Bleached Madness 2
BEWARE. The last part of this chapter, we get a new special addition to our "special" group. In result, Ichiruki7 goes crazy. I will not say how crazy, but I will say that I had to tone her down. YES. The draft is even worse. I bet you'd never think that to be possible. Well it is. Another googledocs special, enjoy.
Disclaimer: Even Kubo wouldn't go this far, thus, we don't own Bleach!
Miku Alli: Welcome back to the madness!
IchiRuki7: Long time no see...I'm so ready for this!
Miku Alli: Well today we get to torture...Ichigo Kurosaki!
IchiRuki7: With help from Yoruichi Shihoin! Muhahaha!
Miku Alli: Again, this room is made of sekiki rock, with no possible chance of escape.
IchiRuki7: This should be good! You know how Ichigo has a bit of a temper...
Ichigo: ...
Miku Alli: *Awkward Turtle*
IchiRuki7: What. The. Hell.
Miku Alli: It's what you do when there is awkward silence.
IchiRuki7: Duhhhh...Ichigo's a turtle.
Yoruichi: He does live in a shell... He's so sheltered and innocent.
IchiRuki7: I know...Yet he looks like a squid?
Miku Alli & Ichigo: A squid?
IchiRuki7: Yes...A squid. You're like flubber...
Miku Alli & Ichigo: *exchange glances*
Miku Alli: But he's like... Fit? *cough* Hot *cough*
Yoruichi: I *cough* Agree *cough* *cough* cough*
Ichigo: *facepalmed*
Yoruichi: Just kidding!
Miku Alli: I'm *cough* Not *cough*
IchiRuki7: If you ask me... He looks more like a bowl of string beans than anything else...
Ichigo: *sweatdrops after realizing he is the only male in the room*
Yoruichi: So, when do I get pai-
Miku Alli: *covers Yoruichi's mouth with hand and cuts her off* Remember? We weren't going to talk about that?
Ichigo: Wait? So I get kidnapped and she gets pai-
Miku Alli: *hits him in the back of the head with Zangetsu that we confiscated earlier*
Ichigo: *falls unconscious*
IchiRuki7: Look what you did! How the hell are we supposed to torture him now?
Yoruichi: Like this. *pulls out some markers*
Miku Alli: Ooh. I want the blue one.
IchiRuki7: *laughs maniacally* I WANT THE RED ONE!
Yoruichi: You know... This isn't the only thing we could do with an unconscious Ichigo..
IchiRuki7: *glances at Yoruichi* And may I ask what you have in mind?
Miku Alli: Isn't that illegal?
Yoruichi: Depends on if you're thinking what I'm thinking...
IchiRuki7: Again...What are you thinking! Will someone please tell me what's going on here!
Ichigo: *mumbling in almost incomprehensible words* Not the yaoi fangirlsss. No... Get awayyyyy!
Miku Alli: *sideways glances at Yoruichi* Let me hope he isn't reading your mind...
IchiRuki7: WHAT IS GOING ON! What the hell are you thinking! Hello...Hello?
Yoruichi: No, not at all. He is probably is just having nightmare of being assaulted by yaoi fangirls. Obviously not us.
IchiRuki7: *Sits down, and starts punching the sekiki rock* Thanksss. I have a headache now.
Miku Alli: I just hope this isn't another repeat of the Keigo incident.
IchiRuki7: *Glares*
Ichigo: *still unconscious*
Miku Alli: I've got an idea...
- After getting an air mattress and finding a convenient underground lake which was also conveniently located under Urahara's shop, they all drag Ichigo onto the mattress and set him adrift in the lake, still unconscious. Now all they have to do is wait.-
Miku Alli: Yoruichi, pass the popcorn will yah?
Yoruichi: *while staring at Ichigo on the mattress grabs a handful of popcorn and throws it at Alli's face*
Miku Alli: Pass the BOWL. Sorry for not being LITERAL.
IchiRuki7: *starts laughing* Mannn, this just gets better and better...
Miku Alli: *glares at Han* Next time, we should set you adrift.
IchiRuki7: *gives Alli a confused look, then starts crying* That wasn't very nice.
Miku Alli: Look! He's waking up! *holds up video camera*
Ichigo: *sits up, looks around, then falls into water*
Miku Alli, IchiRuki7, & Yoruichi: *all start suffering from a psychotic laugh attack*
Miku Alli: *rolling on the ground laughing while somehow still being able to get Ichigo's suffering on tape*
IchiRuki7: *points at Ichigo's flailing body in the water.* Hey guys...IT LOOKS LIKE HE IS DROWNING!
Yoruichi: *shrugs* It's because he is. Have you ever seen Ichigo swim?
Miku Alli: *sweatdrops*
IchiRuki7: Uhmmm...No, Have you? *mumbles* Creeper.
Miku Alli: Well... Who's the best swimmer here?
Yoruichi: I'm not saving him.
Miku Alli: That was a quick answer.
Yoruichi: Your point is?
Miku Alli: ...
IchiRuki7: *Grabs the popcorn bowl out of Yoruichi's hands and starts shoving popcorn into mouth.*
Miku Alli: I guess that means it's me... *grumbles but slowly gets into water and swims out to Ichigo, then starts dragging him back to shore* How is it that you can defeat Aizen, but you can't freaking swim?
IchiRuki7 & Yoruichi: *both stare at Ichigo for an answer*
Ichigo: *unable to speak due to the fact he's coughing up water*
Ichiruki7: Hah now he really does look like a squid!
Miku Alli: Where the hell did you get the squid thing from? Like really?
IchiRuki7: Your mom.
Ichigo: My *hack water* mom *hack water* has nothing *hack water* to do *hack water* with this!
Miku Alli: *blinks* I don't even want to know...
Ichiruki7: Yeah...You don't.
Yoruichi: ...
-They suddenly remember that they weren't supposed to be able to leave the sekiki room, so once again they knock Ichigo out and he slowly wakes up in the sekiki room-
Ichigo: *looks around*
Yoruichi: Welcome back Mr. Rock!
Ichigo: Better than strawberry...
Yoruichi: Correction. Welcome back Mr. Strawberry Rock!
Ichigo: *scowls*
Miku Alli: *fangirl squeals* It's the scowl!
IchiRuki7: THE scowl! O.M.T. (Oh My Tomato)
Ichigo: *scowl deepens*
Miku Alli & Ichiruki7: *louder fangirl screams*
Yoruichi: *rolls eyes*
IchiRuki7: *looks toward Ichigo* Jelly beans!
Miku Alli: *shoots a confused look in Han's direction* Out of it much?
IchiRuki7: Hah! Uhhhh maybe just a smidge? It's late you can't blame me! But still...LOOK AT THE SCOWL!
Miku Alli: That is a dreamy scowl...
IchiRuki7: What the hell are you saying! *Slaps*
Ichigo: ...
Miku Alli: AHEM! Thank you, I needed that.
Yoruichi: No kidding...
Ichigo: *nods*
Miku Alli: So... If you had to be on a deserted island, what three things or people would you bring?
IchiRuki7: Uhhmmm, how was this brought into the conversation? *Gives Alli a confused look*
Miku Alli: I felt like it. got a problem with that? *glares*
IchiRuki7: Yeah...Actually I do! *Takes a step closer and pulls ear rings off signaling a fight*
Miku Alli: You don't have your ears pierced... *puts up a sign that says, "Fight rejected."*
Yoruichi: Well, before you two kill each other, I might just answer the question. I would bring... Unlimited food... Water... And a certain person...
Ichigo: What certain person?
Miku Alli: Ooohhhh.. I think I know...
IchiRuki7: *slowly backs away from Alli, in order to hear the slightly interesting conversation.*
Yoruichi: I think I said 'certain person' to hint on, that I won't be telling you who it is.
Miku Alli: COME ON! Seriously?
Yoruichi: Seriously.
Miku Alli: *sad face* So Ichigo, what's your 3?
Ichigo: Do I really have to answer this?
IchiRuki7: Uhmmm yeah...It's probably...Rukia...Rukia...And...Rukia!
Ichigo: *turns red* Not that midget! She's obsessed with that stupid chappy and wait... IchiRuki... You... You... You...
Miku Alli: *giggles* You hadn't figured that out? This entire time?
Ichigo: Seriously?
Yoruichi: Seriously.
IchiRuki7: *Slowly walks away...*
Ichigo: *still red* Why... Why... Why...
Miku Alli: Because. You and Rukia are destined. Tite Kubo even said he changed your looks to match Rukia's better. It's so obvious.
IchiRuki7: *Glares at Alli*
Miku Alli: What's wrong with that?
Ichigo: *Glares at Alli*
Miku Alli: WHAT!
IchiRuki7 & Ichigo: *Deepen the glare*
Yoruichi: Seriously.
Miku Alli: Is that your catch phrase now or something!
IchiRuki7: Alli, you are so unbelievably stupid...Do you know that? *Still glaring*
Miku Alli: Am I missing something here?
Ichigo: …...
Yoruichi: *awkward turtle*
IchiRuki7: *raises eyebrows* Man, How much more stupid can people get around here?
Miku Alli: *sighs in confusion* Moving on... Let's play spin the bottle! As Ichigo as the only possible candidate. *muffled laughter*
Ichigo: 0.0
Yoruichi: Hm.. This might be hard with only Ichigo.
IchiRuki7: Yeah...Maybe just a little. I call kissing him first!
Ichigo: *Glances at Alli, Yoruichi, and Han giving each of them a worried expression.*
Miku Alli: Nevermind... Since Ichigo made a... Convincing case against the game. *pockets bribe money*
'IchiRuki7: Heyyyy, that's cheating! I wanna kiss that man hunk!
Yoruichi: No comment.
Ichigo: *hides*
Miku Alli: Let's play hide and seek! First person to find Ichigo gets to throw him to the fangirls.
Ichiruki7: Or you both could just give him to me! *creepily smiles*
Miku Alli: Hell no.
Yoruichi: I agree. I've wanted to throw him to the fangirls for quite some time now.
Ichiruki7: I'M A FANGIRL! Throw my long lost love to me! We are destined to be together forever, I just have to figure out a way to make uhh... What's her name? Hmmmm...Oh yeah. R.U.K.I.A "disappear" *Laughs demonically*
Miku Alli: Are you forgetting your freaking user name for heavens sake?
Yoruichi: Seriously.
Miku Alli: *glares*
IchiRuki7: Well, I'm sorry! I'm so obsessed with Ichigo that I um... Got distracted by his biceps?
Ichigo: *still hidden from everyone* *sweatdrops*
Yoruichi: Is it time to say, moving on?
Miku Alli: *nods* Moving on... Let's go find Ichigo!
-They realize the fact that they're in a small room, and they find him in the corner under a box-
Yoruichi: Alright. I got to him first.
Miku Alli: NO! I did.
IchiRuki7: Nooooo! I DID!
Miku Alli: You lie!
IchiRuki7: Nooooo! YOU LIE!
Miku Alli: You are in denial that you're a liar!
IchiRuki7: I'm not in denial about being a liar! BECAUSE I'M NOT!
Yoruichi: *hits both of them upside the head*
Miku Alli: AHEM! Thank you.
IchiRuki7: *rubs head.* Owww...
Miku Alli: Wait... Where's Ichigo?
Yoruichi: *holds him up like a puppy* Right here.
Ichiruki7: *keeps rubbing head.* Ooooohh...ICHIGO! I almost forgot about how much of a man Hunk you are. *creepily smiles*
Ichigo, Yoruichi, and Miku Alli: …...
IchiRuki7: Well...It's... TRUE!
Miku Alli: *hits Han over the head with a pan*
IchiRuki7: *falls to the ground*
K. Missouri: Alli, what are you doing?
Miku Alli: Um... *puts down pan* Torturing Ichigo with help from Yoruichi?
IchiRuki7: *slowly wakes up from unconsciousness* Who...Who is this!
K. Missouri: *stays silent for a bit* Okay, then. Get me my iPod.
Ichigo: Who are you? Wait, who are all of you? Why am I here?
Miku Alli: *is lazy* Get your own iPod!
K. Missouri: I'm the guy that's gonna scare the royal fuck out of you, my orange haired friend. *gets iPod*
Yoruichi: Oooh. This looks like it will be interesting.
Miku Alli: Ditto.
Ichigo: *cowers in fear*
Ichiruki7: *glares at Ichigo* Uhm...Where have you been all my life?
Miku Alli: *hits Han over the head with the pan she recently picked back up off the floor*
K. Missouri: Say hello to your mama. *Masaki suddenly appears*
IchiRuki7: *falls unconscious...Again*
Yoruichi: Was that from the pan, or seeing Ichigo's mother?
Ichigo: Uhhhh uhhh mom? Is that you?
Miku Alli: Whoa.
-Suddenly, Masaki turns into a blood-thirsty monster then turns back to normal.-
Ichigo: *screams*
K. Missouri: Ahh hahaha! Scared yo ass!
Miku Alli: Double whoa.
Yoruichi: You scared him good! *high fives, then points to where he's cowering on the floor*
Ichigo: *still cowering on the floor*
Ichiruki7: *still unconscious*
K. Missouri: *Reveals that Masaki is actually a puppet.* Damn, no wonder that blonde guy was snickering when he gave me this?
Ichigo: URAHARA! I'm going to rip his fu-
Yoruichi: *kicks Han awake*
IchiRuki7: *looks up, quickly blinking.* I- Ichi- ICHIGOOOO!
K. Missouri: I'm just joking. I made this. And I can make her talk too. Look!
Miku Alli: Wow... That is insanely cruel-like.
Yoruichi: But his reaction was funny.
Miku Alli: Yes, yes it was.
K. Missouri: Without a doubt,... Wait, you're black, right?
Miku Alli: Me?
K. Missouri: Not you. Her.
Ichiruki7: Me? *points to self*
K. Missouri: NO!
Ichiruki7: Are you sure?
K. Missouri: Ughh...
IchiRuki7: Well...Who knows?.
K. Missouri: Enough of this bullshit.
Ichigo: Yeahhhh.
Yoruichi: That was weak.
Ichigo: I don't care!
Miku Alli: Okayy. Moving on.
K. Missouri: Anyways, sorry for that whole thing earlier, I know how feels to lose a parent.
IchiRuki7: *sits on the floor* I'm so confused right now...I'm gonna go to sleep everyone. *lays on floor*
Miku Alli: *kicks awake* Hell no! You wake your butt up!
K. Missouri: Alli, don't say that. Use the words inside.
Miku Alli: *puzzled look* What words?
K. Missouri: I don't know. Now take this taser and wake that bitch up. No offence.
Miku Alli: I hope it made offence. *tasers her like they tasered that dude on the hangover* (( http(:/)www(.)youtube(.)com/watch?v=iSYlxzCHvKg, Hangover taser scene, if anyone's interested))
IchiRuki7: *starts spazzing, due to the taser*
K. Missouri: Now give me that taser, it's my mom's. *takes the taser from Miku Alli*
IchiRuki7: *still spazzing* Gaahhh WHAT THE HELL!
K. Missouri: I gave Alli a taser and woke you up.
Yoruichi: Can I try it? On Ichigo?
K. Missouri: Sure.
Ichigo: What in the hell? Is it torture me day or something?
IchiRuki7: *looks at * I hate you.
Yoruichi: *takes taser and tasers the hell out of Ichigo*
Ichigo: *falls unconscious*
IchiRuki7, Miku Alli, and Yoruichi: *points and start laughing.*
K. Missouri: Hah. That was funny. And plus, I'm not the one that tasered you, Alli did. *looks at Miku Alli* Sorry.
Miku Alli: No apologies. It was fun.
IchiRuki7: *rofl'ing*
K. Missouri: Hey, has anyone heard about the band, 'Hollywood Undead'?
Miku Alli: HELL YES!
Ichigo and Yoruichi: *puzzled looks*
K. Missouri: Well, listen. In fact, I even wondered what it would look like if orange boy was the drummer?
Ichigo: Me?
Yoruichi, Miku Alli, and Ichiruki7: Who else would it be?
K. Missouri: Yes, I mean you, dumbass.
Ichigo: I don't play the drums...
IchiRuki7: *slaps*
Miku Alli: Well you should learn!
K. Missouri: Yeah! Now here's a drum set. If you don't play, I will do something you really don't like.
Ichigo: 0.0 Um... *goes to drumset*
K. Missouri: Now play!
Ichigo: *plays, but it sounds like shit*
Miku Alli, IchiRuki7, and Yoruichi: Boooo! *throws random shit at sucky drummer*
K. Missouri: Play like you mean it. Imagine the music inside of you and focus them in your sticks. Or feel electrolytes in your body.
Ichigo: *tries, but still sucks*
K. Missouri: *sighs* Alright, let's try another method. Here, listen to Pendulum. *throws iPod at him*
IchiRuki7: *grabs iPod and shits on it.* Due to the deep hatred of Pendulum.
IchiRuki7: *licks iPod*
K. Missouri: *blank look*
Ichiruki7:: *Keeps licking shit off iPod.*
K. Missouri: I have a strange feeling you have experience with that….
IchiRuki7: *Quickly stops licking shit in order to glare at K. Missouri* Hey asshole go eat some of my green shit!
K. Missouri: *fires back* Oh, now that's how it's gonna be? Okay, don't make me go all gangster on you!
Miku Alli: *makes a bowl of popcorn appear*
IchiRuki7: Uhhh...Scary? *shits on K. Missouri's foot, then bends down to start licking it.*
Yoruichi: Pass the popcorn.
Ichigo: Can I have some popcorn?
Miku Alli: *grumbles and shares*
K. Missouri: *fires a metal net at her, ties it up and hangs her on the ceiling.* Now, until you behave, you stay there!
IchiRuki7: *starts peeing and pooping on K. Missouri at the same time, from up in the net..* Heeeyyy! How do ya like that!
K. Missouri: *looks at the other three and gives them gas masks* You'll need these right about now. *opens a can of knockout, tear and flash gas and fires them at her.*
IchiRuki7: *continues pooping*
K. Missouri: Goddamn it, she's still awake. *takes out a Uzi* Well, it's been nice knowing ya, see ya. *starts firing bullets at her until there were no more*
Miku Alli, Yoruichi, and Ichigo: Damn.. We thought this would last longer...
IchiRuki7: *takes one last poo (this time PURPLE AND ORANGE!), and suddenly disappears*
K. Missouri: Well that takes care of that. She was feisty, though.
IchiRuki7: *suddenly appears out of nowhere, quickly shits on K. Missouri's face, then disappears once again.*
Yoruichi: Nice reappearance move.
Miku Alli: Ditto. *munch*
K. Missouri: *wipes the shit off his face* Well, she'll be shitting on people in hell when I see her again.
IchiRuki7: *appears and starts shooting poo rockets at K. Missouri*
K. Missouri: I'm gonna take care of this shitting bitch. *disappears to kill her*
IchiRuki7: *hiding in an unknown place, pee starts coming out of the air.*
Ichiruki7: *starts peeing on Ichigo and Yoruichi*
Miku Alli: *holds up an oversized umbrella* What the hell? This is funny smelling rain...
IchiRuki7: *aims pee onto Miku Alli*
Miku Alli: *blocks pee, shoots AK-47 at Han, hits, and laughs maniacally*
Ichigo: What the hell is going on?
Yoruichi: You think I know?
IchiRuki7: *dies with poo coming out of butt*
K. Missouri: *returns out of nowhere, and snaps her neck to make sure.*
Yoruichi: This room smells like piss and shit.
Ichiruki7: *in ghost form* I wonder why. *maniacally starts laughing*
Ichigo: No kidding. WAIT! Is that bitch alive?
Yoruichi: A ghost... That totally contradicts Bleach entirely.
Miku Alli: HEY! We here respect the 4th wall.
K. Missouri: Yeah. But don't you idiots take souls and shit?
Ichigo and Yoruichi: Who the hell knows...
Miku Alli: At least she can't shit in the afterlife.
K. Missouri: Or as a ghost for that matter...
Ichiruki7: Or can I? *starts shitting all over K. Missouri.* Hmm...I wonder.
Miku Alli: Question, do shinigami go to the bathroom? Oh shit, I guess ghosts, souls, or whatever they are can.
Yoruichi, Ichigo, and Miku Alli: *backs away*
K. Missouri: *the shit goes through him, not even touching him* It seems your useless now, beetch.
Miku Alli: HAA! You have ghost shit.
IchiRuki7: *starts crying* Noooooooooo! I lost my shitting powers. *dies even more*
K. Missouri: Is she dead YET?
Miku Alli: Who the hell knows...
K. Missouri: Well, anyways. Do you guys like pot?
Miku Alli: Ehh. Wierdd.
K. Missouri: Well, I got this cheap from this red head whose hair looks like a pineapple. Lots of tattoos though.
Ichigo: Renji sells pot?
Yoruichi: Who knew...
K. Missouri: You two want some of this chronic shit? I assure you, it will make you feel awesome.
Miku Alli: Hey ghost shitter, where'd ya go?
IchiRuki7: *starts squirting pee everywhere*
Ichigo and Yoruichi: Eh... Naw.
Miku Alli: Heheheheh. Ghost pee doesn't work either. Unless you resurrect yourself, your powers don't work anymore! Shit... I gave her the idea...
IchiRuki7: *comes back to life, grabs a shovel, and starts beating K. Missouri with it. Dance Fucker Dance! ((Off the song you're Gunna Go Far, Kid by the Offspring. FYI.))
Miku Alli: *suddenly has more popcorn*
Yoruichi and Ichigo: *stare*
Miku Alli: FINE! *shares*
K. Missouri: *grabs the shovel and blows her brains out, rips her heart out and disintegrates her body* How was that dance, bitch? Huh?
IchiRuki7: *comes back to life, yet again. Sits on K. Missouri, and starts shitting all over him*
K. Missouri: *grabs a sword, and cuts her into pieces* Next time, I'm getting these two to take care of you.
IchiRuki7: *starts laughing.* You can't kill me dumbass, in case you haven't noticed. *continues poo'ing*
K. Missouri: Jesus Christ, where's Puffy or Tupac when you need him?
Miku Alli: ?
IchiRuki7: Hey K. Missouri! You have a fat little ass now don't you? So I hear...
K. Missouri: I'm afraid that's not me. That's my friend.
IchiRuki7: Hah...It's your ass...Don't deny your fatness!
K. Missouri: You don't know me? You don't know what I look like? You need to watch your damn mouth. *turns to Miku Alli* Hey, Alli? Do you wanna finish her off?
Miku Alli, Yoruichi, and Ichigo: We aren't getting near that shitting bitch.*eats more popcorn*
IchiRuki7: Naahh, thanks for the suggestion though...Time to shit some more. *Pulls out brownie mix and starts eating while poo'ing* Yum, I love me my brownie mix!
Miku Alli: Thanks a freaking lot. I'll never be able to eat brownies the same again.
K. Missouri: Dear, holy father: I call upon thee to blast her into pieces. Please. *then a sudden light falls upon her.*
IchiRuki7: *quickly disappears from the magical light* Go. Do. The. Brownie. Mix. Please?
Miku Alli, Yoruichi, and Ichigo: LEAVE THE GODDAMN BROWNIE MIX OUT OF THIS!
IchiRuki7: No. I don't think I will. *stirs the brownie mix, grabs a spoon, and starts flinging it at everyone.*
Miku Alli: Oh shit! *runs for cover*
K. Missouri: My lord and savior, please rise upon us and destroy the evil that haunts us, in Jesus' name. Amen. *then the light reappears and an unknown person appears*
Miku Alli, Yoruichi, Ichigo, and Ichiruki7: *hide*
K. Missouri: *points at Han* That is the one that must die!
IchiRuki7: *crawls under a rock*
K. Missouri: She's getting away!
Miku Alli: REALLY? *uses author powers to erase rock*
Yoruichi: Couldn't you have done something like that earlier?
Ichigo: COULDN'T YOU?
Miku Alli: Yeah, But I didn't feel like it.
K. Missouri: This shit is insane, let's just kill her so we can let them go.
Ichiruki7: Okay, you know what? I feel unwanted. I'm freaking leaving now.
Miku Alli: Fine then. Okay, I guess I have to let these two go now, so... Yeah... Say which two bleach characters you want to come in next. Just say in the comments. *lets them go*
Miku Alli: See all yah next time.
K. Missouri: Peace, y'all.
IchiRuki7: Byeeee! :) Try shitting on someone tomorrow!
Miku Alli: Stfu…..
I'm sorry. You're probably either gagging, on the verge of throwing up, or crying. I'm sorry, if you need someone to vent to, talk to Ichiruki7.
Thanks to K. Missouri for joining us for this bout of insanity.
Fyi, New King is coming out probably this weekend.
Bye.