Now that all that bullshit was over Chris could relax. But Holy Fucking Shit did he feel lonely. He hasn't felt this lonely since his pet spider abandoned him. He named it Fatass (pronounced Fat-Ass). This is a whole lot of lonely for one shotgun wielding maniac do deal with. So he lay down to get some rest on a gravestone he was seconds ago horribly sobbing against (he is in a graveyard btw). The reality of sleep came down on him like a seductive headstone. Oh wait. The gravestone just fell on Chris' head. But he will never know...
Chris was reaching out for his past. Before he joined smelly S.T.A.R.S with that stinking Barry Burton. The man smelled like moldy old sandwiches. Chris guessed that he probably kept them on his person at all times. He probably never even took a bite out of them. That's the kind of partner Barry was. Anyway this dream was supposed to be about Chris' past not his sexual frustration toward CERTAIN team members.
Chris wished he could go back to his previous team, B.A.M.F.S (Bad Ass MotherFuckerS). Now there was a special ops unit you could tip your hat to. Presumably they would then hold that person at gun point while securing the hat for the bomb squad. Never can be too careful on the mean streets of Raccoon City. GOD IT WAS FUN. Chris could be as violent as he wanted as long as there was no evidence left. So much more freedom. Also no one looked down on him for his feelings toward his shotgun. In fact it was encouraged daily for every B.A.M.F.S member to spend some intimate moments with their weapon of choice. FUCK S.T.A.R.S. FUCK BARRY. FUCK FATASS. FUCK SHOTGUN... FUCK SHOTGUN. OH SHOTGUN. OOoooooOOOH!
Chris woke to find both him and his weapon to be covered in shame. SHIT! If anyone found out he would get fired like every other B.A.M.F.S member during the great gun inspection incident of '96. So much shame that day. For the entire department. Chris was only spared thanks to the supervision of a senior weirdo. One BarRY BURTON! GOD I HATE HIM SO MUCH!
Well this delusional asshole isn't getting anywhere soon so next time we will leave him to see what the other S.T.A.R.S members are up to. I promise there will be some BB characters next time. Though I do not promise that I will put more effort into this.