Sorry that I keep changing this, I keep realizing parts I need to add or change genders or something so that the story will go the way I want it to. Thanks for putting up with them!
The next few classes were even more boring than Matthew had previously thought possible. He made a couple of acquaintances, but the trio from chemistry wasn't in any other of his classes in the morning. He was somewhat ashamed to be glad that he didn't have to put up with his annoying cousin and his constant prying eyes. If Francis was going to bring up Alfred and running away for the entire year, he might as well give up because Matthew wouldn't say anymore on either of the subjects. Aside from Francis, the rest of the trio didn't seem so bad. Now if only he can get them to remember him... Finally the bell rang, signalling lunch. Matthew walked out of his classroom and joined the flood of kids rushing to the cafeteria.
I walk into the cafeteria and it immediately amazes me how many kids there were here. So many opportunities to kill, Matthew.I wince at the voice in my head. No! I won't go there! I slowly sift through the students, searching for the distinct trio. I finally find them surrounded by students of all ages. It seemed like a very diverse group, if looks were anything to go by.
"Matthieu! Over here!" Francis shouted. I sighed. At least someone remembered me. I walked over to the table and dutifully say my hellos. Francis made me sit next to him so he can "protect" me. I don't particularly like my cousin, but he was one of many reasons why I ran away in seventh grade. I can't stand to see those I love in pain, and that's why I left. I gave a harsh laugh at my thoughts.
"See where that got you Matthew." I muttered to myself. "Now he's dead and it's all your fault." I remember it so clearly... No! This can't happen at school! Especially not on my first day! Every time I remember his death, I end up screaming bloody murder! And at school, too... No, I have to snap out of it! I was there, helpless as my other self killed my twin... I can't take it! I can't breathe! Help me someone!
"Mattie, Mattie, Mattie! Why'd you run away? I followed you 'cause I'm the hero, and that's what heroes do! Mattie, are you alright? Mama and Papa miss you! You should totally come back with me and it would be totally cool! I miss having you at home! Well not really 'cause your'e really quiet. But it's the thought that counts! So will you come back? Please Mattie, do it for me! Please little brother!"
"Mattie says... no. You hurt me, did you know that? Every time you forgot me, or people mistook me for you, or you ditched me to hang out with Arthur, it was like a stab to my soul! And you know what? It happened every freaking day! Do you know how that feels? No, you don't! You go through life as the popular kid that everybody knows. You aren't the hero Alfred, as much as you dream that you are. If you were my hero, you would have remembered me when everybody else forgot me, saved me every time I was bullied because people thought I was you, ditched Arthur to hang out with me. But you didn't. Oh, and I'm not your little brother. We're twins. And I'm the older twin, not you! Face it Alfred. Nobody misses me. I bet it took a really long time for you to even realize I wasn't there. I counted on that. I can't live with you imbeciles anymore."
"Mattie, I never meant to hurt you! And that was a long time ago! Please forgive me! I need you at home. Mama and Papa have been total messes since you left, and they fight almost nonstop because you ran away! Please, I can't take it anymore!"
"It happened the day I left, you chienne! I hate you so much! You've never done anything to me except hurt me and borrow stuff! And I bet you're lying about Mama and Papa, because they never remembered me either! This is for every lie you've told me. This is for Mattie! Haven't you figured it out yet? I'm not Mattie. I'm Matvey, all of your brother's wishes that he never could get the courage to express or carry out. But since I'm not really your brother, I have no qualms whatsoever for doing this!"
And then I stabbed him. Oh gosh, I stabbed him! I didn't want to, Matvey did it! I never really wanted any of this! I have tears rolling down my face, and I hear someone scream. I could hear his thoughts again, the ones that haunt my dreams and leave me feeling even lonelier than ever. Now my Mattie will never be forgotten by Alfred. One down, many to go. No matter. It is only a matter of time before I can take over again. This is fun!
The person screams again, bringing me out of my trance. Who is it? Oh, it's me. Wait, where am I? Everything hits me at once. Oh shit, school, the cafeteria, the trio... Well I'm officially screwed. I look up to see Gillian staring at me.
"Vas zur hölle was that! You just got this look on your face and you started crying and screaming. What the hell! If you are going to do this whole scene thing again, we can't hang out. We can still be lab partners, but no sitting with us three at lunch. I'm sorry to have to do this, but I can't have you ruining the reputation of the trio. You can sit with my unawesome little bruder and his equally unawesome friends if you want. Oh, and what was that," the albino ranted.
I flushed at the impression I must have made on everybody. "Um, I r-remembered watching my twin brother d-die. It was r-really bad. I can h-hear his thoughts as he d-does it too. And I don't r-really care about the l-lunch thing. I'm sorry to b-bother you. Do y-you think you can i-introduce me to the o-others? I stammer. I am really embarressed, and if I thought I had even the slightest chance at fitting in here, there it went. With a slight nod, she walks over to the others at the table.
"Unawesome peoples, listen up! This is Mattie and he's your friend! Got it?" Gilly yelled at the table. She turns to me and starts randomly pointing at people. "That's my little sister Lettie, that's Feliciana, one of her best friends, that's Kiki, she never talks, and that's Maina. Maina is almost as awesome as me. You two are pretty similar from what I can tell, so she's probably your best option for a friend. And those are a bunch of other people that I don't feel like introducing. Now go sit with them. Bye, see y'all later! Don't hurt him!"
I look around at the unfamiliar faces before me. "Eh, hi guys. I'm sorry about earlier. I just..." They look at me expectantly. "I remembered the day my twin brother was killed and I couldn't do anything. The memory just appears some days, and I can't escape it. It's... my fault he's dead. My parents forget me and I practically raise myself. But it's nothing to you." I take a deep breath. "But I come here now, becaue Alfred wouldn't have wanted me to waste my life away. The pain won't stop, though. Because nothing I do will ever bring my brother back to me."
Lettie, Feliciana, and Kiki looked really startled at hearing about Alfred. "Was your brother Alfred Jones? If so, then you must be Matthew Williams. Hey, didn't you run away?" Feliciana asked before Kiki and Lettie put a hand over her mouth, instantly quieting her.
Lettie gives a weak smile. "Feli, how many times do I have to tell you to not embarress people! I'm sorry for prying, Matthew, but is it true?"
"Yeah, it's true. That was a horrible day, but I'm starting to get over it." I start to say before Maina cuts me off.
"Don't say you're starting to get over it. I can tell just by the look on your face that you are totally destroyed every single time you think about it." Maina states very assuredly.
Suprised, i jump a little. "How did you know about that! I try to keep my feelings wrapped up so... nothing happens again." I lamely finish. Hah. You think you can escape me, don't you. You can't. I'm never leaving, not even after everybody else is gone. You are stuck with me forever.
Mainia smiles sadly. "I know your pain because I had the same thing happen to me. You know how it goes, I run away, my twin sister chases after me to try to convince me to return, I have to watch her be murdered by something that will never leave. We really aren't that different."
Lettie and Feli walk off because Lettie sees that Maina and I needed to get our pain out and talk with someone who is going through the same thing. "Maina, do you hear a voice, the voice constantly haunting you and telling you what you could do to be remembered?" I ask with a shaky voice. "And do you get dreams where the monster is trying to escape, and you can't wake up? Because I really don't know what to do!"
Maina grimaces. "The monster is always hungry, but she's been much worse lately. She's a little better while I'm talking to you, possibly because she has another spirit to talk to. I don't really know what to do either, the last... attack was three years ago. By the way, do you ever seem to turn invisible? As crazy as it sounds, it's like I'm not even there!
"Mine has been horrible, suffocating me in my dreams and telling me to kill all these people... It's terrible, but I'm slowly learning to avoid it. Alfred's thing was three years ago too. And yes I do go invisible. I wonder why we can do that? Sometimes it helps, but most of the time it really sucks." I whisper. "Do you wanna skip and we can keep talking and figuring this stuff out?"
She smiles and walks out the door with me following. "First, I want to show you something." Maina shoves a pamphlet into my hands.
"Has something happened that you can't escape? Are you depressed or abused? Do you have problems with cutting or other methods of release? We have a completely free month long camp for people like you. Call 1800-937-7736 for more info."
"What's this, it sounds like they're talking to... us? Should we go? What would we tell our parents and friends? Would it help us keep other people, er, alive? Would it be able to save us? It sounds promising, but can we trust it? I ask. "Let's call the number after we get out of this place."
We walk out with suprisingly no problems. We slowly make our way to the old park that I used to hang out with Al at. Turns out that Maina did the same with Briana. I guess it is a sense of peace for both of our inner turmoil. We sit on the swings and talk for a while. She's fifteen, like I am, and the deaths of our twins happened on the same day at almost the same time. If that isn't creepy, then I don't know what is. Ha, I can think of something! How about Matvey and Manni, our personal demons. With all of our similarities, I find it hard to believe that I didn't find Maina earlier, maybe even before the incidents. Well, there was that one girl that I used to talk to in elementary school, but that can't be her, can it? I finally come back after being zoned out for a good five minutes. It looks like Maina did the same. Everything we say, think, and do seems to be the same as the other, strangely. Maybe we have some sort of connection that only activated today. It's strange, but with everything else weird in our lives, it could be possible. Oh well. We talk for a couple more hours before saying goodbye each other's new best friend and greater sympathizer. Damn, we never called the number. Oh well, I guess we'll do it tomorrow. Today was a strange day, but what the hell, I've had weirder.