experienced hands.
Meanwhile, the little Mario-like David's in Dave's head were doing floor gymnastics with those really long ribbons floating around everywhere as he thought 'score! My 3-step seduction strategy is on fire! It may have failed the last time because of that stupid (but really fucking scary) mother of a eunuch housekeeper interrupted my plot, but now it's just you and me Kurt, and no one can resist my awesome powers!' He continued to rub his fingers against the area of denim that was clothing Kurt's balls and allowed his own groin to heat up with expectancy.
Kurt tilted his head up and kissed Dave's cheek sweetly "you never stop surprising me," Kurt whispered as he unclasped his moulded body from Dave and entwined their fingers together, "I'm still not going to have sex with you."
He continued in a louder, more playful voice "Not with all these Virgin Mary's watching. That's just," he shuddered, "creepy!"
He left David with a dumbfounded expression on his face and the map crumpled by his feet, as Kurt strutted into the adjoining room, casting one sly glance and wink back. "God damn it!" Dave grumbled as he scuffed his foot along the floor. 'I almost had him this time! What the hell use is being all sexy and knowledgeable if it can't get you laid! This round may go to you Hummel, but just you wait, you won't be able to resist me for long. Have you seen yourself lately: you're frikin' smoking! Heh heh. Let the challenge begin!'