I have been absolutely stunned at the feedback, reviews, favs and alerts this story and as a result the original story has had. Amazed in fact. So I thought I better warn you, this chapter is more angsty but also more sexy than the last chapter, hence the M rating. There's some tough talks to have with various people! To my wonderful beta reader Erynnar who rocks (as do her stories 'The First cut is Always the Deepest', 'Soulmates' and 'Whispering Sighs of the Blade') Thank you so much for fitting it in your v. busy schedule!

Chapter 2: Uncomfortable Truths

'The truth is rarely pure and never simple.' Oscar Wilde

Teagan

'You did what?' Eamon's face was red with anger and he sat up in bed, moving the estates papers out of the way.

'Lydia Cousland is carrying my child. Our child.' Teagan heard his voice so chill and tight. His brother may only have been seven years older than his thirty eight years, but Eamon still had a way of making him feel like a child. He would not be talked down to on this matter.

'I see. Would it have killed you to have waited? After all, you've slept with enough whores in your time and managed not to knock them up. So why Lydia?' Eamon scoffed.

'Brother!' His voice rose 'You go too far. Do not speak of Lydia as if she were a common prostitute!' Teagan stood from sitting next to Eamon's bed and stared out of the window, his back to his brother.

'Then why treat her as if she were one?' Teagan heard him sweep the papers off the bed and onto the floor.

'She was upset about Isolde and had to defend her stance to Alistair. We talked and, well –'

'One thing led to another. How very noble of you.' Eamon's voice was bitter. Teagan heard his brother snort and anger flared up in his chest. He turned to face his brother remembering past conversations, motives allowed to fester far too long.

'Don't go there. I still remember what you told me when you first met Isolde. You're no innocent.' As soon as the words were out of Teagan's mouth he regretted them.

His brother had moved to the edge of the bed with his feet on the floor and at mention of his wife's name, he sagged as if hit in the chest. Teagan rubbed his face with both hands and tried to lose the angry edge to his voice.

'Eamon, it was not so long ago you wanted me to marry Lydia.'

Eamon's face was lined with worry and pain. 'Marry her, yes but not impregnate her with a bastard child!'

'Eamon, enough please. This child will not be a bastard.'

Eamon narrowed his eyes, his gaze falling on his brother. 'So you're going to marry her? Then I'll let you explain to the Revered Mother why your bride-to-be has a swollen belly! Do not expect me to be there while you trample the Guerrin name to dust.'

Teagan took a last look at his brother and walked out of the bedroom, slamming the door on the way out.

#=#=#

Alistair

Alistair and the rest of the group had been sat round the large fireplace in the Great Hall after lunch. They were due to have another day of rest and to move on the following day or at least that's what Lydia said. Alistair had the dog's head on his knee and was absent-mindedly scratching the dog behind the ears while Angus closed his eyes.

Alistair wasn't stupid; he knew something was going on. Lydia was still a good leader but at night she barely spoke to him anymore. He used to have a close friend who was a grey warden. They would talk at night by the fire, watching the embers die down. Now she barely wanted to spend time in his company, it was always Leliana or Wynne she was with. He'd never been so lonely since he was first at the Chantry. He knew it was something to do with Teagan. That train of thought led to the memory of Teagan kissing her the last time they'd left Redcliffe. How he'd kissed her. He knew Teagan and Lydia had slept together the night that Isolde died and last night as well. That's when he realised the palm of his left hand was hurting because he had been digging his nails in. Jealousy is such an ugly word but I can't help the way I feel for her, he thought. The previous night he had gone to Redcliffe tavern and got so steaming drunk that Leliana and Zevran had dragged him back to the castle. The headache was still with him, a reminder that he made a miserable drunk.

He glanced at Lydia and she seemed nervous, unlike the woman he'd grown to care about. He caught her eye and smiled slightly and she immediately turned away from him and said to the group, 'Can I have your attention please?' She had a commanding presence when she was leading them and the group had such respect for her that when she asked that they listen, they did. Another reason she's the group leader and not me.

'I have something to tell you and there's no easy way to say this.' Alistair watched as she made sure they were all listening to her. 'I'm pregnant.'

He felt as though he had lost the ability to breathe while the group either congratulated her or looked on in astonishment or scorn, in the case of Sten. Alistair watched the group as if he weren't in his own body, as if he were a distant spectator. She's gone, he thought. With that thought, he had the impression of him rushing back into his own body and thought he would collapse with the intensity of all the sensations he felt. Maker's breath, he wasn't sure what to do but he had to do something and now. In one fluid movement he stood, grabbing her arm and almost wrenching her out of the chair.

'A word. In private.'

'Alistair, be careful!' He heard Wynne exclaim.

'No, Wynne I'm fine.' Lydia met his eyes, her expression of understanding nearly stopping him. Don't lose the anger, he thought.

Alistair dropped her arm and motioned towards the door that he'd seen Lydia and Teagan disappear through the night before. The irony was not lost on him. They walked out on the balcony, Alistair slamming the door behind him.

'Don't expect congratulations, you'll get none from me!' He bellowed.

'Alistair, please don't take this badly.' She pleaded.

'Take this badly! How else do you want me to take it? The only other grey warden in all of Ferelden is with child during a Blight.' He dragged a hand through his hair in an irritated movement.

'Alistair, I didn't plan for this to happen. I didn't wish for this to happen but now it has, I want this child. And so does Teagan.'

A sickness overtook him, bile rising in his throat. He had known since Ostagar that Lydia was the woman he wanted to be with. This was the last thing he wanted to hear.

'And what about this large dragony-type Archdemon thing we have to kill?' Alistair was waving his arms to emphasise his point and stuttering in his anger. 'Or in your attempt to play happy families with Teagan, had you forgotten about that?'

Lydia walked over to the stone bench and sat heavily down.

'And then there's the Taint. That may affect the child and no-one knows in what way. Just when were you going to tell him about that, hmm?' He saw her eyes fill with tears. That had obviously hit home.

'I am going to tell him as soon as I can.' Her voice was hesitant and low, eyes down.

Alistair turned away from Lydia, not wanting to see the pain in her face. He had to ask. 'You slept with him the night after Isolde was killed, yes?'

'Not that it's any of your damn business but yes.' He heard her sound of disgust and the hard words she shot back at him. 'I seem to recall a certain ex-templar was too busy yelling at me to bother being my friend.'

Her words stung and he caught the stone rail to steady himself.

'I don't understand. Why?' How was he to explain the way he thought about Lydia without leaving himself vulnerable?

The next thing he knew she was stood next to him. 'Not everything in life is black and white, Alistair. As much as you would love to believe it, I am not a whore for seeking comfort in another man's arms.' He looked at her and her large hazel eyes held pity for him, which hurt him more than physical violence could ever do.

She put her hand on his arm and his skin prickled under her touch.

'You have been there for me, Alistair. Please, don't back out on me now.'

Hearing her whisper, his heart beat faster. Clearing his throat, he said. 'I'm still your friend but you know that Teagan has a past? I'm concerned that he will...leave you.'

'Leave me?' She pulled her hand away from him, 'Teagan has promised to stay with me, with us. That's all I can ask of him.'

He had to say something before the moment was gone forever. Alistair put his finger gently under her chin and lifted it so she was looking in his eyes. 'If that had been me and you, I would have married you, no matter what.' The tears that had been threatening to overwhelm her since they started to talk began to roll down her cheeks. Alistair kissed Lydia softly on the forehead, a kiss between friends, he told himself. He wrapped his arms round her, stroking her hair while she cried hopelessly into his chest.

#=#=#

Lydia

Lydia was sat on the stone bench when it started to rain. Alistair had left not long before and she wanted time to be by herself, a precious commodity in camp and castle. She sighed and looked out towards Redcliffe, remembering the fight in the town a few months earlier that she had led. She had been scared then, but adrenaline and instinct kicked in. She knew what needed to be done and made sure her party knew what part each of them had to play. It was the same at the Circle of Magi, fighting the maleficar and when they retrieved the Urn of Sacred Ashes. She was a decent leader and she organised their party well, even if she said so herself.

She put her hand on her belly. The babe would be barely the size of her thumbnail at this point yet she was so scared of this child growing inside her. Like her parents deaths, it was something she had no control over. Her eyes filled with tears again when she thought of her parents dying. They had wanted her and Teagan to be together but not like this. Despite what Teagan had said, this was her fault. If she had not asked for his company that night, none of this would have happened.

'Lydia, what are you doing out here?' Teagan sat next to her and put a hand in hers. He rubbed his thumb up the centre of her palm and she shivered slightly.

'I needed some time to think.'

'In the rain?' He plucked the cotton shirt on her arm and that was when she noticed how transparent it had become, how drenched she was.

'Well, it seemed logical at the time.' Lydia half-smiled and shrugged. Teagan laughed.

'So do you want to say what you were thinking about or do I have to use my own torturous methods on you?' He smiled at her, a sexy come-on that gave her butterflies in her stomach.

'I was wondering... Are we doing the right thing?' She knew the answer but needed to hear it from him.

His brown eyes gazed at her 'You mean with the baby? I think we are.'

He hesitated a moment then asked, 'How did your talk with Alistair go?'

'He told you?' Lydia asked. He nodded.

'It could have gone better. And your talk with your brother?' Lydia watched him glance down at their hands joined together.

'That also could have gone better than it did. In fact, had he been a younger man I would have hit him for some of the things he said.' She could hear the anger in his voice, didn't need to look at him to see his rage with Eamon.

'Sorry Teagan, I never meant for this to happen.' She said gently.

'Lydia, this is not the way I wanted things to be between us but now this has happened, I –'

She interrupted.

'Don't say or promise anything unless you truly mean it.' She wasn't sure where that came from but she didn't want him to feel pressured into anything.

He sounded angry when he spoke

'Do you think I pity you? Makers breath, Lydia. I didn't fall out with my brother only to have you shove me away as well!' His anger peaked and he let out a breath.

'Oh Teagan! I'm not rejecting you; I just didn't want you to feel you were being forced into having a child with me purely down to society's expectations.' They both knew what noble 'society' would expect from them and although they had their families' names, the situation they found themselves in was not a normal one.

'I'm sorry my dear, sweet Lydia. My anger is with my brother and not you. As he has said many times over the years, no-one can make me do anything I don't want to do.' Teagan lifted their entwined hands to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. She shivered but this time it had more to do with the cold rain.

'Come on, you need to get changed out of your wet clothes.' He stood up and Lydia followed.

She faced him and playfully said 'You're always desperate to get me out of my clothes!'

'This time I have a good reason, you wilful woman!' She let go of his hand and moved forward, her hands on his chest. With the wet shirt under her fingertips, she heard his breathing catch in his throat as her a finger roamed over his nipple. Moulding her body to his, she put a hand on the back of his neck as she kissed his lips, grazing her teeth against his lips. She knew exactly how vulnerable she could make him from their few times together. She used her hip bone and pressed against his erection. That was obviously his breaking point.

'Makers breath, will you not give up?' He looked at her, lust in his eyes.

'Never.' Her hands roamed round his narrow waist and under his shirt rubbing her nails against his skin.

'You always go for the skin before me.' His voice was husky as her nails kept roaming and scratching his skin.

'Not last night I didn't. I seem to recall someone not too far away pushing me up against the wall and stripping me before I had time to blink!'

'That was different. It had been two months since I'd seen you and with you making me wait all day... .'

'Then perhaps I should make you wait again.' Lydia pulled her hands away from his body and he caught a hand, pulling her towards the door.

A few minutes later, Lydia sat in his room, wet clothes hanging to dry next to the fire and a dressing gown on.

'You've had the good sense to get out of your clothes already, I see.' Teagan had some towels and a hairbrush in his hand. He handed her the brush.

'Did Leliana give you this?' she asked, weighing up the brush. He nodded. She would know exactly why Teagan would need it and as Leliana had problems keeping things to herself, Lydia would have nothing but knowing looks from the group. Andraste's holy knickers, with today's announcement she would be getting nothing but knowing looks for months to come. She began to brush her soaking hair, holding it at the top in one hand and dragging the brush down with the other.

'Here, let me.' Teagan used the towel gently drying her hair, rubbing her hair slowly down the mane in his hand and over her head, massaging her scalp with his fingers as he went.

'That's lovely.' She said after a few minutes 'but it's not getting you out of your wet shirt and trousers.'

He kissed her on the side of her face moving to kiss her lips.

'I was more concerned with the mother of my child not catching a fever.' He put his hand to her stomach.

Lydia's stomach flipped when he said 'mother of my child' but tried to ignore it for now. That was something to keep hold of when Teagan was not there with her, on those lonely nights on the road.

'Your kind concern is duly noted ser, but you'll not be any good to the people of Rainsfere or Arl Eamon if you're ill as well.' Lydia quickly tied her hair into a long plait over one shoulder and saw him grimace at the mention of his brother but loosened the laces on the top of his shirt and pulled it over his head. She never got used to his muscular torso, something that wasn't obvious when he was clothed.

His fingers moved to the waistband of his trousers and she touched him on the top of the arm.

'Allow me.' She ran her fingers down the line of chest hair leading to his waist and knelt down in front of him. She unlaced his trousers, pulling them broadside and pushing them down over his narrow hips. They fell to the floor and he stepped out of them. That was when she noticed that he was erect again. It hadn't taken him long. She grabbed a towel from the bed and he looked mildly disappointed when she stood back up again.

'You now have more on than me. I intend to remedy that.' He said lasciviously as he took the towel from her, putting it over his shoulder. He deftly untied the dressing gown and pushed her gown over each shoulder as she let it fall to the floor. His fingers expertly found the end of her breast band and quickly unwrapped her body. She gasped when he rubbed a calloused thumb across her reddened nipple. She knew her breasts were more sensitive but had not realised just how much until his touch against them. While he was distracted, she stole the towel from his shoulder.

'I think it's time for you to get dried off, don't you think?' She began to rub the towel over the top half of his body, letting the towel glance against his nipples now and then. She moved further down his body, drying his legs, thighs and the sensitive skin at the top of the thighs and between his legs. She heard him moan slightly as she rubbed his enclosed penis with her hand.

'I think you should take this off.' She put a finger under the band of his small clothes and seemingly accidentally, brushed the head of his penis with her finger.

'You're a cruel woman, Lydia.' His voice was low but he did as she commanded and pulled them off, revealing his erection fully.

She knew she was getting wet already and although she still felt slightly sore from the previous night, she didn't care. Even though he accused her of being cruel, she was no tease. She knelt in front of him and put her hand round the base. Using her tongue, she began lapping slowly at the head of his penis. She felt him trying to push her head further down.

'Patience, Teagan. It's my way or you get nothing at all.' She said in a low strong voice. She knew it turned him on as he throbbed against her hand.

'Not fair.' He looked seriously at her but his eyes were smiling at her.

She smiled as she took the top of his head into her mouth, still licking round the edge. Pushing her hand slowly up and down, she took him further in. Her teeth grazed against the head and she heard his growl.

'Please, I want you.'

She stood in front of him, pushing him down on the edge of the bed. She hooked both thumbs under her small clothes, pulling them down and kicking them off.

He held a hand out to her, pulling her close. He put his arms round her and said 'Beautiful, you are absolutely..' he whispered, taking a breast greedily into his mouth flicking her nipple with his tongue. She gasped at the intensity of teeth and tongue, turning her on so much. She moved his legs closer together and moving a leg around him, she perched on him. They kissed as he entered her, his length still a shock. She used her leg on the ground to give her purchase as they moved together. He stopped and she tried to carry on but he pushed her down, grinding into her.

'Why have you stopped?' Lydia asked.

'Because it's my turn to be in control.' Teagan kissed her, biting her lips and hearing her moans of pleasure. He moved to her nipples, sucking hard. He moved a hand between their bodies to where they joined. He felt her core and moved backwards and forwards across it roughly with his thumb. That was too much for Lydia and she came, not caring who heard her cries. When Teagan felt her muscles contract, it was not long before he groaned and climaxed. They stayed that way for a moment, their bodies wrapped round each other before Teagan pulled her down on the bed.

'You exhaust me Lydia.' Teagan said, kissing her on the mouth.

'I forget I'm with a much older man.'

'Enough of the much older. I'm fifteen years older than you.'

'You could have been my husband.' she laughed.

'I still could be.' Teagan looked at her and he saw her eyes fill with tears.

'Teagan, there's something you should know about grey warden's. Something that could affect this child.'

#=#=#

Teagan

The velvet blue night sky shone with stars as Teagan sat on the window seat in his bedroom. He was wide awake and unable to sleep. He heard Lydia's breathing as she slept on her side, facing towards him. There had been moments he thought she was awake, watching him but she slept quietly, not noticing his absence from the bed. He knew she was exhausted. It had been a long two days for both of them. And today had been especially wearying, with the conversations they'd both had about their relationship and the child she was expecting. She needed to tell the group, so they could protect her from being attacked. Meanwhile, Teagan wished he had not told his brother, especially so soon after Isolde's death but he didn't want Eamon to find out by accident. Not long after he awoke, he had gone to get a cup of tea from the kitchens and as he walked past Eamon's room, a sliver of light was present under his door. For one wild moment he got the urge to knock on his door, see if his brother awake as well, just to talk to him. But he knew that if Eamon was awake, their talk would have been part of the reason for his brother's insomnia. He didn't want to start another row, so he continued down to the kitchen.

Then there had been the conversation he had with Lydia, about her being a grey warden. He knew she was holding something back but he knew that theirs was a clandestine organisation and as such she would be sworn to protect their secrets. He was surprised about her having the taint and her shortened lifespan but how long any of them would live if this was a Blight and the grey wardens could not stop it were unknown. They, like many other people whose relationships started during a war situation, would have to take each day as it comes. None of them knew what the future would hold. Lydia was also concerned that the taint would affect the health of the child or prevent her from carrying to full term, but she had only been a warden for a few months and she was young and strong. He had a gut feeling that the taint would be the least of their problems.

'Teagan?' She sounded scared, he noticed. Her eyes were open and had yet to adjust to the darkness.

'Lydia, I'll get back into bed.' He lay down next to her and she put an arm round him and her head on his chest.

'I thought you'd gone. I had a... dream.' Lydia's voice sounded so young to him. Her family dead or missing, she now had no-one to lean on. Everyone leant on her.

Teagan stroked the hair from her face.

'Gone? Never! And where would I go? We're in my room, remember?' He gave a low throaty chuckle, kissing her forehead.

'I dreamt that we had the conversation about the taint and you left me.' He was sure he heard tears in her voice. He moved her off his chest and lit a candle, using a splint on the fire burning low in the grate.

'What are you up to, Teagan?' Despite her dream wrought fears, she sounded vaguely amused.

'Patience Lydia. You told me I needed patience before. Now it's your turn.'

He walked over to the chest of drawers next to the door. On top of the drawers a small wooden box stood. He opened the box, took something out and closed the lid. Sitting back on the bed, he opened the palm of his hand. There sat a gold ring, tarnished but beautiful.

'This was my mother's eternity ring. My father gave it to her when she was pregnant with me.' He looked at her earnest face, trying to comprehend exactly what he was trying to tell her. He picked up her left hand and placed the ring on her middle finger.

'Teagan, I really can't accept this!' She began to pull at the ring on her finger. Teagan stopped her by putting his hand over hers.

'I am promising you that I won't leave you and our child to be alone and this is my way of reassuring you.' He put his arm round her and she leant into him again.

'I didn't ask for your mother's ring, I just wanted to hear you tell me you'd be there for me, for us.'

'I know you didn't but it will probably be weeks before I see you again. When things become difficult, when I can't be there to hold you, think of me. I will certainly be thinking of you.' He kissed her lips, felt her tears flow and knew he had done the right thing.

#=#=#

As they drifted off to sleep, his arm round her waist, Lydia asked 'Are you still awake?'

'Vaguely.' He said sleepily.

'I wanted to tell you thank you for the ring. It's gorgeous.' She whispered.

'You're welcome.'

She paused, trying to think of how to say what she had to tell him next. A few minutes later, she whispered

'I also wanted to tell you.. I love you.'

She held her breath as he snored in return.