Ratings: PG/T
Warnings: None.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story, living (or passed) human beings or fictional characters. These events never happened, according to history or as the original author intended them. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to offend. For entertainment purposes only. Thanks.
The blankets were warm despite being underground. Eren sighed. He didn't want to leave his bed just yet. Soft yellow light filtered down through the windows and across his face, warming his cheeks. His lips curled up in an involuntary smile and he felt his eyes parting.
"No." he moaned into his pillow lightly, tugging it gently towards his face. "Not yet."
But he knew it was too late. He was awake.
Eren sat up and stretched his arms high in the air, hearing the satisfying sounds of his spine crack from lying so long all night. He stood and smiled, rubbing his wrists, and stopped to gaze up at the window. It was a beautiful day outside.
His experience of having to stay under the courtroom, with his hands bound by chains to the walls, had indeed taught him a lesson – despite not having the need for it. Freedom was an outstanding thing to take away from a human being, and after being behind bars for so long, just being with other humans was a great comfort to him.
Eren turned and made his bed, pulling up the sheets with a surprisingly optimistic air about him. He walked around his small but not too shabby room, gathering his things and getting ready for the day. He wasn't sure what the Corporal would make him help with, so he tried his best to prepare for the worst. His limbs were sore from all the scrubbing and lifting he had done for the past few days since they moved into the previously abandoned Survey Corps headquarters, but he was glad to be of some help. As he looked himself over as he got dressed, he took note of the swelling of his muscles. He was indeed growing stronger.
Birds chirped outside and Eren found himself walking up from the basement to a rather quiet room. He walked the first floor of the castle, thinking he would catch someone from Squad Levi in one of the many practical day rooms, but they were all empty. Eren vaguely wondered if he slept in or if the others had been called away on an important mission, but he knew that their most important mission right now was him. Slightly confused, Eren headed into the kitchen. He decided he might as well make some tea and wait for the others to arrive. To his surprise a kettle had already been boiled.
Eren put the back of his hand close to the metal kettle and smiled as it was still warm. He took a cup and filled it with some water, before dipping in the mesh infusior ball sitting on a saucer beside the kettle. Second-hand tea, he smirked. It wasn't so bad. That just meant someone was around.
Eren took his cup and began to walk back to their meeting room, eager to find some company. As he passed down the hallways, the bright rising sun caught his attention.
Eren smirked. So he was awake too early.
Figuring Petra was responsible for the tea, he decided he would simply sit outside and watch the sunrise. Perhaps he would feed the horses and tidy up the yard. If Corporal Levi had that planned for him, it would be out of the way. If not, it would give him an excuse to be outside. He would rather not talk to Petra right now anyways. Eren didn't want to say it, but the girl made him uneasy. Perhaps it was the way she looked so innocent, but had killed so many titans? Or perhaps it was because she was quite doll-like for a human being?
Eren sat on the front step of the castle and cup his hands around his teacup. He felt the warmed from the cup radiate through his fingertips and took a sip, before sighing contently and gazing out towards the sun.
He hated to admit it to himself, but the real reason Petra unnerved him was because of the way she was so intrigued by Corporal Levi. She made him feel pressed for time, like she was so close to unraveling the mysteries of that man. Eren took a sip of tea again. It wasn't fair. Acknowledging Petra as competition only made him feel stupid. Petra was a girl. Girls had crushes. That would explain why she dogged Levi around. Eren? He was a boy. Boys idolize their heroes. They looked up to mysterious men to try to become a better man themselves, right?
Eren scowled. He didn't want to be seen as some teenage girl with a crush. He didn't want to compete with Petra for Corporal Levi's attention. Yet, and it was with a sour emotion Eren admitted, he didn't want to see Petra held in Corporal Levi's arms. He didn't want to see her the victor and the closest companion to Levi.
As the image danced before his mind, of her narrow fingers tracing the Corporal's sharp jaw line, Eren squeezed his teacup in anger. But just thinking of the Corporal, seeing his face with a soft gaze, made the image of Petra fade away. Instead, he himself was seated on the Corporal's lap, gazing into his icy grey eyes and tracing his firm jaw line with the tips of his fingertips.
Levi's lips parted and his jaw lowered as he sighed. He breath was warm but delicious and Eren leaned into savour it. Levi caught his chin between his first finger and thumb, pinching it firmly to hold him in place, before pressing their lips together in a very soft, tender kiss.
Eren shook his head, forcing himself back to reality. This wasn't happening. He didn't just dream of kissing Corporal Levi.
Eren put his teacup down, noting his hand shaking. He idolized this man. He respected him. It was nothing to do with wanting to be held and kissed.
Eren wiped his face on his arm and looked towards the sun. He couldn't understand why he had caught tears on his face but as he continued to gaze out towards the bright horizon, no more tears fell.
"What the hell is wrong with me?" he whispered to himself.
A figure came around the horse stalls, just beyond the front walk. Eren sat up straight, wiping his face and trying to calm his heavy breathing. If anyone saw him seemingly out of control, they would put him down for sure.
'And there would go all chances of figuring out about Corporal Levi.'
What?
How was that relevant at this time right now? Wouldn't the bigger worry be not being able to kill off all the titans?
The figure had paused to gaze at the front step and Eren quickly picked up his teacup and took a sip. 'Act natural," he went on instinct.
From the distance, the figure was smaller than most of the Squad, so he guessed it was either Petra or Levi that was awake. The figure raised a hand and beckoned him over.
Eren sighed and rose, leaving his teacup behind. He walked over to the stables where he could clearly see Corporal Levi holding a bucket of food out to one of the horses.
"Early morning, Eren?"
"I couldn't sleep, Corporal."
"Do you always have trouble sleeping?"
"Not usually. I thought it was later than it was, I suppose."
"Hah!" Levi lowered the bucket of food and pet the brown horse before him. "Maybe I should assign you to feeding the horses?"
"I was going to do that after I finished my tea, Sir."
"Hah!" Levi laughed again. "You know you shouldn't be outside without any of us knowing, right?"
Eren sighed. "I wanted to see the sun rise."
Levi set the bucket on the ground and crossed his arms across his chest. He leaned with one shoulder on the building and smirked devilishly.
"Must be terrible, seeing the sun rise only from dungeon windows."
Eren only nodded. He felt his mouth go dry and his chest constrict the moment Levi turned his full attention on him. It was an unsettling feeling. Every doubt, every flaw out in the open for the Corporal to point out.
"Do you wake up early every day, Corporal?" Eren found himself asking.
"Some days. Sometimes I request someone else get up to do the chores, when I feel I need some rest. Petra is always more than willing to carry out any duties I request."
Levi picked up the bucket and started to head back toward the supplies shed. Eren followed him, staying behind him but to his side.
"Petra?" Eren repeated. He clenched his hands in fists and scowled. What exactly did Levi request from her? And why did it bother him so much?
"I rely on her quite a bit to get things done, mainly around the headquarters. The others are all well capable soldiers, but they have needs to attend to and are not so willing to make a dent in their schedules."
"I could always help you."
"Yes, I know." Levi smirked, taking the metal scoop left in one of the bags of horse feed and shoveling several spoons into the bucket.
"But you weren't around when I needed any rest before. Besides," Levi set the scoop down and bent his knees to lift the bucket. "I would still need to be around to watch you."
"Huh?" Eren's eyebrows pulled together. "It's not like I would run away or anything."
"But what if you were to turn into a titan and no one was around?"
Eren reached out and took the bucket from Levi's hands, causing Levi's mouth to drop open.
"Then at least let me help you while you're around."
Levi's eyes narrowed but he didn't say anything. Instead, he shook his head and rolled his eyes.
"Fine. But I am more than capable this morning of doing my chores."
"I just want to help."
"Did you have breakfast yet Eren?"
Eren looked away. No doubt Levi had eaten, and probably cleaned up after himself, before heading out to work. He himself had only had a cup of tea.
"I wasn't hungry."
Levi glared. "You shouldn't be running your body like that. It needs to be nourished first thing in the morning, after having none for so long all night. Don't be stupid because you're trying to be a hero."
Eren's shoulders slumped but he carried the bucket to the next and last horse that required feeding. He gazed fondly at the majestic animal as she dipped her head in the bucket and began to eat.
"How many times have I saved you Eren?"
Eren tore his eyes away from the horse and looked to Levi. He immediately looked back, not wanting to cause an accident with the horse in front of Levi. Besides, the man had no emotion on his face.
"I'm not entirely sure, Corporal."
"Well, the most obvious being once when you sealed up the hole in Trost. And again with the court case. Once more when you spontaneously decided to become a titan over a teaspoon. And should we begin to count the times, such as this, that you broke rules and I didn't report you for it?"
Eren felt his cheeks colour. How was it that Corporal Levi could make him feel like a child so easily?
"A lot then." he mumbled, keeping his eyes on the horse.
"So I can see why you would like to repay me for my extensive services." Levi smirked, twisting the remark to sound like a joke.
Eren felt his jaw drop. Was Levi joking with him? And with something so trivial as comparing life and death with cleaning and chores!
Eren shook his head and pulled the bucket away from the horse.
"Not bad." Levi remarked. He turned and began to walk back to the supply shed.
Eren followed.
"It's not just that." he found himself stating.
"Then what, boy? Because I don't understand why you stay at my heels?"
Eren stopped walking and absorbed the words. Did Corporal Levi not want him around?
"Then why would you take custody of me?"
Levi turned around and noticed Eren several paces back. His eyes flashed up to the castle windows and he quickly covered the ground between them. Before Eren could turn to see what he had seen, Levi had grabbed his wrist and pulled with a surprising amount of force.
"Not out here!" he hissed.
When they had approached the supply shed, Levi simply tossed Eren in by the wrist as if he was no heavier than a bag of rice. He then stepped into the shed himself and closed the door behind them.
"What the fuck was that for?" Eren demanded, attempting to rise to his feet. He had landed rather disgracefully on his back, with his legs tangled up several broomsticks against the wall.
"Why are you trying to cause a scene like that? What the fuck are you trying to do here, Jaeger?!"
Eren pushed away from the wall and covered his face as several brooms feel on him. He pushed them aside and began to wrestle with several of a mop's thick strands that had managed to wrap themselves around his boots.
"I wasn't trying to do anything, Corporal! I'm just trying to understand what you want from me."
"I want what everyone else wants, Jaeger! Out of this hell hole!"
Levi pulled a hunting knife from his boot and slashed at Eren, causing the boy to cover his face in fear. He vaguely wondered if drawing blood would cause him to become a titan, in which case it would most likely end in a fight to the death between himself and the Corporal.
But to his surprise, he felt no pain. Levi replaced his knife and Eren looked up to find the mop had fallen rather limply to the floor as well.
"Thanks." he uttered, ungratefully.
Levi sat on a seal back of horse food and held his head in one hand.
"Yeah. You're welcome. Again."
Eren flushed. He regretted throwing a fit and knelt down in front of Levi.
"I just don't understand Corporal. Why take responsibility of me and then be upset when I follow you everywhere? Isn't that what you signed up for?"
Levi sighed.
"I have never met someone like you, Eren." He whispered. His voice was softer than it had been just a moment ago, yet it was also filled with another emotion. Pain? Envy? Confusion?
Levi reached a hand out and tucked several strands of hair behind Eren's ear, pushing it with his fingers and caressing his temple with his thumb.
"I haven't ever met anyone like you." he repeated.
Eren felt his blood rush in his body. It disturbed him. The brooms, the bags of horse food, the walls of this thin shed, all began to fade away. He wanted more than anything to reach forward and wrap his arms around Levi's neck and press their lips together.
Eren shook his head, his hair falling away from Levi's touch. He had to get the image of Levi's lips from his mind before he did something so stupid.
It was a small action, but one that broke the moment. Levi's lips pressed in a hard line and the softness that seemed to hold him disappeared.
"Come on Jaeger, let's go." Levi shoved him lightly so that he could stand.
Eren followed his action, rising as well. He had broken that mask. For just a few seconds, a minute maybe, he had shared a moment with the real Levi.
"Wait." Eren reached a hand out and touched the man's shoulder. Levi flinched at the contact.
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. For causing a scene."
"No matter. Don't answer any questions on it, alright?"
Eren nodded.
"If anything, you didn't know how to feed the horses."
Levi pushed the supply shed door open but paused after he crossed the threshold.
"On second thought, I am going to punish you for causing that scene." He turned and put a hand on the door. "You're going to clean up this mess. I'll be back to check on your outcome in one hour."
There wasn't much utensils to use to clean up all the dust and dirt along the shelves and floorboards of the supplies shed. The task at first seemed impossible to Eren, but he knew that if he was sighted leaving the shed Levi would be called. On his hands and knees, Eren scrubbed the floors with a small wire-bristled scrubbing brush he found, making sure to get all the dirt into a small dustpan and emptying it into a stray bucket.
He reflected on his early morning as he scrubbed the floor. How did he ever start to fantasize over Corporal Levi? And why was he so captivated by the man in the first place?
He hadn't been in Levi care for very long and he had already upset him multiple times, but this was the worst. It had given him an insight into Levi's mind though, and he wasn't sure if that was worth the mistakes yet or not. He wasn't sure how to make it up to him even. A stray thought to ask Petra how to get back on Levi's good side crossed his mind, but Eren quickly shoved it aside. Like hell he would ask her help! She was his competitor!
Eren stopped scrubbing the floor. Since when had he decided he wanted to compete with Petra? No, since when had he decided that he wanted to pursue something more from Corporal Levi?
Eren shuddered. A chill ran up his spine. Vaguely, he wondered just how far he was willing to let things go with the Corporal. He already was taking his beatings without question. The memory of the court room brought a new wave of questions to Eren's mind. What would Corporal Levi do to him if he was given the chance?
Eren threw the brush into a corner and stood up. He wrapped his arms around himself. A small piece of him longed for home. For Mikasa. And Armin. He felt as if his mind was falling to pieces. Ever since he had awoken from a titan-fogged mind and caught a glimpse of Levi in action, he simply wasn't the same. The man had come out of nowhere and had killed two titans in a matter of seconds. He was fast as a cannonball and as light as a feather. He had looked down at Eren with curiosity, and Eren had felt the world shift around him, expanding and rearranging to orbit around Levi.
Was that it? Could he have fallen for Corporal Levi?
Eren sat down and wrapped his arms around his knees. He hadn't ever paid much attention to feelings. His sense of justice typically caused him to push them aside. Sure, he had thought several woman before were beautiful, moreso than he would think of men in that sense, but he was never aware of any homosexual desires. And he had never judged anyone on potential wife or husbandmaterial. Despite most people's ideas, he viewed Mikasa and Armin as friends; two very loyal friends. Nothing more.
For a moment Eren suddenly wished he was back in the dungeon under the courtroom with the drip. It made things seem less confusing. Levi had spoken to him all night then, and they had spent the dawn together, just like today. But how had he managed to fuck things up between them since then?
Did he like Levi, really like Levi? Or was he just fascinated by a hero?
But why would you want to kiss a hero? Or have them pull your hair? Feel their breath in your mouth? Their skin on your skin?
Eren put his fist in his mouth to keep from screaming out loud. What the hell was he thinking? Did he just fantasize about fucking his squad leader?
'To hell with staying in here to clean up, I need air!'
Eren staggered out of the shed and into the warm of the sun outside. Once there, he fell to his knees and laid his forehead in the cool grass. The birds were chirping, the horses were walking around. All of life seemed to be going along its ordinary route.
He missed his friends. Mikasa. Armin. They would know what to do! Or...would they?
Eren sat up and paused to catch his breath. What if they thought he was crazy? Or worse, what if they confirmed he does like Levi?
Eren felt his stomach roll over.
'Okay,' he thought to himself. 'let's be rational. What is the worst that can happen?'
Eren stood on shaking legs as he thought of the answer. The worst that could happen would be rejection. Either Levi isn't gay or he didn't return Eren's affections. That was cool. That would hurt, but that was cool. Eren exhaled. He could handle that, he was sure of it.
But what if everyone found out? What if Jean or Armin or Connie found out? Would they look at him differently? Would he forever he branded as some kind of fuckboy?
Eren swallowed hard. He knew what he would have to do. There was only two options from here on out.
He stepped into the shed and glanced around. Most of the shelves were in order, arranged to Levi's liking. The floor was spotless, with the exception of the brush in the corner. Eren walked over to pick it up.
His first option was to get Corporal Levi alone and talk to him about it. Force his twisted tongue to cough up the words and let him know what the hell is going on. It wouldn't be so hard – he had gotten him alone this morning.
Or he had the second option. He could do nothing at all and force himself to reject these feelings. He wasn't sure if this was the smartest idea, there was really no way to predict how long he would be in this awkward phase of trying to reject these feelings. And he knew deep down that the mystery of Corporal Levi would haunt him to the end of his days if he didn't pursue him.
A shadow darkened the interior of the shed. Eren turned around, holding the brush behind his back.
Oluo sneering face look down at him before cracking a grin.
"Eh, Levi's got you cleaning in here now too?"
"Yes!" Eren replied. "Since this morning!"
"Hmm...I saw him talking to Petra at the front step. Perhaps he'll come along and relieve you soon?"
Eren smiled.
"That would be a relief, wouldn't it? You probably didn't even get a chance to piss yet!"
Oluo shifted the boxes in his arms and began to walk away, his barking laughter resonating in Eren's mind.
Eren vaguely wondered if he should throw the wire-brush at the back of his head. Petra was right about him; he was an annoying copy of Levi.
Eren turned and placed the wire brush on the shelf. He sighed and sat down on the same bag of horse food that Levi had almost an hour earlier.
"Didn't seem like you were doing too well."
Eren looked up to find Levi leaning against the doorframe. His blood surged at the sight of him and his face lit up with a smile immediately.
"Corporal!"
"Doing better?"
Eren's face fell. "What are you-"
"I saw from the window." Levi pointed towards the castle. "You came outside to lie down for a minute. Are you feeling sick?" As he spoke Levi kicked himself off the doorframe and came to put a hand on Eren's forehead.
Eren flinched.
"No. I was..." he paused. "The air in here was too heavy with dust. I needed some fresh air. That's all."
"I see." Levi turned and looked around, before picking up the wire brush. He put it on another shelf, one with more tools than boxes. He looked down to the floor. "You did a really good job in here."
"Thanks!"
"I asked the others if they would be kind enough to leave you some food for lunch. You must be starving."
"I didn't really pay much attention to that." Eren admitted.
"Go to the kitchen and eat something, you damned brat. Have a rest, you earned one."
Eren stood. He watched as Levi traced his finger on the edge of a small box.
For once Eren held his tongue. A burning desire to ask Levi what he had meant when he had said he hadn't met anyone like Eren had intrigued him. Did he perhaps mean he was in some way as curious about Eren as Eren was about him? Or was he referring to his titan-shifting ability and his desire to protect it?
Eren turned and left the shed. Now that Levi had mentioned it, he was quite hungry.
It wasn't until he had passed through the front doors of the castle when he recalled something else Levi had said to him earlier.
"I want what everyone else wants, Jaeger! Out of this hell hole!"
Eren's boot made a soft click against the stone step before he paused.
'Out of this hell hole' – did Levi mean he wanted out from these walls as well?
Eren shook his head. That was probably obvious, why else would he be a Corps? But it had presented him with just the conversation he might need to get Levi alone.