Hello! I'd like to thank all of the support I've received in the comments to continue writing this fic. You guys really motivated me to write another chapter! I hope you guys like this chapter! Enjoy!
"Amnesia?" I ask as I run my hands through my hair and look over to Usagi-san still talking to Takahiro in the room.
"It appears so. He must've smacked his head pretty hard if he was able to completely forget you. He's due for surgery tomorrow for his punctured lung and will be kept in the hospital for another week. I say come around a few times and take a stroll down memory lane with him, try to get him to remember. During that time his mind should recuperate, and gain back some memories," Doctor Tachibana says and rests his on my shoulder, "I'm sure everything will be okay. His mind is still in shock from the whole accident. Give it a few days and all we can hope is that it's not permanent."
"Thank you doctor," I say and nod my head.
"Buzz the nurse if you guys need anything," he says and leaves to the room next to us.
I stand there for a moment, and lean against the wall next to the room and close my eyes. He's forgotten me. He remembers nii-chan, but not me. What if this is permanent? Could we even have the same relationship we had before?
"Misaki?" I hear my name be called and I'm pulled out of my own thoughts to see Kasuma-san.
"Hi," I say and I see his lips drop from a smile.
"I thought he was awake? Hiro-san told me he got a call from the hospital. He told me to check on him," he says and I nod my head.
"He's awake, but he's suffering from amnesia and he doesn't remember me," I say.
"Oh," he says and leans against the wall next to me, "You guys aren't just roommates, are you?"
"No, we aren't" I say and hang my head.
"Well it's not always permanent," he says.
"Doctor Tachibana already told me. They have no idea if it is or not," I say.
"I'm sure it will all work out. I need to head back to my own patients now. See you around Takahashi-kun," he says and walks down the hall to the elevators.
I look back the room and see my brother and Akihiko still talking. There's something in Usagi-san's eyes as he stares at my brother, it's the look he gave him before he became my tutor. Lust. Love.
I hear footsteps coming towards me and I look to see Papa Usagi making his way over to Akihiko's room.
"I got a call from the doctor that he's up. How is he?" he asks rushing past me.
"Wait!" I yell out to him before he turns the knob to Usagi's door.
"What?"
"He has amnesia," I whisper, but Papa Usagi hears me and walks over to where I'm standing, "He doesn't remember the past year that I've spent with him. It's like I haven't been in his life at all."
"Oh, well this is interesting. Then I guess now it would be best if you made your way out of his life. If he obviously doesn't remember you, you should let him be. Let my son get a new start on life, and maybe he'll find someone more suiting," he says and I'm at a loss for words.
"What about your apology?"
"Well, I assumed my son would remember the one he clearly loved when he'd wake up. Just get out of the way for Akihiko, he doesn't need to worry about a kid ten years his senior while he's focusing on his career," he says and looks into the room, "Besides it seems his love for your older brother has rekindled."
"How did you know about that?" I ask.
"I've kept a close watch on my son Misaki. Obviously it's one-sided since he is married, but I'd rather have him love someone not interested than a person who shows his love half-assed and break his heart."
"I've told you before, my love for your son is not half-assed! I'm just disappointed that he has to remember you rather than me!" I yell and I earn a few glances from nurses and other patients.
"I think you need to remember who you're talking to. Collect your brother and leave here. Don't speak to my son and don't get in his way," he says raising his voice back.
I walk past him and go inside the room and I look to Usami-chichi watching my every move.
"Takahiro we should be leaving," I state and now they have their attention on me.
"But I haven't gotten to know you yet Misaki," Usagi says in his deep voice and my heart aches.
"We should have tea sometime then. Maybe when you're out of this place."
"That sounds great. You're brother told me we were flat mates before my accident. I'd like to apologize for not remembering," he says and I try to hold back my tears.
"Well, I think I should be moving out anyways," I say before even thinking. Am I really letting Usagi-chichi get to me? Maybe it is best for him to find someone more suited for his social class. But how can I just sit here and remember everything we've done and yet he has no recollection. I don't know if I'd be able to love someone other than Usagi. That's right. I truly love this old, stupid man.
"Are you sure?" my brother asks.
"Yeah," I reply. No! I want to stay with Usagi-san.
"I'll just stay with Sumi-senpai for the time being while I search for an apartment," I state. What am I saying?
"Alright, I can help you find an apartment while I'm here," my brother offers.
"I'll be fine. Like I said before though, we should be going," I mention again and Takahiro nods his head.
"Goodbye Takahiro," Usagi-san says and gives him a warm smile before turning to me and putting out his hand.
"It was nice meeting you again Misaki. I look forward to tea," he says and I grasp his hand. I crave the warmth that emanates from it. I miss the way his hands traveled on my body and ruffled my hair. When we let go my palm goes cold and I wish to have entwined my fingers with his and hoped that he would've remembered me.
"Nice meeting you again too, Usami-san. Good luck with your surgery tomorrow and I wish you a good recovery," I say and bow to him.
"Thank you. Get home safely you two," he says and Takahiro gives him a final wave goodbye before we leave the room.
I come face-to-face with Usagi-chichi again, "He's all yours," I say with a hint of anger in my voice.
"Goodbye Misaki," he says and enters the hospital room. I take a final glance through the window and I see Usagi's lips in a frown as his father sits at the foot of his bed. I shouldn't think this, but I wish Usagi forgot his father and brother. The ones that cause true pain and irritation to him.
"Should we get an early dinner somewhere? We really didn't have lunch," Takahiro says as we enter the elevator and pushes the floor button. I have a sinking feeling the lower we go as each floor dings and the farther away I am from Usagi.
"Could we maybe stop at Usami-san's home first? Just so I can grab a bag of clothes," I say.
"That's fine. I haven't said this yet, but I'm sorry about Akihiko forgetting you. I'm sure you guys had a good friendship. But, I am happy you've decided to live on your own. I don't know how he'll do it again, but I'm glad you're becoming an adult," Nii-chan says and I nod my head.
"Yeah," I say absently and the final ding for our floor sounds and we exit the elevator and then the hospital.
On the train, I sit next Takahiro and remember the times I've ridden on it with Usgai, but I also remember when I helped both his father and brother. I regret ever doing it now. If I hadn't, his family would've never known about me. I would be in that hospital right now, grasping Usagi's hand and telling him about our past year. But, of course there is my conscience nagging me, telling me that I'm a bother to him, that I'm holding him back from true happiness. I'll never understand Usagi because of our age difference, that this whole accident was my fault.
I unlock the front door to Akihiko's apartment, and it's still the same way I left it. I hurry upstairs and check his marimo and tend to them. I'm sure he'll be glad to seem them still alive, even though he won't remember how he obtained them when we went to Hokkaido. I head out of the room and look over the balcony to Nii-chan sitting on the couch watching some TV drama.
I go into my room next and pull out my large duffel bag. I begin loading my clothes into it and thankfully I don't have that much. As I clear out my closet and drawers I see the suits Akihiko purchased for me. I guess I should just leave them here, but I do grab the first grey suit he bought me for that night we went out on our first date. I zip up my bag and notice that I still have some room left. I leave my room to Akihiko's and grab two of his own t-shirts and one of his bears. I at least want to have something of his to cling onto. Is that creepy? Yes. Do I care right now? Not really.
I stuff the shirts and bear into my bag and I shut my door for the last time in the Akihiko residence. I wish I wasn't like this. Always believing I'm a burden to everyone, but ever since mom and dad's death I don't think I'll ever be able to help it. I guess it will be best, besides, two men being together is unacceptable. I don't even know how my brother would react. Maybe I'll just live alone forever.
"Nii-chan are you ready?" I yell as I descend the stairs.
"Yeah, let's go," he smiles and looks down to my bag, "Is that everything?"
"Yup, I really don't have a lot of clothes," I shrug my shoulders and then pull out the key to the apartment, "Guess I should leave this here."
I set the small key on the table and lock the door form the inside as we exit. I walk out of the apartment building and look up to the top floor, leaving behind everything just because of his father.
"I say we eat at that family restaurant we used to when we were younger," Takahiro says.
"Okay. I could go for something warm," I say and pat my stomach.
"Alright then," he says with a grin and we walk the few blocks to the restaurant.
"I remember coming here with mom and dad. It's so weird now," I say and Takahiro nods his head.
"Yeah. You still don't blame yourself do you?" he suddenly catches me off guard with that question, "You have to know it wasn't your fault Misaki. I just don't want it to affect your future relationships."
"I know," is all I say. I don't think it will ever change. I will always blame myself for the accident. I will always consider myself a burden, even if I know I'm not. This is why I'm not with Usagi now.
I end up ordering some udon noodle soup and Nii-chan orders some fried fish. We both eat in silence, dwelling on the past day. From Nii-chan arriving at the train station to Akihiko waking up without any recollection of me.
"Since he woke up today, I may leave here tomorrow. I got an email from Riko and she's coming home early also. Apparently she has some important news for me," he smiles. It must be nice to go home to someone you love. It also hurts, since the one I love is in love with Takahiro.
"That's fine, I'll phone Sumi-senpai when we get back to the hotel," I say and shovel soup in my mouth.
I lean back in my chair and pat my stomach a final time, "Nii-chan! I'm so full!"
"You're also drunk," he says pulling my beer away.
"Maybe you shouldn't take things that don't belong to you," I say spitefully, but I'm sure he just assumes my alcohol. I reach across the table to take it back, but he hands it to the closest waiter.
"Why do you have to do that? Just let me drink. I need it or else I won't be able to sleep," I whine and rest my head on the table.
"I don't even know why I let you drink. And what do you mean you won't be able to sleep?"
"Last night I stayed up worrying about Usagi," I say slurring my words.
"Usami-san you mean?" he asks.
"Yeah, that stupid, old man," I reply.
"You should respect him. He took you into his apartment with open arms," he snaps.
"I wonder why!" I say much louder, earning a few stares.
"Keep it down!" Nii-chan whispers, "Just stay here while I go pay for the check."
I do as he says and stay in my seat with my head on the table. I'm a drunken, heartbroken mess in the middle of a family restaurant.
"Come on you idiot," I fell an arm hook through mine and I'm pulled out of my chair. I look up expecting to see Usagi-san, but I'm disappointed when it's my brother.
"I can walk by myself," I say pushing him away.
"You're a terrible drunk," my brother points out.
"I'm well aware!" I say and I take in a deep breath of the cool night air as we exit outside.
I stagger behind my brother on the walk to the train station and I end up falling asleep on the train to the hotel, only to be rudely awakened by my brother before our stop.
"Have you sobered up yet?"
"A little," I say, "I could go for some water though."
"I'm sure," Takahiro says with an airy laugh.
"I should call Sumi-senpai before it's too late," I say and whip out my phone.
"Hello?" he answers.
"Hi! So Sumi-senpai, I was wondering if I could stay at your house for a few days. I'm looking for an apartment."
"Ah that's right I heard Akihiko was in an accident. How is he doing? Does he need some cheering up?"
"No, he doesn't. So can I stay or not? I'll explain everything later," I demand.
"Yeah it's fine, come on by tomorrow," he says.
"Thank you, see you tomorrow," I say and hang up the phone.
"Well at least that's handled," I say while leaning my head back as the train comes to a stop at our station. I stand up with a minor headache, but I still feel the alcohol in my bloodstream.
I follow my brother into the hotel room and then throw myself onto my bed, while he places my bag on the luggage stand. I kick off my shoes, forgetting to do so at the door and snuggle up under the covers fully clothed.
"Goodnight," I say sleepily and suddenly doze off.
I awake, expecting to see the illuminated galaxy stickers on the ceiling and Akihiko sleeping next to me, but the ceiling is bare and the pillow next to me is cold. I kick the heavy covers off my body and head to the bathroom to splash some water on my face. I head back out and sit on the bed, cracking open a water bottle to help with my dehydration. I turn to the clock and it's one-in-the-morning and I know I won't be able to fall back asleep. I get up and slip my shoes back on and quietly close the door behind me.
My hands find their way into my front pockets and I just walk away from the Teito Hotel. Soon enough my feet take me to the train and I already know where I'm taking myself. Usagi.
I get off the train and the brisk morning air stings my face as I exit the station and come to the front of the hospital. The hospital is empty except for the nurses and doctors bustling around to different patient rooms. I hit the floor number to Usagi-san's room in the elevator and I'm hoping to just sit in there with him, I don't even care if we talk. I want to feel his hand in mine, to know that he's still okay.
The doors open and I walk to the nurse's station where a nurse is scribbling something down on a document. I slightly clear my throat to get her attention and her head whips up to look at me.
"Can I help you? Visiting hours are closed right now, only immediate family can go in," she says directing her attention back to the document.
"I am Usami, Akihiko's boyfriend," I say nonchalantly, but the nurse seems so surprised, "Can you make an acceptation?"
"I'm not really supposed to, but since it is so late and no one will really notice, sure," she says sweetly.
"Thank you so much, and if you don't mind, could you keep the whole gay thing a secret. You see Usami-san is a famous author and this could ruin his career," I say.
"Of course. My lips are sealed," she smiles and I continue past her to Usagi-san's room.
I look through the small window and see him sleeping, but I then see a small, empty cot next to his bed. I enter the room quietly and walk towards Akihiko making sure I don't disturb him. Next to the cot is Usagi-chichi's briefcase. He must be staying here, making sure I don't do things like this and visit him at night. I guess I better make this quick before he comes back.
I grasp Usagi's hand and I push back some of his hair before placing a light kiss on his forehead. He slightly stirs, but I know after living with him for a year, he could sleep through anything. I place another kiss on his knuckle before setting his hand back on his chest and leaving his room. I give the nurse another nod and as the doors close to the elevator, I see Usagi-chichi walk back into Usagi's room, knowing full well this is the last time I'll see Usagi-san in the hospital.
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Please comment and review and tell me if you guys like where this whole fic is going! I also want to start writing in dual point of views, every couple of chapters or so I would switch to Akihiko and then Misaki. I hope you guys like it, because I enjoy writing this fic! Talk to you all next time!