Eventually I will get the hang of how all this works. Thank you for your patience. Still building relationships, but more action soon in the story. My own life is busy enough, thank you. I don't own any of the Marvel Universe (more's the pity). Melody, her family, and Dr. A. are mine.
The first lesson went pretty well, so I got things ready for the next set of lessons. I was seeing Barnes twice a week and Rogers once a week, as his schedule permitted. That whole saving the world on a regular basis thing. I was also working with my PTSD groups now. Interesting people. In one of them I had a Veteran. He told me, "That Gosh darned (expletive changed) VA was just wanting to give me drugs! I need help, not pills!" He got to stay.
I also had one smart ass kid (all college kids seem like kids to me these days) ask me how the group could help him and what were my credentials? I told him he could look up my credentials, but I had helped write the protocols the group was using. And like any group therapy, he'd get out of it what he was willing to put in. He showed up once more, but I think he realized that I wasn't going to put up with much nonsense.
My second session with Banes went well. I had a surprise for him. With Jarvis' help (it's amazing what right access can do to release information) I was able to find some of Barnes' school information. I had narrowed down the possible school teachers to his 3rd grade one. I started with an explanation of what a time line was. Then I taught him how to use the computer program. It's a pretty simple computer program that he can input info as he wants.
His eyes got wide as I projected the teacher's photo on the wall. "It's her!" he exclaimed. "My teacher!"
"Her name was Mrs. Cooper." I projected his class photo on the wall. "Those were your classmates that year."
Barnes stared intently at both photos. "I feel like I almost remember some of these people. Are there more photos?"
"I didn't have time to dig out any more than these two, but I will see what I can do. Do you want to know what happened to Mrs. Cooper?" He nodded, still intent on the photos. "She taught at your school for about 4 more years. By then, her husband had graduated college and took a job with a California aerospace firm, so they moved out there. They ended up having 3 kids, and as far as i can tell, she had a happy life, well loved by those who knew her."
Barnes smiled. The first I had sen from him. It really did transform his face. "I am glad."
"We'll work on your time line some more at the end of the lesson, but first, let's talk about, Explorers!" Barnes stayed connected with the lesson. I started with the Vikings, then moved on to look at the more traditional European explorers. We even talked about pirates and privateers. Barnes asked good questions.
I wasn't scheduled to work with Rogers until later on in the week, but he was off on a mission, so his class was going to have to be flexible. That turned out to be a pattern for us. I was able to fit him in after Barnes' next session on Thursday.
No one bothered to tell me, but Barnes had a bad night on Wednesday-nightmares and all. Rogers had been up most of the night helping his almost catatonic friend. "So what shape are they both in now?" I asked the air as I was setting up.
Jarvis, assuming I was asking him, informed me that Rogers, though tired, would be at his session. He was going to be escorting Barnes to see if his friend could handle it. I had been warned that Captain America was pretty overprotective of Barnes. Time to set some limits. "Jarvis" I loved that AI. "Is it possible that Captain Rogers can see what goes on in the classroom from the room outside?"
"Yes, Ma'am."
"Good. Set it up." And with that, I had a plan. Rogers brought Barnes in and helped him into a chair. I then motioned Rogers outside the room and explained that I wanted him to stay there, but I had arranged with Jarvis for viewing. If I needed help, I would ask for it. Rogers was very nervous about this, but finally agreed. Now granted, I had never dealt with a client with the destructive ability of Barnes before, but any Veteran in flashback or just coming out of it is dangerous. And that I had dealt with.
Barnes did not look good. He looked like a floppy rag doll sitting in that chair.
I welcomed Barnes to class. Nothing. His mind was not any where near the classroom. I tried again. Still nothing. Time for the heavier tactics. I projected the photo of Mrs. Cooper on the wall behind me. Then I got down to eye level with him, being careful to stay out of arm's reach.
Remember the voice your mom used that always stopped you in your tracks? I call it command voice. Good teachers know how to use it too. "James Barnes! I want you to look at me!" I was careful to use what I hoped was the same intonations Mrs. Cooper would have used.
I was rewarded with James looking straight at me. I knew I was looking at James, not the Winter Soldier. There was so much pain in those eyes. "James. Stay with me. What is causing this pain?"
Eventually he answered. I wasn't sure he was going to. His voice was raspy, like he had been screaming. "My dreams. I see the people I killed. So many. All the blood. And my handlers telling me I am no longer a man, a human. I'm just a tool for Hydra." His dead dropped back down.
"James!" He looked back up at me. "Those were nightmares. Some of it may be real. Some of it is not. Your handlers words are lies." I walked over and picked up a flash drive. "This is real. This is a copy of the school record of James Buchanan Barnes. You get to take this with you at the end of this session."
"But I can't make up for all the killing. All the pain I caused!" The depth of his guilt and grief was horrible.
"The fact that you are showing such remorse is proof enough to me that you are human. You need to remember that when those things happened, you were not in your right mind. Your actions were under the control of Hydra. The blame goes on them!" I was a little vehement about the last bit. "Dr. C. and I are here to help you work through all this. You need to talk to Dr. C. about your nightmares and flashbacks." I knew from our conferences that James was not fully trusting Dr. C. and the work was slow.
That was a long session. We never did get to the lesson. But by the end, Barnes was functioning better. He was exhausted, but at least his mind was staying in the room, not captured by nightmares and guilt. His homework from me, was to look at the information on the flash drive and to enter what he thought was important on his time line. Not what I might think was important, but what he wanted to remember. And yes, I did remember to turn off the image of Mrs. Cooper before we were done.
Steve had the good grace to not be in sight when Barnes left. I felt like I needed a good, stiff drink. Preferably rum. Instead I downed about half my water bottle and started entering my session notes. We had gone through several cycles where Barnes vented/cried/exploded out about his pain. Each time I had reminded him of who he really was and where he was headed-towards healing. He'd sink back down into himself, but each time it was a bit less. Exhausting for both of us. I really, really hoped that Barnes would be able to find himself.
When Captain Rogers came in I realized that he looked worse than I felt. "Steve, you look like hell. I bet you were up half the night with Barnes. And probably short of sleep from the mission. Right?" Since I was right he didn't have much to say. "And I'm going to have a psychic moment and guess you didn't get any of your homework done either."
That got me one of his charming, yet sheepish grins. "Melody... " That got him a sharp look from me, since I hadn't given him permission to call me that yet. "Ah, Ms. Bishop..." He seemed on the verge of trying to justify himself, but realized I wasn't having it. "You're right. I'm sorry." He paused. "Thank you for how you handled Bucky. That was pretty amazing. He was doing much better at the end."
"You're welcome Captain Rogers, Steve." That got me a real smile. "Since we're both tired and you didn't do your homework, let's work on that today. Then at the end I'll get you started on your own time line."
One of the things that teachers learn is that a lesson plan often gets hijacked in some way. Always be prepared. So I moved on to Lesson Plan B. We started off talking about baseball-something we both love, and eventually moved on to other sports. I did discover two important things (to me). One, was that neither Rogers nor Barnes had ever been to the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY. I promised Steve that, if possible, I would arrange for a field trip up there before I left New York. I must admit, I'd like a chance to visit up there again too. The other thing is that Rogers hasn't seen any of what I consider to be classic (but more modern) baseball movies. I gave him a list of my favorite 4 and told him to let me know if he couldn't access them.
Oh course, while we were talking about sports I made sure he learned about some of the other important changes-like integration. Some great stories, like when the University of Alabama head football coach lost to USC and its black players. By the next season, Alabama was integrated too-at least on the football field. There's segregation, but then there's college football!
Even though Rogers lives in the here and now, how he views the world is still guided by the prejudices he learned as a child. One of my goals is to make him aware of how the world has changed and enable him to change those prejudices, if he so desires. When we talk about the hippie/anti war days of the 60's and 70's will Rogers be liked my father and his friends, or not?
New homework was a flash drive with a good art history lesson. I realized that Rogers probably hadn't actually studied any of that, so it was time. I warned him that I would not be happy with him skipping this homework. And he would regret it if he hadn't done it by the time we got to the 60's. I think I'm looking forward to hearing his opinion of stuff like the LSD influenced concert posters.
Once we were done Jarvis spoke up and reminded Rogers that it was almost time for dinner. Dinner? Shoot, time for me to catch my subway home. I was startled when Jarvis informed me that Ms. Potts had invited me to join them. I made some lame excuse and headed out. It wasn't until I was halfway home that I realized that I had been invited to join Pepper Potts, and probably some of the other Avengers Tower people for dinner. Now I really felt dumb. And embarrassed. I would have to make an apology. And if I ever got invited again I should probably accept. My children were going to harass me about this.