Chapter one: Jounin Stalking
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Note: Fishing with Katon takes place the Saturday after Day in the Life. Iruka's section of this chapter begins the following Monday, Shino and Pakkun's would be the Wednesday of the next week.
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Sasuke, Whining.
Iruka-sensei is not impressed. He is hard to impress with combat moves with no other utility, and that seems to be all Hyuuga and I have to show him these days. To hear him tell it, Kakashi-sensei and Gai-sensei are two of the biggest fools in Konoha, to never properly train the eyes at their disposal. We argue (in our own, monosyllabic way) that using out superior eyesight in combat is a perfectly valid use, to little avail. Iruka-sensei is unmoved by Chidori and Kaiten.
Iruka-sensei is biased. Iruka-sensei is not a famous combat ninja. Iruka-sensei is a semi-retired spy turned counter-intelligence agent, teacher, and redeemer of Lost Causes. Iruka-sensei is a prankster. But most importantly, Iruka-sensei is horribly, terrifyingly patient. Hyuuga and I know this because he has used 'the eyes at his disposal' to plan diabolical pranks on those he felt had wronged him, and amusing pranks on those he considered too uptight.
I remember very clearly the Carbon Copy Ninja prank. Hatake Kakashi, infamous Copy Ninja and elite Jounin, had somehow provoked Iruka-sensei into declaring war. The crime was not specified to Hyuuga or I, though Genma-the-freeloader made some typically obscure comments about Kakashi calling Iruka his 'copy'.
Iruka-sensei went to work slowly, placing his pieces with great care and malicious forethought. He laid out the initial steps of his plan during dinner after the famous fishing trip, enlisting the help of Hyuuga and I with the blithe assumption that we'd be willing. Of course, we never objected, and can't complain.
"Step one," Iruka-sensei began, "is to...
Evaluate target for weaknesses.
Problem: Stalking Jounin is a notoriously dangerous pastime, even for ex-spies. Also, Iruka-sensei is a very busy man, with little time to spare stalking lazy Copy Ninjas.
Solution: ...
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To Ask Permission: Iruka
The initial discussion with Sandaime-sama went something like this...
"And so, to counteract this tendency to over-focus on flashy combat jutsu, I'd like to assign this as an exercise in both observation and stealth."
"You want to send Ninja Cadets to stalk Jounin and Chuunin as a class exercise."
"Yes."
"Because one of your students used a explosion jutsu to blow up a lake?" The pipe was tamped with great deliberation, an obvious attempt by our great Hokage to prevent himself from repeating the loud belly laugh he'd issued when I'd brought up the exploding lake incident.
"Because many of my students think that they can fight their way out of any situation."
"And this will teach them otherwise?"
"It will emphasize that combat is not the primary purpose of ninja." I knew that I sounded defensive, but could not seem to mask that feeling.
"Ah, I see. You wish to corrupt the youth." Sandaime's smile was idyllic, his eyes narrowing to upturned V's in his mirth.
"Since when is advocating a violence-optional approach to missions considering corrupting the youth?!" I felt the familiar anger bubbling up in my mind, even as another part of me knew that Sandaime was just teasing. "Fighting! Combat power! It's all half this village cares about! Being a good ninja is not always about who's the fastest or the toughest! Sometimes it's about hiding and stalking and knowing more about your opponent than they know about you!" I noticed the Hokage trying to say something, but I was too wound-up to stop until I was done. "I want my students to survive their missions! I don't want them thinking they're invincible! So I'll assign them to stalk Jounin, who will show them that all the showy combat moves don't matter much when your target is that skilled. I want them to be noticed and have to run away to not get caught."
"Isn't that something better taught by their Jounin-sensei?"
"Only by some of them. I've heard rumors of who might be getting these teams." I glowered slightly at my boss, a prerogative that I barely noticed anymore. "Call me over-protective, but my students usually survive."
"Agreed." a nod, then, "In that tradition, you will make sure to pick Jounin that won't kill your students, yes? Some of them have been nervous lately."
"I promise to only pick Shinobi who are capable of understanding that Cadets on a training exercise are not to be killed by overactive stabbity reflexes. I might have to dip into the upper ranks of the Chuunin or retirees to do it, but I'm sure I can find them if I turn over enough rocks."
"Are you sure this has nothing to do with that VA-1 from a few days ago?"
"I never said it did or that it didn't." I returned the smile I'd been getting, my mood lightening with the thought. "I am looking forward to oh-so-sweetly telling Kakashi that he'll be stalked by my best student, though."
"I guess I'll have to call a formal meeting if I want to see that, won't I?" Sarutobi flipped open his schedule book, obviously looking for a good time to gather together the ninja on my still-forming list.
"Yes, though I'll tell you now, I have a very special student in mind to stalk you."
"Oh?"
"I hope you like Orange."(1)
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A Special Assignment, Origins of a Team: Shino
Shino frowned. He was suddenly aware of the prickling of his senses that indicated he was under observation, yet his allies had not warned him of anyone except his target in the area. Unless... He turned towards the nearby trees, "Hinata-san?"
A few moments later the short-haired girl emerged from the woods, a small group of kikai bugs resting peacefully in the hollow of her upturned palms, feeding on the altered chakra she was emitting for them. "S-Sorry Shino-san, I didn't want to bother you."
"If you will explain how you have suborned my allies, I will be much less bothered." Shino said as the erring kikai returned lazily to his person.
"Um.. That is.." She looked down at her now empty hands, tapping her fingers together gently as was her wont. "I used the sleep genjutsu we learned last month. Err.. a variation of it."
"Explain." Shino's clipped words discouraged argument without crossing the line into sounding demanding or threatening. Hinata explained quickly, and soon Shino understood how she had altered her chakra to disrupt the kikai's when they absorbed it. His allies needed to learn to resist the urge to feed on chakra unless commanded, he decided. But that was not his primary concern today. "What are you doing here?"
"Watching Neji-Oniisan. Izumo-san asked me to watch him today."
Shino considered this news in light of his own assignment. Iruka-sensei announced a new test for his class eight days ago. To improve and test their stealth and observation skills, they will each be assigned to observe a senior shinobi of the village and report all they can find out. They will be performing the assignment in phases, at the rate of six cadets per week it will take five weeks for all the students in the level to complete the task.
Iruka-sensei asked that Shino remain after class was over, and related to him that his version of this assignment would be different from his classmates'. Shino's task was not to observe a single Jounin, but "to determine by whatever means necessary which shinobi each of his classmates had been assigned to observe." Iruka-sensei provided a written set of orders along with the order that his fellows would be given the task.
Thus far Shino's task has not proved exceptionally difficult, as of the initial group of cadets, only Hyuuga Hinata was able to elude his Kikai patrols. Direct observation allowed him to discover that her target was one Izumo Kamizuki, a surprisingly elusive friend of Iruka-sensei that is heavily addicted to coffee. Unfortunately, directly observing Hinata-san led to Izumo-san capturing both of them through the agency of his room-mate, Kotetsu Hagane, and an animated rope(2). Hinata-san was terribly embarrassed and was certain that she had failed. Shino was not pleased, either. However, Kamizuki said that he would forgive this slip if Hinata and Shino would stalk someone else of his choice sometime during the next week. Shino had not expected that target to be Neji Hyuuga.
"Your cousin came this way as well?"
"Yes."
"I shall not interfere with your task, as I know you will do my the same courtesy."
Hinata smiled and bowed very slightly. "Of course, Shino-san..."
She started to walk away, but Shino realized that her eyes would be a great asset if both his target and hers were in the next training field. A few moments later a returning kikai scout confirmed that this was the case. "My orders do not preclude teamwork and my allies have located both our targets." He said, "Your skills in camouflage and knowledge of your cousin's abilities would be useful. Will you accompany me?"
She looked surprised at his words, but quickly she nodded, "Yes."
They skirted the practice field where their targets had met, selecting a tree sufficiently far away to avoid easy detection and tall enough to give us an excellent over-view of the pair. Hinata motioned that they should remain close to the tree's trunk to disguise their chakra as much as possible, and Shino used his kikai to create a convincing 'bee hive' to explain any movement that might catch their targets' eyes. They decided on this plan with a minimum of unnecessary talk, which pleased Shino greatly and did not discomfit Hinata either. She did say that she thought perhaps Neji had planned to spar with Sasuke. That seemed a logical conclusion to the Kikai user. In Shino's observations of him, Uchiha Sasuke did very little that was not training in one form or another.
What the pair saw when they reached their viewing platform was not a sparring match as they expected, but obviously a planning session. The two dark-haired prodigies huddled over a map of the village that was spread out atop a picnic table on the edge of the training ground, making marks on it with several shades of pencil. Shino was mildly surprised to see the last Uchiha interacting so energetically with Neji, of all people. Though they could not hear the conversation, the pair argued with evident emotion before drawing some sort of compromise.
"They've marked several places on the map with days and times." Hinata said softly, the veins around her white eyes moving slightly as she spoke, "A book-store, an apartment building, and maybe a few of the training fields. I think they were arguing about marking a restaurant more than once. They put a question mark by the second date."
"My allies see the Hokage's tower and the memorial stone as well." Shino was making notes on the scroll he'd devoted to his assignment, though he was unsure of their relevance. "I did not know that your cousin and the Uchiha were friends."
Hinata shifted uneasily from one foot to the other, "I've seen them both with Iruka-sensei a few times. But Neji-Oniisan wouldn't help Sasuke cheat, so it must be ok?"
"Iruka-sensei did not mention your cousin to me, but Sasuke started his task on an unusual timetable. It is possible that he was also given a customized set of mission orders."
"He is at the head of our class." Hinata whispered softly.
"Though not by as much as in previous years." Shino agreed. A long moment of silence followed as he collected and ordered his thoughts. Hinata reported the marking of a green-grocer and a laundry facility, which he noted diligently before continuing his reasoning, "I have observed that Sasuke and Iruka-sensei have a greater relationship which causes our teacher to hold him to a higher standard. It would be consistent with past events for Sasuke's task to be more difficult than typical, perhaps requiring your cousin's help. As you know, this task was not present on the basic syllabus that was distributed at the beginning of the term. I have reason to believe that Iruka-sensei has other motives for causing many of the village's shinobi to be under observation at once, perhaps to disguise his interest in the actions of a particular individual or group within the pool of subjects. Our encounter with Izumo-san and Kotetsu-san confirms this, as they were also very curious about which shinobi had been selected as targets."
Hinata turned to look at him about halfway though his monologue. Though she did not need to turn to see him, it was rude amoungt outsiders not to. It was, she realized, one of the longest speeches she'd heard the other boy make outside of an oral report for class. She looked away again, not wanting to call attention to it. "Then.. maybe.. Iruka-sensei assigned Sasuke-san and Neji-niisan to watch whoever he's really interested in?"
"Logic suggests that. That Izumo-san asked you to follow your cousin indicates that he thinks that it is true also."
"Who is it?" she wondered aloud.
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The Freak Parade: Pakkun
Normally the leader of Kakashi's nin-dogs, Pakkun by name, would not have bothered attending a mundane taijutsu challenge match between his master and the Broccoli Beast Gai(3). However, his master had been of a paranoid turn of mind for the last few days and had summoned him to keep his nose open.
Unsurprisingly, it had not taken the nin-dog long to discover the general identity of Kakashi's two persistent stalkers: the Uchiha and the young Hyuuga that trained under the Broccoli Beast, occasionally joined by a third unidentified scent that put Pakkun in the mind of chalk and musty scrolls, probably one of the teachers. Which was all the clue Pakkun needed; he'd heard about the cadets' jounin stalking assignments from Aubiz, one of the Hokage tower message hawks and king of the Summon and Companion gossip vine. Wanna-be ninja who had yet to earn a forehead protector fell into the category of things Pakkun was willing to let his master work out for himself, especially since Aubiz said the teacher had informed Kakashi about it personally (4).
Today was looking to be more interesting than normal; both the Uchiha and the Hyuuga were in attendance, and Pakkun scented Aburame kikai somewhere nearby. The Hyuuga he noticed first, well hidden but upwind. It is a common failing of Hyuuga to think only in terms of sight, and to assume that no one could see them when they hid. Pakkun noticed the Hyuuga making scout signals to someone to Pakkun's right. The Uchiha had taken the wind into account, and had used something to confuse his scent, forcing Pakkun to locate him by calculating lines of sight from the Hyuuga's position.
Pakkun was about to climb up to talk to the Uchiha when he caught a female scent and was put back on his guard. Young female Hyuuga his nose told him, with young male Aburame. That would explain the Kikai. He moved several yards to triangulate the new pair's position, but the Uchiha beat him to it. Pakkun moved quickly enough to overhear most of the their whispered conversation.
"Sensei didn't say anything about this."
"Nor did he mention Neji Hyuuga, but he is obviously working with you, Sasuke-san." the Aburame answered smoothly.
"It was approved."
"Then be aware that our task is similarly approved and do not let our presence distract you."
"You're interrupting my valuable lesson in humility." the Uchiha said with a straight face, but his voice had an odd tone to Pakkun's ears.
The Hyuuga girl's face turned from embarrassed to startled, "Humility?" she squeaked.
"The dog keeps finding us." Sasuke explained testily, "My goal is to elude it for a whole day. So far, no luck."
The Aburame looked as thoughtful as one of his clan could, "Perhaps your approach could be improved, What..."
Pakkun decided that Kakashi was in no danger from this group and moved off. He wanted to try sneaking up on the Hyuuga again. The first time he'd succeeded and startled the obnoxious brat into angry challenges was well worth an encore performance.
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(1) Just how did Naruto know how to get into the Hokage's house, anyway?
(2) Which of course had no relation at all to the one encountered by Raidou and Hayate a few weeks prior. Nor did Shino and Hinata end up snared by it. They did not take a vow to never reveal the incident to any of their peers onto pain of Pain. Really!
(3) Tomodachi once compared Gai to a broccoli stalk; long and green with a funny looking top, velveeta orange leg-warmers, and a tough bunchiness that looks strange no matter is done with it. Bull added that Gai would make an excellent low-fat high-fiber snack; good for you but horrible tasting. All the nin-dogs agreed that it was a good description, thus began Broccoli Beast Gai, the Anti-treat.
(4) the downside to being too hip to pay attention at meetings, one would guess.
Yes I know it took forever. Yes I know that the revenge has yet to begin. I can say 'Sorry', I guess, if You want. I like to call this a combination of writers block ( I could not figure out a way to end it) and a desire to make the title relevant by modifying the outline a bit. Including Shino, Hinata, and Izumo allow me to do that much more easily. Thank you for reading!