They all speak the language of love, but that's not the only reason it has it's own language. Camp Half Blood speaks Grenglish, a hybrid language of Ancient Greek and English. But the cabin of love takes the tower of Babel to a whole other level. And it might as well reach Olympus because Zeus'll be damned if any of the gods understand.
"Hey Piper, hon, are you really getting ready for your date with Jason? I think he's a little busy sucking face with Sophie behind the Apollo cabin."
(I saw Sophie pull Jason behind the Apollo cabin and she was flirting with him and I don't know how to break my facade to tell you.)
"Thanks, Drew, but Jason would never cheat on me. He loves me."
(I'm having my doubts, too. But I'm going to stay strong because Jason, probably, maybe, isn't the type to cheat.)
"Gods, Jackie, did Mr. D make you loco? Never go out without concealer."
(I'm so jealous your skin is so clear and smooth, like a baby's. Putting you down makes me feel better and maybe it'll get you to ruin your skin, too, with this oily Drakon snot.)
"I lost my cosmetics bag. Can I borrow yours, Drew?"
(Yesterday Mitchell said I should go for the all natural look because I'd caked my face and totally baked in the heat all day. But you're right Drew, it's better to be plastic but look fantastic. I don't feel so fantastic.)
"No! If you touch my stuff, I'll make sure you personally cut off your own boobs and put them down in Tartarus." As an afterthought, "I'm sure Dumpster queen's bestie wouldn't mind if you borrowed hers."
(Please don't touch that stuff because I have naked pictures of myself in there that would rank me about as high as goldfish on the food chain. Take Lacy's because the Stolls put blue dye in it and I'd love for that to clog your perfect pores.)
"Stop biting your nails, Annabeth. Percy will be at the Roman camp."
(Don't worry, Annabeth. Percy will come back. His memory will be wiped, and he might be stringing along another girl on his arm. Just like I'm the other girl for Jason's girlfriend, Reyna, right? And who knows, Percy might leave her for you as his memory returns, but it'll probably be the other way around, because we gotta listen to Johnny Depp. If you love two people, choose the second, because if you truly loved the first wouldn't fall for the second one. But it doesn't work like that for Aphrodite girls. we ruin relationships, and we don't deserve to be happy.)
"Thanks, Piper." (Thanks, Piper.)
"Drew, are you going to do anything but stare at that mirror all day?"
"No."
(Who could've known one word, two letters, could have so much meaning? No, Ariana, I will not do anything else today. No, Drew, you're not pretty. No, Drew, you're wrong. 'No, Drew, you're not real. Piper's real. That's why I'm with her.' What you didn't say, Jason, is that's why I'm not with you. No, dear Jason, Piper isn't real. Piper's like the rest of us. She's a daughter of the love goddess with a score to settle, but she's insecure to the core, like the rest of us. Like Leo, too. I need to be wanted, so, no, I'm not real. I force people to want me and they still don't. Why don't people want me? Why aren't I beautiful?)
"You look nice, Carrie."
(You're absolutely breathtaking. I'm jealous of the guy you're going to the fireworks with. I'm tired of being only mega best friends because we have the same mom. The gods don't even have DNA so why should it matter?)
"Thanks, Riley."
(Thanks for lying to me. Another failed attempt at getting him to notice me.)
"You know Mark? Son of Ares, tall, built? He likes me!"
(I wish.)
"Good, now you can do your Rite of Passage."
(Why don't you complete a ritual the rest of us find completely pointless and only insist upon because we don't want to be the only ones who got our hearts broken by this? There's a reason we don't tell you it's a curse. If you complete the Rite of Passage you never find love unless they are your soulmate. It hurts you more than it could ever hurt Markie-poo.)
"You mean… play him?"
(As if I could play him. I'm pretty sure he has the hots for Annabeth's half sister, Alison Tobin.)
"That's all the rest of us do anyway."
(I feel so guilty. Their stares- every time I go outside, they're judging me. What would Mother say- a daughter of Aphrodite who does not wish to be looked at? What's wrong with me? Why did I break his heart?)
"Mitchell, boys can't like pink. Are you gay or a cross dresser? Do you want to be a girl, poor thing?"
(I know that rose colored shirt is for your girlfriend, but my ex turned gay so I'm taking it out on you.)
"I know a great plastic surgeon. He does breast implants."
(Real men wear pink.)
"Shut up," he spits angrily.
(Is that where you got your breasts, Ariana? I knew it couldn't be natural to have DDs and weigh 100 lbs.)