Harley shivered. More from nerves than temperature. I think I forgot deodorant this morning. She swallowed. And breakfast.
Shifting in her chair she fingered the panic button in her front lab coat pocket. Joan told her not to hesitate to push the button.
"Even if you just think he is going to hurt you; push it." she said.
Harley began lamenting her recent boycott of local news. A marathon of TV classics such as Golden Girls, Cheers, & MASH had seemed like a perfectly acceptable way to spend the summer. Until she was told she would have to give an intake survey to the most dangerous man in Gotham's history. A man who was very vocal, or completely non-vocal about his dislike of these questions.
She was just about to pray to Bea Arthur for courage when the door swung open. A hunched figure with lank hair was pushed through the door by a broad shoulder security guard. His large brown eyes and deep olive skin reminded her of her college boyfriend. I wonder if he has a girlfriend..or a boyfriend..I hope he likes me.
Gorgeous opened his beautiful full lips and said something with a rich sexy voice. When Harley responded with nothing more than a dreamy smile, he repeated himself.
"...anything at all. I'll be right outside. Dr. Quinzel?"
"Yes of course. Thank you. I'll be fine in here now. How are you?"
Devilishly handsome quirked his elegant eyebrow, "I'm...okay. I'll leave you to it."
It took a moment for Harley to compose herself and summon the willpower to move her eyes from the door to the patient. The patient who was scowling at her. Harley cleared her throat and began the well practiced introduction she had formulated her sophomore year.
"Hello, I-
"This is my time" His voice was high pitched and deliberate. It commanded attention. "Flirt with doe-eyed beef cakes on your own time," a pink tongue snaked across his lips, "when you are with me I want your full attention, got it?" His last 't' lingered in her ears.
Harley nodded dumbly and licked her own lips. Joan had told her he hadn't said much of anything to anyone. Maybe this was progress.
"My name is Doctor Harleen Quinzel. I'll be giving you an intake interview. The same interview we've been trying to give you for a week actually. " She tried giving him a small smile to hide the quake in her voice and show him she was on his side. He wasn't buying it.
She took a moment to review the questions in her lap. His eyes were intense. She could feel them drilling holes into the top of her head. Just ask the questions and write down the answers as he gives them. Thats it. You can do this. She lifted her gaze to his and cleared her throat.
"Name?"
The man across from her pursed his lips for a moment before answering, "Joseph."
Her eyes lit up. A name! He gave a name! "And your last name, Joseph?"
She could swear she saw his eyes twinkle at that. "Kerr."
Her heart felt as though it might beat straight out of her chest. This was too good to be true! Too good to be true. Her heart fell a little. She looked down at the name she had just written. Joseph Kerr. Joe Kerr. Jo ker. Some progress. What is wrong with you Harley? Why are you falling for this shit? When she did dare to peek up at him he looked as though he was about to break into a fit of giggles. Not even the great and powerful Joan was able to command this beast. He'll never bow to our demands. But he might just be arrogant enough to over explain to his minion. Brilliant, Harl.
Bringing her head all the way up, she gave him her most winning smile. "Good, we're making progress. May I call you Joe?"
And then the dam broke and he nearly choked on his own laughter.
o0o
The rest of the interview progressed much the same way. It was sort of poetic in a way. Joan told her to simply write down each of his answers and that is what she did. She did it with a warm smile and a knowing nod. She sat in rapt attention while he told her what could only be a blatant lie about his scars. With each new question he become more exuberant in telling the answer. The more she appeared to buy into his stories, the more friendly he became. When she reached the end of the questionnaire, she had five pages of his answers.
"Well Mr. Kerr, that's all the questions I have for you. Thank you so much for being so cooperative."
He seemed almost disappointed. "When will I see you again, Doctor?"
Harley matched his mood, "I'm sorry but you won't." His faced darkened. "I'm just the doctor giving your intake. Another doctor will be treating you." She gave him a shrug that said if it were up to me it would be different.
He sniffed and spoke loudly to those he thought were listening, " The ole' bait'n'switch huh? Well the joke's on you! I'm not talking to any other doctors." His threat degraded into mad laughter. His entire being was thrown into that laugh and he looked pure. He doesn't look pure! He's a homicidal maniac!
The soon to be Mr. Dr. Quinzel came in to collect the demented clown. "Come on. Back to your cell."
His laughter echoed down the hall and filled her ears. She had survived. She had tricked him. Now how would she convince Joan to let her treat him.