"Arthur, a Merman has kidnapped the Princess Jacquelyn and imprisoned her in a cave underneath the Lake."
Uther sat imperiously on his Throne, the messenger from King Fendrel cap in hand and kneeling in front of him.
"Then I will ride out immediately and rescue the maid."
At that statement, Uther noticed Arthur's loyal manservant began squirming. He seemed to want to say something. And probably would, Uther thought. The boy had no notion of the respect due his betters, a fact Uther had been thankful for more than once. Still, no need to encourage him either.
"Very good, Arthur. King Fendrel will no doubt be grateful. Take whichever Knights you need."
"I don't think that's necessary, Father." He scoffed slightly and Uther noticed Merlin was just about ready to burst at the statement, "I think I can handle one man holding a girl prisoner. I'll go alone. Merlin, prepare for us to ride out before lunch."
"Sire... Your Highness," said Merlin, finally finding a space in the conversation to ask some pertinent questions and so ignoring Arthur's implication that he was nobody, "do we know what this Merman is? Do we know why it took Jacquelyn? What does it want?"
"Ah, to marry her," said the messenger when he saw Uther looking at him expectantly, "it came up out of the ocean and declared that it was enamoured of her. When King Fendrel refused his request to marry her, he took her by force."
"And how did it do that?" asked Merlin, "surely Fendrel's only daughter would have been protected?"
"M... magic," stuttered the messenger. It was a brave man who used the 'm' word in Uther's court but he felt he now had no choice, "the Mers are a race of magical beings that live beneath the sea."
"You failed to mention that," noted Uther in the ironic way he had that was nonetheless surprisingly terrifying.
"They are part man, part fish but they can enchant the eye to see a human. This Mer took the form of Jacquelyn's admirer, Lord Elderberry. They had left the Castle grounds before anyone was suspicious. I swear, My Lord, an ability to breathe underwater and to change their appearance are their only magical gifts."
"And why did it take the girl to a lake in Camelot instead of back to the sea near Fendrel's castle?" continued Merlin.
The messenger glared at him, now. Honestly, who did the boy think he was?
"Ah... ummm... ah, I..."
"Answer the question," growled Uther.
"Fendrel has boats and he knows where the Mers' live. And the other Mers wouldn't approve of him kidnapping somebody and... also... the, the cave under the Lake is enchanted."
Arthur rolled his eyes and Uther shook his head.
"So, not a single man holding a girl prisoner but a magical being using magic to hold her prisoner under an enchanted lake?"
"Yes, Your Highness."
"Very well, we have agreed to help and we will but express to Fendrel my displeasure at him leaving these pertinent facts out of his original request. Arthur, I think guile is better than brute force in this instance. Ride out alone if you must but be careful. Merlin, take care of him."
"Of course, Your Highness," he replied respectfully, ignoring the 'alone' comment yet again.
"In hindsight, maybe riding out without the Knights was not the best plan," reflected Merlin as he sat imprisoned in the Merman's cave with his arm around a scared but calm Princess, "and me arguing that I should do a reconnaissance because I was a better swimmer also possibly not the best idea."
The cave was a damp and eerie blue with a magic wall of water flowing over the entrance that protected it but did not flood it. He sat on the cold stone, a chain around his leg securing him to the wall but giving him quite a bit of freedom of movement. He tried to comfort Jacquelyn who seemed highly intelligent, if slightly cosseted.
"Don't worry, Arthur will be here soon. He'll rescue us and we'll be fine."
He smiled at her reassuring and she smiled back slightly.
"Yep, gonna be rescued. Any minute now. Arthur's gonna burst into the cave and slay the Merman and we'll be free. Very very soon."
"Very soon."
"So," he turned to her, trying to change the subject from the imminent rescue that was less imminent then he would have liked, "the Merman wants to marry you?"
"Yes, but apparently the Mers can't force people to marry. I think he hopes that if I'm imprisoned here long enough I'll agree to marry him."
"Oh, is that likely?"
"He shackled me to a wall in a damp cave."
"Good point."
Two hours later...
"So, this brave Knight of Camelot? Does he always take this long to rescue damsels in distress?"
"You just had to use the plural, didn't you?"
Two hours and fifteen minutes later...
"I don't suppose there's anything you can do to get us out?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you're magic. I can tell. Don't worry about it, it's just a gift I have. It's why Mr Mer wanted to wed me. That and my incredible wit and beauty, of course. I understand you don't want to be executed but there's no one else here and I promise I won't tell."
"Well, ok. I can get us out of these chains and then we can lure the Merman in here. Then you can distract him and I'll kill him. Then we can steal the jewel he's using to control the enchantment on the cave's entrance and swim to safety."
"Good plan. How should I distract him?"
"He wants to marry you; I'm thinking you'll find a way. Besides, of all the things I wanted to be in my life a damsel in distress was not high on my list."
"You're certainly pretty enough."
"You did want me to rescue you, right?"
"Sorry."
Three hours later...
"Merlin!" roared a voice from the next chamber and Arthur came thundering into the cave just as Merlin was slipping round the back of the Merman ready to strike him down with magic. Jacquelyn had distracted him by telling a convincing lie about a childhood of fishing and he had been trying to impress her with his best assortment of dead fish.
Arthur ran up and cleaved the fish man in two.
"Well, that's certainly an unexpected addition to his collection," said Jacquelyn.
Arthur paused only slightly at the remarkably un-damsel-like statement.
"My Lady, I am here to rescue you," he announced proudly.
"Oh thank you," she said, the emotion of her imprisonment finally overcoming her. She ran up and threw her arms around... Merlin.
"You're my hero."
Arthur looked at the beautiful Princess hanging adoringly off his lanky manservant.
"What just happened?"