THE ULTIMATE KEVEDD FANFICTION EXTRAVAGANZA PART 2: THE UNRELENTING

Sarah was inside of her Evangelion Unit 02, having just destroyed a whole army of Canadian Special Forces soldiers once she had regained her confidence. A flock of Kanker sister Evas came flying down. There were nine of them, three of may, three of marie and three of Lee. They were all armed with swords called heavy spears.

"I have three minutes and thirty seconds and there's nine of them, that means twenty seconds each with time to spare." Sarah said confidently. She rushed at a May Eva and jumped up into the air and busted it's skull, causing it to bleed high pressure blood. Unit 02 grabbed the Eva, lifted it up above her and split it in half. Blood spilt all over unit 02. Unit 02 rushed towards a Lee Eva and submerged it into a lake. Unit 02 pulled out it's prog knife and stabbed the Lee Eva in the head. Unit 02 got out of the water and was pounced on by a Marie Eva. Unit 02 used the prog knife to cut it's right arm off and snapped it's neck backwards. Unit 02 grabbed it's heavy spear and began to duel with a Lee Eva. Unit 02 landed a hit right in the shoulder and cleaved through the torso. Unit 02 sliced a May Eva in half and it was sent spiraling in the air. Unit 02 sliced off the leg of a Marie Eva and it fell down. A May Eva came tackling Unit 02. Unit 02 shot the May Eva using spikes in it's shoulder pylons. To finish the job, Unit 02 punched through the stomach of a Marie Eva and slammed it into the last Lee Eva and punched it right through the chest.

Suddenly, a heavy spear came hurling towards Unit 02. Sarah used her AT field but the heavy spear turned into the Lance of Longinus.

"What the..." Sarah said in shock. The lance of Longinus impaled Unit 02 through the eye and the Eva fell to the ground.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Sarah yelled. She felt the pain that the Eva did and her eye began to bleed profusely. The Kanker sister Evas got up after being supposedly dead. The wings of the Kanker Evas came out of their backs and they headed towards the incapacitated Unit 02. The Kanker Evas began to go vulture like and ate the armor and the organs of the Evangelion. The Kanker Evas were done with Unit 02 and flew away with it's innards in their mouths. Sarah screamed in pain and agony. She started to get back up.

"I'll kill you, I'll kill you, I'll kill you." Sarah repeated as she lifted up her arm. Unit 02's arm began to move and the entire unit began to get up. She was cut short when she was stabbed and her arm was split in half by another lance of Lances began to rain down and annihilated the Unit and Sarah along with it.

Jimmy was lying on the ground as his Evangelion was trapped in bakelite, a material that was hardened around the Unit.

"Come on mother! I need to save Sarah!" Jimmy yelled. The bakelite around the unit broke off and the unit activated. He entered the entry plug and headed to the battlefield.

Meanwhile, after Edd was shot by Kevin, Kevin was ready to start third impact. He pulled off his gloves, revealing an embryo engraved onto his hand.

"Nazz, It is the time we become one." Kevin said. He inserted his hand into Nazz's stomach but she rejected.

"Sorry Kevin." Nazz said while pulling Kevin's hand out of her stomach. His entire hand was gone and he screamed and writhed in pain. She began to hover and she fused with the crucified Ed. Ed began to get bigger and fell off of the crucifix and landed in the pool of gravy. Ed lost his clothes and grew female anatomy. His face morphed into Nazz's face and increased in size.

Jonny and Plank were crashing at Ed's place because his parents were on a business trip and he didn't want to be at home by himself. The two were watching the End of Evangelion. Specifically where Rei fuses with Lillith and rejects Gendo. The Giant Nazz emerged from the basement. Jonny thought that this was part of the movie because of the giant nazz looking similar to GNR.

"Holy toledo Plank! Those mushrooms have really gone into effect!" Jonny yelled

Jimmy was in the air with Unit 01, the wings of light protruding from the Eva's back. He saw the Kanker Eva's carrying the remains of Unit 02. Jimmy was traumatized by the scene.

"Sarah no. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!." Jimmy screamed. The binders on the Eva began to break off and the core was exposed. The real lance of Longinus flew off of the moon and stopped at Unit 01's neck. Unit 01 was crucified by the Kanker Evas and they opened up their super solenoid engines. The giant Nazz came into the sky and began to hold the crucified Eva. Jimmy was scared out of his mind

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Jimmy began to scream his throat out as the Kanker Evas faces morphed into Nazz's face while forming the tree of life. Jimmy was on the verge of throwing up, his sanity slipping rapidly and his brain waves becoming scrambled.

"I can't take it anymore I can't take it anymore I can't take it anymore!" Jimmy repeated. He panicked until his beloved Mr Yum Yum emerged from the giant Nazz/Ed hybrid, being still in Ed's digestive system during the time. He held the crucified Unit 01. Jimmy had tears of joy in his face. Mr Yum Yum began to turn Unit 01 into the tree of life.

Meanwhile, Kevin was left for dead in Ed's room, his plan failed. He began to cry.

"Why did you have to betray me Nazz? Why?" Kevin asked in pain

"Maybe because she wasn't your pawn or doll if you would. She actually had a heart, unlike you. I can't believe that I actually loved you." Edd said seemingly surviving the gunshot. His body was severely burned by the Gravy. He got up and grabbed Kevin's gun.

"Kevin, you were in over your head, say goodbye." Edd said. He shot Kevin in the throat and killed him. Edd laughed slightly as he killed Kevin. He collapsed to the ground and died. His body dissolved into gravy.

Jonny and Plank were still watching the end of evangelion on DVD. A bunch of Nazz clones appeared before them. Jonny shrieked in fear and hid under the dining room table. Plank just stood there and was turned into gravy. The Nazz clones found Jonny and hugged him, turning him into gravy.

Jimmy was inside Eva unit 01, apparently trapped as the tree of life. Nazz was initiating Third Impact, that was until Ed burst out of the giant Nazz's eye armed with a grenade launcher that shot grenades as strong as nukes. He threw out his grenade launcher and armed his Twin Beam Cannon as seen in Gundam. He shot at the Giant Nazz and killed her. The tree of life began to fall apart and the entry plug fell from the sky. Ed fell from the sky and back into Peach Creek. He grew a pair of wings and shot at the Kanker's trailer. Lee pulled out a megaphone.

"Big Ed! Do not blow up our trailer!" Lee yelled.

"Roger that." Ed said. He shot his beam cannon a second time and blew up the entire trailer park.

"Mission Accomplished." Ed said before falling down.

Ed woke up washed up on the beach and saw the entry plug that Jimmy was in. He got up from the sand and broke open the entry plug. He saw Jimmy, bleeding and unconscious.

"Jimmy wake up." Ed said

"We are we?" Jimmy asked

"This is the new world, all because Kevin couldn't let it go." Ed said. Jimmy looked around, seeing the sea of gravy and the petrified Kanker Evas.

"Let's go to find shelter Ed." Jimmy told Ed

"Okay" Ed said. The two found what was left of the cul de sac. Jimmy's house was still intact. Jimmy dug in his pocket and found the key to the house. Jimmy opened the door and walked in with Ed. The two flipped out on the couch. Jimmy picked up the remote to the TV and turned it on. Jimmy flipped to the news.

"Breaking News! A mass slaying occurred in Peach Creek, Vancouver. The incident allegedly happened because a gay couple being made fun of and a planned attempt to initiate instrumentality. One of the boys, Kevin Dorn, supposedly tried to beat up his partner's best friends, resulting in a breakup and two broken hearts. Later that night, Eddy McGee and Eddward Jackson were killed inside of Edward Jones house by Dorn. Jonny 2x4 and his friend plank also inside of Jones' house were apparently dissolved into gravy. Further investigations have shown that a large tub of gravy was located into the basement of the Jones resident. Another person in the Jones' house that night, Nazz Van Bartonschmeer, captain of the Peach Creek cheer squad, has gone missing. A trio of trailer trash sisters, May, Marie and Lee Kanker have allegedly part of Dorn's plan, as giant statues of the three, apparently crucified in the peach creek swim hole, were found. The statues were originally Mass Produced Evangelion clones cloned from the DNA of the kanker sisters. Sarah Jones allegedly fought the clones using Evangelion Unit 02 but was tragically murdered and consumed by the clones. These murders have caused more than 100 million dollars in damage. More information will be released tonight on Peach Creek news at 10.

"Damn." Ed said

"Damn is right." Jimmy replied.

"Imma go get tore up." Ed said as he headed out the door and to his 1964 Chevrolet Impala.

THE END?