Chapter 1
A Fish Out of Water
Raylan finished the task, and with Willa freshly diapered he headed back into the office, father and daughter both in a much better mood. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, spending a little time with his girl. Surely Winona had been kidding about being away 'a couple of days.' He didn't think she'd been away from the baby for more than a couple of hours since she was born.
He rapped his knuckles on Art's door. "Congratulations," he said, stepping inside. "How much didja win?"
"Twenty bucks," Art said, smiling. "She looks happier."
"Yeah," Raylan agreed. "Hey, look Art, I know it's not regulation, but can I just take her back to Monroe's? I got that inventory..."
"Are you out of your mind?" Art interrupted. "No. We can't be responsible. And, Winona finds out she'll kill you and then I'm short a Marshal. You're a pain in the ass, but being short-handed is worse."
"But I can't take her back to the bar. Winona wouldn't like that either."
Art rubbed his chin and leaned back in the chair. "Why don't you try out that fancy new hotel down the street? What's it called? I heard they have kitchenettes and everything."
Raylan sat, settling Willa on his lap. She reached out for the pen set near the edge of Art's desk.
"Unh-uh," Art said, wagging a finger. He moved the pens away.
"Gah!" Willa cried. Denied, she stuffed her fist into her mouth and drooled.
"Not a bad idea, I guess." He dipped his head, taking in the soft baby smell of his daughter. Then his head snapped up. "Shit."
"Watch it." Art looked at him reprovingly. "You don't want that to be her first word, do you?"
"I can't take her anywhere. I got no car seat, no crib...this has to be a bad joke. Winona's playin' me, isn't she? And you all are in on it." He craned his neck to look out through Art's office window. "She'll be back any minute."
Art shook his head. "No one is playing you, Raylan." He pulled a glossy pamphlet out of his drawer and slid it across the desk. The cover read Serendipity Retreat Spa and Salon and showed the beautiful, perfectly tanned back of a woman receiving a massage. "Winona and her sister are on their way to a spa weekend in Cincinnati. In fact, it's a belated baby gift from Judge Reardon's staff and all your friends in this very office."
Raylan picked up the paper. "What the hell?"
"Tsk-tsk. Again with the language."
"She's really gone?" His voice held disbelief and a hint of despair. Willa stretched her neck to look up at him.
"She'll be back on Sunday."
Raylan just sat there, stunned. In fact, he literally looked a little green around the gills. Art picked up his phone receiver out of the cradle.
"Tim, would you come in here? Thanks."
A moment later Tim came bounding in.
"Yeah, boss?"
"It seems Winona failed to leave Raylan the base for Miss Willa's car seat carrier. Would you go take a look at the underside of it and tell me who the manufacturer is? It's out there sittin' on top of Raylan's desk."
"Sure thing."
In less than a minute, he was back. "Safety 1st," he reported.
"Fine. Now, I need for you to go over to the Target store and pick up a Safety 1st rear-facing car seat base," Art said, scribbling down the information as he spoke. He passed the Sticky Note off to Tim. "Here, I wrote it down so you don't forget. Ask for help in the Baby Department if you need it. Or better yet …"
At the same time, Art and Tim both said, "… take Rachel with you."
Raylan remained seated, holding the baby, and watching his life unfold before his eyes as if he was the disinterested party he had been just an hour ago. The truth was, he was actually petrified with cluelessness about how to care for a little one.
"And while you're there, pick up a big pack of Huggies Little Snugglers. A Size 3 oughta do her, and a smaller package of the Overnight Huggies in the same size. And some more diaper wipes. Here, let me write all this down for you."
Raylan didn't understand a word Art said. Art appeared to be very well versed in this foreign baby language.
Art followed by writing it all down on another Sticky Note, reached into his wallet and peeled off ten twenty-dollar bills and handed them to Tim.
"Bring back the change," he bellowed. "It should cost far less than that. And I want the receipt. Don't go buyin' yourself lunch on me."
"Understood," Tim acknowledged with a smirk, as he'd been guilty of buying his lunch on his boss before.
After Tim was discharged to begin his mission, Art returned to his desk.
"Consider it a gift to little Willa here," Art spoke to Raylan referring to the money. "Now, you'd best be making that hotel reservation. They have cribs available at most hotels. Just ask when you make the reservation, or did you not know that?"
"No, Art," Raylan scoffed. "I did not know that."
Raylan then stood and handed Willa to Art so that his hands were free to take out his wallet and pull out a credit card to make the reservation.
"You really are new at this, aren't you?" Art asked, taking the baby. He was amazed at the depths of his marshal's cluelessness. "It's a good thing babies are more durable than they look."
Raylan went out to his desk to make the reservations, but first, he stopped by Nelson's.
"You wouldn't be available to help a fellow out in this situation with Willa, now would ya?" he asked.
"What do you mean?" Nelson asked.
Shifting his weight, Raylan continued, "I mean, could I pay you and your wife to watch little Willa for the next three days?"
Nelson, who would normally jump at the chance to place himself into Raylan's good graces truthfully answered, "I'd love to help you out, but I feel it's only right to warn you that my girls are home from school with head lice."
Raylan instinctively made a disgusted face and took a full step back away from his coworker's desk. The mere mention of the words made his scalp suddenly begin to itch.
"Yeah, uh, thanks for the warnin'" he said and headed back over to his desk.
At $105.00 a night for 3 nights at a mid-week rate and AAA Discount courtesy of the Marshal Service, the special rate seemed a little stiff to the man who didn't spend a whole lot of money. But then again, the thought occurred to him that he probably came out of this deal okay with Art buying the car seat base and all the diapers.
A little later, Art showed Raylan how to make and heat a bottle of the breast milk, and Raylan fed Willa and burped her for the first time with a little coaching from his boss. It went fairly well. Willa fell asleep before she finished her bottle, and Raylan carefully placed her in her carrier seat and strapped her in.
Then, Tim and Rachel returned bearing the haul from Target and the receipt and change for Art.
"Show him the bib you bought," Rachel said, smiling.
Proudly, Tim pulled the bib out of the bag and showed it to Raylan. It said, 'Daddy is a Dipstick' on the front of it.
"Nice," Raylan sneered. "I'm so happy I can amuse."
"Actually, I want to thank you," Tim said, grinning for ear to ear. "Due to your absence, I just found out I'm moving into the Monroe house with Rachel."
Losing his newly found, free, temporary, upscale digs to Tim was a stinging penalty for Winona's impromptu visit. "Well, good for you," Raylan sounded insincere. "And thank you for making the run to Target."
"You're welcome," he said with a wince. "But I didn't do it for you. I did it for the baby."
"Then, I thank you for my daughter," he said.
"She's welcome," Tim smiled. "Along those lines, toss me the keys to your Lincoln. Jimmy, the Security Guard assigned to the Courthouse graveyards over at the Shriner's Children's Hospital. He's part of their detail who correctly inspects the parent's car seats before the babies can be released when they're born. He said if I bring him the base, he'll make sure it's installed correctly.
"Thank you again, from Willa," Raylan reached in his pocket, retrieved his keys, and threw them to Tim.
"Don't thank me," he said. "It was Art's idea."
Tim left with the key and the Safety 1st box under his arm. That left Raylan and a sleeping Willa alone with Rachel.
Working on her computer, Rachel shook her head in disgust. "Gee, it's only been an hour, and you've already gotten Art to buy diapers, Tim's getting the car seat installed, and you tried to buy off Nelson to watch your kid."
"I didn't ask anyone to do anything," he shrugged, "well, except for Nelson. The rest is all on Uncle Art. But it was me who booked a hotel room at a nice place for the two of us, complete with a crib, and I fed and changed her for the very first time. What do you want from me? I'm tryin'."
Looking up from her screen, she answered with a deadpan stare. "What do you want from me? A cookie? You're Willa's daddy. You're supposed to do those things and a whole lot more."
"Are you mad at me for somethin'?" Raylan was sometimes slow on social cues directed at him.
"We've all watched you shirk your parental responsibilities for the past six months," she drew him a picture. "I just think it's time you cut the crap, stepped up, and started acting like the father you are. You have been given a wonderful gift in little Willa. It's about time you stop avoiding her, get to know her, and start to appreciate her."
"Maybe I have some of that comin'," Raylan let out a long sigh. "You certainly said it nicer than Winona would have."
"Oh, if you were the father of my child, neglecting my baby?" Rachel raised her eyebrows, "I'd kick your ass."
"Yes m'am," he said, backing off. A moment later, he sheepishly asked, "If anything happens in the next three days and I need you for somethin', can I call you?"
"No," she answered. Knowing how needy Raylan could be when he was tasked with doing something he didn't want to do, she said, "Figure it out for yourself."
"You can call me," Art bellowed, overhearing part of their conversation. "I'm just a phone call away."
"You worked all this out with Winona, didn't you?" Raylan pointed a long index finger at his boss. "Of course. It's the only way she would have left the baby with me … if you agreed to play backup."
"Raylan, I assured her that you are a capable man and are up to the task," he glared. "Neglecting our own children is not a characteristic I'm gonna foster out of any one of my marshals. We all deal with the ugly underbelly of humanity, every day. We see neglect and abuse and the product of irresponsible behavior up close. You have been actin' like a scared boy afraid to take responsibility in the care of his infant daughter. And there's no way to get over the fear than to dive right in. You've done fine so far today. It's like anything else, it just takes time and practice."
"But what if …" Raylan interrupted.
"What if … what?" Art interrupted him. "Life is full of 'what ifs.' You deal with them as they come along. Winona anticipated almost every 'what if' there is. Hell, she wrote you a book there in the diaper bag. Why don't you study it while you're waiting for Tim? And I'm around if you really need me."
After Art walked away, Raylan went to get himself a cup of coffee and returned to his desk. He peeked in at Willa, who was still peacefully sleeping, and pulled the notes Winona left him out of the diaper bag.
The number one tip I can give you is to nap when she naps. She likes to nap around 2:00 every afternoon for about 90 minutes. She wakes up on her own at about 8 in the morning and goes to sleep about 8 at night. She's a good little sleeper overnight.
Raylan glanced at the clock. It was 2:43 p.m. Right on schedule.
Bedtime routine consists of, in the following order: a bath, a bottle, burping, and I play some songs from a free Android App called "Lullabies Relax & Sleep." I advise you to download this into your phone and keep it on you to use at night. It soothes her.
Raylan clicked on the app icon on his phone and typed Lullabies into the search box. "Well, I'll be damned," he muttered when the app Winona suggested popped up. "Who thinks up this shit?" Still, it might come in handy. He clicked the download button and went back to reading.
DO NOT let her sleep with blankets. There are 2 sleep sacks in the diaper bag in case one gets dirty. They zip over a Onesie. These are safe, wearable blankets recommended by pediatricians.
Very important: PUT HER TO SLEEP ON HER BACK! SHE IS ONLY TO SLEEP IN A CRIB VOID OF TOYS, PILLOWS, BLANKETS, OR BUMPER PADS. JUST PUT HER ON HER BACK ON A STARK COVERED MATTRESS. NEVER PUT HER TO SLEEP IN A CRIB ON HER TUMMY OR HER SIDE!
All of these precautions are to prevent SIDS.
What about the monkey? Raylan thought. It looked to him like she loved that monkey. Didn't all babies sleep with some kind of stuffed animal? When did all this change?
She just started eating some solid food which is frozen in the diaper bag. Keep them frozen and thaw as needed. DO NOT HEAT THEM TOO HOT. Body temperature is best not to burn her little mouth. We're trying to encourage eating, not discourage eating. She eats solid food 3 times a day, fruits and veggies for now, for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Feed her slowly in her carrier seat. There are bibs in the bag. She can have a bottle in between and before bed.
Check her diaper every couple of hours and, of course, first thing in the morning. There is diaper cream in the bag if she starts to get red. And there is Tylenol, too, if she starts teething, drooling, but don't use it without checking with Art first. It's hard on the liver to use it too often or unnecessarily.
Tummy time once a day for about half an hour is very important to her development. Place the play mat out with the toys and put her on her tummy. Don't just walk away, Raylan. You have to watch her, so she doesn't tire and smother! She's building up her muscles to learn to roll over and eventually, crawl. She's working on it.
She likes to ride horsey on your knee. You can play peek-a-boo in her infant carrier, and she'll smile. And she loves for you to talk to her. She babbles. So sweet. You can tell her stories, but not the scary ones. And we're working on saying 'Ma-ma' and 'Da-da.' You can help her with that, too.
Most of all, love her, Raylan. She's the most wonderful baby in the world, and she's yours. If you want to be mad at me, be mad at me. But don't ever be angry with Willa. She's an innocent baby who knows nothing but love.
Call Art if you need him. He knows how to reach me.
W-
"Well, shit." Raylan shook his head in disbelief, suddenly remembering not to use his colorful language around the baby. There was so much to this. He could handle the bed time routine and changing the diapers. He got the bottle down. But all these important details! They would have to take it one step at a time.
He glanced at the clock and decided to re-read the instructions one more time before Willa woke up.
A little while later, Tim returned.
"Okay, you're all set. I can show you how to snap her seat in the Reverse position, and you can be on your way."
"Alright," Raylan let out a deep sigh.
Ready or not, he collected the diaper bag and carrier with a sleeping Willa inside. Tim grabbed the diapers and wipes, and to the parking lot they all went with Uncle Art waving from this glass, fishbowl office.
(To be continued …)