These guys are going to be OOC as penguins doing the salsa in the desert dressed as Ottsels. That's what crackfic is for! I wanted to do more with Jak and his mind buddies, but Seem is kinda an important part of the story and needed page time. Plus, Daxter!
Enjoy!
Ambassador Erol of Haven city had been staying with the Empress Seem in the Wastelands for nearly two weeks now, negotiating various things from Trade to Travel, and exchanging culture of course. Today however the Empress was to meet with her betrothed and had dismissed Erol to his own devices. Thus, the orange haired Havenite varied from exploring the vast temple-castle to wandering aimlessly.
"Precursors on high, this is going to be a lot of work." A mans voice drifted from an open nearby door. Erol paused in front of it to peer inside with vague interest just at the right moment to witness what had to be the cutest thing he had ever seen.
"What's going to be a lot of work?" There were two men in the room, both blonde though it had been the younger who'd spoken. The elder glanced up as he noticed Erol in the door way with an exasperated expression. Then the younger blonde (though Erol noticed green at his roots, interesting) turned to follow the other's gaze to Erol, and Erol promptly took back his earlier thought about the boy being cute.
He was gorgeous ( and not exactly a boy if the goatee, green like the roots of his hair, was any indicator). Grinning slyly as a fox Erol took a stride into the room.
"Excuse me Gentlemen, didn't mean to interrupt anything."
The younger blonde gave him a wary look that sent tingles down his spine. The cautious ones were always more fun to break in.
And suddenly, Gol's day got a hell of a lot better.
"Of course not, my dear Ambassador," he purred, his attention diverted from Jak in favor of the Havenite. He had not yet had the pleasure of speaking with Erol yet, but Gol knew of his reputation, and even if he hadn't, he only had to look at the man to want to get to know him very well.
Oh, if he wasn't busy with Jak right now... but perhaps the boy could wait. After all, if he hadn't killed himself so far, it was unlikely that he would manage to do so in the next hour. Or several hours. Or, hell, even all night. And Erol was looking delightful. It was amazing how easy it was to coerce foreigners into lighter clothing once they were overwhelmed by the Wasteland temperatures.
"We were merely discussing a... trivial matter," Gol continued, taking a step towards Erol. "Something that can easily be put aside. What brings you here, Ambassador?"
Erol paused at the elder blonde's sudden shift from exasperated to interested, but recovered quickly with an (false) apologetic grin.
"If you have the time, I seem to have gotten quite lost." Here he waved a hand in an gesturing arc." Though these halls are certainly each unique and unforgettable in their own way, such things are useful in finding one's way only is one is paying attention." Erol tried for a sheepish look at the younger blonde, but it came out more impish then anything. Cute and helpless just didn't sit properly on his features after all.
Jak, bless his little dark eco filled heart, was still recovering mentally from his episode as Darke Jak and as such was closer to his primal instincts then usual. Those instincts were telling him to go and hide behind Gol while the elder drove the new man,[i]predator[i],off.
Jak forced himself to hold his ground. He would not go and hide behind a man he'd just met fellow Dark Channeler or not, regardless of how much he did not like how the new man was looking at him.
AT ALL.
So imagine his confusion when said fellow channeler was more then friendly to the intruder (Ambassador, Gol had said.) and if his heightened senses were correct a little excited as well. Not in the giddy-happy-lets-go-play sense either. His gentler side, Li'ght, agreed with him wholeheartedly that this new man was to be avoided. Darke on the other hand was his un-helpful self and insisted that the new man would be fun. Serves them right for interrupting him earlier, which if they hadn't there would ALREADY be fun.
To that statement Li'ght promptly flared up and gave Darke the mental equivalent of a bitch slap, which for some reason Jak imagined was done with tentacles. Not one to take that kinda shit sitting down, Darke retaliated in kind and a mental slap fight ensued with poor Jak caught in the middle.
'Guys, GUYS! Not now oh for the Love of the Precursors PLEASE don't do this right now!' Jak squeaked and tried vainly to repress the flares of eco caused by the two fighting. Jak didn't know how attuned this other channeler was, so he probably wouldn't feel Li'ght, but the green-blonde teen decidedly did NOT want to give Gol the reason to believe he was going to go Darke again for ANY reason. Especially with that Ambassador guy there.
'Guuuuuuu~ys!' He whined mentally, still ignored.
"A tour of our fine home then, Ambassador, or were you hoping to return to your rooms to rest for the day?" Gol asked, mentally sighing when he felt Jak's eco levels flaring again. This boy would definitely be a lot of work.
"While a tour sounds lovely, I think I'd rather like to be back in my rooms. This heat wears on the body." Erol replied. Perhaps the two blondes could be encouraged to stay for an..."extended visit" to his quarters.
"Very well. Jak," Said Gol, turning to address the young man. "I think it would best if you stayed here and got some rest. I'm sure your day thus far has been very tiring and I don't want to be the one who has to explain to the Empress about any mishaps." He said in a warning tone to let the younger channeler know that he had best pull himself together.
Jak nodded, relieved. If he was by himself it wouldn't matter how much his other two personalities fought. Erol on the other hand was a bit disappointed as Gol lead him out. Oh well, one couldn't have everything.
"You'll have to forgive the boy on his manners Ambassador. He's only just joined our Lady Seem's...employ today." Said the dark channeler after they began their journey.
"Ah? And what would the boy be doing, If I may ask. I'm always eagar to learn more about day to day life in the Wasteland." Erol smoothly inquired.
"Always glad to educate. Jak was bought recently from..." Gol paused to search his memory before continuing, "An outlaying Marauder tribe of her Ladyship's eastern domain I believe. He will, after some instruction, be joining the Empresses' harem."
"Her-?!" Choking in surprise and stumbling a step, Erol inwardly cursed himself for being caught off guard as he composed himself. "I was unaware of that particular chain in the palace hierarchy." Saved the redhead after his brief blunder.
"Vastly different from the ways of Haven, I know." Gol chuckled. "But I assure you though we are legally slaves our Lady treats us well. With her Ladyship's help I would boast to being better read than many of the lesser nobles."
"Then you are...employed in that manner as well?" Erol asked, keeping his features calm and his stride even.
"I am." Grinned Gol. "To further your education on the subject I would add that unless expressly forbidden by the Empress, Ambassadors have full access to the harem to make their stay more welcoming." Erol considered this for a moment, and smirked.
"I'm afraid I have many questions to ask you to further my understanding of this system, if you would spare me some time from your day." Purred the redhead, still smirking.
Gol smirked back.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000
"Cheer up, Your Ladyship! Ole' cancer stick ain't half the woman you are. Obviously. I mean he has an impeccable sense of style, but I bet that wont save his hide from being cherry red before the day is out. Heh! I bet if you draw this out long enough he'll agree to anything just to go back to that frozen waste he calls home! Now me, I prefer sand to snow. For one it doesn't melt when you-"
Seem smiled to herself as her favorite attendant (outside of her harem, of course) babbled on while he served her water. Chilled and a little sweet, the Empress didn't know how Daxter managed that but she suspected he laced it with cactus juice. He was a cute boy with his buckteeth and freckles, and had a lot of spunk.
Best of all he wasn't afraid to speak his mind around her. He never scrapped and bowed (expect when appearances demanded it, but in private like this? Never.) and while most nobles would find that unacceptable Seem found it refreshing.
"Empress Seem, Your betrothed has arrived." A servant bowed from the doorway.
"Send him in." She sighed, sinking back into her chair. She would prefer to be in one of the lavish sitting rooms, lounging on plush pillows and not this uncomfortable wood and reed chair. Northeners however had a thing for tables that sat ridiculously high off the ground. So did Havenites for that matter. Formality and appearances were two of the most aggravating things about her position.
"Seem. A pleasure to see you again." Said the northern lord as he strode into the room. Daxter hurried to pull his chair out for him and made a face behind his back. Seem tried to hold back a smile.
"Razer." She replied simply. For a time there was an awkward silence as Daxter poured the Lord his own drinks and royalty avoided the issue. The two of them had never been comfortable around each other being from such vastly different worlds. Lingering where the other man couldn't see him, Daxter gave Seem a thumbs up for support. She took a deep breath.
"I am not marrying you!"
"I wish to cancel our engagement." Seem and Razer both blurted out at the same time, though the man with more restraint. Both blinked at each other as they processed the words, then dissolved into laughter.
"Those are exactly the words I wanted to hear. Consider it done." Seem breathed in relief.
"If only it were that simple my dear, I would have never come to this too warm sand trap. No offense of course." Razer sighed, sinking back into his chair, and taking a generous sip of his drink.
"No offense taken, if you would accept that your home is a sun forsaken snowball that refuses to melt." Bantered Seem in good nature. "You make a good point however. For this to work we need...heirs." She shuddered. Perhaps later in life children would be for her, but now as a young woman in her prime she entertained no such notion, and consumed a powerful contraceptive daily to prevent such a thing.
"Yes. Trade and alliance can be had either way, but to continue the line...Seem you know of my preferences. How am I to acquire such an heir? I will not let my brother take the throne. An outcome neither of us want I'm sure." With this Seem wholeheartedly agreed. The younger of the two lords was a violent and greedy man. War would be the first thing on his mind.
"So you come to me for consul?" She raised an eyebrow.
"Who better to glean advice about children then from my own fiancee?" He laughed playfully, his words seeming a little slurred. Now that she thought about it his face was looking red as well. At first Seem had assumed it was the heat but now...
"Razer...are you Drunk?" Seem incredulously asked. Razer stared at her for a moment, giggled, and passed out face down on the table.
"Uhh...maybe givin' him straight cactus juice wasn't such a good idea..." Her servant mumbled sheepishly.
"Daxter!" Seem scolded, drawing a hand over her face.
"What! I thought it would help make him more, you know, agreeable." The red head defended.
"And for that foresight, I thank you, but now how are we going to drag him to his rooms without anyone seeing? I highly doubt what ever guard he brought that waits outside will find this agreeable." Seem gave him an un-amused look when Daxter couldn't come up with an answer. Razer snored unhelpfully in his sleep.