I don't want to.

The sun peers through my apartment window.

No.

It shines across my face and onto my pillow beside me.

Dammit.

I glance at my watch and see that it's 6:02. I have to be to work in less than an hour. I have no desire to wake up. None. I roll over to the other side of the bed. I realize I really need to wash these sheets. I hope that's the biggest of my worries today.

That and getting out of this damned bed.

I flip the sheets off myself and put my feet on the floor. I glance at my nemesis for the morning-the sunlight that woke me up.

If you can't beat them, join them.

I sluggishly walk over to the window and open the blinds to let the light in. It's bright and hurts my eyes. But I will say it wakes me up. I turn around to go to the closet and slip on my black tee shirt and grey sweatpants. No matter how many times I wear these things, I always am reminded of my past.

Gray for Abnegation; Black for Dauntless.

I won't lie to myself: these are the factions where I received these clothes. I sometimes miss being a part of Dauntless; I miss the faction system sometimes. It was nice to know where I belonged but I do prefer a life without them. You can just mingle with others without anyone getting uppity about the whole thing.

I cross through my living room and kitchen and slip out my front door as quietly as I can. My neighbors, to all sides of my doors, are sleeping right now. I do assume that, anyway. No one has ever come out. I open the emergency staircase doors and start to ascend.

One floor... Two floors... Eighth floor... and ROOF.

I come up here every morning, even though I have a severe fear of heights, I find this routine relaxing and grounding for myself and my mind. It's almost meditative. There are several punching bags available and a weapon sits on an old patio table. It was something my neighbor gave me, called a crossbow. It has a bow with a mechanism for holding and releasing arrows. It fires with a trigger. It's old, but not really rare, as far as I know. I like the feel of it in my hand.

I start off with my normal routine. Fifty jumping jacks. One hundred push-ups. Fifty crunches. Every time, this is my warm-up. I decide today I will do fight sequences. Surrounding myself in the middle of some of the old bags, I take up a fight stance. I go back. Go back to my Dauntless times. Back to being Four. This is one of those times I really enjoyed being Four. I feel strong and unstoppable.

PUNCH.. 2...3..

UPPERCUT... 2..3...

KICK.. PUNCH...

Varieties of combinations just flow out of me, like a second nature. I envision enemies. No one in particular, just blank faced people I pretend want to challenge me. Before I realize, it's already 6:40. I need to be showered and out of here quickly. It takes some time to get to work, but I know how to skip some steps for a quicker commute.

I run back downstairs and slip back in my door. I strip off my clothes and turn on the water in the shower. I hop in quickly-too quickly- the water hasn't warmed up yet. But I don't have time to worry about it. I scrub up quickly and rinse even quicker. The water is off in a matter of minutes as I take my towel and start to dry off. I brush my teeth and look at myself in the mirror. I look tired. I finish up as quick as I can and get dressed for work. Luckily, I don't think Johanna has anything important planned this morning, but you never know what she may of set up after I left.

One more glance of my watch, and it's out the door I go.